


A Turtle & His Sisyphus

by yourfaithfulsidekick



Category: TMNT (2007), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Gen, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-08-21 17:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 111,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8254886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourfaithfulsidekick/pseuds/yourfaithfulsidekick
Summary: Feeling like a liability to his family, Mikey strives to be a better ninja. Even if that means sacrificing yourself to a psychopathic scientist. Can he pull through to save his brothers from Bishop's deadly plot? Or will he continue to fall to the fear of his brothers- that he he is long gone. [Reposted from FanFiction][Continuing soon!].





	1. Chapter 1 // "Out of Place"

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! I've originally posted this story under FanFiciton (same username), and looking forward to continuing it on here as well! Since 2012, this story has grown with me even to today. After the first few chapters, I took a hiatus before picking it back up last year. I try to update once a month, but as a 2-year-graduate working student- that can be a bit problematic. 
> 
> This story WILL be continued/finished, as soon as I can. I wanted to share this here, and meet even more people in the community along the way. I have written this, and I am not stealing it from Fanfiction- it is my own work and you can find iy under my same username on Tumblr or FanFiction. 
> 
> I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts, reactions, advice- anything! Thank you to everyone in this awesome community, and I hope you enjoy!

 “Again!”

 

_Man, what I’d do for a nice large pepperoni pizza right about now…_ Michelangelo smiled at the thought of the delicious masterpiece. Immediately his mind began ticking at the thought of what he could conjure up. _Obviously it’ll have a ton of cheese! Maybe I could make- HAWAIAN! Now that’s a pizza that’ll-!_

“Focus, Michelangelo!”

 

_Oh, shell!_ Shaking his hungry mind, Mikey realized that he was now sitting on his shell, sprawled out on the ground. Looking up, Mikey was shot with his infamous brother’s death glare. _Oh, Leo. I swear, this dude practices how to rip through my soul in his mirror._

 

“That’s the third time this week I won in less than ten minutes, Michelangelo.” Leonardo said, scoffing the dirt off his knuckles. He sighed as he reached his hand out to his youngest brother, “How many times do I have to tell you to keep your mind on one thing? More specifically, your training?”

 

“Uh,” Mikey smiled weakly, accepting his brother’s hand as he lifted him up. “Just today or this week? Cause’ if it was today I think it’s about...the third? And if was the week well I really wasn’t thinking of keeping score of-!”

 

“Oh come on, Raph! That was totally uncalled for!”

 

“Don’t be such a sour puss, Don.”

 

“What now?” Leonardo mumbled to himself as he rubbed his forehead. Lately all of his brothers have been a source of both migraines and ulcers. He shook his head as he stormed over to his brothers. Stopping in his tracks, he turned around and said, “You stay here, Mike.”

 

Karai has been awfully quiet for the past few months, the Purple Dragons haven’t made any big moves, and the Foot has yet to steep out on the streets since the fall of the Shredder. The pressure of danger popping up, maybe even stronger, at any point pushed Splinter to train his sons much harder. Of course, Leo took Splinter’s intentions to heart. _Maybe a little too hard, for Leo’s sake!_

 

If he were human, he was sure that his oldest brother would have a hair full of grey hair at this point.

 

_Uh-oh! Leo looks even more ticked off than usual! Maybe if I just sneak past using my Battle Nexus Champion ninja skills…_ Michelangelo watched Leo turn to face the other side of the dojo where Raphael had Donatello in a headlock, shouting something about winning fair and square. Smiling to himself, he took complete full advantage of his situation. Tip-Toeing his way toward the door of the dojo, Mikey could hear Leo and Raph bickering over Don’s cries to be released. This was his big break-!

 

Making a sprint to his bedroom, Michelangelo can’t help but embrace the adrenaline rush that consumed him. Pushing himself to run as fast as he could, he finally reached his bedroom door. Shutting it behind him, he sighed of relief. _Ha! Made it out alive! Go Mikey, go Mikey! Go! Go!_

A loud knocking echoing outside his door interrupted his exhilaration. _Oh, Shell._ “Michelangelo!” Leonardo was back again for the kill -this time, his voice full blown with authority. “Your training is over when **I** say so! Get out here right now and finish!”

 

“Geez, Leo, calm your katanas.” Lowering his head in defeat, Mikey opened his door. Before Mikey could plea to his big brother, Leo slapped his brother across the side of his head. Before Mikey could cry out, he suddenly felt his arm being dragged out of his room and down back to the dojo.

 

“Aw, come on, Leo!” Mikey cried, (failingly) attempting to get out of his brother’s grasp. “I’m sorry! Next time I-!”

 

“This **won’t** happen again.” Leo said sternly, giving him a shove into the dojo. Inside, Raph and Don were already waiting. There, Don is leaning against one side of the wall, and Raph being on the other- both his older brothers pouting in their own corners.

 

“Alright,” Leo began, clearing his throat. “Everyone’s behavior has been unacceptable these past few days-.”

 

“We don’t need a lecture, Fearless.” Raph grunted. “Especially from you.” Mikey bit his lip to the growing tension in the small room. Lately, things weren’t very peachy between him and his brothers. _Hell, even Donnie is acting up!_

Leo, after Splinter fell ill earlier in the month, took the role of being head of the house. _As if Leo wasn’t already- er- besides Master Splinter of course!_ In Mikey’s eyes, this meant Leo’s big brother’s aura/lecture/talks have increased a good fifty percent. Leo has become even stricter with his brothers than usual. Sure, Leo wasn’t fond of Raph going up to the surface with Casey some nights. It wasn’t until recently when Leo became more persistent with Raph about his time out, with or without Casey. But it wasn’t just Raph getting the wrath.

 

Don, being in his lab even more often than usual, has focused solely on helping Master Splinter have a speedy recovery and his usual calibrations. Master Splinter insists that he just has a simple cold, nothing for his sons to fret over. Of course, Don being his own perfectionist, convinced himself to run every test on his father as possible- just to be safe. Even Michelangelo knew that once Don was head into a project, there would be nothing to snap his head out of it until he was through. Leo, knowing how hard his brother pushes, attempts to pull his brother out of his lab and train more. _More like force him to train._

 

“Believe it or not, I’m going to agree with Raph on this one.” Don sighed. “We did everything you asked Leo, it’s only morning practice. There’s no need to push so hard-.”

 

“No need?” Leo hissed, clenching his hand to his katana.

 

_Oh, shell. Well, yup, aaaand Leo has officially cracked._

 

Mikey took a step back as Leo walked up to Don. Getting face to face with his younger brother, Leo said, “Karai can be out there planning a way to get back at us!”

 

Mikey could tell that his oldest brother was trying to hide any emotion in his voice. In a way, he always felt bad for Leo. It was very, very, rare that he’d see Leo calm down and just hang out with them. He tried to recall the last time he just joked and played with his brother. _Were we 10? 12?_

 

Leonardo looked over to the rest of his brothers as he continued on. “You think that you’ll be able to fight off an entire Foot elite? You think you’re strong enough to face Karai?”

 

“We know you aren’t.”

 

_Wait; scratch that, **now** Leo has cracked. Oh, come on, Raph! _ Michelangelo slapped his forehead as Don cursed under his breath. _Well, this is it. It was great knowing my brothers._

 

Silence fell onto the room.

 

Donatello stood helplessly in front of Leonardo. Leonardo’s head snapped over to Raphael, still clutching his katanas tightly. Donatello placed his hand on Leo’s shoulder, gripping it firmly to keep him in his place.

 

_If Raph and Leo don’t kill each other now, than the tension in this room will! I totally got to stop it-!_ Mikey stepped in between Raph and Leo as he put his arms outward toward each of them. Forcing his trademark grin, he coughed a chuckle, “Okay, dudes, look, we’re all tired, pretty ticked off and maaaybe even hungry? Let’s part on friendly terms, eat some pizza, say our sorries and call it a day!”

 

Silence fell again.

 

Mikey darted his eyes to each of his brothers, still attempting to keep a smile. Raph, on his right, was standing firm with his arm crossed. His eyes locked onto Leo’s, irritation oozing from his glare. Looking to his left, Leo had the same glance to Raph. Don stood on Leo’s right, still holding Leo’s shoulder for dear life. Don, being the only one who was looking at Mikey, simply shook his head. Mikey bit his lip as he desperately looked to his brother. _Come on, Don! Give me a hand here!_

Knowing Don, being the most peaceful one out of them, he probably won’t step in until Raph and Leo pull each other’s heads off. Leaving Mikey going solo.

 

Forcing a more cheerful smile, Mikey clapped his hands together. “Okay, then! I’ll start then! Leo, bro, I’m sorry I ran off to my room to hide from your demon like wrath and for probably pissing you off even more- BUT, anyway, I am sorry! Now, Raph, apologize for being mean to Leo.”

 

“I ain’t apologizin’ for shit.”

 

“GOOD APOLOGY, Raphie-!” Mikey smiled, attempting to cut Raph off. “I can almost **feel** the emotion of sympathy flowing in the wind! Now, Don, you apologize for talking back to Leo!”

 

Don, rolling his eyes, knew to play along with Mikey’s game- or else he won’t stop the charade. His voice monotone, he squeezed Leo’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for talking back to you, Leo.”

 

“There ya go!” Mikey smiled. His plan was working! _Er, well, Raph is too proud for that anyway. I think I even see Leo lighting up a little!_ Smiling to Leo, he pointed to his oldest brother. “Now, Leo, it’s your turn! Apologize for being so strict and fatherly and dominating over us!”

 

Raphael chuckled as Donatello slapped his forehead. _Oops. That one was my bad._

 

“You’re absolutely right, Michelangelo.” Leo smirked, deep blue eyes beginning to grow even more intense. He forced a laugh as he continued sarcastically, “Wow! I’m sorry that I’m only just looking out for each of you. Oh, wait! I am so sorry for making you guys train harder so that when you go out in a fight, you won’t come back as many times as you’ve all been hurt. But, I am mostly sorry for being **so** fatherly. I didn’t think caring about my brothers’ safety and protection could be so awful.”

 

“You’re so full of yourself, Fearless.” Raph hissed, stepping closer to his older brother. “You think just cause’ Master Splinter has a tiny cold you think you could play master! Well guess what? Yer no master-!”

 

Brushing Don off his shoulder, Leo stepped closer to Raph. His voice raises higher, the emotion no longer hiding. “Coming from the guy who goes out every night just to feel more tougher and stronger! How does **that** protect this family?”

 

“Stop!” Mikey cried, stepping in between his brothers. “C-Come on, guys! I know how much you guys love proving each other wrong but-!”

 

“Stay out of this, Mike.” Raphael warned, shoving his brother to the side.

 

“Guys, come on.” Donatello took a try at stopping his older brothers. “At this rate you two are going to wake Sensei. And he needs all the rest he can.”

 

_Ooooh the guilt card! Nicely done, Donnie!_ Leonardo hesitantly backed away from Raphael and nodded. “Fine. We’re done for now.”

 

“Finally!” Grabbing Raphael’s arm, Mikey attempted to tug his arm toward the door. “How about we play some Resident Evil, Raph? We always make a good team-!”

 

“Yer leave me to die and take all the ammo,” Raphael shook out of his little brother’s grip, “no way in hell am I playin’.”

 

“Aw, come on!” Mikey pleaded, watching his brother stroll to his room. _And once he’s in there he ain’t coming out until dinner...Maybe Don will play with me!_

 

Adrenaline rushed through him as he skipped his way to Don, who was cleaning up the dojo. “Donnie!” Mikey tackled his brother, putting his arm around Don’s shoulder. “How about we play? I’ll let you be the cool dude and I’ll be the chick!”

 

Half-laughing, Don removed his brother’s arm off his shoulder. “Can’t, Mikey. I got to check in on Splinter and call April to pick up more medicine.” Making his way out of the dojo, he looked back to his youngest brother and smiled slightly. “Maybe you could check in on Leo. You do owe him an apology, you were pretty harsh on him.”

 

“ME?!” Mikey squeaked, raising his hands in the air. Before he could defend himself, Donatello was already gone. Sighing in defeat, Mikey slouched his back and dragged his feet back in the hallway.

 

Plopping himself on the floor, he leaned his shell against the wall. Pulling his knees up to his chest, he rested his head on his knees. This wasn’t the first time he felt that all his brothers were completely against him. _Shell, all I wanted to do was help. That’s what I…always wanted to do._ Why can’t his brothers see past that?

 

_I-I know I like to play jokes and act like an idiot sometimes…but don’t they see that I’m not an idiot? O-Or do they really see me as just…that._ No. Mikey shook off his deep thoughts and pulled himself back up on his feet. There was no way he would let his family see him this way. They’ll just think he’s whining again for attention.

 

_B-But, I don’t! I just…want to make things right for once._

 

And he knew jus where to start!

 

Mike quickly paced himself over to Leo’s room. His door was completely shut. Biting his lip, Mikey hesitated knocking. Leo usually never keeps his door totally closed, that is, unless he wants privacy. _But Donnie’s right…_

Mikey did his traditional knocking; knocking twice, then again three times. “Leo? Its me…can we talk for a second or are you sleeping or meditating or-.”

 

Leonardo slowly opened the door halfway, leaning himself against the door frame. His arms crossed, he cleared his throat. His eyes finally reaching his little brother’s, Mikey was taken back by the look his oldest had. He was exhausted- whether it was mentally or physically (shell, or even both) he couldn’t tell.

 

“H-Huh?” Mikey snapped out of his dazed thoughts and looked back up at Leo. “OH- uh- look, Leo, I’m…sorry about picking on you before. I totally get how freaked out you are over this-.”

 

“As should you.” Leo cut off, his voice becoming deeper with authority. “Remember what I told you at the Battle Nexus? If one of us goes down, we all go down. You need to pick up your slack or…” His voice faded as he looked to the ground, then immediately back up. “…or we will go down too.”

 

“What are you sayin’, bro?”

 

“I’m saying…that if you don’t stop fooling around and focus on training with me and the others, we can’t trust you in a fight.”

 

“Can’t trust me?!” Michelangelo echoed, hurt piercing his voice. His brothers, **brothers,** believed that he’d be nothing but… “You guys think I’m just some kind of…liability to you guys…?”

 

“I didn’t say you were one, Mikey.” Leo placed his hand on his youngest shoulder. His voice becoming more comforting. “I’m saying, if you keep slacking off and not working with all of us…then yeah, you’re putting us in danger too. And as the leader, I’m not putting Raph and Don in danger too.”

 

_What the shell? L-Leo really sees me as **that** much of a weakness that I put Raph and Donnie in trouble..?_

 

“L-Leo, come on.” Mike pleaded, starting to back away from his brother’s reach. “I-I mean I joke around with you guys but, when we train I do my part and get it done! Okay, maybe sometimes I get distracted easily a-and I tick you guys off, but I work!”

 

“Mike!” Leo exclaimed. “Just…get your act straight. I’m not going to tell you again.” And with that, Leonardo shut his door. Leaving his youngest drowning in his own brother’s words…

 

./././././././././.

 

Shutting his eyes tight, he could have swore he heard his brother choke a sob. Sure, his brother was the most sensitive out of them all. And yeah, he took any criticism to heart at times, even while covering it with a joke. But he did it for the best…right?

 

Leonardo collapsed on his bedside, staring up at his ceiling. _When did things get so crazy? Sensei…I-I don’t think I can handle all of this not-._

_“I trust you, my son. You know your brothers well. You will take care of them. Have faith, Leonardo. Just as I have faith in you.”_

His heart clenched as his father’s words swam around his already filled mind. He knew Raphael was already completely fed up with him, Donatello was too stressed over Splinter’s condition, and Mikey…is just in his own world.

 

At least there, Leonardo knew Mikey didn’t have to have the burden of worrying over anything. He can just be himself, laughing, goofing off, cracking jokes, and just acting like things were just the same as they were.

 

He needs to realize the truth…

 

Even if it hurts him

 

/././././././././././././


	2. Chapter 2 // "A Liability"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things begin to grow more tense between the brothers as they attempt to feel secure in an uncertain situation. Meanwhile, Mikey begins to feel the pressure from taking charge...

/././././././././././././

 

Never has the youngest ever felt so still in his life. His never-ending stomach finally reached bottom pit, echoing his entire body to the core. His mind continued rewinding the moments, hearing the words over and over again. Is he really as bad as his brothers say he is?

 

He felt like he was staring at the door for hours. Waiting for Leonardo to open the door, embrace him, and confess how wrong he was about his accusations of his brother. But, just as Michelangelo predicted, the door remained shut.

 

“Yo.”

Mikey jumped at the different voice, turning his head he forced a smile. “Oh! H-Hey, Raph! Thought you were sleeping or something-.”

 

“Is fearless in there?” Raphael asked bluntly, ignoring Michelangelo’s stuttering. Mikey noticed Raph’s sudden change of voice as he made his way toward Leo’s door. _Raph looks a bit stressed…What’s on his shell?_ “What are yer doin’ here anyway?”

 

“Uh…” Mikey nervously chuckled as he began to step away from the door. “Uh…I just talked to Leo.” Raphael noticed Mikey’s wince at the mention of Leo’s name, but before he could question his little brother, he quickly changed topics.

 

“I-Isn’t it patrol time? Who’s on shift tonight?”

 

“Beats me. Thought you and Donnie are supposed to be goin’.”

 

“We were but Don insisted on staying with Master Splinter. And, uh, Leo’s doing meditations right now so I think it’s you and me tonight, Raphie!”

 

“No, I’ll go. You ready, Raph?” Leonardo opened his door, his swords sitting rightfully behind his shell. He gave a nod to Raphael, his eyes still to his youngest. “Stay with Don.”

 

“But, Leo, you went the last three times with all of us!” Mikey whined, determined not to let his big bro win this battle too. “I didn’t get to go for days! I need some topside time too!”

 

“You go topside all the time to get pizza, Mikey. That’s plenty of time up there.” Leonardo stated, making his way toward the tunnels.

 

Raphael shifted uncomfortably at the noticeable tension between his oldest and youngest brothers. It was strange to him see Leo and Mikey taking attitudes to each other. _Hmph. Usually it’s me getting old fearless’ sass. What did the shell-brain do now?_

“I need some action too!” Mikey argued, following Leo’s tail. “Well, I’m just gonna come anywa-.”

 

“Michelangelo.” Leonardo hissed, abruptly turning to his brother. Leo sighed as he looked at Raphael then to Michelangelo. “I said you are staying with Donatello. You will go on patrol with us when I think it’s appropriate.”

 

“Appropriate?!” Mikey echoed, his voice raising an octave. “What am I ten again? You let me go topside for pizza but you won’t let me fight with you guys?” Turning to Raph, Mikey desperately pleaded, “Raph, come on, I should be able to go right?”

 

“I already spoke to you about this.” Leonardo stepped in front of Raphael, cutting his brother off. “Go train for a little while, check on Donnie, you’re needed here. Raph, let’s go.” Leo began heading toward the tunnels, his own thoughts racing across his mind.

 

He always had a different kind of connection with his youngest. Whenever he would get annoyed with Raph, he would verbally argue. With Don, he would let his genius brother get his air. But with Mikey, heck, Mikey is so laid back he usually laughs off anything he says. Leo paced himself out toward the sewers, hoping the colder air shift would help clear his head.

 

“Yo, fearless.” Raphael called, jogging his way to Leo’s side. “Pretty harsh on the bone-head, huh? What’s the deal?”

 

“It has nothing to do you with you.”

 

“Geez, sorry I asked.” Rolling his eyes, he sarcastically let out a chuckle. Before he could shove his brother playfully, Leo was already running down the tunnels. _Sheez. I **really** need to spike his tea someday…_

/././././././././././././././

 

_No, no, no! This can’t be right! I have to run more tests and-_

 

“D-Don?” Mikey carefully poked his head between the doorway, fighting the powerful urge to cry he forced a cough and slowly let himself in. “How are you doing, Donnie?”

 

Don feverishly rushed through his desk. _T-This can’t be right, I-I have to double check this- why would he lie to us? Is he…?_ Almost forgetting his brother’s presence, he said, “Huh? I’m busy right now, Mike. I’m sorry but if you want, if Sensei isn’t sleeping, you could talk to him? He likes having company.”

 

Scrambling through his pile of papers, he desperately searched for the test results. Sure, maybe he was over doing it. _B-But I can’t be wrong this time. What if he’s a lot sicker than he’s letting on? Sensei wouldn’t lie to me would he-? Wait…Mikey!_

 

Spinging his chair around, he looked for his brother. But there was no one standing at the doorway. _Hm, oh well. Guess I’ll catch him later._

/././././././././././././././././

 

This was foreign to him; why didn’t he think of this before? Shell, why didn’t he think? This wasn’t his thing. Laying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, fighting the urge to scream at the top of his lungs.

 

What would his brothers do?

 

Leo. He’d meditate for sure; supposedly it calms both the mind and the spirit. Maybe that’s why he’s so level-headed- _MOST of the time anyway…_

 

Don. He’d just tinker away until his brain turns to a puddle, drink coffee, then continue working again.

 

Raph. He’d beat the ever-living out of his punching bag until all his frustrations were gone. For years, Mikey wondered why Raph didn’t like to talk about his problems- now coming to think of it, none of his brothers discussed their feelings.

 

Leo meditates. Raph punches. Don fixes.

 

When was the last time his brothers coincided in him? He knew that when Leo was feeling pretty down, he’d go to Splinter and (though he’ll never admit it) even Raph. Don usually blows off steam to Leo, and every now and then Raph. Raph yells his irritations out to Leo and once he’s calm, has a laugh with Donnie.

 

Whenever he felt down, all his brothers were there to comfort him. Leo would be almost like that “motherly” figure, Raph would be blunt but considerate ( _Not like he’d admit to that either!),_ and Donnie would help him figure out why he was sad in the first place.

 

When did his brothers ever go to _him_ for comfort? Lots of thoughts came into mind at once: he’s the youngest, maybe it’s cause they thought he’d just make fun of them, maybe they thought he wouldn’t understand, maybe they didn’t trust him…

 

Each thought passing in his mind squeezed his heart so tight that he could feel almost feel the physical pain of the emotion. At first, Mikey didn’t realize the flow of tears that escaped his baby blue eyes. _Great, now I’m blubbering like a baby. Like a baby…_

He couldn’t stop. The tears continued to flow uncontrollably, his breathing turned ragged, he pulled his pillow over his head. Begging that no one would come in the room, he continued to sob into his sheets. _Weak. That’s all I am. Leo’s stressed out of his mind, Donnie looks like he’s gonna have a meltdown, Raph is more uptight than usual, Splinter is really sick, and what am I doing? How am I helping? When did I ever help…?_

Memories of past fights, past clashes with the Purple Dragons, their last fight with Karai that seemed like years ago…

 

He helped then- of course he did.

 

Right?

 

Suddenly, a gentle knock echoed into Michelangelo’s room. The turtle, shot his head up and stared at the door. _Oh shell, can’t let anyone see me like this._ Clasping his hand over his mouth, he quickly threw the covers over him and placed the pillow back on his head. He shut his eyes tightly, fighting back the urge to sob once again. _Come on, think I’m sleeping just go…_

He heard his door slowly creak open and a pair of footsteps come closer and closer to him. Finally a voice matched the footsteps, both light and quick. “Mikey, I’m ordering pizza for April to pick up. Do you want your usual or…?”

 

_Keep quiet dude, doesn’t he get the hint I’m not sleeping?!_ Staying as still as possible, a few seconds passed by as he heard his brother walk closer to him, shaking his arm.

 

“Mike. I know you’re not sleeping. Don’t try to trick me.”

 

“M’ tryin’ to…” Mikey moaned weakly, desperately hoping he wouldn’t choke on a sob. “M’ not hungry.”

 

“Michelangelo Hamato **_not_** hungry?” Donatello chuckled, patting his younger brother’s head. “Okay, now something’s wrong. Are you upset cause I snapped at you in my lab?”

 

“No.” Mikey felt Donnie sit on the edge of his bed. _Greeaaaat the one time you decide to take a break from working_. “D-Don’t you have a coffee to make or something…?”

 

“Ha,” Don snickered, giving his brother a gentle shove. “Just so you know, it’s being made as we speak!”

 

“Yay.” Mikey replied weakly, still chocking on a sob. He shoved the pillow deeper into his face and faked a cough.

 

“Now, enough changing subjects, Mikey. Wha-.” Both turtles jumped at the sound of Don’s shell cell going off. Mikey heard Don snap his phone open and answer, “Leo? Everything okay?...Do you want me and Mikey to-?...Oh…Well, yeah, I gave Sensei medication that will make him drowsy for-…A-Are you sure, Leo? I mean I don’t mind staying-….Do you and Raph need anything?...Where are you two?...Okay, I’m on my way.”

 

“Leo?” Mikey asked, still remaining still in his bed. He felt Donatello rise up from his bed and begin to pace toward the doorway.

 

“Yeah, he and Raph found a old Foot warehouse and need me to hack into the the security system. We shouldn’t take long.” Donatello hesitated for a moment before continuing, “Uhm…Sensei should be up in a little while. I need you to get up and stay with him. If his condition changes in any way, be sure to write it down. If it’s anything huge send me a text or call me, okay?”

 

“Hm…’kay.” Mikey clenched the pillow underneath him tighter as Don’s footsteps grew quieter and quieter when finally he heard a door close behind him…

 

_Figures Leo wouldn’t ask me to go…_

 

/././././././././././././././

 

High above the rooftop, Leonardo and Raphael stood over the edge as they observed the warehouse building. Cold air blew widely as small flakes of snow began to fall. Both brothers shared a shiver, was it supposed to snow?

 

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Raph smirked as he took a few steps back to make the leap for the building.

 

“Wait-!” Leo grabbed his arm and pointed down to the doorway. “See that, Raph? That’s one of those security locks in every Foot Base. We need to get in as unnoticed as we can…I better call Don.”

 

Flipping his shell cell he dialed Donnie’s number, waiting a few minutes then spoke, “Hey, Don…Yes, Raph and I are fine. We found what looks to be a small Foot base. And, of course, there’s one of those locks that you so love to pick. We can use you down here-…No, Mikey needs to stay with Splinter…Will Splinter be okay?...Good…Donnie, you’re the only one who can do this. Mikey can handle watching Sensei for an hour….Splinter can’t be left alone…No, we don’t need anything. Just you….Raph and I are at the docks, on top of the old toy factory…See you soon.”

 

“Great, just great.” Raph grumbled as he began fiddling his sais. “Why do we have to wait around for Donnie anyway? If the place looks as empty, let’s just smash a window and get in!”

 

“That keypad looked rather new and functioning. This is a chance for us to, **_silently_** finally see what the Foot have been doing for months.”

 

“Hmph…I’m gettin’ sick of bashin’ Purple Dragons anyway.”

 

“Leo! Raph!” Donatello leaped from the building behind them and jogged his way to his older brothers. Catching his breath he gave a quick wave, “Sorry I took a while, I had to pack and few things and set the security code. Are there Foot inside?”

 

“Not that we can tell, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Probably no more than a dozen.”

 

“Security cameras around the area?”

“No, all in the clear.”

 

“Hm…a high tech lock code, but no pretty cameras to go with it?” Donnie question out loud to himself. “I mean…I’ve picked many locks of theirs before. If something was so juicy in there, wouldn’t they take every measure possible to be sure we wouldn’t get in?”

 

Raphael’s irritation began to rise as he kicked the nearest stonewall. “Who cares?! Let’s just get in’ there!”

 

“Hold a sec, Raph!” Leo hissed, then turned to face his second youngest. “You have a point, but it’s worth checking out. Let’s move out.” Sweeping down off the building, Leo couldn’t help but feel a sense of danger nearby…

 

/./././././././././././././././

 

Forcing himself up out of his bed, he slowly made his way into Master Splinter’s room. He hasn’t seen his father since he fell ill. That made him feel pretty crappy, after all whenever he was sick or hurt, Sensei sat beside him during the day.

 

Hesitantly he knocked on the door and slowly opened it, “S-Sensei?” Mikey whispered loudly, hoping he didn’t wake his father. “S-Sensei?”

 

“Yes, my son?” Sitting up in his bed, as if he was expecting Donatello to check up on him, a small smile lighted his face. “Oh! Michelangelo, how are you my son? You do not look well.”

 

_Don’t cry. Don’t be selfish. Sensei’s really sick, you’re checkin in on him, not blubbing about your feelings._

 

“I didn’t get much sleep, I’m all good.”

 

“Michelangelo, you cannot lie to your own father. I can feel much distress in your spirit, what is wrong?”

 

_No, I can’t just pour out to him. I need to focus on him, I got to focus on Sensei._ Taking a seat next to Splinter, he grabbed Donnie’s notepad and forced a smile. “Just tired! Well, while Donnie is gone, I’ll be your nurse! How are you feeling, Sensei? Donnie said that you’d be sleeping until he’d come back…”

 

“Where is Donatello?” Sensei asked quickly, looking tenser then before.

 

“U-Uh…Leo and Raph went for their patrol and called Donnie in for something. Donnie said they wouldn’t be long-.”

 

“Hm…And why are you not with your brothers, my son?”

“Uhm…well you can’t exactly be left alone! A-And…They needed Donnie, so, I stayed here.” Mikey pleaded that his father would be able to buy his story. After all, someone _did_ have to watch Sensei and Donnie _is_ the best to pick locks. But, the sense of betrayal still stung his heart. Forcing a cough to break the silence, he smiled, “So, as I was saying, how are you feeling?”

 

“Much, much better. Donatello’s medicine is helping me recover greatly. I am very thankful for him, for all of you.”

 

Mikey smiled as he gave his signature grin and thumbs up, “And us for you, Sensei! You hungry? I can make you anything you’d like-!”

 

“Actually, my son, I wanted to talk about you…” A wrinkled grin stretched across his face. “I may be getting older, and I may be under the weather, but I can still sense when something is troubling my sons; especially you, Michelangelo.”

 

Chuckling under his breath, he slowly raised his head up. “I’m that obvious?”

 

“Hm. Every since you were very small, you held to me the most. Unlike your brothers, you showed no shame in expressing your feelings. Especially to me when you were young.” Mikey jumped at the warm hand touching his shoulder. Looking up at his father, he continued, “Michelangelo. Having as many feelings as you do is not a weakness. Having the ability to read people and their emotions is good, something that many do not have. But, you must express yourself too, my son. Especially to your brothers. I sense much tension between you four.”

 

“Y-Yeah…” Mikey trembled, his eyes back to narrowing the floor. “Leo and I got into a fight. But, I mean, he’s right. I…” _NO! NO! This isn’t about you! You need to be jotting down Sensei’s changes! You need to be asking him how he feels! Offer tissues!_ “OH! I was supposed to take your temperature! Donnie will kill me! A-And you weren’t supposed to be up for a while, I’ll have to tell em’ that too…”

 

“My son,” Splinter began. But his sentence was cut off as Michelangelo shoved the thermometer in his mouth.

 

“NO TALKING, SENSEI!” Mikey announced in his best impression of Donatello’s authority voice. He sat up straight and continued his charade, “Hm…Let’s see…No fever so far, woke up earlier than supposed to, how is your appetite?”

 

_At least seeing him smile is worth it…_

/././././././././././././././

 

“Almost done there, Donnie?”

 

“Yeah, braniac, not like we got all the time in the world.”

 

“I’m working as fast as I can! You two try hacking into a 2000 LockPock with an upgraded mega-hard drive with- DONE!” Smiling in victory, the door made a loud snapping sound. Gently pushing the door open, he waved his brothers behind him. “Come on!”

 

Leonardo stepped in front of Donatello and began leading his brothers down the narrow hallway. Darkness engulfed the whole warehouse. Leo squinted his eyes, trying to adjust to the darkness around him. “Don,” he whispered, “got a light?”

 

“Yep!” A small light shined down the hallway.

 

“Don, stay behind me. Raph cover the rear. Remember, we may not be alone.” Slowing making his way forward. The hallway didn’t last for long until Leo slowly turned the doorknob that lead to the next room.

 

“Looks like no one has been here for months…” Donnie mumbled, shining the light on some of the equipment. “Looks like just a regular lab to me. You sure this is Foot, Leo?”

 

“Yes.” Leo hissed, rummaging through some of the paperwork. “Raph and I saw someone com in ourselves. Keep searching, and stick together…”

 

Leonardo stepped lightly as he maneuvered his way around the desks. Each desk had their own sets of piles of papers. “Seems like just plain old paperwork…”

 

“Think this could’ve been a distraction? Trap?” Raphael carefully shuffled around the lab, eyeing every corner he could.

 

“I-It would make sense…Lead us away from the Lair, but why?” Donatello questioned carefully, watching his oldest brother continue to rummage through papers. “I set the alarm systems for the lair on my phone as well, just in case it goes off we’ll know. But I should probably call Mikey, give him a heads up.”

 

“Yeah,” Leo breathed, lowering his head in defeat. How could he be so careless? He should have known it was going to be a trap. He should have known better than to put his family at risk. He should have known better than to leave Mikey alone with Splinter. “I’ll call him.”

 

/./././././././././././././././

 

“Michelangelo, I don’t think it’s a wise idea to-.”

 

“Aw, but Klunk loves you, Sensei! And you two need to bond more!” Placing the, now bigger, kitten on Splinter’s lap, Mikey smiled as he pet Klunk’s ear. “You try!”

 

Hesitantly, Splinter pet behind Klunk’s other ear. The kitten purred as he rubbed against Splinter’s paw.

 

Mikey smiled from ear to ear as he jumped up and down in his seat. “AW! Look, Sensei, he **_does_** love you! He just loves attention!”

 

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

 

Red lights flashed throughout the lair accompanied by a loud wailing noise. Splinter sat up in his bed as Michelangelo rushed over to Donnie’s computer. “N-No worries, Sensei! It’s probably just sewer rats again!” Opening up the security system software, Mikey quickly scanned the security cameras surrounding the lair. “I don’t see anything…It could be-.”

 

RING. RING. RING

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

RING. RING. RING.

 

“Ah! Too many noises!” Mikey flipped open his shell-cell and pressed it against his ear as his eyes continued to scan the cameras. “Kinda busy at the moment! Can you call back later?”

 

“Mikey!” Donnie cried on the other line. “What’s going on?! Is Sensei okay?! We’re on our way back now, keep the doors locked!”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I hear ya, Don! I got this!” Mikey’s eyes widened as he saw about a dozen Foot soldiers breaking into the main door. “Oh shell…”

 

_I got to do something! The others aren’t gonna make it back in time. And Master Splinter! He can’t do anything in his state. I gotta make sure he’s safe! They must know he’s here…_

 

“Michelangelo! You must go, find your brothers, leave me here-!”

 

“No!” Mikey shouted, not realizing how panicked he sounded. His thoughts were racing so fast in his mind, he couldn’t think straight. _Gotta do something, Gotta do something-!_

“Mikey?! Mike! Michelangelo! What’s going on? Where is Sensei?”

 

Mikey scanned his eyes quickly around Don’s lab. _There’s got to be a way to protect Sensei…Think Mikey, think! WAIT-! I GOT IT!_ Mikey smiled quickly at the memory. Donnie got so sick and tired of him walking in on his experiments, he made an automatic lock door than can only be unlocked on the inside. _That’s it! Now where is that control…?!_

“My son, what are you doing?!”

 

“Mikey! Damn it, answer me!”

 

“S-Sorry, Don!” Flipping his shell-cell shut and putting back in his belt, he rushed toward the doorway and punched the red button on the keypad. Looking up to Master Splinter, he put on his best smile, “Don’t worry, Sensei! You’ll be safe! I’ll take care of this!” Pushing the lock button, he shut the door closed behind him. He could hear Splinter’s weaken cry echo through the room, making Mikey’s heart rip in half. “I-I’m sorry, Sensei. But this time, I’m gonna protect you.”

 

_I’m gonna show them-! I’m not a liability!_

 

Pulling out his nunchucks, he rushed himself toward the front of the lair. He could feel his heart pounding. _Think, Mikey, think! Got to lead them out of here somehow! H-How did they even find the lair here?! I got to get them out of-!_

The door busted open as a dozen Foot ninja came running in. Mikey bit his lip as he snickered to the ninja, “HEY! The party ain’t here, dudes! You want the real deal?! Follow me!” Swinging his nunchucks at the first few around him, he ran back out into the sewers. Hearing the footsteps echo behind him, he turned his head, counting the Foot members. _Yes! Got all of them on my tail! Now…lead them off somewhere!_

Footsteps echoed loudly behind him as Mikey pushed himself to run faster. _Why are they even here in the first place?! And why aren’t they attacking?!_ The footsteps began grow lower and lower until Mikey only heard his own splashing against the sewer water. Catching his breath, he looked behind him and found them all standing together in one line.

 

Smiling, he gripped his stance and in between breaths, chuckled, “Done chasing? Want an actual fight?!”

 

The foot remained still, eerily still for Mikey’s liking. Why weren’t they going after him? Was this just a distraction to get Splinter? _No, he’s safe. There’s no way! I-I saw!_

 

Suddenly, the dozen made a leap toward Michelangelo, their weapons bare and aimed right for the youngest turtle. “Oh, shit!” Taking a few steps back, he gained as much adrenaline as he could before leaping in attack.

 

Swinging his ‘chucks, he managed to hit about four of them unconscious. Mikey shrieked as he felt a sai slash down his right arm, accompanied by a kick in his gut sending him flying face first into the sewer water. Jumping onto his feet, he suddenly found himself pinned back against the water. “Get off!” Kicking the Foot straight in the gut, the sound of a metal plate echoed in the sewers. “W-What the hell?!”

 

The Foot grasped Mikey’s arm tightly as he took out his sword and pierced it through his shoulder. Crying out in pain, Mikey gripped the sword’s blade as he tried to remove it from his shoulder.

 

Before he could scream any louder, the Foot squeezed this throat tightly. A unemotional, almost robotic, voice demanded, “Where. Is. Leonardo?”

 

“N-No!” He frantically tried to release himself from the Foot’s hard, cold, grip.

 

“Come. Others. Coming.” The Foot clenching Mikey quickly pulled out his sword and rushed out along with the others. Leaving the youngest left in tremendous pain and confusion.

 

_W-What just happened? Why were they talking so weird…And when I kicked that Foot, he was hard as a rock! Maybe they aren’t Foot- AGH!_ Putting pressure on his shoulder, he struggled to stand. “G-Gotta head back to the lair…Got to make sure Sensei is okay…” Dragging his numb body down the sewer tunnels, he fought the urge to collapse. For what seemed like ages, Mikey found his exhausted body complying with his preservation to push through to the lair. Voices echoed down the tunnels as he got closer and closer to the entrance…

 

“Maser Splinter! S-Sensei! Answer me!”

 

“Great thinkin’, Don! Making a lock that can only unlock on the inside, what were yer thinkin’?!”

 

“Don, there has to be a way for you to get access in there!”

 

“G-Guys shut up! I’m trying! I didn’t intend for this to happen! I-I don’t know how Sensei managed to lock himself in there! I didn’t tell anybody about the lock!”

 

“Master Splinter! Mikey! Open the door!”

 

_They think I’m with Splinter?...WAIT- HE’S STUCK IN THERE?!_ Struggling through the entrance, Mikey gasped at the sight in front of him. The whole living room was wrecked, everything turned upside down, as if someone was desperately searching for something specific. _I-I was sure that they all followed me…_

 

“Leo, what If Sensei’s really hurt in there! T-T-This is all my fault, I should have prepared for this, I-It was just a test run I didn’t think this could-!” The door made a low click noise as Donnie smiled and quickly opened the door, “S-SENSEI!”

 

Splinter was sleeping soundly in his bed, or so it seemed. But to the doctor of the house, something just seemed out of place. Donnie rushed to his father’s side along with Leo and Raph and began checking his father. “He must have fainted, his pulse is normal but he does seem a bit feverish.”

“How did Sensei manage to get up and lock the door? And where’s Mikey?” Raph asked, searching the lab for the youngest.

 

“You and Raph look for him, I’ll-.”

 

“Sorry ‘m late…” Mikey smirked slightly before collapsing on his knees.

 

“Mikey!” The brothers cried as they rushed to their youngest. Donnie was the first to notice the amount of blood flowing down his brother’s arm and the gaping hole in his shoulder. “Raph, clear my desk! Leo, I’m gonna need either you or Raph’s blood in a bit! Mikey’s loosing a lot!”

 

Ever since his mutation months ago, Donnie knew that mixing his blood with any of his brothers could get them sick, and he didn’t need another sick family member in the house. Lifting his brother onto the desk, he used his mask to stop the blood flow from his shoulder. “Mikey, you’re gonna be okay. But you got to tell me what happened-.”

 

“Master Splinter is critically sick, how could you just leave him **_alone_**?!” Leo’s holler made even Raph jump at the sudden rashness that sprang from Leo’s tone. Standing next to his youngest, Leo continued his interrogation, “What were you thinking- locking him in here all by himself! You should have stayed in here with him and waited for us to come back! How could you be so reckless?!”

 

“I was trying to protect him!” Sitting up, Mikey ignored Donnie’s pleas to lay down. Getting face to face with his oldest, Mikey couldn’t fight the flow of tears that escaped his eyes. “I-I-I was just trying to protect him! I knew he’d be safe in here-!”

 

“And going out there, alone, putting yourself at risk is **_protecting_** him?!” Leo howled back. “What if they got in here?! You could have gotten yourself killed and put Sensei in danger!”

 

Raphael stood beside his oldest brother awkwardly. Never has Leo been this reprimanding on Mikey, usually he’s on Mikey’s end. Feeling for his youngest, he hesitantly place his hand on his shoulder. “Leo, chill.”

 

“I-I was just trying to protect him!” Mikey screamed louder, sobbing in between his breaths. “I-I thought he’d be safe! H-He said he was fine! I-I was just protecting him! I-I’m sorry, Leo! I tried…!”

 

“That’s enough!” Donnie shouted, stepping between his brothers. “Mikey, I need you to calm down you’re increasing your blood pressure and straining yourself. Leo, I need you to leave. I need to work in peace-.” Before he could finish his sentence, Leo rushed out of the room, heading for the dojo he slammed the doors shut.

 

Mikey fought the urge to cry anymore as he lowered his head to his knees and continued to cry. Raphael looked up at Donatello helplessly, not sure what either of them should do about the situation.

 

“It’s going to be okay, Mikey.” Donnie rubbed the back of Mikey’s shell as he simultaneously tried to patch up his youngest. “Sh, I’m here, it’s going to be okay…Raph, go check on Leo. I got Mikey and Splinter.”

 

Mikey continued to sob until the sedative Donnie gave him made him pass out. Conflicting emotions bottling up inside him ever so tightly…wondering if any of his brothers would understand…

 

/./././././././././././


	3. Chapter 3 // "Birds of a Feather"

/./././././././././././

 

_STUPID. STUPID. STUPID!_ Pounding each emotion into the punching bag, Leo now knew why Raph loved to take it out on this. This wasn’t like him- no, this **wasn’t** him. He had to be perfect, he just had to be the one figure that his brothers would look up to. How could he be so careless- letting a distraction pass by him?

 

Now Master Splinter…

 

_“My son, whatever comes upon me. You must promise me you will be strong, Leonardo.”_

_“No! Please, Sensei, don’t! Please, you’re going to be okay! Don’t ask me to do your job, Master. I’m not ready- I can’t!”_

_“Leonardo, my brave, brave son. Have faith my son, just as your brothers and I have faith in you…”_

 

“Leo,” Raph slowly made his way to his brother, unsure of how to approach his new hot-headed leader. He felt weird approaching his oldest brother, usually it was Leo who’d be the one to clear his head. _Heh, well, he attempts before it turns into a fistfight but still-._ “Look…we all make mistakes, ‘kay? We all screwed up, so stop beatin’ yerself up over this, Fearless. Donnie and Mikey need ya-.”

 

“I don’t need a pep talk, Raph.” Leo rubbed his eyes quickly before sending another punch at the bag. “Let alone from you.” Leonardo felt the sting of his own words, but hell he just couldn’t hold it on anymore. He couldn’t dare look into Raphael’s eyes, he couldn’t see the look he was giving. _I failed Sensei. I failed Mikey…Now Raph._

 

That was it for Raphael. A deep part of him felt that he should let his brother talk about his feelings. _But, damn it!_ His teeth clenched together, biting back his tongue. Leonardo is supposed to be the level headed one. He shouldn’t be acting this way- he **can’t** be acting this way. Not when everything was turning to hell.

 

Gripping his punching bag tightly he shoved it with all his strength sending Leonardo falling onto his back. Before Leo could protest, Raphael pounced on top of him and held his arms down. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You’ve been a dick to everyone lately, especially Mikey. What’s your deal?”

 

“Let. Me. Go!” Leonardo thundered, attempting to escape his brother’s firm grip. Kicking his brother in his knee, Leo took full advantage of the situation. As Raphael grimaced in pain, Leo crawled away from his brother and jumped back on his feet.

 

Leonardo trembled at the sight of his brother’s struggle. His heart ached with guilt. He couldn’t have hurt his brother- no- he was the protector. He **can’t** do that. Quaking, Leo’s voice stuttered as he muttered, “J-Just leave me alone, Raph. For once, do me a favor and just go. Please…”

 

Raphael growled as he slowly recovered from the attack. Since when did Leo get so fierce at him? Hell, he’s never seen his brother look as weak as he did now. _Jesus, what stick is up everyone’s ass?_ “Obviously yer shouldn’t be left alone if yer are beating the non-livin’ shit out of **my** punchin’ bag, and myself for that matter.”

 

“Raph,” Leonardo warned as he continued to strike the bag. “please, Raph.”

 

“Just give me a fuckin’ good excuse and yer can be all emo with my bag all yer want.”

 

“It’s Sensei!” Leo exploded, finally collapsing on his knees. Leonardo choked on a sob as he gripped the bag tightly. “H-He’s not gonna make it, Raph.”

 

Raphael was taken back at his brother. Master Splinter? Not going to make it? Impossible. Sure, Sensei has gotten older through the years and wasn’t as young as he used to be- but how could Leo just jump to conclusions like that? Shaking his head, Raphael barked, “Don’t say shit like that! It’s just a goddamn cold, he’ll be fine.”

 

“He’s not! It’s the truth!” He hollered back, now facing his brother. Tears brined the edges of his eyes as he held is breath, knowing if he would, he would break. He cleared his throat, his voice still small, and spoke, “Raph…He told me himself.”

 

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Raph said firmly. Carefully treading toward his brother, he unfolded his arms and stood a few feet away from Leonardo. Sighing, he carefully sat himself next to Leo. “Sensei’s strong. Donnie is gonna fix him up. And,” Raphael added with a smirk. “Yer don’t have’ta take the burden alone yer know, Fearless. So stop beatin’ yer ‘self up like a jerk-off won’t, ya?”

 

Leonardo, acknowledging his brother’s attempt at being loving, smiled as he patted his brother’s shoulder. “Thanks, Raph. I’m sorry for being a…uh, what did you call me again?”

 

“A dick.”

“Heh,” Leo chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Right. I just, Sensei being so ill lately I’m just worried, you know? And Donnie has been so stressed lately he’s gonna get sick too, you’ve been…”

 

“I’ve been what?!”

 

“Well…Good!”

 

Raphael raised his eyebrow as he crossed his arms. Leonardo smiled nervously, as he got up on his feet. “R-Raph! I meant that in a good way! You haven’t been going topside at night like I said and-!”

 

Silence.

 

“Raph.”

 

“What.”

 

“You’ve been going topside haven’t you.”

 

“Course’ not, Fearless Leader. I wouldn’t dare.”

 

Silence.

 

Rolling his eyes, Leonardo sighed, “Right. Of course you haven’t.”

 

“Besides,” Raphael added as he got up and began making his way out of the dojo. “You should be apologizing to Mikey too.” Making sure his brother got his message, Raphael turned around. Leo was standing exactly where he was, his eyes glued to the ground. “Yer did get ‘little harsh on the bone-head.”

 

“Yeah…” Leonardo hesitated, shaking his head away from his thoughts. “You’re right, Raph. I’ll talk to him.” Waiting until his brother left the dojo, Leonardo returned to the punching bag. Hoping with a few more strikes, all his worries will go away.

 

He can only hope.

 

/./././././././././././././

 

“Please be okay.” Donatello whispered as he placed the cold cloth on Splinter’s forehead. Doubling checking his temperature, Don haste to jot down his new symptoms. _Not as hot as before, but still warmer than usual. His hands are still pretty cold, gotta warm them up somehow. His pulse rate is about normal, considering his current state._ Tucking his sheets once again, Donnie forced a smile as he looked back at his father once again. _I swear, Sensei. I’m going to get you better. Like every other time._

“D-Don?” Feeling the weight of his body begin to hit him, Michelangelo slowly sat himself up in the cot. His eyes adjusting to the room, he found his older brother at his laptop (as per usual these past few days) sitting beside Sensei as he rested in the bed. Donatello picked his head up, then suddenly put his laptop aside as he rushed to Mikey.

 

“Mikey!” Donnie chimed as he rushed over to his side. “You’ve been out for a couple of hours, how are you feeling? Any better?”

 

Rubbing his head he yawned before answering, “Yeah, my shoulder still kinda hurts but I’ll be okay…” His eyes wandered over to his still father, who slept peacefully across the room. Mikey bit his lip as he held his sheets tighter as he pulled them closer to him, his voice shaking, “I-Is Sensei going to be okay…?”

 

Looking over at Master Splinter, then back to his brother, Donatello smiled. “Of course, Mikey. Just give him some time. He’ll be okay soon.” Mikey smiled at his brother’s words. Surely if it came out of Donnie’s mouth, it’s just has to be factual. Even growing up, if Don would tell him that it does in fact rain cats and dogs, Mikey believed him in a second. After all, why would he doubt his smartest brother?

 

“That’s good,” Watching his brother make his way back to work, Mikey swung his legs over and slowly hopped off the bed. “I’m just going to-.”

 

“Don’t strain that shoulder of yours.” Donnie called from his work desk, his eyes focused on his laptop. “No heavy lifting or pressure on it for too long, got it?”

 

“I hear ya, doc.” Making his way out of the lab, he hesitantly looked around the lair. He noticed that no one has gotten around yet to cleaning up the mess that the Foot have left. The furniture was turned upside, papers that were around the table were scattered everywhere, cabinets were opened wide. _If Master Splinter saw this mess, he’d punish us forever!_

 

Michelangelo tip-toed his way around the lair, the destruction of his home finally kicking in. This was his fault. _Why were they here? What were they looking for? Why were the Foot so…Robotic? Why did one of them ask for Leo?_

 

“Hey.”

 

Jumping to the new voice, Mikey turned around and bit his lip at the sight of his brother. Looking like he just fought off a whole Foot army, he looked defeated and troubled. Nervously looking away, Mikey gulped, “L-Leo! Hi…”

 

Leonardo, standing closer to his brother, locked his eyes on his youngest brother. His voice was more quieter than usual, he muttered, “How’s your shoulder?”

 

“Fine.” Mikey cleared his throat and awkwardly took a few steps further way from his brother. Leo watched his brother’s movements, guilt kicking in. _No wonder he doesn’t wanna be near me. I was…harsh._

“Mike, can we talk, please?”

 

“We are talking, dude.”

 

“Can you come here, then?”

 

“I’m right here.”

 

“Mike,” Though his voice was softer, it still stung with annoyance as he raised his eyebrow. “Okay, then. Look, I’m sorry for being…hard on you. What happened with Splinter wasn’t entirely your fault.”

 

Mikey rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he huffed. He knew his brother would some-what still blame him for screwing up. He felt both unmoved by his brother’s words, and yet still betrayed. He knew that he nearly got himself and Splinter killed, but hearing Leo say it- still hurt like hell.

 

He remembered when they were younger; Leo was very motherly over him. Whenever he’d got hurt while playing with Raph, he’ll let Donnie fix him up but then cry to Leo about it. And he’d just let Mikey hug him. Raph would have just shoved him off and Donnie would have just stood there awkwardly, unsure of how to react to the affection. Leonardo made Mikey feel both safe and loved.

 

Looking at his oldest brother now, Mikey grimaced as he glued his eyes to the floor. “I know…”

 

Leonardo frowned; Mikey never shut him out this much before. Hell, Mikey would be the one to open up to him most easily. Usually with Raph he’d have to beat it out of him, and with Donnie he’d have to insist for his brother to confess. Mikey- being so free spirited- didn’t take too long for him to open up. What is holding his baby brother back this time?

 

A small smile stretched across his face as he slowly place his hand on his brother’s shoulder, “Thinking of yourself before Master Splinter was very strong of you. It was brave what you did.” His smile faded, his voice gaining it’s strength back. “And reckless, and dangerous, and idiotic-!”

 

“I get it!” Mikey pouted as he wiggled his way out of his brother’s reach. Crossing his good arm over his other, he knew in order to get Leo off his back- he’d have to fake it. _Let’s hope my charm still works on em’!_ Smiling as best he could, he laughed, “Hello! You’re talking to the Battle Nexus Champion! I know what I’m doin’!”

 

“Of course you are…” Leonardo rolled his eyes. _Am I ever going to get through that head of his?_ Figuring he wasn’t going to get any further with his youngest, he simply ruffled his head. Following with a light smack.

 

“OW!” Mikey cried dramatically, rubbing the back of his head. “What the hell was that for? Leonardo smirked as he made his way into Donnie’s lab.

 

“Wait!” Mikey cried out. He had to tell Leo about his encounter with the Foot. He had to tell him how they were not normal! He had to tell him…that they were asking for him! _Leo could be in danger! Shell, how did I completely forget about that?!_ Pacing himself back into Donnie’s lab, he grabbed the door handle to open the door. As he turned the doorknob, he heard his brother’s voices…

 

“How is he doing, Donnie?”

 

“Better, but he’s not out of the woods yet. His fever is steadily declining, pulse is slowly getting back to normal-.”

 

“That’s all good things! See, Donnie? I knew he was going to be-!”

 

“Leo…He has pneumonia. He’s going to need a lot more time then his body is giving him.”

 

_Pneumonia?_ Mikey leaned as much closer to the door as his body would let him. He remembered when Raph caught pneumonia when they were five. It was bad, real bad. Memories of the fear of loosing his brother still stuck in the back of his memory. Why didn’t his brothers tell him about Splinter being that sick? _I thought he had just a cold! That’s what Sensei said…!_

 

“What do you mean, ‘more time then his body his giving him’?”

 

There were a few moments where no one spoke. Only hearing his heartbeat echo in his hears, his curiosity begging him to open the door and find out himself what is going on. Finally, a voice breaks through to save him from his own insanity!

 

“Yer do know yer can just open the door, right?”

 

_CRAP- IT’S RAPH!_ Clasping his hands over his mouth, attempting to hold back a scream, Mikey jumped a few feet away from the door- bumping into Raph in the process. “Dude,” Mikey whispered, puling Raph away from the door. “I’m in the middle of eavesdropping on a very important conversation!”

 

“I couldn’t tell.” Raphael muttered sarcastically, shaking Mikey’s grasp off of his shoulder. Noticing the bandaged cloth wrap about his shoulder, he asked, “Don’t yer need to be in a bed or somethin’?”

 

“Na, it’s just a scratch!”

 

Raphael hated to admit it, but Mikey always did have a soft spot in him. Mikey would be the one he’d turn to fight the monsters that were in his closets, the one chase away the bad dreams, the one to protect him. He’d never admit it out loud, of course, but he felt partially responsible for Michelangelo’s injury. Crossing his arms, Raph eyed his youngest brother’s mannerism. “Sure don’t look like it. What the hell happened, anyway?”

 

“Uh…” Mikey sighed, looking back down at the floor. “It was the Foot. But it wasn’t the Foot-!”

 

“What do you mean?” Leonardo asked as he and Donatello emerged from the lab and joined their brothers.

 

_Greaaat. Now I gotta tell everyone how I screwed up. Yay._ “Well…There were about a dozen Foot, right? Uh. They attacked me but…I kept on taunting them like usual and they didn’t react normally- thinking about it- they didn’t even budge! When I kicked one of them, they didn’t even wince or fall back or nothing! And it was hard! Like- they were made of metal or something! And one of them got me down and asked me where Leo was. Then they just left like that-! It was weird…!”

 

“But, what was the point of sabotaging the lair? Hell, how did they even find the lair in the first place?” Donatello inquired, looking at each of his brothers. “If the Foot know where we are now-.”

 

“Dude, that’s exactly my point!” Michelangelo exclaimed, waving his hands frantically. Attempting to get his brothers attention, he cried, “I don’t think the guys that attacked me were Foot. They looked like them, but their voices were robotic and their fighting stances were not like the Foot we normally fight!”

 

Evaluating the destruction of their home, Donatello questioned, “Robotic Foot ninja? Why would somebody put the effort into making us believe that the Foot were attacking us?”

 

“I’m more concerned at the fact that someone knew where the lair was.” Leonardo looked over at each of his brothers. “Are you **sure** none of you were followed back here?”

 

“Positive. I take a different route home every time I meet up with April.” Don stated confidently.

 

“How would I know? I don’t go out on my own.” Raphael answered innocently, a smug smile still showing.

 

Glaring at his brother, Leonardo crossed his arms and warned, “Raph.”

 

Chuckling, he shook his head and replied, “No. I don’t. Same story as Don’s.”

 

All three turtles gave looks to Michelangelo, who was now looking down at the floor. He could feel the eyes of his brother fixed on him, each of them expecting the similar answer. Humming any tune he could think of, Mikey shuffled his feet hoping that maybe- just maybe- they would just skip over him. Sure, he checked that he didn’t spot anyone following him when he picked up pizza. _Er- except that ONE time when I thought I heard someone…But that was like- WEEKS ago! Surely it wasn’t me…It wasn’t! No!_

“It wasn’t me!” Mikey exclaimed, hoping his “puppy” eyes would tug at least one of his brothers’ heartstrings. “H-Honest!”

 

Leonardo, knowing that he wasn’t going to get a straight answer, rolled his eyes and sighed. “Nonetheless someone followed one of us. Raph, help me clean up the living room. Whatever they were looking for it had to be in here. Don, see if you can look at the surveillance videos from the attack. Also update the security perimeters, we don’t want another incident like this to happen.”

 

Raph and Don nodded at their orders and got to work. Mikey looked up at his oldest brother helplessly. He could tell that Leo was still ticked off at him, praying that Leo would leave him out of something- _yet again!_ Crossing his arms, Leonardo spoke, “Mikey. Just rest up, okay? You look tired.”

 

_And strike two. That’s twice in one day Leo shoved me under the buss and have it run over me three times in a row._ Not wanting to start yet another argument with his brother, he simply nodded and headed straight for his room. Closing the door behind him, he drag himself back into his bed.

 

Not even a few hours ago, he was lying in the same bed. Thoughts about the day’s events began to pour back onto him. He couldn’t help but feel the pain strike him once again. _Why didn’t my brothers’ believe me? Hell, they just threw my ideas completely aside like I was crazy or something._

And for once, he started to believe it.

 

/././././././././././././././

 

Rummaging through the devastation of their home, Raphael fixed the furniture as Leonardo went through the scattered papers on the floor. It varied from Donnie’s research on quantum physics, to Splinter’s crossword puzzles, Raph’s TV Guide for Wrestling, old newspapers from days ago, and of course one of Mikey’s pizza boxes.

 

“Are we this messy?” Leonardo asked out loud to himself, putting aside the important papers and the garbage. “Shell, I thought we left this place semi-clean…”

 

“April usually does it for us.” Raph commented, lifting the lounge chair and putting it back in it’s place. “Wonder what the Foot were lookin’ for anyway.”

 

“I wish I knew.” A small light flashed in the corner of his eye, making Leonardo jump over to the source. Inside the pizza box, sat a small silver chip, blinking red every few seconds. “Raph!”

 

Raphael rushed to his side and examined the small device. “What the fuck is that?”

 

“I have no idea. It could be a tracking device, voice-recording device…what’s this doing in Mikey’s pizza box in the first place?” Carefully removing the device from the box, he gently placed it at the palm of his hand. “Better show Donnie.” Pacing himself to Don’s lab, he abruptly opened the door and placed the device in front of his brother. “Found this in one of Mikey’s pizza boxes can you figure out what it is?”

 

“Hm…” Examining the tiny device, Donatello swipped it under his microscope and took a few moments to inspect it. Then carefully prying it open, he said, “From what I can tell, it’s definitely not a bomb so that’s good. I don’t see any microphones or anything like that so…And I don’t see a tracking device either.”

 

“What else can it be, then?” Leonardo inquired, his voice full with worry. “Why put it there in the first place?”

 

“It looks more like a…almost like a MP3 player, like there’s something to listen to inside of it but I can’t bypass it. I’ll have to work on it. But, from what I can tell, there’s some kind of recording on here.”

 

“Why would someone put a recording on it that makes you hack into it to listen to it?”

 

“And it was inside the pizza box,” Raphael added, standing beside Donatello. “How could have Mikey ate the pizza and **not** notice it? He’s pretty observant at this kinda stuff…”

 

“As soon as I hack into it, I’ll let you both know.”

 

Leonardo worriedly looked at both his younger brothers. Splitner’s ill. The Foot attacked the lair. A weird device left for him to figure out. What else can go wrong?

 

Oh, how he knew that deep down, he’ll find out soon enough.

/./././././././././././././././

 

_Yes. Yes. Yes. It’s all falling into place now. Soon enough, they will all be mine._ Smiling proudly at his accomplishments, John Bishop leaned back in his leather chair and took a sip of his whiskey. Like was good. His creation was near complete, he set the clues for the turtles, and hell, his best soldiers even confirmed a blood sample- this was a good evening indeed.

 

“Sir, we’ve recovered the blood sample as you wished.”

 

Smiling at the news, he leaned in closer to the intercom and spoke, “Very good. Process with phase delta.”

 

“B-But sir,” The monotone voice insisted, “T-The…creation is not ready yet. We have to fix the minor details. He is not ready yet.”

 

“Then I suggest you get to it.” Shutting the communication off, Bishop took another sip out of his glass. Yes. He will finally get what he always wanted.

 

The satisfaction of getting research on the turtles that he longed for…

 

And the anticipation of what is to come…

 

Oh, how he loved test subjects that could talk.

 

With a voice, comes a scream.

 

_Oh yes, there will be plenty of those._

/./././././././././././././


	4. Chapter 4 // "Hallucinations"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michelangelo begins to fall victim to a strange illness, finding himself losing more of himself as the minutes pass...

/./././././././././././././

 

_Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out._

Leonardo anxiously waited on Splinter’s bedside. Hoping that maybe for a moment, his ill father could awaken with words of wisdom for him. Maybe he’d know how to handle this situation. Hell, if Master Splinter were here, he’d be able to fix everything before it escalated to what it was now. Looking over to his brother, Donatello still hovered over that small device that he had discovered earlier. He could see his second youngest brother’s eyes grow heavier and heavier with every blink.

 

_Donnie, won’t you ever cut yourself some slack?_ Getting on his feet, Leonardo walked over to Don. Leaning on his brother’s shoulders with both his hands, he gave him a gentle shake. “Don, it’s getting late. We’ve had a long day. You can look at that in the morning, right?”

 

Turning his head slightly enough so that Leo could see a smile, he remarked, “I’ve still got my coffee, a ton of tests to run, and fixing up the living room.”

 

“Don, don’t start.” Leonardo insisted, making his way back to Splinter. “I’ll sleep with Sensei tonight. You need to sleep, even if it’s a couple of hours.” Before Don could protest, Leonardo faced his brother once more, “Please. For me.”

 

Sighing, Donatello hesitantly rose from his seat. At a completely loss for words, he rubbed the back of his head as he nodded slowly. “Okay, Leo. B-But if anything changes, you tell me okay?”

 

“Of course, Donnie. I got this.”

 

Waiting until his little brother was no longer in the room, he mumbled a prayer, gripped his father’s hand, and watched him sleep peacefully.

 

/./././././././././././././

 

He found himself back where he started the day. Legs spread out across his ruffled sheets; one arm resting behind his head while the other lay limp across his chest. Staring blankly at his ceiling, he traced his fingers over his stitched up arm. Worse has happened to his arm, let alone his legs when the Shredder broke them both.

 

A small smile formed at the corner of his lips; just how did things turn so badly in just one day? He woke up, excited to start morning training with everyone. Now, he’s (attempting to) falling asleep at nearly 9:30PM, beaten and bruised in more ways than one.

 

_Fuck._ Michelangelo hissed as tears began to prickle the corner of his eyes. He hated this. He hated wallowing in his own sensations. He wondered what would be of his brothers without him. Maybe Leo would actually be able to complete that katana he’s always working on. Maybe Raph’s temper would be more in control. Maybe Donnie wouldn’t have to fix almost everything in the house.

 

Maybe everyone would just be…better off without him.

 

Reaching under his bed, he reached for his journal. Gently whipping the dust off of his precious dairy, he began flipping through the pages. Sketches he had done over the years poured all old memories back in him. It started with simple stick figures, and then advanced to full profiles. His brothers knew he drew but never would he, nor would he dare, show his drawings to anyone. His last sketches were a few months ago, attempting to get full profiles of each of his brothers. It wasn’t too hard, considering when each of them is stuck on a task, he is in it both mind and body.

 

Leo was both the easiest, and most difficult to capture. Mikey would sneak into the dojo after training and sketch him meditating. Leo would be completely still, giving Mikey the full advantage of catching his brother in his best state. The oldest would question his brother, and at times, insisting on seeing what he was doodling. But Mikey knew how to change subjects quickly, or draw his attention elsewhere. Raph, on the other hand, was never still nor silent enough for Mikey to draw. Always on the move, verbal with every attack he gave. Donnie, similar to his oldest brothers, he was silent but always moving. As an artist, Mikey knew exactly how he wanted to capture each of his brothers.

 

Looking at it now, he was pretty proud of each of his sketches. Even though his sketches were mere pencil drawings, you were still able to tell the difference between each of his brothers by one defining quality- their eyes. Leonardo’s, though closed during his mediation, were drawn with ease. Gently guiding the pencil over his strong stare. Raphael’s were dark, yet drawn with careful guidance. Capturing his second oldest with his passionate yet firm eyes as he fought. Donatello, a mixture of both Leonardo and Raphael’s features, yet had the most gentle touch fixated on his eyes. Attempting to sketch his brother’s gentle compassion, but never-ending mind at work.

 

Turning the page, he noticed that he once attempting to do himself.

It was blank.

 

Ripping the piece of paper into complete shreds, Michelangelo clenched his sketch notebook tightly. All three of his brothers- so strong, so brave, so much better without him-.

_Worthless…_

_Pitiful…_

_Unwanted…_

With every inch of his being, he heaved his precious journal across his room. The small little book met his mirror, causing both his reflection and his pages to scatter everywhere. Plummeting to the ground with a loud crashing uproar.

 

“Mikey?”

“Michelangelo?!”

“Mike!”

 

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_ He couldn’t let his brothers see him like this. His mind ran the fastest he thought he could think-

 

But what could he do? What **should** he do?

 

Run away? Yes, that could work. Running would definitely clear his head, and being away from everything for a little while could work. But, his brothers would just be irritated at the fact that he ran. He couldn’t do that to them, and Master Splinter. They all are way too stressed out to deal with that.

 

“Mikey! What’s going on?!”

“Yo, yer alright up there?”

“Michelangelo! What happened?!”

 

Could he tell them? Yes, that too could work. Master Splinter did tell him to express his feelings to his brothers. Instead of keeping it bottled inside, he could simply talk about what he’s been feeling lately. Who knows? Maybe they too will open up to him.

 

_Wate…_

_Nothing…_

_Weak…_

No. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

 

“What the hell?!”

“The fuck happened in here?!”

“Michelangelo, what’s going on?!”

 

His heart raced, he couldn’t feel his fingers as he dug them deep into his sheets. His vision blurred as the voices around him grew, his brain screaming in agony as the voices raised louder and louder.

 

“Michelangelo! What’s wrong?!”

“The fuck is wrong with ya!”

“Mikey, talk to me, what’s going on?!”

 

His mouth opened, but no words came out. _What the shell? I-I can hear them, but, wait, them? What are my brothers doing here? What am I even doing? I gotta run-talk-run-talk-!_

“Donnie, what the fuck is wrong with him?!”

“I think he’s having a panic attack- his pulse is racing-!”

“Michelangelo, look at me. Breathe. Just breathe, okay?”

 

_What?_ Focusing his eyes just hurt his head even more. He could see the silhouettes of each of his brothers. He felt firm hands racing down his arms and neck, thick hands held his shoulders firm, and a calm voice spoke to him.

 

“Make him snap outa it, Don!”

“I can’t make him ‘snap’ out of it! He’s hyperventilating, I can’t-!”

“Michelangelo, it’s just us! You’re okay, nothing is wrong-!”  

 

_“Yes, Michelangelo, nothing is wrong…”_

_W-WHAT?_ The blurred vision of his brothers morphed into a single body. The brightness surrounding the body grew brighter. Terrified of the apparitions his mind was playing him, Mikey quaked, “M-Master Splinter?”

 

“W-What’s wrong with him?!”

“M-Mikey! Look at me! Stay with me!”

“Mike! It’s me Le-!”

 

_“You are safe here. You are accepted here. Everything is alright.”_

_I know that voice…Where are those voices coming from-? Where are my brothers? Where am I-?_

Shutting his eyes tight, Michelangelo desperately tried to block the voices and images surrounding him. Pleading for the voices to stop, he could feel the warm tears stream down his face. His vision grew blurrier, only able to outline the color of each of his brother’s bandanas.

 

“Mike, come on, talk to us-!”

“Mikey! Say something!”

“Don-a-tel-o-! Help him!”

_“You are nothing but a liability.”_

He couldn’t handle it anymore. Shutting his eyes tight, clasping his hands against his head, he wailed at the top of his lungs. “STOP!”

 

Silence. Then suddenly, there were sirens. The cold brisk air wrapped around him, the chill of the evening air making him feel quite at home. His shell-cell ringing nonstop, wide open besides him, the small screen reading, ‘Raphael’. Darkness surrounded him. Rubbing his eyes, Michelangelo gasped, loss for words as he took in his surroundings.

 

He was, on the rooftop? _How the hell did_ _I get here?_ Slowly raising himself up to an upright position, he did a quick check over himself. Besides his already bandaged shoulder, he seemed okay.

 

Grabbing his shell-cell, he started at the small screen…

_12:30 AM_

_FIVE MISSED CALLS FROM DONATELLO._

_SEVEN MISSED CALLS FROM LEONARDO._

_EIGHT MISSED CALLS FROM RAPHAEL._

_6 VOICEMAILS._

_3 TEXT MESSAGES._

_What the…fuck? I-I was out for three hours…?_

 

“Yeah, Leo, I found him! Get over here!...MIKEY-!” Raphael’s voice belted, it sounded near him. Feeling the ends of his bandana tail being pulled, Mikey fell back onto his shell and looked up at the face of his hot-headed older brother. Raphael, now on one knee, glared daggers at his brother. “What did ya think you were doing-?!”

 

Raphael was visibly angry, more so than usual. His brother was still catching his breath as Michelangelo noticed his eyes, though stern, seemed filled with…worry? Shaken, Michelangelo stuttered, putting the pieces together in his mind. “W-What am I doing here-? I was in my room! I-!”

 

“Ran off like crazy-!” Helping his brother back on his feet, Raphael gave his little brother a skeptical look. Mikey was visibly shaken, his eyes wide like a child lost in a store. A part of Raph guilty. _But, fuck! What the fuck?!_ “We were trying to calm you down and you bolted outta the lair-! What the fuck freaked you out so much?”

 

“What?” Mikey blinked. “I was just trying to sleep and…How did I get here-?”

 

“Don’t play dumb!” Raphael couldn’t help himself as he gave his brother a light shove. “Ya scared us half to death-! Ya looked like ya saw and ghost or somethin’! Why did ya go off like that, huh?”

 

“I-I really don’t know, Raph.” Mikey confessed, looking down on the paved ground. “I-I don’t remember how I got here, honest! I-I remember breaking something and then…nothing!”

 

The footsteps of Leonardo could be heard jogging over toward his brothers. Mikey could see the fire in Leo’s eyes—usually meaning that he was worried and/or about to explode. Standing besides Raphael, Leonardo couldn’t help but feel flustered as he watched Mikey squirm at the touch of his brother. Looking around at his brothers, Michelangelo trembled as he spoke, “I’m fine, okay? I blacked out or something…T-The last thing I remembered was being in my room, I thought I heard you guys talking to me a-and then nothing!” Facing Leo, he was visibly shaken at his own tale. “D-Donnie? You believe me dontca? W-What’s wrong with me?”

 

“You can’t tell me you remember **nothing** -?” Leonardo echoed, his tone mixed with worry and frustration. “You ran off and went MIA for hours, Mikey, **hours**! Raph and I ran around the whole city chasing behind you!” Leonardo bit his lip. Mikey was now standing between him and Raph, his eyes filled with fear as he looked over at his brothers. The same eyes that used to look up at him when Raph would tell him that there were monsters in the closet. He felt his gut sting with guilt, why couldn’t he just believe his baby brother? What made him suddenly question every movement he made? Gently placing his hand on his little brother’s good shoulder, he gave him a light squeeze as he said, “I’m just happy you’re okay. Are you hurt?”

 

Mikey shook at the sudden touch of his shoulder. Leo was giving a small smile, the same one that was both loving and filled with worry. The same Leo that would protect him, love him, and just…understand him. The pounding in his head thumped more and more as his mind dwelled deeper into the events of that night. His sudden explosion of emotions, his outburst, that fourth voice, his blackout—was he really going crazy? Tears prickled down his freckled face as he choked on his own sob. Lunging himself at his oldest brother, he fought the tears no longer. Gripping his arms around Leo’s plastron, just enough for his small arms to wrap around him, he sobbed.

 

Raphael grimaced at the sound of his baby brother’s sobs. He hated when Mikey, or any of his brothers would cry. Growing up, Mikey was usually the crier. But not like this—not when his brother’s crying wasn’t just simply whining. It was a hurtful cry- and whether he’ll admit it or not—that stung his heart.

 

Leonardo slowly, making sure he didn’t touch Mikey’s bandaged shoulder, wrapped his arms around his brother. Rubbing his shell, Leo muttered, “Sh, it’s okay. You’re okay now, I’m here.” He didn’t know what the shell was going on with his brother, or his father, or the rest of his family, or Master Splinter…

 

But he’ll be damned if he didn’t figure it out.

 

/./././././././././././././././

 

Donatello paced his lab, making his now thirtieth round. He rubbed his sweaty hands against his knees. Waiting was one of the worst parts of his job. Waiting to hear from his brothers about Mikey, waiting for Master Splinter to open his eyes…

 

_If he opens his eyes._ No. Shaking his head, he gave himself a mental slap across the head. He can’t think that way. Of course Master Splinter will awaken soon. Finally decided to let his pace be put to rest, he slumped himself in his desk chair as he wheeled himself back to his desk. He might as well be doing something useful while this brothers are gone. His shell-cell rested beside his paperwork, blinking multiple times. Flipping his phone open, he read a text message he got from Raph.

 

_“Found Mikey. Seems okay, ‘sides the shoulder. But he won’t stop crying or shakin’. We’ll get home ASAP. Be safe, bro.”_

Donatello let out a low, but worrisome, sigh. He was grateful that Mikey was okay- he always managed to find himself deep in trouble. Making Donnie, and the rest of his family worry about the youngest. Now more than ever.

 

_“That’s good. Is he okay? I will, don’t worry. You guys be safe too.”_

“My son?” Donatello was startled by the new voice, making him nearly fall out of his seat. Shooting his head up, his eyes opened wide. Slowly making himself sit up, Splinter’s eyes were half open. Rushing himself over to his father, he began checking over him. “S-Sensei! How are you feeling? We were so worried-!”

 

His voice was weak, dry, and scratchy. Gripping his second youngest’s hand tightly, his voice trembled, “Where is Michelangelo?”

 

“He’s…” Donatello hestitated for a moment. He couldn’t lie to his father, yet, if he knew that something could have been wrong with Mikey, it would just stress him further. Clearing his throat, he stumbled as he spoke. “He’s with Leo and Raph topside. Everything is under control, don’t worry, father.”

 

“I-I sense a great danger, my son. Please,” Master Splinter pleaded, his voice sounding more uneasy than earlier. “Please, Donatello. Y-You are all in danger.”

 

“We are okay, Sensei.” Donnie insisted, placing another cold cloth on his father’s head. “You just rest up so you can get back to training us, okay? Don’t get me wrong, Leo’s great and all! But, he’s no you, father.”

 

Donatello wasn’t sure if his father was just delusional from his sudden collapase..

 

But he knew one thing was for certain- that his father’s senses are usually spot on.

 

And that terrified him.

 

/././././././././././././././

 

“Sir, we cannot proceed as planned.”

 

Sipping his evening whiskey, Bishop waiting until the last drop was gone before shattering the glass on his desk. Time was of the essence, and everything was not going according to plan. Clenching his teeth together, he hissed, “What is it now, Jacob?”

 

“The blood sample did not match the physique of the terrapin. We have to change most of the exterior and some extra features that we aren’t even sure of. We are working as fast as we can, Agent Bishop, sir.”

 

“Everything is set up. I planned accordingly, Jacob. And you choose to wait until this very moment to tell me that we have to be delayed-?”

 

“The sooner we have the turtle you seek, the sooner we can get the project out.”

 

Grinning, he rose to his feet. Slipping on his long black trench coat, he began making his way out of his office. “Then let the game begin…”

 

/././././././././././././././././


	5. Chapter 5 // "Evaluation & Regroup"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following the recent events, Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello reflect on Michelangelo's behavior. Raphael reaches out to Michelangelo in hopes to ease his anxiety, learning something that could give the team the advantage they desperately need...

/././././././././././././././././

It took the pair of brothers a good half hour to calm their youngest brother and make their way down through the sewers. The entire walk echoed only mere water drops around the walls and the hallow breathing of Michelangelo.

 

Walking only a few feet ahead, Leonardo marched with pace toward the lair. Even though the walk itself wasn’t too far, Leo’s firm gait kept him far enough to be close to home. Keeping his pace up, he fixated his mind on the aim of getting home. Yet, he couldn’t help but let his mind compete. Just what exactly _is_ wrong with his brother? This wasn’t like his brother at all. Leonardo shook his head. He knew him better than this. Mikey is carefree, continuously has a smile on his face, very expressive about his feelings, and is constantly just…happy. This Mikey, the one a few feet behind him, wasn’t his brother. And that terrified Leo the most.

 

Not too far behind, Raphael strolled at an average pace. His hands fiddled with the edges of his sais as he lifted his head to watch Leo keep up with his own mission to the lair. Every now and then, Raphael glanced over his shoulder. Slightly turning his head, he heard the heavy steps of his little brother. A sting of guilt hit him hard. Sure, he wanted to make sure his brother wasn’t about to go insane and nearly run all the way to Jersey. Hell, he too wanted to beat the crap out of his idiotic brother for being so irrational. Nothing was making sense to Raphael, and he hated every minute of it.

 

Trotting in the back of the line, Michelangelo held his head up with whatever dignity he had left. After having a completely dramatic episode, Mikey had no idea how to even start with his brothers. He bit his lip as he watched his brothers. Raph would look back to him every now and then—Raph’s way of checking up on him. He’d give a small smile and wave, then Raph would turn back to the front. Leo, on the other hand, kept his head straight at all times. Maybe his big bro felt just the way he did. Maybe Leo couldn’t stand looking into his eyes, nor could he look at Leo.

 

Mikey couldn’t help but think back on what happened. Man, were Raph and Leo- _did I say Raph?-_ ticked at him. Shell, they had every right to be. Disappearing in the middle of the night, completely blacking out and apparently running around the city. _Just what the shell was that?_ The sudden blackout? That weird hallucination he had right before he woke up on the roof? What was happening to him?

 

Ahead, Mikey realized that Raph and Leo were already walking into the lair. He could hear footsteps followed by a frantic voice.

 

“Leo! Raph! Are you two okay?”

 

“Just dandy.”

 

“We’re fine. How is Master Splinter?”

 

“His body is responding to the antibiotics well. I think he’s actually starting to recover- uh, slowly of course but it’s responding so…” Michelangelo waited hesitantly outside the lair, his head slightly poking out watching his brothers converse. Raphael and Leonardo’s backs faced him as he watched Donatello, standing in-between Raph and Leo, shift himself between the two and smiled slightly at him. “Hey, Mikey. Looks like you’re in one piece.”

 

“Well,” Mikey shrugged sheepishly. “My insides can probably beg to differ. More specifically my arm.” Mike gave his arm a shrug as he peeled off whatever wrapping was left. Mikey beamed, a laugh escaping his smirk. “Geez, Donnie, you’ve never given crappy casts like these in forever, dude!”

 

Donnie was taken back at first at the sudden normality of his brother’s mood. Shell, didn’t he just have a mental breakdown and run out of the lair as if the Shredder himself was chasing after him? He blinked for a few moments. Michelangelo still smiled to him, gesturing his arm, waiting for him to respond. Don smiled back at him and rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry about that, Mikey. Geez, your head it hot. You have a fever or something? Okay, come on, I’ll fix that up for you.”

 

Leonardo glanced a confused look at Raphael. Now his brother was nearly completely fine? He wasn’t sure if he should feel joyous or confusion. He waited until the pair of younger brothers left the room to walk over to Raphael. Arms crossed, he lowered his voice as he spoke. “I’m worried about him. Did you see the way he acted toward us before?”

 

_Gently grasping Splinter’s hand, Leonardo mumbled an old prayer that he had taught himself. This prayer was Leonardo’s support, the one he always counted on to make things better. Like the time Raphael was flipped headfirst into a brick wall and was in a coma for three days. Or the time Donatello caught an awful case of pneumonia as kids._

_When he felt himself surrounded by the Elite._

_When he crashed into April’s roof._

_Seeing the complete terror, fear, in his brothers’ eyes._

_That prayer was his consolation._

_The lair cried with the shattering of glass from upstairs. He felt his muscles tense up at the sudden boom._

_“Mikey?”_

_“Mike!”_

_Leonardo stepped outside of Donnie’s lab. Looking up at the top of the stairs he too called out for his brother. “Michelangelo?”_

_Donatello held his coffee cup close to him as he too turned his head up to look at Michelangelo’s room. Raphael stepped out from the dojo, panting from his workout he glanced over at Don and Leo._

_“Mikey! What’s going on?”_

_“Yo, yer alright up there?”_

_Leonardo was the first to move. He carefully walked up the stairs and cautiously approached his door. “Michelangelo! What happened?”_

_He could hear Donatello and Raphael rush up behind him. Leo suspiciously turned his brother’s door handle and gently opened the door._

_He almost wish he didn’t. Almost._

_Sitting straight up in his bed, Michelangelo gripped his sheets tightly around his fingers. His eyes were open wide as he stared straight at the ground. Leonardo followed his brother’s eyes and saw his entire mirror was shattered. Glass now sprawled out on the floor._

_“What the hell?”_

_“What the fuck happened in here?”_

_Leonardo turned his head back to Mikey. He watched his brother gasp as he stared straight at him. Leo treaded around the glass as he tried to make his way closer to Mikey. His voice, as gentle as his panic could be, spoke, “Michelangelo, what’s going on?”_

_His baby brother began to shake. Leo watched as Mikey’s whole body trembled, his bright blue eyes getting wider and wider, his mouth slightly open as quick breaths came in and out. Sitting beside his brother’s side, Leonardo hesitantly reached for his brother’s hand. He tried to be calm, but Don and Raph were just as panicked as he was._

_“Michelangelo! What’s wrong?”_

_“The fuck is wrong with ya?”_

_He finally grasped his brother’s trembling hand and gently comforted his youngest, as best he could, “Mikey, talk to me, what’s going on?”_

_His mouth gaped open. Breaths only coming out. His eyes looked around the room in shock as continue to do this. Leo felt his brother’s grip get tighter around his hand._

_“Donnie, what the fuck is wrong with him?”_

_“I think he’s having a panic attack- his pulse is racing!”_

_Squeezing his baby brother’s hand, he gently stroked his hand. “Michelangelo, look at me. Breathe. Just breathe, okay?”_

_The pupils of Mikey’s eyes began to grow larger and larger. Leonardo felt the grip of his brother’s get tighter, and tighter- enough for Leo to cringe in pain._

_“Make him snap outa it, Don!”_

_“I can’t make him ‘snap’ out of it! He’s hyperventilating, I can’t-!”_

_Leo cut his brother off as he desperately squeezed his hand even tighter. “Michelangelo, it’s just us! You’re okay, nothing is wrong! You’re safe!”_

_“M-Master Splinter?”_

_Sensei? Why was his brother calling out for their father? His voice sounded so small, so weak, so desperate._

_“W-What’s wrong with him?!”_

_“M-Mikey! Look at me! Stay with me!”_

_Leo adjusted himself to sit directly in front of his brother. Using his other hand to lean on his brother’s shoulder. He gripped his hand, again, and his shoulder at the same time. “Mike! It’s me, Leo. You’re home with all of us, there is no danger. You’re here with me, Raph, and Donnie. Nothing is going to hurt you. But I need you to tell us what you’re seeing.”_

_His brother’s eyes were shut now as he began mumbling. Leo couldn’t quite make out what his brother was saying, but he felt more and more painful watching him suffer._

_“Mike, come on, talk to us!”_

_“Mikey, say something!”_

_“Donatello, you have to help him!” Right when Leo turned his head to face Don, Michelangelo cried out, “STOP!”_

_Right as he screamed, Leo jumped to his feet. Suddenly, Mikey shoved Leo with all his might into his dresser. Don, crying out to Leo, was shoved straight into Raph before he could even reach his oldest brother._

_“MIKEY!” Leo fought back onto his feet. His arm was bruised and he felt weak, but he knew he had to get up. “Follow him!”_

_It was at this moment that nothing else mattered to him. His priority was to go after Mikey—whatever it takes._

“I know,” Raph grumbled, once again fumbling with his sai. “I was there too, y’know. What do you expect us to do? We got no leads, Splinter is still sick, and Mike can snap any minute.” As much as he hated to admit it, Raphael was right. There were countless situations when all seemed lost, when it seemed they had nothing left to do but to wait. Wait for some kind of unexpected occurrence to show the way, some kind of crazy and dangerous way to get a content resolution.

 

This didn’t seem like another one of those days.

 

Leonardo already felt at a complete loss for words. His family was crumbling before him, watching his brothers and father suffer to the hands of the “turtle luck true to form”. _Now I’m quoting Raph, perfect._ Giving his brother a shove, Leonardo reassured him, “Let’s just give Donnie some space to figure out what that recording device was, or if it’s still active. In the meantime, we should probably do a damage report on Splinter and Mikey. I think you should talk to Mikey.”

 

“Me? Why me? He listens to you.”

 

“Exactly. He rather listen to me tell him what to do. He naturally opens up to you, when you don’t make him.”

 

“So you want me to just sit there until he vents his deepest darkest thoughts about why he’s been acting like a psychopath?”

 

Leo couldn’t help himself, letting a small smile slip. “More or less.”

 

“Wonderful.” Groaning and mumbling a few choices of curse words, Raphael marched his way to Michelangelo’s room. Leonardo pitied his brother- Raph does truly try. Deep, deep down he knew his hotheaded brother wanted to be the one to talk to Mikey. In a way, he envied his brothers for it. Whenever he and Raph fought, it would usually end with a sting. Yet, most of the time, when Michelangelo and Raphael fought, it would end with Mikey smiling and poking fun at the situation and Raph eventually blowing him off.

 

He and Raph used to be inseparable as kids. Late night exploring, Raph would always convince Leo to tag along for fun. They’d always spar each other, regardless of the lesson. They’d help each other with the learning assignments Splinter did with them, even up to the point of swapping each other’s work to complete the question the other couldn’t figure out. The little things they did as kids just wouldn’t cut it now.

 

Late night exploring? Possible.

Swapping homeworks? Dishonorable, at least to him.

Sparring with each other? Never a dull moment.

 

_Now._ Now, everything was different yet it never changed. Behind the disputes, Leo felt that Raph understood him the best. The pressures Leo faced, and how there is no room for failure. For Mikey and Donnie, they could loose their footing in a fight. In that splint second, he knew it was his job to have his younger brothers’ backs. Raph included, even though he never minded backing Leo up with it.

 

Raph, _though he’ll never admit it,_ was the back up that Leo never accepted, nor turned down. It was an unspoken, neutral agreement to always watch over the family- and each other. But they knew their places, their responsibilities. What needed to be done for the good of the family. At all costs.

 

/././././././././././././././

 

“Ow! Watch it!”

 

“I am ‘watching it’.” Donatello carefully wrapped another cast around his younger brother’s shoulder—for the second time. “There, it’s done. Now please don’t mess this one up too, okay? You have to share the medical supplies with everyone.”

 

“Well, let’s hope that we don’t have to, bro.” Mikey rotated his shoulder, adjusting himself to the tight bandaged wrapped around it. He kept his eyes glued to the floor. He still couldn’t dare himself to look up at his brother. At the corner of his eye he could see his brother back to tinkering.

 

“Yeah, hopefully.” Donnie’s voice cracked. Maybe it was the stress finally kicking into him, or that Splinter’s recovery has been slow. Either way, Donatello felt completely useless. He had to do something, anything, to give his family some kind of assurance. _And that’s exactly what this device will lead me to._ He could hear Mikey spinning around his chair across from him, humming a low tune to himself. “You know, Mikey, you can go if you want. You don’t have to hang around here.”

 

“I guess so,” Mikey admitted, wheeling himself over next to Donnie. “But I wanna help, if I could. And like, real help, not let-me-mix-the-pretty-colors-and-hope-it-goes-boom kind of help.”

 

Chucking, he glanced over to his right and shrugged. “I mean, there’s not much you can do. I don’t mind company though—as long as you don’t touch anything, of course.”

 

“That I can do!” Resting his casted arm on Donnie’s work table, he craned his neck over. Peering over his brother’s shoulder he asked, “So, what’s that anyway? Another shell cell upgrade or something?”

 

Donnie hesitated. “Yeah, something. But, I’ve been meaning to talk to.”

 

“Oh.” Mikey wheeled himself a few feet back and continued maneuvering himself across the room. “I’m fine, dude. Just haven’t slept much that’s all. Which I better go do so, catch you later!” Jumping off his seat he dashed toward his room. He felt bad for leaving Donnie up in the air like that, but he knew what he was leading up to. Anything but actually talking about it.

 

Swinging his door open he quickly shut it behind him, just in case Donnie chased after him. Breathing out a sigh of relief he slouched himself against the door, his eyes closed.

 

“Yo.”

 

“GAH!” Jumping back on his feet, his head banging against his door, he looked up at the figure leaning against his bed. “Raph, geez, you of all people should get a sense of privacy! If you wanted something you could-!”

 

“Look, you’ve been actin’ real weird these past few days. And it’s freakin’ me out. So, you could either tell me what’s been goin’ on, or, I could just smack it out of ya. Your choice.”

 

“How sensitive, oh brother of mine-!” Pulling his knees to his chest, he rested his head against his knees. His tone growing more serious, he mumbled, “Raph? Do you think I’m…a liability?”

 

“No,” Shrugging his shoulders, Raph continued. “A bonehead, yeah. Annoying, most of the time. Na, you’re not a liability. Who gave ya that idea?”

 

“Me. I don’t know. I screwed up real big lately. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just feel so…off.”

 

“Before or after ya ran off across Manhattan?”

 

“Dude,” Mikey exclaimed as he rose to his feet. “I seriously don’t remember any of that! The mirror, me running off, you guys talking to me, I can’t remember a thing! I just blinked and- BOOM.”

 

“Boom?”

 

“Ugh, I meant, POOF.”

 

“Poof?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Are we talkin’ about what happened or your brain activity?”

 

“Dude, I’m being serious!”

 

“So am I!”

 

“Forget it!” Grabbing his sketchbook, which was already loosing it’s pages, Mikey reached for the door. Then, the realization hit him, stopping dead in his tracks, he pouted as he exclaimed, “Wait, this is my room, **you** leave!”

 

“Look, Mikey, you shouldn’t feel like your some kind of…Flaw to us. You know you’re not, bro. You’re good. Leo and Donnie are worried about you- I’m, worried about you. We want to help ya, before you have another...episode. Let Donnie help ya, bro. It’ll make everyone feel a lot better.” Raph gave Mikey a gentle shove as he made his way out of the room. Turning his head around he smirked, “Maybe it’s the pizza that’s gotten to ya.”

 

“Yeah, maybe, bro! I mean, I love my fair share of pizza dude but the place we normally get it from never screws up as much as they did now. But,” For the first time in a long time, Raph saw Mikey smile as he ran and gave his brother a hug. “thanks, Raphie.”

 

Prying his brother off of him, he flicked his forehead. “Look, shell-brains. One, don’t hug me. Two, make Leo and Donnie stop being worried mothers. And three, next time you get pizza-.” Pizza. The pizza Mikey got earlier in the afternoon was the one with the recording device on it, the one he didn’t notice. “Wait, did you have half that pizza by yourself?”

 

“Uh, yeah, why?”

/././././././././././././././././

 

Sitting on different sections of the living room, the turtles exchanged glances. Leonardo, arms crossed, listening to Raphael’s proposal as he occasionally

 

“You’re telling me that the pizza Mikey ate was drugged to cause him to have some series of hallucinations.” Donatello rubbed the back of his neck as he grabbed a slice of Mikey’s pepperoni pizza. “I mean, that could explain why he had a fever when he came back and was acting out. And his description of the attack when he was with Splinter.”

 

“Dude, that part was for real! I swear!”

 

“Nonetheless,” Leonardo continued, hoping to stop a fight before it erupted. “It explains Mikey’s behavior and maybe even why Splinter is ill. If someone is attempting to drug one or all of us, we all need to be at our full guard. Donnie, how’s Splinter doing?”

 

“Recovering, thankfully.” Donnie smiled. “He seems to be responding well to the medication, I think he’ll be okay by the end of the week. If he gets enough rest.”

 

“Good, before you work on that device see if that pizza really was drugged in the first place. If you can find out what was used, maybe we can trace it back to the source. In the meantime, we need to figure out who we’re exactly dealing with. Raph, call up Casey and check out what the Dragons have been up to. Though I don’t think they’d be able to pull this off, you never know. I’m going to check out the Foot hotspots, see what I can dig up.”

 

“Alone?” Donnie frowned, shaking his head. “I know the Shredder’s dead and all but, what if Karai’s there? You should have some kind of backup.”

 

“I’ll handle Karai, trust me.” Leo assured. “She wouldn’t do anything reckless, especially with Shredder gone. Mikey, I want you to give Donnie a hand. How about you run by Leatherhead’s and give him the device? Maybe with a second brain power it gives Donnie less stress and more a chance to get more covered.”

 

Mikey beamed, nodding with excitement. “You got it, bro!”

 

Leonardo smiled. Things were finally piecing together. Soon, they can know exactly what’s been going on.

 

Or what’s been happening.

/./././././././././././././././


	6. Chapter 6 // "Step by Step"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonardo confronts Karai, Raphael meets up with Casey Jones, Donnie brings April up to speed while Mikey works with Leatherhead...

/./././././././././././././././

 

Gathering his equipment, Leonardo knew exactly what he signed up for. Knowing Karai, he was confident in his ability to get through to her. Deep down, he felt like they both had a mutual understanding of each other. Karai only looks out for herself; and yet, is willing to negotiate or talk with him before any of her actions. And yet, Leonardo still felt haunted by the events of his return from the ancient one—learning that his entire family was gone, because of her. After almost losing his family once to her, he vowed to himself to keep an eye on Karai himself—even if that means putting himself in danger over his brothers. He had to take the matters into his own hands; it was his duty to his family. After what happened with Michelangelo…

 

This just wasn’t right.

 

His youngest brother in a complete drugged paranoid frenzy, Donatello working himself completely down to help Splinter, Raphael being the one to keep the family steady while not loosing it himself—this isn’t the way they were supposed to be living. None of this seemed real. He felt sloppy, inconsistent. Things haven’t gotten this out of hand—not when Splinter was in charge.

 

_If only Sensei can see how it’s holding up now…Then maybe he’ll understand how conflicted all this is to me. I’ve let him down, I’ve let the family down._

 

His own doubts were replaced with fear. Fear of who, or what, is after his family. Leonardo felt his heart race, remembering the fear in Michelangelo’s eyes. Donatello, looking so weak and defeated. Raphael, trying to keep the pieces together. He knew he was failing his family. He was going to find the monster that is attacking his family, and put it to rest once and for all—even if he had to do it alone.

 

But first thing’s first. Leonardo rushed out of his room and headed toward the center of the lair, hoping to find Raphael before he rushed off to Casey. Right before Raphael began heading toward the rear exit, Leonardo rushed over to him.

 

“Raphael,” Leonardo jogged over to his brother. Firmly grabbing his shoulder, Leonardo’s tone was firm—hoping his brother could see the necessity in his offer. “Before you go to Casey’s, I need you to do something for me.”

 

Raphael didn’t mean to roll his eyes; but he knew what was coming up probably wasn’t a simple favor. Not that he cared, especially with things happening the way they are. Even when Leonardo was gone for almost a year, Donatello had to be the head-of-house. He remembered that conversation with Sensei with Donnie, how pressured Donnie felt to be the next head-of-house. Raphael would be lying if he said he didn’t feel hurt by the fact his little brother was picking up responsibility where Leo left off. But running off being the Nightwatcher wasn’t exactly helping his case either. _I was too busy trying to fix myself, I couldn’t even be there for our family._ He knew for Leonardo to rely so heavily on him wasn’t just because of the dire necessity that his family was in—but because he trusted him.

 

_Ugh, crap._ Shrugging his shoulders, Raphael continued to gear up his supplies. “What do ya want me to do? It better not be playing mother-hen to anyone…”

 

Leonardo sighed, knowing already he was set up for trouble. “Before you meet with Casey, I want you to go with Mikey to Leatherhead’s. Just to be sure he gets there safely. With someone else knowing our location and the lair, it’s safer to travel together. At least for the time being.”

 

Raphael knew he shouldn’t start anything with Leonardo, but if Leo was so willing about putting himself at risk then why is he the exception? Scoffing under his breath, Raphael faced his back toward Leo as he began cleaning off his sais. “That’s pretty hypocritical of you considering you’re going on a solo date with the same bitch who nearly killed you and us—but sure, whatever you want.”

 

“Raph…” Leonardo sighed, sounding both defeated and irritated. “If I show up to see Karai with you or anyone else, she’ll get defensive and I need her to cooperate. I can handle her on my own. This isn’t the first time I went to her for information, you know that.”

 

“Oh, yeah, sure, until she stabs you in the back _again_.” Shaking his head, he turned to face Leonardo. Watching is brother minimizing himself is like playing a broken record; but, then why does it still bother him to see him go off alone? “Didn’t Mikey say that the Foot who attacked the lair were looking for _you_? Couldn’t this be just a distraction to get closer to you, or us?”

 

He couldn’t lie if he didn’t consider that possibility. But if that were true, Leonardo knew that it was better for him in that case to face it himself than to drag Raph or anyone else along with him—putting them in danger. “Maybe. But, if that were true why go through all the trouble in drugging Mikey? He ran off for hours, someone could have taken him let alone attack us while we were all separated. We need to consider all our options, and this is the best way to do it.”

 

_God, he can be so frinkin’ stubborn._ “Fine, whatever. I’ll play mother hen for you and make sure Mike doesn’t go zombie mode while you ‘charm’ your way into finding answers from Karai.”

 

Leonardo couldn’t help but smirk, rolling his eyes at the hand gestures Raphael was making toward him. “Thanks. Also, let Leatherhead know what’s been happening—in private, not in front of Mikey. Leatherhead’s resourceful, but I still want him in the loop just in case. Keep me updated on what you and Casey find. And, be safe.”

 

“You too, bro. You too.” Raphael watched Leo run off toward the southern end of the sewer system. He knew to never, ever, trust Karai with anything let alone some information. But, this wasn’t his call. And he had nothing left to do but to hope that he’ll get something, _anything_ , to put an end to all of this.

 

He hated feeling so helpless.

 

“Hey! I thought you were going off kick some Dragons’ skulls with Casey?” Raphael slightly jumped at his younger brother’s voice as he made his way toward the eastern end of the sewer system. Raphael cursed under his breath; he knew Mikey would be insulted if he knew that Leo was sending him as a “watchful eye”. He knew he had to cover it up, and hope his brother would buy it.

 

“Yeah, I’m meeting Casey near the East Side near the pizzeria. Figured we might as well walk together, heading in the same way and all.”

 

Mikey tilted his head as he caught up to his brother, walking side-by-side. “Huh. Weird, that’s not where you usually meet Casey. While you’re there you might as well bring a pie or two back with you!”

 

“Eh, felt like checking out another Dragon’s hotspot. And, nice try but no—with my luck I’ll get another one of your drugged pizzas and go crazy like you did.” Raphael bit his tongue. _Crap. I shouldn’t have said that._ “Eh, sorry, bro. Too soon?”

 

Michelangelo smiled, laughing more at himself than his brother. “Ha! Like we need two of me running around the city completely blind-sighted, huh? Dude, it’s cool. I mean, this all isn’t cool and definitely getting drugged and not remembering what happened isn’t cool either, but the sooner we find out what’s up the sooner we can get things back to normal!”

 

Raphael and Michelangelo continued moving forward without saying much after that. Both contemplating on their own thoughts, it wasn’t until they passed the sewer exit that Mikey spoke up. “Uh, isn’t this your stop, bro?”

 

“Uh, yeah. Figured I’m already more than halfway there from Leatherhead’s, I might as well see him.” Raph knew it wasn’t a very good excuse, and by the dull look on his brother’s face he knew he didn’t go for it either.

 

“Okay, Raph, who told you escort me? Donnie? Leo? Both of em’? Or are you doing it out of the own kindness of your heart, Raphie?”

 

“Ugh. Idiot.” He didn’t feel like arguing or defending his point. Instead, Raphael unconsciously smacked his brother across the head. Ignoring his brother’s dramatic cries and continued forward. “The sooner we get to Leatherhead’s the sooner I can go beat some dragons.”

 

“Ow! Geez, that was uncalled for! At least answer my question for me!” Michelangelo’s tone grew more serious as he caught up with his brother. “It was Leo, wasn’t it? I saw you two talking. I’m getting the feeling that he’s beginning to doubt me even more so then usual, huh?”

 

Even though Michelangelo confided in him earlier, Raphael knew Mikey and Leo were on rough terms. Leo’s stress, Mikey’s…well…Mikey. It’s no doubt that tension was going to brew. “Look, I get where you’re coming from, bro. But…with everything going on, especially with you, he just wants to make sure you’re okay. Don’t take it too personally, ‘kay? You know how Fearless gets when shit hits the fan.”

 

“Yeah, I don’t blame him. I haven’t exactly made things easier, huh? But…Raph, you believe me right? About what happened during the attack on the lair, me honestly not remembering anything?” Michelangelo began to feel anxious; he didn’t want to admit that not remembering what happened to him terrified him.

 

“I don’t see why you’d make any of this shit up…But,” Raphael hesitated. _When he was blacking out, why did he call out to Splinter? Why did he seem not to recognize us at all? Donnie better found out what the hell was in Mikey…_ He knew Mikey wouldn’t have the answer for him, and it would just upset him more. Better to just get him to Leatherhead’s and focus on that later. Playfully shoving Mikey forward, he smirked, “Just don’t be an idiot, okay? You got to keep your eyes sharp out here especially now. And learn how to answer your damn shell cell!”

 

“Ow! Dude! I’m totally 100% focused!”

 

“Ah, still bickering as ever.”

 

“AH!” With a girlish squeal and instinctively jumping back toward Raphael, Mikey grabbed his weapons quickly. Raphael pushed his brother off. “Yo, Leatherhead! How’s it goin’?”

 

“My friends, forgive me. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Leatherhead emerged from the sewer entrance. With a warm smile he greeted the two turtles. “Raphael, Michelangelo, what brings you two here? I wasn’t expecting any company this evening…”

 

“It’s kind of a long story, dude. But, I got some homework for ya if you’re interested!” Michelangelo handed Leatherhead the small device. “Don thinks there’s some kind of recording stuck in there.”

 

“Hm…Such a strange device. I’ll take a closer look at it, but, what is going on that you require my assistance? Are Donatello and the others alright?”

 

“Oh! Yeah, they’re fine! Splinter is just under the weather and, well, frankly we could really use a hand! I’ll fill ya in on what happened on the way to your place.”

 

_Crap. Now how am I going to talk to Leatherhead?_ Raphael watched as Mikey began heading toward Leatherhead’s place. He waited until Mikey was further enough for him to grab Leatherhead’s arm. He quietly called to him, and quickly said, “Hey, listen, Mike will tell ya what happened but—keep an eye on him. He’s been drugged earlier and he may still have some of it in his system. Call us if anything happens at all.”

 

Leatherhead nodded. “Of course, Raphael. Your brother is safe with me.”

 

Raphael smirked as he waved to his brother. “Yo, call us when you guys find anything.”

 

“You got it! You and Casey have fun!” And with a quick goodbye, Raphael watched his brother leave with Leatherhead. Raphael checked his cell, and found a couple of impatient text messages from Casey. Quickly heading up to the surface, he rushed to the rendezvous point. Waiting for him on the rooftop was Casey Jones, decked in his latest gear, tapping his foot while humming to himself.

 

“You took your sweet time, princess.” Casey smirked, greeting Raphael with a forceful pat on the back.

 

Raphael returned the gesture with a powerful punch to Casey’s arm. “Had to make sure Mikey got to Leatherhead’s okay, asshole. Since when are you ever on time?”

 

“Since it involves bashing some Dragons, on a Tuesday night too. That’s a change. I had to get out of work early for this. What gives?” Casey recently picked up more hours at the auto shop more so for April’s sake than his own. Nearly his late twenties, April felt like he needed to become more “career oriented”—which, to his rebuttal, involved him saying that he had an exciting career already. Especially after Raphael’s Nightwatcher days, April has been more consistent in persisting Casey. He loved her, but he couldn’t lie that he felt the pressure of adulthood hitting him head on. “April’s gonna kill me if she finds out that I ditched work for this so we better have a good reason for coming out here.”

 

As the two began to scan the Purple Dragon’s hotspots, Raphael updated Casey on the current situation. Casey cursed under his breath, slowing down his pace. “Shit, you guys had way more going on than I thought. April mentioned about Splinter, but now Mikey being all drugged up? No offense, but it doesn’t sound like the Dragons’ style. Shouldn’t we be looking into whatever the Foot is up to?”

 

“It wouldn’t be the first time we overlooked the Dragons, besides it was Leo who called the shot. Is it just me, or is it weird that we haven’t found a single Dragon lurking the streets?”

 

“Maybe there’s a ragger happening tonight that we didn’t get the memo for. I hate not being invited places.”

 

“Hm…” Raphael leaned over the edge of the rooftop, examining the streets below. Maybe the Dragons really did have nothing to do with it. Maybe Casey’s right, and they were just wasting time. Reaching for his shell-cell, he speed dialed Leo. “Let’s hope Fearless got more than we did…”

/././././././././././././././././

 

There weren’t too many places Karai would be, but it wouldn’t hurt to start with the Foot Lair. Any other time he’d be going there, he’d be walking into a suicide mission. With the Shredder being gone for almost a year, there wasn’t much putting the turtles on their toes—except for Karai.

 

Jumping from rooftop to rooftop, he continued to focus his way toward the old foot lair. It wasn’t until he heard a sword seething that he stopped in his tracks, and pulled out his katanas.

 

“Leonardo,” Emerging from the darkness, Karai held her sword close to her as she approached him. A dark smile stretched across her face, as she continued to get closer. “It’s been quite some time. You don’t usually come looking for me unless you’re asking for a favor…”

 

“Karai. You’ve been quiet, picked up a new hobby?”

 

“You know me, always keeping busy.” Circling her sword around in the air, she continued to near herself toward Leonardo. “But tell me, what do I owe the pleasure? You’ve been quiet yourself, considering you and your brothers getting into messes. Or, is that too why you’re here?” Leonardo locked his eyes on her. With the Shredder gone she seemed more confident, arrogant even. Though she looked better without the Shredder, he wondered if their separation helped her or made her worse.

 

“I’m not in the mood for playing games, Karai. My family was attacked tonight. I thought we had a deal.”

 

“Do you always go accusing people without any evidence? You’re getting sloppy, Leo.”

 

Leonardo grew tenser, his eyes piercing right at her. Firming his stance, he held his katana up to her. Even as upset as he was, he kept his control. “The foot attacked my brother, and asked for me. Explain yourself. Right. Now.”

Looking at the sword, then back up at Leonardo. She smirked, pushing the sword away from her. “As intimating as you are, that’s not my style and you know that. If I wanted to talk to you, directly, I would have found you. I don’t need to hurt your brothers to get what I want…sometimes. But, I digress, you know more than half the Foot are no longer loyal to me. They are still loyal to the Shredder, or what’s left of him. Many of them returned to Japan, the rest joined washed-up gangs. Does that satisfy your question?”

 

Leonardo remained still, watching her every move. “And the Foot that are loyal to you? Why stay here? Why not go back to Japan? What more do you want from here?”

 

“I’d miss you too much.” Karai waited for a reaction from Leonardo. Receiving nothing but a darker look, she sighed. “Why I choose to remain in this city is not your concern, and if it was you’d know by now. Shouldn’t you be trying to figure out who’s after your precious family or you for that matter? I have nothing to offer you, Leonardo.”

 

_If she’s not involved…Then the Foot ninja who dispersed, if they’re loyal to the Shredder. Would someone else pick up where he left off?_ Placing his swords back into their holsters, Leonardo watched Karai do the same. “If I hear even a word of your name mentioned, I’ll come back for you. You better not be involved in this.”

 

“I do hope that’s a promise, you do know how much I love our chats.” Karai smiled mischievously as she began to make her way off. “See you around.”

 

_Karai…_ Leonardo watched her disappear into the night. Shaking his head, his shell cell suddenly went off. Reaching for his phone, he quickly answered, “Hey, Raph, any news about the Dragons?”

 

“Freakin’ not a single one, must be their night off or something. Casey and I were thinking of checking one more hotspot that most of them hang out before heading out. Did I interrupt your little date or…?”

 

“It’s not a date!” Leonardo sighed, he knew that came off way more defensive than he realized. “And no, I don’t think Karai is involved. Leaving our options pretty slim. Message me your location, I’ll go with you and Casey on your last round.”

 

“Sounds good, bro.” And with the location set, Leonardo continued forward toward Raphael and Casey’s location—hoping one more final Dragon sweep can help find an answer.

 

/././././././././././././././././

 

_It’s 12:15AM. And yet, I’m on my second cup of coffee. Does this mean I’m an addict coffee drinker?_ Donnie shrugged off his mindless thoughts as he continued to give Splinter another dosage of the antibiotic. Splinter’s vital signs were getting incredibly better—more so than he thought Splinter would. Luckily, catching the pneumonia early on allowed him to treat it more quickly. But he’s no doctor; he feared at some point, there wouldn’t be much more he couldn’t do. _At least he’s getting better now, that’s what matters. I better ask April to pick up some more antibiotics…_

It was simple to worry about Splinter, knowing he was recovering. Thinking about his brothers on the other hand…He knew that was completely different. With Mikey and Leatherhead focusing on the contents of the device, he hoped he could get more time into looking into Mikey’s blood sample he got from cleaning up his wound. _The blood analysis should be done soon, hopefully I’ll be able to figure out what was used._

“My son,” Splinter weakly spoke. Rising slightly from his bed, he smiled gently toward Donatello. “Forgive me for being in such a state, you should be assisting your brothers. They especially need your strength at this time…”

 

“Sensei, right here is where I’m needed. The faster I can take care of you, the faster I can get to cleaning up their messes too.” He hoped with a forced laugh, Splinter could see past his own concerns.

 

Frowning, Splinter reached out for his son. “Donatello. I truly feel much stronger, and better since you have helped me. From what Leonardo has spoken with me, we are all at great risk. Your brothers need your support, I too fear for their wellbeing. Especially Michelangelo…Please, do not worry about me, my son.”

 

“Father,” Donatello sat beside Splinter. Here he was, almost near his deathbed not too long ago and now _he’s_ the one comforting him. “I trust you, and I trust my brothers too it’s just…too many variables right now, and nothing is clear.”

 

“Perception is so fragile, and yet so critical. Wouldn’t it be easier if you could just see it through another’s eyes?”

BEEP.BEEP.BEEP

 

“That must be the blood sample analysis. Sensei, I-.”

 

“I’m perfectly fine,” Splinter reassured, holding his son’s hand firmly. “Go, I will call you if I need you.” Feeling guilty leaving his father’s side, Donatello hesitated as he made his was back into the lab. He could remember when Leonardo left for six months for Central America, when Raph never came home—how Splinter asked him, _him,_ to watch over Raphael and Michelangelo. In other words, he was practically leader at the time. Maybe that’s why he became so bitter at the time; why he blamed Raphael, why he snapped at Mikey easily, and why he was so frustrated at his I.T job. Watching his father tell him to leave him, even for only a few moments, reminded him of that burden. Leonardo wasn’t here to reassure him, he had to trust his gut without overthinking.

 

And now here he was, trying to put the pieces together again. Printing the blood sample analysis, Donatello waited impatiently. Worse case scenario? Mikey would needed an antibiotic to fully recover. An even worse case scenario? It’s something that even he couldn’t think of.

 

Grabbing the papers, he began to skim over the analysis. _Everything else seems to be okay except…wait._ Quickly rushing toward his computer he began connecting the analytical findings to some key terms. “LSD? I guess that explains the mood changes, his hallucinations, why he heard voices, and why he freaked out. But, the symptoms usually wear off within twelve hours…?” _It’s only been about five or six…Meaning he can still have a reaction to anything, or anyone. The others left only about an hour or so ago and still nothing._ Continuing his research, Donatello continued to find any ways to help Mikey. “I get that it’s coming up LSD, but what’s this other compound with it? Nothing is making any sense…”

 

He was still wrapping his head around the fact that his brother had even been drugged, let alone his reaction to it. _Why would someone go through all that trouble…_

 

“Do you always talk to yourself when you’re alone?”

 

Not realizing how much he let his guard down, Donatello jumped up at the new voice. Standing at his doorway was April O’Neill, still dressed in her casual formal attire from her internship site. Now as a technical assistant for an upcoming researching facility, April has continued to prove her own accomplishment—with an occasional martial arts training on the side. Laughing, she approached Donatello with an embrace. “Aw, Donnie. I’m sorry, I texted you but you didn’t answer and I knew Splinter wasn’t feeling well so I thought I’d swing by…Is everything okay?”

 

“Hey, April. Sorry I didn’t get back to you, things have been...Well,” Hugging her back, he then sat back at his desk and handed her the blood analysis. “I guess it’s never a dull moment here. Someone slipped LSD into one of Mikey’s oh-so-many pizzas and…well...let’s say he didn’t have the best of reactions. But, what I don’t understand is why the analysis is coming up saying that the LSD has been laced with some other compound. I can’t find any single thing about it anywhere, nor have I seen it before. It’s only been about five or six hours since he was, you know, so he can still relapse and I’m worried about what the hell else he was drugged with. Thoughts?”

 

April sat on his desk and began slowly reading over Donatello’s analysis, as well as his side notes he always did on his findings. “Hell, you guys really did have a rough day, huh? You should have called me!”

 

“With Splinter being sick and everyone off their game, and then the foot attack-!” Donatello suddenly stopped. _Wait—the surveillance video. Maybe there was something I missed!_

 

“A foot attack?!” April echoed, following Donnie over to his collection of several computer monitors. “What the hell is the foot doing around? I thought they all disbanded months ago! Don’t tell me that Karai isn’t…?”

 

“We’ll find out whenever Leo is done having his date with her,” Realizing April’s reaction he laughed, quickly cutting her off, “And don’t even start—I know, we all told him he’s crazy. But, he’s just as stubborn as Raph can be. Raph is out with Casey checking out the Purple Dragons—.”

 

“Casey?” April sighed, sitting back down beside Donatello. “He’s supposed to be at work, but if things are this desperate…What are you looking for?”

 

“Anything that can lead us closer to what Mikey was talking about when he got attacked earlier in the night— Here!” Pulling up the exact timeframe it occurred, Donatello’s mouth dropped. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

 

April and Donatello watched the monitor carefully. “I-I have to call them…”

 

/./././././././././././././././

 

“That’s it, I’m giving up. If it’s not the fucking Dragons or foot, then who the hell-?” Raphael paced back and forth on the rooftop. Casey and Leonardo continued checking the area. “I mean, what the fuck—Oh great, it’s Don calling. What’s up?”

 

“He’s calling me too,” Leonardo said as he flipped open his phone. “Don? Are you okay?”

 

“Guys, it’s me. I got us all in a conference, I figured you guys would want to hear this together.” Donatello continued playing the footage over and over again, he couldn’t be right—not this time. “I’ve been going through scanners on our security logs again to find the footage that Mikey was talking about during the attack last night. Last time I looked, the video shots were all missing. I decided to look one more time just to be sure and I found the missing video footages and…Guys? There are no sights of the foot ever coming in…”

 

“What?!” Raphael roared, clearly trying not to scream. This made Casey jump up, running beside Raph to hear what Donnie had founded.

“Don, that’s impossible.” Leonardo trembled, his voice becoming tense and quiet. “The damage done to the lair, Mikey’s shoulder—it has to be manipulated or something. You can’t honestly think that—!”

 

Donatello’s voice grew grimmer. “Guys…it gets weirder. When Mikey gets to the perimeter he’s just walking around aimlessly. Then this figure comes out, Mikey tries to fight him, he stabs Mikey, it looks like he’s telling Mikey something, and then leaves him there….There were no robot foot ninja in the first place.”

 

“But then what did all that damage to the lair?” Leonardo asked wearily. “You can’t tell me that’s…”

 

“It was probably Mikey—I found out he’s been drugged with LSD but it’s been laced with something really, really, weird. April and I are trying to find out more but it looks like we just wasted more time…”

“Raph and I will try to look more into it, Donatello. Just focus on figuring out how we can cure Mikey before it gets worse…” Raphael and Leonardo exchanged glances of worry. Leonardo showed his phone to Raphael, gesturing that Mikey was in the call as well.

Leonardo’s voice softened, “Mikey, it’s going to be okay— did you and Leatherhead find anything?”

 

It was too quiet. No one said a word, not even a breath. Raphael looked up at Leo with a worried look. “Mikey? Mike, talk to me, are you there?”

“Mikey? Mike, what’s wrong? Are you there?”

“NO!” Michelangelo shouted, and not one of his dramatics. It was an agonizing cry. Crashes echoed into the phone.

 

“MIKEY!” All three brothers shouted into the phone.

 

From a distance, they could hear Leatherhead crying out, “Michelangelo! What are you doing?! I am your friend!”

 

“NO! I will not let you take my brothers away you fucker!”

 

Raphael’s eyes were wide. Leonardo shook his head. Donatello remained dumbfounded.

 

“Leo, we have to get there! RIGHT NOW!” Raphael held his phone against his ear as he ran off at full speed. Casey gestured for Leonardo to follow them as he rushed after.

 

Leonardo was about to take off when something behind him caught his eyes. Stopping in his tracks. Turning around, he saw a flash of black before nothing at all. Lying on the cold rooftop was a single piece of paper. Leonardo hesitantly made his way toward the paper. Shaken by the sound of his baby brother’s cries, Donatello arguing with April about heading after Mikey, Raphael desperately calling out for someone to answer—all grew silent as he crouched down and picked up the single piece of paper….

 

Simply written, “But what if all tranquility, all the comfort, all the contentment were now coming to a horrifying end?” (1)

 

/./././././././././././././././

 

The sewers were a lot cooler than usual in October. A shiver went down Michelangelo’s spine as he continued to go deeper into the tunnels. _Think happy thoughts, think warm thoughts—Leatherhead will be there and all this will be over soon!_ Clenching his nunchucks, his steps picked up pace. He couldn’t help but start to feel a little bit more cautious, considering how his track record has been.

 

Rubbing his shoulder, he could feel the bandages becoming more damp and loose. _I’ll have to have Donnie fix this when I go back._ He ignored the dull ache, keeping his focus on getting to Leatherhead’s. Michelangelo still couldn’t wrap his head around the events over the past couple of days—Splinter’s illness, his blackout for over a couple of hours, and now robot foot ninja looking for Leonardo? This was all too weird.

 

He couldn’t help but blame himself. All this wouldn’t have happened if he had just kept his emotions in tact and been more careful when getting the pizza. Now his entire family is in jeopardy by who-knows-what, and the guilt began to kick back in. _Drugged, stabbed, confused—I should be used to this by now, huh?_ At least his arm was starting to feel better a little bit better considering.

 

“Michelangelo, you’re awfully quiet.” Leatherhead picked his long head up from the small device. His lab was smaller than Donatello’s but it’s equipment was just as efficient, and dare he say, more powerful. It was enough to keep him busy with his own work, let alone when helping the turtles. Mikey sat in a spinning-chair across from Leatherhead, watching him work on the device.

 

“Huh?” Mikey snapped his head off his thoughts, picking up on of Leatherhead’s tools as he examined it. “I’m good! Guess I’m still trying to figure things out.”

 

“Hm…Forgive me, Michelangelo. I was going to come see your brothers and Sensei. I should have came sooner, perhaps something else I could have done…”

 

“What? Dude, no way! You’re totally helping now! Besides, we were all running around anyway! No worries!”

 

“But, I digress. This technology is very advanced, far more so than the material I have been gathering.”

 

“Ugh!” Mikey cried out, rubbing his template, he moaned as he said sarcastically. “Don’t tell me it’s the quarter of Baxter Stockman’s brain still rotting in there or something! Like that would be a total shocker!”

 

Leatherhead continued focused in on chipping away at the device. “No, all the equipment I’ve gathered is actually from one of Stockman’s abandoned warehouses. I know how he works, I fear it’s someone who is capable of…far more advanced technology.”

 

“The Kraang?” Mikey shrugged, bouncing his leg anxiously in his seat. “The last person who had anything close to their technology was—.”

 

“Bishop.” Leatherhead hissed, his own haunting memories honing in on him. The man responsible for his life, his torture.

 

Mikey watched as Leatherhead’s demeanor began to change. He couldn’t blame him, Bishop was cruel, unyielding. After what he did to Leatherhead, anyone would be terrified of that man’s capability. Mikey could remember the sound of the saw buzzing as Bishop went closer and closer to him…He shuttered at the memory, never in his life did he feel such fear before. “I…I thought he was backing down after all this time, ya know, like picking up a new hobby or discovering a new species somewhere else, I don’t know! Why all of a sudden is he coming after us again?”

 

“Your question is as good as mine. We do not know yet if this is truly Bishop’s work.”

 

Agent Bishop, next to Shredder, was probably one of the only humans that he’s ever meet to actually be afraid of. Sure Bishop was fast on his feet, pretty good in a fight—definitely a challenge to say the least. But it was his mind; it was the amount of power he had. Different from Shredder, yet it was what he could do…the endless things he could do, that make Michelangelo feel uneasy. Suddenly, Mikey began to feel more and more anxious.

 

_Geez, why am I so edgy right now? I feel like I can just do anything!_ Michelangelo began to feel his heart racing, his leg still jittery in his seat. His palms were sweaty. If someone like Bishop were after them… _Did I really let Bishop back into our lives again? What if us separating is exactly what he wanted? What if…?_

_“It’s all your fault…”_

 

“No.” Michelangelo mumbled to himself, shaking his head. _It’s the same voice, from before. Why do I feel so nauseous?_

“Michelangelo?” Leatherhead watched as Mikey continued to stare blankly at the table. His cell phone continued to ring, and yet he did not move an inch. “Michelangelo. Aren’t you going to answer?”

 

Suddenly, the sound of his phone ringing snapped him back for a moment. Just long enough for him to flip his phone open. His vision began to get more blurry, his head hot and light. At least all he had to do was listen…

 

_“Worthless…Pitiful…Unwanted…”_

 

“Guys, it’s me. I got us all in a conference, I figured you guys would want to hear this together.” Donatello sounded urgent. “I’ve been going through scanners on our security logs again to find the footage that Mikey was talking about during the attack last night. Last time I looked, the video shots were all missing. I decided to look one more time just to be sure and I found the missing video footages and…Guys? There are no sights of the foot ever coming in…”

 

“What?!” Raphael echoed, much louder than he thought.

 

Michelangelo froze. _No foot ninja…? There’s no way. There’s NO way—how the hell?_

“Don, that’s impossible.” Leonardo commented, sounding tenser than he’s been. “The damage done to the lair, Mikey’s shoulder—it has to be manipulated or something. You can’t honestly think that—!”

 

Mikey held the phone tighter, staring blankly ahead. _I…I imagined it? NO. There were nearly twenty of them! Ganging up on me!_

 

Donatello’s voice grew grimmer. “Guys…it gets weirder. When Mikey gets to the perimeter he’s just walking around aimlessly. Then this figure comes out, Mikey tries to fight him, he stabs Mikey, it looks like he’s telling Mikey something, and then leaves him there….There were no robot foot ninja in the first place.”

 

“But then what did all that damage to the lair?” Leonardo asked wearily. “You can’t tell me that’s…”

 

“It was probably Mikey—I found out he’s been drugged with LSD but it’s been laced with something really, really, weird. April and I are trying to find out more but it looks like we just wasted more time…”

 

_“Worthless…Pitiful…Unwanted…”_

_NO!_

_“Look what you had done, what you could have done to your family. You’re a disgrace. A failure. You do nothing but fail those around you.”_

_That voice…How do I know that voice?_

“R-a-p-h and I will try to look more into it, D-o-n-a-t-e-l-l-o.”

_Who? I can’t understand. Who’s name?_

“Mikey, it’s going to be okay—did you and Leatherhead find anything?”

_Is that Le-? Who? Why can’t I think straight. I need to get out of here! I can’t be here!_

“Mikey? Mike, what’s wrong? Are you there?”

_R-aph? I can’t open my mouth, I can’t talk. Can you hear me?_

“Michelangelo? You do not look well.” Leatherhead cautiously approached. His skin had turned paler, his light blue eyes grew dull, he was shaking, and he looked absolutely terrified. “Michelangelo, let me talk to your brothers.”

 

_My what?_

_“Let me take your brothers. I’ll make their deaths swift.”_

_Shredder?! You’re dead! You’re dead! I won’t let you-! I-!_

_NO!_

/././././././././././././

“NO!” Michelangelo jumped. Dropping the phone he reached for his pocketknife and pounced on Leatherhead. Leatherhead dodged quickly, grabbing Michelangelo by his torso and pulling his arms behind his head.

 

“Michelangelo! What are you doing?! I am your friend!”

 

“NO! I will not let you take my brothers away you fucker!” Leatherhead was taken by surprised my Michelangelo’s sudden strength. This wasn’t the same Michelangelo that was smiling, offering a joke or two—he was vicious and out to kill. Leatherhead knew if he let his guard down again, Mikey could very well be the one to end it for good.

 

“Stop this! I do not want to hurt you!” Pulling his restraint on him tighter, Michelangelo continued to fight his way off of Leatherhead. With a powerful kick to his shin, Leatherhead fell to his knees. This gave Michelangelo the perfect opportunity—kicking Leatherhead down. He reached for his pocket knife again and went to attack Leatherhead. “STOP THIS!”

 

Michelangelo suddenly hesitated, his mouth dropped as he looked down at the knife and then back at Leatherhead. “Michelangelo…it’s okay…I’m going to help you!”

 

Swiftly, Mikey took off like a flash of lighting without looking back.

 

/./././././././././././././././././


	7. Chapter 7 // "Repression"

/./././././././././././././././././

 

_“But what if all tranquility, all the comfort, all the contentment were now coming to a horrifying end?” (1)_

 

Leonardo’s mind was screaming at him to go, to follow his brother and get to Michelangelo as fast as possible. He took a shaky breath, reading over and over the crumbled words. His eyes quickly darted over the rooftops. Someone had to be watching; someone out there was enjoying this.

 

Useless. He hated knowing that someone was toying with them, with **_his_** family. Leonardo would gladly take the burden himself, allowing anything to him if it meant saving his brothers. _If Karai was telling the truth, and the Dragons are low key—there has to be an explanation._ Thinking rationally was the only way he could keep his mind straight.

 

“Leo!” Leonardo looked over his shoulder, finding his brother pacing back toward him. Raphael still had his shell-cell resting on his shoulder. He could hear Donatello’s voice frantically talking through his earpiece, which sounded more like gibberish on the other line. Raphael tensed up, but looked utterly defeated. He was probably thinking the same thing as him, yet something felt so wrong…

 

Everything was happening more quickly than his mind could process. _If someone is purposely toying with us…_

 

“Leo!” Raphael exclaimed again, this time roughly shaking his older brother’s shoulder. “Let’s. Go! We can’t just stand—!”

 

“Maybe we should.” Leonardo answered, more bluntly than he intended.

 

Raphael looked insulted, mumbling under his breath before shaking his head. “What the hell are you talking about? Leatherhead could be really hurt, and Mikey—!”

 

“Someone is toying with us,” Leonardo handed his brother the paper, gesturing his surroundings as his voice escalated. “It’s just going to repeat over and over before we loose him for good! We need a better plan then just running around in circles!”

 

“Oh, and sitting here like jerk-offs waiting for another mysterious little note is going to help?” Raphael snapped. Rolling his eyes, he looked over at Casey who was still waiting for his follow. A part of him knew Leonardo only meant to put an end to it—but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have to put up with it. “You can wait around all you want I’m going to find my brother—!”

 

“April and I are the closest to Leatherhead,” Donatello’s voice crackled through Leo and Raph’s earpieces. Alarming the two, almost forgetting about their younger brother still on the other line. “She and I are going to check in on him, since he’s not answering. Sensei will be okay, his condition is getting better and I fixed the lockdown protocol. She and I will take care of it. Don’t get mad, but I snuck a tracking device on Mikey’s belt just in case this would happen again. He’s heading west toward the Junkyard. If you cut him off, you should be able to get him. Just be careful, he isn’t going to be in the right mind. Sending you the coordinates now.”

 

Leonardo took out his shell-cell and looked over the GPS. _He’s moving fast, but we can still catch him. Unless…_ For as long as he can remember, Master Splinter always encouraged him to trust his gut. As the leader after all, he has to grow and instinct for it. He has to be able to evaluate and plan all the possibilities. Sometimes, even shutting out his own emotions. Hell, he just wanted to take off right after his little brother and do everything he can to bring him home.

 

He couldn’t help but remember when Donatello got sick, then suddenly had a second mutation. The monster he became, the fear of never being able to see his little brother as himself again—Leonardo promised himself, never again will he ever let his family get to that state.

 

That was, until Raphael reached his breaking point. After his return from South America, that dark and thundering night collided the built up tension between the two. _A flash of lighting, Raphael gripping his sai directly at his neck, trusting in his brother._ He and Raphael never dared mentioned about that night again, especially to their brothers. Leonardo knew in his heart that his younger brother would never, ever, do it—and yet, the fear and the realization in Raphael’s eyes still haunt him to this day.

 

And now his youngest brother is facing the same threat. The most free-spirited, happy-go-lucky, always supportive—No, not him. Not Michelangelo too. For his brother’s sake, he had to focus. _Why all this trouble? If someone wanted to take him, they’d done it last night when he was gone. Why make him relapse? Why make him snap again?_

“He’s close! Let’s go-!” Before Leo could speak, his brother and Casey were already running down the fire escape. Frustrated, Leo groaned as he chased after him.

Not too far ahead of him, Leonardo treaded carefully behind the two. Looking around his area from time to time, Leonardo kept his eyes on the rooftops. He hoped that just maybe, the mysterious figure would return. Picking up his pace, Leonardo watched Raphael run faster toward the fence.

 

“Wait!” Leonardo hissed, trying to catch up to his brother. “We need a plan-! Raphael!”

 

“He’s close.” Raphael waited for Leonardo to hop over the fence and stand with him, gesturing toward his phone. “He’s not right in the head right now. Maybe we should just get him to stop moving—!”

 

“And terrify him? If he’s seeing things, hearing stuff, we need to try and talk him down.”

 

“Like in his room? Yeah right. I remember that working out real well, Fearless.”

 

“Uh, fellas?” Casey whispered, leaning in closer toward the abandoned tractor. “I think he’s here…” Casey carefully gripped his hockey stick, gesturing the others to go around the trailer.

 

“No weapons, Raph.”

 

“It’s nice of you to think that I would.”

 

Leonardo sighed, he knew Raphael would take it the wrong way. But that would have to wait. Casey waited near the drivers’ seat, crouching low. Raphael headed toward the front while Leonardo took the back. Treading around the rear end of the tractor, he could hear mumbling coming from the other side.

 

“Stop. Please, stop. It’s not my fault! It’s not my fault!” Michelangelo was completely soaked. Probably from the sewer, Leo figured. But what alerted him the most was the amount of cuts he had on his arms and torso. Clearly he was in a struggle with someone, could have been the culprit who did it all? Did he run into Dragons or Foot? He was sitting on his knees, holding himself as he continued to mumble quietly to himself. Michelangelo continued to tremble, sinking himself lower to the ground.

 

A sense of rage began to fill inside Leonardo. _Whoever did this is going to pay._

 

With Michelangelo’s back facing to him, Leo knew he didn’t want to scare him. Raphael leaned in to see his brother, locking eyes with Leonardo. _I need to at least try to talk to him…Maybe help him make sense of all of this._ Kneeling on the ground, Leonardo carefully reached toward his brother. “Mikey. It’s me, Leo—.”

 

Snapping his head up, Michelangelo stumbled backward landing on his shell. His eyes grew wide as he stared right at Leonardo. He stumbled as he began to reach for his weapon.

 

“Hey, easy, little bro.” Forcing a smile, he held his voice calmly. “I’m not going to hurt you. We were all worried about you. Me, Raph, Donnie, Sensei, Leatherhead, Casey and April? We just want to take you home. Are you okay?”

 

“N-No. You’re dead. You’re not real! I-I…GET AWAY FROM ME!” Turning to flee from Leonardo, his eyes locked onto Raphael’s. Beginning to realize he was cornered, he began frantically looking around another way out.

 

_Shit._ Holding his hands up, Raphael stepped out of his spot. “It’s alright, Mikey. Ya didn’t do anything wrong, bro. Just snap out of it!”

 

_Oh, real sensitive Raphael._ Giving Raph a disapproving look, Leonardo tried reaching out his hand toward his youngest brother. “Mikey, just take a deep breath, okay? Remember why—.”

Michelangelo began to corner himself between Leo and Raph. Michelangelo’s voice broke, looking back toward the ground. “No! Stop! Stop! You’re dead! I’m sorry, Raphie. I’m sorry, Leo. I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

 

Raphael’s heart sank. He’s never seen his brother this…desperate. He looked up at Leo, hoping he would make the next move. _Since I clearly can’t make the “delicate” choices._ Leonardo nodded toward Raph, as he slowly stood up from the ground. _Fearless better know what he’s doing…_

 

“Mikey,” Leonardo spoke softly, treading carefully toward Michelangelo. “Remember how you got here. Remember what you were doing before this moment.”

 

Michelangelo’s posture began to ease, his voice growing composure as he looked at Leo. “I..I..L-Leatherhead. I…I was, there?”

 

Leonardo smiled as he slowly walked closer toward him. “Good, Mikey. You’re doing great. Keep remembering, you were with Leatherhead, right?”

 

“Y-Yeah.” Rising from the ground, Michelangelo turned to face Raphael. Forcing himself to smile, he rubbed his template. “I was…helping? Yeah, I was helping him figure something out. The…The…The thingy? Then your voices came on and-.”

 

“Guys! We have a problem!” Casey hopped over the driver’s seat of the truck and landed next to Raphael. Lowering his hockey mask and reaching for his weapon, he gestured toward behind the tractor. “Dragons at twelve o’clock!”

 

Leonardo instinctively jumped in front of Michelangelo, Raphael following beside Leonardo. “Raph, take Mikey back to the lair. Now.”

 

“There’s no way I’m leavin’ ya-!”

 

“Mikey is in no condition to fight, he can get hurt or worse! You know what you have to do! Go!”

 

“Leo’s right, man!” Casey chimed, readying his second weapon. “We got this! Get your bro to safety!”

 

Leonardo gave a quick nod toward his brothers before turned next to Casey, facing the dozen Purple Dragons that waited for them. Knowing his brothers were headed to safety, he allowed himself to smile devilishly. “Well, well, looks like you all are right where you belong. How about we make them stay this way?”

 

/./././././././././././././

“Donnie,” April couldn’t help but break the silence between them as they paced their way through the dark and cold tunnels. Tucking her scarf in her jacket, she quickly opened her zipper pocket. Feeling her pocket knife secure in her pocket, she continued to focus on Donnie. Zipping in front of her, he kept his eyes on his phone. Probably looking at his brothers’ locations, or maybe checking on Splinter’s antibiotic dosages. April jogged faster to catch up to him. She placed her hand on his shoulder, making him flitch at the sudden sensation of warmth. “Talk to me. Please? I’m worried about you. You’ve been working non-stop for weeks, and now with this happening—.”

 

Donatello snapped around, his voice more irritated than he intended. “And who’s going to be the one to make sure Splinter gets better? Who’s the one who’s going to have to re-analyze Mikey’s blood samples to make sure that this drug isn’t going to get himself killed? Forget it, just forget it. We need to get to Leatherhead’s.”

 

April felt a sting of guilt. With her internship taking up most of her time, she really hasn’t been around the turtles as much as she used to always be. If someone didn’t force Donnie to take a break, he would be working himself sick. _Just like he is now…_

 

Trying to stop him wouldn’t help. He was right, as much as she hated to admit it. Leatherhead could be hurt. And with Who-Knows-Who drugging Mikey, they do need to get to the bottom of it before it gets lethal. She knew she couldn’t stop his worrying, but she had to at least reassure him. Continuing to keep up with his pace, she reached for his arm and tugged it tight. “Okay, Mr. Sassy. Keep it up and I’ll cut off your caffeine.”

 

Fighting the urge to laugh, Donnie allowed himself to chuckle. “Good luck with that. You underestimate me, y’know. Come on, it’s right here.” Turning down the tunnel toward Leatherhead’s, a sudden chill stopped Donatello in his tracks. Holding his arm out protectively in front of April, he quickly shined his light around the area. A loud thumb echoed in the tunnels, making it harder for Donatello to found the source. “Do you hear that?”

 

April blinked. “Hear what?”

 

“Over there.” Treading toward the end of the dark tunnel, he flashed his light over. Standing as tall as ever was Leatherhead, who was rapidly searching the tunnels. “Not exactly discreet, Leatherhead.”

 

“Donatello! Ms. O’Niell!” Leatherhead walked up to the two. “Michelangelo! I-I tried to follow him but—!”

 

“Whoa, whoa. It’s okay, Leatherhead. The others are getting him.” Shinning his light, he began to see triples of blood dripping from a deep cut on Leatherhead’s arm. “Leatherhead! Your arm! What happened? Did Mikey…?”

 

“No,” Leatherhead said briskly. “No. After your brother ran out I chased after him, hoping I could settle him. Then, I realized that Michelangelo was no longer running from me. But from someone else.”

 

“Someone else?” April echoed, stepping closer to see Leatherhead’s wound. “Did you see where this guy came from?”

 

“I know these tunnels well, and even though I am getting older my senses are still sharp. There was no one with us when Michelangelo and I went to my home. I knew Michelangelo was heading away from your home, so I hopped to cut him off in one of the other tunnels to catch him off guard. By the time I caught up to him, there was someone attacking him—badly, from what I saw. I watched your brother try to fight back, but he was struggling. I immediately went to attack the stranger, warning Michelangelo to flee. He was dressed in black, I could not see his face, but he struck me. He was too quick, by the time I recovered he was long gone. I hoped to return to you all, but I have let you down. Forgive me, Donatello.”

 

“Leatherhead, you did everything you could. You saved Mikey, that guy could have got him.” Taking a closer look at Leatherhead’s arm, he said, “Maybe you should come back with us and let me wrap that for you. Just so it doesn’t get infected.”

 

“Thank you, Donatello, but I insist on doing it myself. Besides, I was almost done cracking the encryption code on the device you left for me. I will give you a call as soon as it’s done. Go, take care of your family. I will be alright.”

 

“Thanks, Leatherhead. I should give the others a head’s up about this guy though.” Turning on his earpiece, he quickly connected to the others. “Guys, Donnie here. Leatherhead is okay but he said someone following Mikey was down here attacked him. This guy could be a lead. Keep your eyes peeled for him.”

 

“Casey and I just finished putting the Dragons in their place. We’re heading back. Raph? Did you and Mikey get back?”

 

Silence.

 

“Raph? Mikey?”

 

The painful silence was broken by a deep, emotionless voice. “So incompetent, Leonardo. I expected better from you.”

 

_Typical, using a machine to hide their voice._ Quickly Donnie began punching in commands on his phone to trace the signal. A notification reading, “BLOCKED”, popped on the screen. _Didn’t think it would be easy, after all._

 

_What the shell? Maybe Donnie can trace the call, I got to keep him talking._ Pacing forward, Leonardo gripped his katana instinctively as he looked around his surroundings. “Who is this? Where are my brothers?”

 

The voice chuckled menacingly. “You still haven’t figured it out yet, Donatello? So predictable. The pacifist. The fixer-upper. You’re weak. You think you can suffice for your ‘team’ by being the provider. You can’t even solve the answers I have clearly given you. Maybe once this is all done, I can still use your brain for research. I’m sure that’ll suffice for your lack of performance.”

 

_He knows us. He knows me._ Donatello let the words sink in, fighting to keep his focus on hacking. He knew April and Leatherhead could hear the conversation, he felt her reach out to him to comfort. He didn’t have time for that. He had to focus. He had to catch him. _If it’s not the Shredder or Karai…It can’t be Bishop. He was killed. There’s no way. And yet…_

 

Leonardo’s voice grew darker, his rage beginning to stir inside him. No one talks to his brother like that and gets away with it. No one. “Enough of this! You’re nothing but a coward. Hiding behind words and games, if you want something from me then just stop playing around and show yourself!”

 

“Oh, so intimating, Leonardo.” The voice mocked. “The ‘Fearless Leader’. The one who abandoned his family, twice might I add, to ‘better himself’. The prodigal son. Always trying to be the best to prove yourself worthy, honorable. To who, I ponder? Yourself? That rat you call a father? Your brothers? But I digress. You’ll want to find your brothers I assume. I’ll be seeing you all shortly. Do take care.”

 

“No!” Leonardo punched the fence next to him. How could he let him slip away again? Allowing himself to compose, he asked, “Donnie, did you get the signal? Where are Raph and Mikey?”

 

“His signal is blocked. I couldn’t trace it. He was also blocking calls from Raph and Mikey, they tried to call us twice during our little chat. Their GPS trackers say they’re near the lair—.”

 

“Casey and I are heading back right now. Patch them in.” He knew he shouldn’t let the words sink in him, and nether should Donnie. Right now he just needed to see his family in one piece, and together, before anything gets worse.

 

/./././././././././././././

 

Overwhelmed would be an understatement. Michelangelo could barley piece together what just happened, let alone how he went from talking to Leatherhead to standing in the junkyard with his brothers and Casey. His head pounded, the cuts and bruises on his arms began to burn, he still felt wobbly on his feet—and his memory was terrible. _I remember the Shredder…Did I fight him? He killed my family. Now they’re here, but I wasn’t really here here? Geez, won’t anything make sense anymore?_

“Let’s go!” Suddenly a forceful pull leads Michelangelo toward Raphael as they began fleeing the area. Running ahead, Raphael turned back and called out, “Mikey! Can you keep up?”

 

“Saying that I’m trying would understatement, Raphie-boy!” Every step he took felt like he was taking one back, literally. While his vision was still blurred, he had to keep moving. _I’m so sick of this stupid drug! I just want to go back home and eat a real pizza and just forget this ever happened!_

“Over here!” Quick-stepping toward the sewer entrance, he opened the top and gestured Mikey to head down. Michelangelo watched as Raph’s eyes began to study him. Raphael sighed, looking at his younger brother’s arms. “Are ya gonna be able to with your shoulder—?”

 

“I’m not a complete lost cause, geez!” Mikey waved dramatically at him, beginning to climb down the ladder. “I can climb down a ladder!”

 

“Ugh.” Raphael rolled his eyes as he followed down after his brother. Shining his light he continued moving forward. “Lucky for us we aren’t too far from home.”

 

“Y-Yeah, sounds good, bro.”

 

“Look,” Raphael sighed. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what was going on in his brother’s head. He couldn’t even wrap his own head around it, let alone watching Michelangelo suffer like he is. It was cruel. Knowing what you were doing in one moment, then blinking, and finding yourself questioning what’s real? _It ain’t right. He shouldn’t be livin’ that way._ “I know this is a lot on ya. And coming home to Leo and Donnie is gonna be smothering, but…I promise ya, we’re gonna get to the bottom of this. Ya gonna get better, and everything’s gonna go back to normal. Okay?”

 

Michelangelo smiled. Even when things get messed up, Raphael always seems to hold his ground. He wouldn’t ever let someone else see him falter; he was always the one to keep everyone together, even though he never vocalizes it. He caught up next to his brother, still smiling. “Thanks, Raph.”

 

Raphael couldn’t help but shake the bad feeling he was getting. He looked at his brother carefully. He was still tugging at his shoulder, knowing it’s hurting him more than he’s letting on. Still, he felt better knowing at least he was right next to him. This time, he won’t let anything happen again. _We need to get to the bottom of this. He has to remember something. Anything._ “Are ya okay? The last time I saw ya, it didn’t look like you were getting attacked by cats.”

 

“Heh. Funny.” Mikey shrugged. “Yeah, I’ve been wondering myself, dude. I…I don’t know. I remember talking to Leatherhead. I remember you guys calling me. Then, like, I couldn’t remember who you were. That’s when everything got really fuzzy…”

 

“What do you mean you couldn’t remember who we were? You couldn’t recognize us?” Raphael mused. _Explains his freak-out in his room, and the mirror. Is someone trying to condition him to forget about us?_

 

“Yeah…It..It happened before I think too. I remember the Shredder attacking me, the foot soldiers attacking me you all—Ugh!” Michelangelo clenched his shoulder tightly. The bandaging had already fallen off, not helping much from keeping it getting roughed up. _Aw, man Donnie’s gonna kill me._

 

_“Not if I don’t get to it first.”_

“Raph? Did you say something?” He knew it wasn’t his brother. He just hoped that maybe he wasn’t totally loosing his mind.

 

Raphael shined his light toward Michelangelo, studying his brother carefully. Shaking his head, he said. “No? Why? Did ya here something?”

 

Michelangelo hesitated. He knew if he didn’t admit to hearing something, the next think he knows he’ll be in a ditch somewhere contemplating again what had happened. But, on the other hand, Mikey knew that if he did tell Raph about the weird-creepy-voices that he’ll go on full worried mode. _And he’s definitely more irritable that way…_

It began to build up more and more inside of him. Raphael stood directly in front of him, clearly waiting for him to answer. Everything that happened. It was like it was on the tip of his tongue, and yet no words came out. _Maybe I can remember what happened…Come on! Think! Okay, you were with Leatherhead. Donnie called all of us. Then he said that the lair was never ambushed. Then-!_

“Oookay, ya creeping me out now. You good?”

 

“Huh? Yeah, I’m just trying to…” A light blub went off in his head. It was like a bunch of blocks stacking together, everything began to slowly come back. Words began to pop back in his head, one by one. “WAIT! A note. Leo. He found a note didn’t he?”

 

Raphael halted. A chill went down his spine as he turned back to face his brother. Michelangelo tilted his head, rubbing his template as his eyes still focused on Raph. He slowly asked, “How do ya know that?”

 

“I…Left that note for him.”

 

/././././././././././././././././

  
“They should be back by now.”

 

Leonardo paced around the lair at least a dozen more times. After returning without any of the others back yet, he paced toward Splinter’s room. Finding him resting peacefully comforted him, even for a brief moment. He always found peace whenever he was with his father, knowing his guidance and support will carry everyone through the darkest time. But, what about his own?

 

_Clenching his father’s hand tightly, Leonardo fought any emotion that was urging him to break. “Father. You will get better. You can’t say things like that.”_

_“Regardless of when it comes, my son, the day will come when I can no longer live. You must always be prepared for that. Have faith in your self, just as your brothers have faith in you.”_

“They’re close, Leo. I’ve had my eyes on their trackers since you asked me where they were two minutes ago.” Donatello perked his head up from his laptop, slightly shrugging in his seat. He thought running Mikey’s blood analysis again could help clear up exactly what’s been going on in his system. Returning back to his computer, focusing back on what he was typing. “Besides, Leatherhead messaged me and said he almost decoded the device.”

 

April, holding two cups of coffee, rushed from the kitchen. Handing one to Leo, she sighed. “Do you think Karai was telling you the truth, Leo? All this manipulation seems like her forte.”

 

Smiling at April, nodding thankfully for the drink, he hesitated to answer. He knew the question was more of a trap. In a sense, he understood Karai. It wasn’t like she knew any better, the Shredder raised her—she was his daughter. To her, he was family. Yet, she recognizes what he does and supports him. Leonardo truly felt like she was telling the truth. Taking a sip of coffee, he looked back up at the others. He said bluntly, “This is way too elaborate. No, I don’t think she or the Foot have anything to do with this.”

 

“You guys should seriously have an Excel spreadsheet of who and when each psychopath attacks you.” Casey sat next to April on the couch, putting one arm over the couch and the other on her shoulder. “At least then you can keep track of when you’re gonna get attacked next and by whom!”

 

“Maybe it’s the lack of caffeine in my system,” Donatello smirked, laughing more so at himself then at Casey. “But maybe he has a point after all.”

 

“Yo!” Raphael jogged into the lair. Throwing the flashlight on the other couch, he quickly looked back at Mikey who was walking much more slowly behind him.

 

“Raph, were you guys okay?” Leonardo noticed how stiff Raphael held himself. He knew it shouldn’t have taken them that long to return; something must have happened. Donnie was already on his feet, handing his laptop to April he quickly rushed over to Mikey. He was already checking his cuts and shoulder, before Mikey pulled away and rushed up to Leo.

 

Michelangelo looked completely drained. _We have to help him. We have to get to the bottom of this._ Leo placed his hand on Mikey’s other shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. “I’m happy to see you’re okay are you—?”

 

“Leo,” Mikey said in a shaky voice, his eyes darting to the floor. “I…I remember what happened. It’s like, really, really choppy but I remember pieces of it. Like watching a T.V show when you’re half asleep except you really wanna watch it but you sleep anyway and you remember bits and pieces of it like how it ends but it’s a nagging feeling of you trying to remember what happened and-!”

 

“Mikey, it’s okay. Just take a breath, and start from the beginning. You remember what happened. What can you remember?”

 

“I remember my cell ringing. Hearing your voices, but not being able to tell who was talking. Then I attacked Leatherhead, I think? I…I ran off. I met with someone. I don’t know who, but he attacked me and was telling me to do something, UGH! I can’t remember. But I saw you. I saw you, Raph, and Casey on top of the rooftop. I left a note for you. But he…he said I couldn’t be seen, so I ran. Then the voices came back, I…I thought I got you all killed. And then…I saw you guys and then, like, BAM. Everything was normal again.”

 

Leonardo stood completely, and eerily still. His eyes never faltered away from Michelangelo. While his posture was steady, his mind was running a thousand miles a minute. _Someone is trying to control his thoughts. Condition him to forget about us…And it’s working. How can that even happen?!_

 

Standing next to him, Raphael’s arms were crossed as he looked over at Donnie then back at Leo. Mikey probably already told Raphael already, he was just waiting to see what would unfold from it.

 

“G-Guys?” Mikey’s voice perked, his eyes now frantically looking at each of them. “Okay, like, I’m already freaking out enough! Someone please say something!”

 

“We’re going to get to the bottom of this, Mikey.” Leonardo narrowed his eyes, saying comfortingly, “Trust me. You aren’t responsible for any of this. Donnie, is Leatherhead done decoding the device?”

 

“Y-Yeah,” Donnie grabbed his laptop from April and began opening the file. “Like I thought, there was a message written in there.” Turning his laptop to face the others, a picture of a note appeared in the same format as the previous one.

 

Leonardo read the message aloud, “The diabolic sometimes adopts the appearance of good, or even embodies itself completely therein.” (2)

 

“The fuck does that even mean?” Raphael snarled. “Whoever is messing around with us is going to pay!”

 

“That’s the question of the hour.” Donatello commented, narrowing his eyes at the message. “Leatherhead believes the technology is Bishop’s.”

 

“I thought he went back to the underground?” April asked, “It’s been almost a year, why would he suddenly be interested in you guys again?”

 

“I mean,” Mikey smiled smugly, gesturing toward himself. “Look at us! We’re irresistible! Except Raph. He’s a little too stiff if ya know what I mean- OW!”

 

Raphael growled, smacking his youngest brother over the head. He knew he shouldn’t have done it, considering what’s happening, but Leo wanted everything back to normal didn’t he? “Drugged or not, doofus, you better can it before I permanently make ya stiff six feet under!”

 

“Raph!” Leo and Donnie’s voices echoed, both of them giving him a reprimanding look. Raphael shrugged, clearly unaffected by their disapproval glances.

 

For the first time in a long time, Michelangelo laughed. Smiling from ear to ear, he chuckled, “You should see the look on your faces!”

 

Donnie couldn’t help but smile. It’s been so long since they heard him laugh. For a moment, it felt like things were back to normal. Suddenly his smile faded. Something wasn’t right. Looking at his younger brother’s arms, he recognized a puncture wound. _Oh no._ “Mikey?” He asked carefully, slowly reaching for his arm. “Can I just take a look at your cuts for a second?”

 

“I’m fine, dude.” Mikey shrugged, holding out his arm for his brother. “I mean, I don’t remember where I got these from but I honestly feel better. Maybe it’s wearing off?”

 

“That looks like an injection cut,” Donnie said slowly as he turned to face others. “Whoever he was with may have put the drug back in his system when it was wearing off. That’s probably why he remembers bits and pieces. If there’s a chance of him relapsing again…”

 

“Regardless, the drug is causing him to have no recollection of where and who you were around.” Leonardo mused as he crossed his arms. “And the fact that you didn’t recognize any of us. This isn’t just a hallucination drug. Someone is trying to alter your thinking and emotions toward us. I’m…” His voice dropped, his eyes softening toward Mikey, “I’m worried about you. It’s like in one minute you’re yourself, and in the next you’re attacking and running off to God knows where.”

 

“So what? It’s not like you would have been trusting of me if I wasn’t drugged, anyway.” Mikey felt the sting of his words. It was impulsive, but he knew that’s what he was thinking. Seeing Leonardo’s face drop, guilty couldn’t begin to describe his feeling. He knew he shouldn’t have said that, before he could speak Leo beat him to the punch.

 

“Mikey,” His voice softened, clearly trying to not sound as hurt as he felt. “That’s not what I meant at all. I, we, are all here to help you. Don’t doubt that.”

 

“I know…Sorry, Leo.” Mikey said sheepishly. _Geez, I knew I shouldn’t have said that. It felt like I thought and spoke it at the same time. Maybe I am going crazy._ “I’m just so freakin’ done with all this! Don, you can make it go away, right?”

 

“I…Don’t know if I can make it completely go away,” Donnie sighed, looking back at his computer. “I’ve been looking over your last blood analysis a dozen times and I still can’t trace what else is in your system. I don’t want to give you something that could contradict whatever else is in there. Really all I can say is time, lots of liquids, and sleep. Both times you blacked out, it began with you feeling dizzy and nauseous right? We just got to be sure to avoid any high levels of stress or emotion that could possibly trigger another hallucination. As far as the ‘forgetting-who-we-are’ part…?”

 

“If Bishop is really the one behind it, he’s got to have a team behind him.” Casey said. “Probably the Dragons, it’s convenient of them to show up right when we find Mikey, right?”

 

“Or,” April countered. “He was just paying the Dragons to play distraction for you guys. They’ll do anything for some decent cash. Regardless, it’s a place to start.”

 

“Again?” Raphael moaned. “Hell no, I’m not wasting another damn minute on those assholes. They ain’t smart enough to pull this off.”

 

“We’ll figure it out. Mikey, let’s go to my lab and get you checked out, okay?” Donnie carried his laptop back to the lab.

 

“Okay, Dr. Donnie, whatever you say!” Mikey shrugged, reaching for his shoulder again he slowly followed behind him.

 

“April, Casey, you guys should head back before it gets any later.” Leonardo offered. “I promise, we’ll call if anything happens.”

 

“Are you sure?” Casey frowned. “If this is Bishop doing his fucking games again…”

 

“We don’t want you guys getting hurt again.” April said as-matter-of-factly. The two remember well what happened the last time Bishop got his hands on all four of them. How close they were to being cut up into tiny little pieces, _literally._

 

“I promise,” Leo reassured. “I’ll give you guys a call if anything comes up. We all need rest.”

 

After saying goodbyes to Casey and April, the lair got eerily quiet. _I didn’t realize how late it got…_ Leonardo sighed, turning to Raphael. “He might relapse again.”

 

“I know.” Raphael said quietly.

 

“He might not remember us next time. Raph, what are we going to do if he-?”

 

“It ain’t gonna come to that, Fearless. He’s a lot tougher than ya think.”

 

“We need to watch over him. Take shifts in sleeping. We can’t have him leaving the lair again like last time. You rest first, once Donnie is done with him I’ll sit in his room.”

 

Raphael reluctantly agreed. He hoped, for his brother’s sake, that everything he told Leo was enough. Enough for them to make it through the night. Enough for Mikey to be able to pull out of this. He knew a fight would come sooner or later, it always did. There was no other choice than to be prepared for it.

But to be prepared for whatever Bishop has in store for his brother? What that psychopath wants it to come down to?

 

_Oh, hell no. I ain’t gonna let that happen. None of us are._

 /././././././././././././././

“The specimen is reacting well, better than I expected. His willpower is stronger than I give him credit for.”

 

“You underestimated him, all of them. They’re close. Too close.”

 

“Exactly. Soon, his thoughts, emotions, memories—I can alter everything.”

 

“Then what?”

 

“I will make them beg for their demise.”

 

/././././././././././././././././


	8. Chapter 8 // "Recuperate"

/././././././././././././././././

 

“Stop flinching, Mikey! I told you it’d sting more if you fuss around like that…”

 

“It’s not my fault! I didn’t consciously think, ‘Oh man let me make Donnie’s day and mess up his perfect bandage and make it worse for me that sounds like a lot of fun’! Give me some slack, dude, I didn’t mean to!”

 

“I know, I’m just messing with you. There, done. Once again.” Tightly wrapping the final bandage over his shoulder he couldn’t help but look at Mikey’s puncture mark. He knew it was inevitable for Mikey to relapse again. Depending on how much is in his system can determine whether or not he could come back this time. Donnie knew Mikey was really upset over everything and didn’t want to jump him right back into tests. He smiled warmly as he sat beside his younger brother. “You know….You can talk to me. I still have to run a couple of blood tests on you and would rather talk then sit in silence like you did last time with me.”

 

Mikey shrugged. His eyes stayed glued to the floor. A part of him hoped that if he ignored it long enough that he wouldn’t have to talk about it. After all, what else could he say? He knew he wasn’t making things easier for his brothers. He can’t help it; it’s not like he doesn’t want to remember. Hell, it terrified him.

 

Donatello watched his brother’s hesitation. Mikey was usually very verbal about what he’s feeling, making it strange for his outspoken brother to remain silent. Rising from his seat he began cleaning up all of the medical supplies. He cleared his throat, “So, Master Splinter is doing a lot better.”

“That’s good.” Mikey said absentmindedly. _What if I suddenly blackout again? What if I actually hurt someone? What if he hurt his family?_ Shaking his head from his thoughts, he grabbed one of Donnie’s stress balls and began tossing it in the air and catching it. He remembered when he got Donnie it a couple of years ago on Christmas. He meant it as a half joke, and half a sign to (in his own words) ‘use this to chill out and don’t take it the wrong way either!’. Needless to say Donnie didn’t appreciate his pun, but he has caught him tossing it in the air aimlessly every now and then.

 

At least doing something kept his mind from racing. Mikey noticed Donnie returning to his computer, silently focusing on whatever he was reading. He knew how much pressure Donnie was under. He hated adding any more stress to him, but in the long run, Donnie would be the one who’d listen to him.

 

“Hey, do you remember that time the four of us snuck out of the lair to watch the fireworks?” Donnie pondered. A small smile stretched across his face. His eyes remained on his computer screen. “It was Fourth of July? We had to be what, like ten?”

 

“Yeah,” Mikey smirked. “I wouldn’t stop bugging you guys to go. Raph and I were going to sneak out at first, until you wanted to see it too and that got Leo right along with us. We’ve snuck out before so we were pretty cocky about it, huh?”

 

Donnie laughed, shaking his head. “You were so excited. I thought Raph was going to shove your face in the sewer water. We had a lot of fun. Even though Raph and Leo bickered for most of the way there and back.”

 

“Man, I think my arms are still aching from our punishment that Master Splinter made us do!” A push up for every minute they weren’t home. That didn’t seem too bad, until he made them repeat it over and over and again. And when training began two hours earlier than usual. He remembered how mad his brothers were about their punishment.

 

“Leo got in a lot of trouble for it, though.” Donnie sighed. “You know, I know it’s not my place to say, but...” He paused as he turned his chair over to face Mikey.

 

He was the observer, it was his job. He had to be the one to fix his brothers up after a fight. He was the one to back up Leo in a situation. Hell, Splinter made him head-of-house for a year and half. He wondered if Raphael ever felt insulted. Maybe he’ll never know, but playing ‘leader’ was enough for him to respect and understand where Leo comes from. Does Leo feel the pressure every single day they’re out on the streets? Or has it just been so numbed for all these years?

 

At least when Leo couldn’t, Donnie knew he Raph’s focus straight. Raphael’s trust in his brothers is deep, but no matter what he knew that Raphael would always back up any plan that he had. Sure, he’d interrogate and question Leo on his philosophical leadership decisions—but not with him. Raphael trusted in Donnie’s thought and action, and backs him up no matter the end result.

 

And when his plan didn’t go the way he want, he knew he’d have Mikey to make light of the situation. That was Mikey’s job—even if the jokes and the complaining were irritating, he kept everyone’s sense of humor and optimism alive. It was an unspoken promise amongst himself, Raphael, and Leonardo to always look out for Mikey. Of course, being the second youngest brother, he knew that too applied to him. But with Mikey? It wasn’t that they didn’t trust his skill at all—it was _who_ he is. The light in the darkest times, the one in all this darkest to never loose his sense of self.

 

Mikey never left for a year and half to a jungle in complete isolation until he was in complete perfection. Training every single minute until he felt he was worthy enough to see his own family again. Hell, sometimes he feels that Leo still beats himself up everyday for every single mistake he makes. He hated thinking about what Leo could be feeling now…

 

Mikey never went off in the dead of night alone to create a new identity for himself, hiding the guilt and shame he felt he brought. _Even Turtle Titan didn’t see and do the things I know Raphael had to do. I mean, look what happened when Leo confronted him…_ Donnie wouldn’t dare ask details, or even bring up what happened, but the looks on their faces were enough to ensure the severity of it.

 

Mikey never had to witness the complete and utter destruction of their city, friends, and each other. Watching the pain and agony that each of his brothers faced in that terrible alternate universe—He would never wish for any of his brothers to see what he saw. To watch your brothers be slaughtered in front of your eyes? Whether he liked to think about it or not, that changed him.

 

True, together they faced unspeakable dangers and trials as a team. But, Mikey has had to the blessing to never experience the darkness. _Yet._

 

It was that thought, and that alone that scared Donnie. Donnie couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ , let the same thing happen to his baby brother—he was going to fix this.

 

“Uh?” Mikey mused, anxiously waiting for his brother to finish his thought. “Dude, don’t leave me hanging. What’s up?”

 

Leo was the leader. Raph was the fighter, the protector. Mikey was the heart.

 

_“The pacifist. The fixer-upper. You’re weak. You think you can suffice for your ‘team’ by being the provider…Maybe when this is all done, I can still use your brain for research. I’m sure that’ll suffice for your lack of performance.”_

Donnie cursed himself for letting this guy get in his head like this. There were bigger things to worry about than some insults. Shaking his head, he looked back at his computer screen to examine the blood sample for the umpteenth time. “Nothing. Just thinking that’s all. You must be exhausted, Mikey. Why don’t you try and sleep for a bit?”

 

“Uh…Donnie?” Mikey’s voice cracked. Standing up, he leaned against his brother’s desk. His composure tensed up as he anxiously reached for Donnie’s stress ball. “Uh, can you do something for me?”

 

“Hm? What’s up?”

 

“If- I mean when,” Mikey corrected himself. His tone was deep, his eyes looking back at his brother. “When I blackout, or whatever, again? I want you to…do whatever you can to stop me from hurting anyone. Or hurting you guys…I don’t want to-.”

 

“Mikey, that’s not going to happen.” Donnie reassured.

 

“Would you listen to me for a freakin’ minute? Stop lying! You just said it might happen again! Stop pacifying me with what I want to hear, and let me say what I have to say, damn it!” Mikey didn’t mean to snap. But, hell, how could Donnie stare at him and lie to his face? He could feel the pit of his stomach turn. _Is this how Raph felt every time I annoy him?_ No, this was different. Donnie knew. Leo and Raph did too. He was most likely going to lash out again—maybe, he won’t come back this time.

 

This caught Donatello off-guard. Turning his chair to face his brother, he watched as Mikey rose to his feet and paced back and forth. It was his habit—Leo’s was staring in silence, Raph’s was getting in your face until he intimates an answer from you ( _Very strategic at times_ )—he knew himself well enough to know that sometimes he can be a blunt and be stand-offish depending. Pacing at least help Mikey gather his thoughts, sure he can be impulsive especially with his feelings. Mikey on defense isn’t pretty.

 

But, just maybe, he needed this. Instead of criticizing him for lashing out, maybe Mikey should be talking about it. _Leo’s got a lot going on in his own head, and Raph can sometimes come off too strong—Mikey always listens to me. Hell, we never argue. But with Master Splinter being ill, and now all this? Can’t he see that we’re all doing our best to help him?_

_Leo’s doing his best to keep himself from cracking under the pressure. Sure, he can be a little stubborn and cruel even—but that’s the responsibility he carries from keeping us safe. Mikey should know that, so why’s he acting like Leo’s against him?_

_Raph’s doing his best from beating the crap out of everything and everyone, including himself. He’s hard to show, but seeing Mikey like this is freaking him out. I saw the way he looked at me when Mikey was explaining what happened. He was looking at me, **me** , to tell him an answer. I think not knowing is getting to him._

_And me? Who else is going to make Master Splinter better? Who else can run a blood analysis while making sure that I don’t give Splinter a overdose of antibiotics? Everyone wants me to give answers, results—!_

 

_“The pacifist. The fixer-upper. You’re weak. You think you can suffice for your ‘team’ by being the provider…Maybe when this is all done, I can still use your brain for research. I’m sure that’ll suffice for your lack of performance.”_

Donnie felt himself grow more and more frustrating. Raising his voice, he snapped back, “I **am** listening to you! Damn it, Mikey, can’t you see that I’m trying here? All of us, we just want you to be okay! What don’t you get about that? I get it-.”

 

“No, you don’t. Stop saying you understand!” Mikey was done pacing. Standing firm, he crossed his arms and approached Donnie.

 

“I wasn’t trying to say I did! I want to understand, but most importantly I want to get you better. And so do Leo, Raph, Sensei, and everyone else. We’re all worried, and we all—well, you know, show it differently. We’re figuring it out, but that doesn’t mean we’d just leave you when this gets too hard…And, you know, I do know what it’s like to not remember what you’re doing. To turn into something you’re not…”

 

_Aw, crap. How could I forget?_ Donatello’s mutation.

 

“I know you were kidding when you told me that I…Heh, tried to eat your leg. But, at the time, I was terrified. I kept thinking to myself, ‘What if I actually hurt him?’, ‘What if I would never get a cure?’, ‘What if Leo has to…put me down?’. Sometimes, I still wonder if I’ll ever relapse again too. What if I ever get another infection, and what if the cure wouldn’t help me and I stayed like that for good? Of course, we have different experiences, but I understand that panic. But you want to know what got me through it? You. And Leo. And Raph. And everyone else too. You got me to laugh about it again, you helped me feel like everything I was experiencing was normal. I was, and still am, so grateful for that.”

 

Mikey finally took a few steps back, his eyes back down at the floor. He hated fighting, he hated yelling—could this be the last memory has of his brother? Yelling at him when all he wanted to do was help? _This isn’t me…I want Donnie and everyone to be happy again. I want to get better, I want Donnie to finally be able to take a break from all this. Good job, Mikey! Now you got Donnie being all sentimental and upset. Good job._

Mikey’s voice lightened. “Yeah, I’m sorry, I really am. I just…I want this to stop. I don’t want to hurt you, or anyone else. It’s my fault for getting myself drugged. I just…I’m sorry.”

 

“Even if you begin…hallucinating again, Leo talked you back, remember? You’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. You just have to trust in us, and yourself. I’m doing the best I can to try and find some kind of antidote to help you—even if I can’t, we know you were probably drugged again recently. We are more aware now, and as long as we keep an eye on you and the lair we’ll just let it wear off. Okay?”

 

“Okay..I’m…I’m sorry, Donnie.”

 

Smiling, Donnie placed his hand on his younger brother’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s no worries. You needed to let it out. You better head to bed before Leo thinks something’s wrong. If you need me I’ll probably be here, April’s coffee always manages to keep me awake I have no idea what she puts in it.”

 

“Na, I think just because it’s her. She always gives you that extra ‘jolt’, huh?”

 

“I’m feeling awfully generous and allowing that one to slide, oh brother of mine. Sleep well, Mikey.”

 

“Yeah. Thanks, Don. Goodnight, bro.”

/././././././././././././././ 

“So, Leo’s taking the first shift. Then it’ll be me, then you.”

 

“I’m always last. I’m awake now, why can’t I just take first?”

 

“Cause’ ya never sleep, Don. And ya know how Leo’s been—good luck trying to change his mind.”

 

It didn’t matter how late it got. Raphael still felt the urge to just run topside and investigate every single Purple Dragon **_and_** Foot hotspot. How could he rest when someone is potentially plotting another attack? It just didn’t feel right.

 

Donnie stretched as he rose from his seat. “Well, you can’t blame me for wanting to try. How’s Leo? I saw you two talking before Mikey came in.”

 

“Eh, the usual. He’s giving himself another ulcer, I’m pissed off. I think we should be out trying to find an answer before Mikey—well, before anything else happens, ya know?”

 

“Yeah. I feel like every time I come close to finding another answer there’s always something else. Hell, I’m even trying to analyze the notes and hope that maybe there’s an encryption in it.” The skeptical look on Raphael’s face caused Donnie to grimace. Sighing he began shutting down his computer. “Don’t look at me like that. It helps. I’m keeping the security sensors on just in case, and I have the tracker set so that if he steps foot outside the lair that we’d know.”

 

Saying their goodnights, Raphael finally returned to his room and collapsed on his bed. Hopefully, sleep will be enough to get his mind off for a while.

/././././././././././././././ 

“My son, I’m thankful for your safe return.”

 

Splinter smiled warmly as he sat up in his bed. Once Splinter’s vitals began improving, Donatello felt comfortable enough to have Sensei back on his own without any machines hooked up. He looked a lot stronger; at least the medication was working. But still, Leonardo still couldn’t shake that sense of dread from Splinter’s last talk with him.

 

_“I trust you, my son. You know your brothers well. You will take care of them. Have faith, Leonardo. Just as I have faith in you.”_

It was a cold hard fact that crossed his mind in cases like these—that they were going to die one day. It was one of the first lessons he remembers learning. As a leader, one must accept fate as it comes. Hell, living the lifestyle he and his brothers do, Leonardo too knew the fact that he would not die warm in his bed. It’s a fact that his brothers probably knew too. But, it was an unspoken truth. It would be done for family—and that makes it okay.

 

_“Oh, so intimidating, Leonardo. The ‘Fearless Leader’. The one who abandoned his family, twice might I add, to ‘better himself’. The prodigal son. Always trying to be the best, to prove yourself worthy, honorable. To who, I ponder? Yourself? That rat you call a father? Your brothers?”_

_No. This is not the time to think about something some lowlife said._

“But I am deeply troubled with what you have told me. I fear for your safeties, especially Michelangelo. If he can be blinded to the point where he can no longer recognize us—there is a chance we may loose him.”

 

He had to keep his mind focused on his family. Approaching Splinter, he sat on the chair beside him. “Yes, father. Raph, Donnie, and myself are switching off to stay up tonight just in case. Donnie still has that tracker on Mikey and doubled the security systems, including the camera, just in case. Leatherhead seemed to believe that Bishop’s involved somehow. But, he’s been silent for almost a year. The Dragons rumored that he got assassinated—why now? I just don’t understand. We have no leads.”

 

“If it is in fact Agent Bishop, the only lead he wants you to see is the one you refuse to follow.” Splinter sighed deeply as he shook his head. “He wants to use your brother against us all…”

 

“There has to be a way to get in without doing that!” His voice cracked. His voice was desperate. “He’s got to have a place in the city. He called us, maybe Donnie can track it. I should have kept a closer eye on him, on all of them. I promise, father, I fix this.”

 

“My son, do not blame yourself. We all must work together to be sure there is no danger. In the morning, I will mediate with Michelangelo. Perhaps, he will be able to recall more information about what he experienced. For now, we all must rest. Including yourself, Leonardo.”

 

“Yes, Sensei.”

 

Maybe he too was getting a lit be wiser, Leonardo mused. It was like the calm before the storm, they both knew it would only get worse.

 

And yet, his father’s comforting words made him feel like it would all get better.

 

_I suppose that’s the humor of life. The humor of our lives._

/./././././././././././././

 

Leaving his brother’s lab, Michelangelo couldn’t help but shake his anxiety. How could he just go to sleep knowing what could happen, and more importantly, what he’s capable of? Though he never talked about it, he hated feeling like such a burden to the rest of his family. He could carry his own, and his proven that more times than he thought. Sure, he likes to boast a little about his Battle Nexus Champion status, but he never meant harm in it. He just wanted his brothers to be proud of him.

 

Walking up to his room, it was no surprise that waiting outside his door was Leonardo. Leaning against the door, arms crossed, he looked like he was waiting there for some time.

 

“Is this the part when you take out your sword and say, ‘You shall not pass’?”

 

Leo looked up from his own thoughts. With a warm smile he examined his brother’s bandage. “I’ve been wondering what took you so long. Everything go okay with Donnie?” He heard the argument, but Leo knew not to get himself involved. He’s learned when to get involved, and when to leave it to them to settle out.

 

_Oh, gee, Leo. Besides a few heated moments, me being a complete selfish jerk, and feeling like crap?_

“Oh yeah, he fixed me up. Well, not the drug part but, hey, you win some you lose some, you know?” Shrugging, Leonardo stepped aside as Mikey entered his room. He almost forgot about the condition he left it in. The glass was all picked up though, he figured that was probably Donnie or Leo. His bed was still disheveled, even more so then before. His lamp didn’t break at least; it looked like that was picked up too. Suddenly, a memory popped into his head. _My journal. Oh no, my sketches. It’s not here! Aw man I worked really hard on those. I thought I threw it at the mirror-?_

“You’re really good you know, at drawing. You captured each of us in such detail it’s really, really, good.”

 

Turning around Mikey found Leonardo flipping through his journal, all **_his_** sketches. He could feel his heard skip a beat. He never, ever, showed anyone his work. Even when they were kids and he drew his own sketch drawing of the Statue of Liberty and he said it looked like a balloon—he never wanted to show his own stuff! And now there was Leo was, casually flipping through the journal! His entire life work!

 

“I-I, uh, well those are just for fun!” Mikey stuttered as he began struggling with Leo to get it back. “Come on, dude! I don’t make you stop training when you like it! Oh wait, sometimes I do, but that doesn’t matter! That’s mine!”

 

“Don’t be so embarrassed, Mikey, I didn’t show anyone else. I knew you liked drawing but I didn’t realize how good you are.” Giving his brother’s journal back, he frowned. “Why did you make me look so mad? Do I always look mad? At least Raph looked focus in his, you made me look like I have issues.”

 

“Aw, you don’t look mad, Leo! That’s your training face! It’s focused! It’s your own kind of focus!”

 

“Right.” Leonardo watched his brother place the journal back on his side dresser, underneath all his comics. Mikey shouldn’t have to hide it, but it was his decision regardless. Clearing his throat he sat on the end of his brother’s bed. “I…I know you’re not going to like hearing this but-.”

 

“You are going to stay up all night and make sure I don’t freak out again? Dude, it’s okay. I figured that. It sucks…” Lying on his back, Mikey stared up at his ceiling. It felt like forever since he actually laid back and took a breath. Glancing over at his nightstand he found the clock glowed 2:00AM. “Hey, Leo? Do you think I will be able to remember? Like, everything that happened…?”

 

Leonardo sighed. “You remembered that note. Maybe you can, but it’s been a long day. You shouldn’t push yourself. You heard Donnie, sleep is a good first step.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

 

“Look, Mikey…”

 

“You don’t have to say anything, bro. I know. Today was just a long day.”

 

“I know it was. But, things between us have been pretty heated throughout the day, huh?” He tried to smile. He wanted to see his little brother laugh again. He hoped that maybe, just maybe, this night would end peacefully and that the drug will wear off by morning. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen.

 

“Yeah, I kinda pushed your buttons, huh?” Mikey chuckled as a yawn escaped his lips. “I really, really, don’t wanna go to sleep, Leo. You’ll, make sure I don’t freak out again, right?”

 

“I’m right here.” Leo reassured. Taking one of Mikey’s old bean-bag chairs he leaned in the chair and rested his head against the wall. “Everything will be okay.”

 

_We’re all here for you, Mikey. And we’re sure as hell not going to let anything happen to you._

/././././././././././././././././


	9. Chapter 9 // "Safe & Sound"

/././././././././././././././././ 

_We all had nightmares as kids. It’s no shocker, really. I mean, even as kids we had pretty vivid imaginations. And we snuck in an occasional horror movie thanks to Raphael and his tripe dog dares—I never did let him forget about the time Mikey snuck in fake bugs into his bed and Raph woke up screaming. It was hysterical._

_Wow. That sounded way crueler than it was then._

_But we all had our own way of fighting off nightmares. I usually tended to keep mine to myself, same with Raph. Unless it bothered me, I’d talk to Splinter. Donnie did have a couple of times where he’d had to sleep with Splinter._

_To help us, Sensei taught us a prayer to say to keep the bad dreams away. Of course, being kids, they still happened. We all eventually grew out of them, or at least fell back asleep._

_Except Mikey._

_It wasn’t until we were older that we realized his nightmares weren’t normal. Mikey’s nightmares turned vicious, and frankly, terrifying. He’d scream so loud it sounded like he was in so much pain. He’d kick and thrash in his bed. No matter what Sensei did, it didn’t stop. It lasted a half hour once, maybe even an hour._

_I’ll never forget his first night terror. We were seven, and all shared a room at the time. The screaming began first. I shot up out of bed, and immediately went beside him. The three of us tried to wake him up. I was so scared, his screams were agonizing. When he began to thrash and kick, we freaked out._

_I remember holding his right arm and leg, while Raph desperately tried holding his other half down. Donnie began to cry. Raph was on the verge of tears himself. Me? I never felt so helpless. It didn’t take long before Splinter rushed in and took over. No matter what we did, he wouldn’t wake up. His eyes were open. We tried calling him and calling him, but it was like none of us were there._

_We thought he was possessed. I remember thinking to myself, is he dying? Did I do something wrong? Why couldn’t I stop this?_

_After almost twenty minutes of it, as quickly as it began, it stopped. Just like that. He was sleeping soundly in Splinter’s arms. We all assumed it was just a really, really bad nightmare. Except, the next morning when we asked Mikey about it, he had no idea what we were talking about._

_I remember looking at Raph and Donnie, all exchanging that same concerning look. None of us told him how bad it was. Scaring him about it wouldn’t help. Raph, Don, and I just decided to let it go._

_Until it happened again a couple of days after._

_With Splinter’s concern, and Donnie’s research, we discovered that Michelangelo suffered from night terrors. Statistically, only 3% of children have night terrors. Children who suffer from night terrors not only have no memory of the event, but also have no recognition who is in the room with them._

_Unfortunately, since there was no way of waking him up, all we could do was wait it out. The older we all got, the more understanding we were. Of course, it’s terrifying being woken up to painful screams, but we eventually knew how to react to it. Usually I was the first to react, I’d jump in the bed with him and just hold him so he didn’t hurt himself. If it got more violent, Raph and Donnie would get involved. Splinter would sit in the room too, trying to help calm him down._

_One trick we learned to do was to try and wake him up, and keep him up for a bit. When we were younger, Master Splinter would pick him up and comfort him until he awoke. Usually he’d cry, and Splinter would wait a couple of minutes before putting him back to bed. As we got older, we all kind of handled it differently._

_Usually, we tried talking to him. Sometimes it’d be a dumb question like, ‘hey what happened in that episode you were telling us about’? Anything to make sure he didn’t fall asleep right away._

_This happened until he turned twelve. Of course, as he got older, they were less frequent. Luckily, Splinter said this shouldn’t really traumatize him emotionally. And just as he said, we all grew up. Ever since our old home got ruined, the newer lair gave us a lot more space. We got our own rooms, and it didn’t happen anymore._

_We never told Mikey about his intense night terrors. After all, he had no idea they happened. He was just as happy, joyful, and full of life without knowing. Telling him would just make him feel guilty, and embarrassed. It wasn’t worth doing that to him. I guess, ignorance is bliss after all._

_After four years of nothing, it happened again. Frankly, this caught us totally off guard. He was supposed to grow out of it, this was supposed to be over. **He** was supposed to be okay. _

_It was around the time after our first fight with the Shredder._

_I remember hearing his painful cry. Instinctively I reached for my Katana and ran out of my room. My heart was racing. Who was attacking? The Foot? The Dragons? Who found us? My mind was going just as fast as my heart rate. Slamming Mikey’s door open, I held my sword as I waited for the threat to come at me._

_My heart clenched. It wasn’t an enemy. It slowly hit me, once he started thrashing. Another night terror. Putting down my sword, I rushed to his side and memory did the rest. Raph and Donnie weren’t too far behind with their weapons in air as well. It wasn’t until they saw me begging for their help, that they looked just as defeated as me._

_Mikey didn’t kick this time, he was mostly sweating profusely and panting. I thought he was sick, or maybe he got poison. But when his eyes opened and he didn’t acknowledge us, that’s when we knew. The night terror came back again. Luckily, this one only lasted ten minutes until he fell back asleep._

_I was scared, irritated, and confused. “Don, why is this happening again? He grew out of it. Why is he doing this again?”_

_“I-I don’t know, Leo. You’re right, it should have stopped already.” Donnie worried. “Sometimes these things can happen to adults if there’s a strong emotional trigger or tension. Like anxiety, stress, anything like that. I mean, there’s not about it, it’s very rare for an adult to have a night terror but it does occur.”_

_“Anxiety?” Raph echoed. Realizing his own volume, he cursed under his breath and sighed. “Anxiety? About what? When the next comic book comes out?”_

_“Or the Shredder.” I answered dully. “I think he’s internalizing what he’s really feeling so we’re not worrying about him. It was scary, for all of us, and he never even showed it.”_

_No matter what, I promised to myself that regardless I would support and be there for my family. I love them, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to protect them._

_I wondered what Mikey dreamt about that gave him such misery. Is he feeling the same way now as he did in his dreams?_

_I don’t know what bothered me more. Knowing that there was nothing I can do to help, or that I had to **allow** him to hurt until it ended._

_Is this what Bishop expects me to do? Sit back and watch? Is this what Sensei is implying for us to do? Allow him to walk into Bishop’s trap and let it happen? He wants to toy with me, with **my** family? _

_I’ll show Bishop what it truly means to suffer._

/././././././././././././././././

Leonardo sat upright alongside the wall. He was close enough to the door so that when Raph comes in he wouldn’t make too much noise. It was pretty dark in Mikey’s room besides the nightlights he had in the corners of his room.

 

_Almost three in the morning. That’s not so bad, huh? At least Mikey’s sleeping._

 

Though Mikey would never admit it, the nightlights still comfort him after having nightmares as a kid. Even though each of them had nightmares, sometimes Mikey’s night terrors would wake the whole house. _He always did have the most vivid imagination…_

The silence allowed Leonardo to meditate, even for a couple of minutes. Sometimes he would hear his brother move in his sleep, with an occasional mumble. He knew his brother was asleep, but anything can happen. He couldn’t allow himself to be exhausted.

_I hope Donnie is getting some sleep. When Raph comes I better check on him. Then maybe I should get some sleep if I can…_

A low creak brought Leonardo’s attention right to the door. Slightly ajar, Raphael slowly stepped into the room. The light from the hallway shined dimly as he closed the door, not wanting to let any bright light in. He first looked at his younger brother then back to Leo. Crossing his arms he sighed deeply, “Finally sleeping, huh?”

 

Rising back to his feet, Leo quickly realized that Mikey’s journal was still at his side. He did promise him that he wouldn’t show it to anyone. Quickly placing it back on his dresser, Leonardo stretched his arms. Whispering, his eyes narrowed to Raphael. “I have a bad feeling. This is too easy. If this is Bishop, he’s waiting for us to have our guard down. Or worse…”

 

“Worse?” He fought to keep his own voice low. Gesturing toward the door, he stepped out into the hallway. He waited for Leo before he groaned. “Fine. What’s goin’ on? I know ya talked to Sensei, so spill. What’s up?”

 

Leonardo hesitated. Should he too be putting thoughts into Raphael’s head? There was too many possibilities—Bishop, turning Mikey against them—the fact that they may have to allow Mikey to go off again in order to see where he goes? If Raphael even knew that this was a considerable option? No. Not without Splinter’s blessing. He trusted his brother with his life, but maybe this is for the best.

 

He knew that look. Raphael was growing irritated at his own hesitation. He needed to recover, and fast. Honesty is always the best policy after all. He could be honest about how he was feeling.

 

“We’re just worried. Drugs, memory loss—I’m afraid of what’s going to happen to him, Raph.” Leonardo felt his voice crack. He hated letting his emotions get the best of him. _Maybe I’m more tired than I thought. I can’t let Raph think I’m slipping too._ Clearing his throat he continued calmly, “But Splinter believes with the right rest, mediation, and Donnie’s potential antidote that we should be okay until we can go back to the surface to investigate more.”

 

“Hopefully that’d work.” Raphael mused. He knew he didn’t sound that convincing, but things wouldn’t be this easy if it involved Bishop. That could wait until morning, especially for Leo’s sake. “You better get some sleep at least.”

 

With a quick nod he rubbed his template. “Yeah. Just make sure your guard is up, you never know when something can happen.”

 

“Yeah.” Raphael answered quietly, his eyes darting to the floor. He carefully picked his head up, and slowly said, “Look…I know you’re not gonna like it. But I was doin’ some thinkin’ about finding more clues.”

 

_Oh, this is going to be interesting. Raph’s ideas always end with a fist to someone’s face. But it’s worth hearing him out._ “And?”

 

“I have contacts, from my Nightwatcher days. I know it’s been years, but, there are guys who owe me a couple of favors. And I’m not sayin’ I’m gonna go back into the business or anthin’ but…Back then, I got involved in a shit ton of stuff. I knew the in’s and out’s of the city. If these guys are still around, especially in the underground, maybe they’d know Bishop. Dragons and Foot are the major players, but there’s a lot of behind the scene work done ya know. Even they hire people. I know some people who may know somethin’.”

 

Leonardo’s eyes locked onto his brother’s. Though Raphael wouldn’t dare admit to it, but it was like he was _asking_ for his permission to do this. Regardless of what anyone else thinks ( _Mikey, just Mikey seemed to believe it_ ) but the Nightwatcher wasn’t a hero. He wasn’t the good guy. He caused more hell, chaos. Sure, he understood his troubled brother’s intentions. But did that ever justify his actions? Raphael never spoke about who and what he did when he put on that mask. Does Casey even know?

 

Leonardo crossed his arms, his voice more firm. “How do you even know these, ‘contacts’, of yours will even talk to you? The Nightwatcher’s been off the charts for a long time. Suddenly you’re going to reappear like it was yesterday? You know you’d get the same results now, then if you put on a suit.”

 

“Without the suit, they’d get a bounty on our heads to sell us to Foot, Dragons, or whoever the hell wants us dead.” Raphael retorted. “

 

The Nightwatcher almost severed their relationship. Almost. Leonardo felt like a hypocrite—after all, he went away for almost over a year for his own reasons. At least being the Nightwatcher helped others. _What did I do? I trained, did a few random acts of kindness and helped some people. Raph was hurt, I hurt him. Becoming the Nightwatcher was his way of allowing his own expression. He swore he was done with that life. I don’t think he wants to do it, but if it means helping Mikey?_

“Look, Leo, just forget I asked ya-.”

 

“Do it.”

 

Raphael’s eyes widened. “What?”

 

“You’re right. Bishop’s hiding, we may not be able to find him. But he has people, somewhere. Our family is in danger. We’re running out of options here. I trust your call. If you think becoming…the Nightwatcher again is going to help, then do it. Only if you’re communication is always on and I follow from a distance.”

 

“Right.” Raphael’s expression lightened. It felt strange talking about the Nightwatcher. Once he put away his helmet and suit that was it. It was because of the Nightwatcher he did something unforgiveable. He almost lost Leo, in more ways than one. A sting of guilt hit him. Did Leo still think about that night too? Is Leo allowing this just to make him happy? _Damn it, I shouldn’t have said anythin’. Maybe this is a bad idea._

 

Before Leo could walk away, he quickly grabbed his shoulder. “Hey. I…I…Look, don’t think that I want to become what I was before, ok? I just want to get to the bottom of this. Ya know that, right?”

 

“Of course.” Leonardo offered a small smile. “You’re a lot stronger now, even wiser. I can’t hold you all back from making your own decisions. I know you’ll do the right thing, for everyone.”

 

_Damn it, Fearless. Why do ya gotta act like we don’t want you around?_

 

“Don’t be so melodramatic. We still need you, so go to sleep.” Raphael waved him off as he walked into Mikey’s room. Closing the door, he sat on his brother’s large bean-bag chair. _This is gonna be a long night…_  

/./././././././././././././././././ 

_I was talking to somebody. I can’t remember who, but I definitely wasn’t home in the lair. One minute I was talking with Leatherhead—wait. Where did he go? Did the Shredder get him too?_

_I had to get out of here._

_I was running. That’s all I knew. It was also cold, dark, and wet. But I mean, I figured that’s what it was going to be like running in the sewers. I couldn’t tell you why I was running, but that’s what I was doing._

_I had to be somewhere. Anywhere but here._

_You see, he’s going to kill my brothers. I mean, it’s the Shredder. It’s not that much of a shock, but this time, he has them. He has Master Splinter._

_I was able to knock him down before he snatched me. I always was the quickest turtle._

_“Why are you running from me, turtle? Don’t you know I’m just going to find you.”_

_He was close, too close. Almost like the voice was in my head._

_I had to catch my breath, though. I mean, even a fit guy like me had to take a break._

_“Don’t you see? They don’t need you, they never needed you.”_

_Man, this guy was a real jerk! Before I could think of a smart comeback, I was smacked right into the concrete wall. My vision was already blurred enough, now I can barley see anything._

_I saw red, though. I don’t know if that was a good thing or not? What would Donnie say? I think seeing something was good, but that could be blood or something worse. I’m going to go with the optimist approach and say it was a good thing._

_I tried to keep my focus straight. There was definitely something pinning me against the wall. I felt the figure attack me. I can feel my flesh getting sliced up._

_“You don’t care anymore do you?”_

_Why can’t I fight back? Why aren’t I fighting back? It didn’t help that I felt so weak…_

_I thought about sleep. That’s all I felt like doing._

_But how the hell can I when this jerk-off is in my face?_

_“Your family is gone. All your doing. They didn’t need you. They used you.”_

_Wait…Who is he talking about? They? I can’t think straight. It mustn’t be important if I can’t remember._

_“I would never do that to you.”_

_Wait. I remember that voice…Is that…?_

_“I would never hurt you, my son.”_

_“Sensei!” If my head could explode, in a literal sense, it would. I can feel each aching pulse. I could see his silhouette; he was reaching out to me. That’s right! Master Splinter! My father. He’d help me! He’d want me!_

_I grabbed his hand. I squeezed with all my might. Maybe he’d help me up. Maybe we’d go home—wherever that was._

_He slapped my hand away. His voice deepened with disgust. “No, my son. You must stand on your own. You must atone for what you have done.”_

_Atone? For what? I literally just got here. Why is he treating me this way?_

_“W-What do I need to do, Father?” I was desperate. The Shredder was coming after me; he’s the only one who can help me. I don’t know why I know that, but I just have to hold onto that!_

_His voice softened this time. I can see him crouching in front of me. He sounded a lot nicer this time, almost like he was going easy on me. “Listen to me. Your brothers are gone because of your actions. You ruined this family, my family. If you wish to see them again, you will do as I say. Understood?”_

_Okay, I’ve read my fair share of comics, but what the heck was he saying? I go from worrying enough about what the hell is going on to save my ‘brothers’? What else can I do? I have no idea what’s going on. And my gut is telling me to trust him…_

_After all, he is my father. Right?_

_“Listen to me carefully,” Sensei warned me. “The Shredder has taken your brothers, because of you. They are not who you think they are.”_

_“What brothers?” I genuinely had no idea what he was talking about. I just wanted to go to sleep, wake up to some nice good pizza and go back to the lair with my—brothers?_

_Ugh. Whatever. Splinter sure looked pleased._

_Slowly, Splinter grinned from ear to ear. It was menacing. It made me uncomfortable._

_Suddenly, I heard another voice. It wasn’t Splinter’s. It was something sinister. Way creepier. This voice sounded real, like it wasn’t in my head. Splinter’s sounded so soft, so easy. This voice hurt, it was loud. I could swear it was right in front of me._

“Excellent, Michelangelo. You’re weaker than I gave you credit for. That’s correct. You do not have any brothers. It looks like with one more dose, you are ready for extraction. Soon, he will be the most deadly weapon we can have. And to think, I originally hoped to use Leonardo. Though, it would be very interesting to assess his willpower. ”

 

_Leonardo? Why does that name sound familiar?_

 

_Master Splinter had disappeared now. Whether or not Master Splinter was in my head or not, whoever was in front of me was actually here. I had to get up. I was back on my knees now. There was a man standing in front of me. His eyes hid behind these dark sunglasses, he was dressed in black from head to toe._

 

_His wicked smile offered a hand to help me up. My guy told me not to trust him. I got up on my own, no matter how much it hurt._

“Do as I command.”

 

_Something inside of me snapped. And not in the bad way, or maybe it was bad. But my eyes shot right up to him. I had to listen to him. It felt right. It was like my mind and body were two separate beings—I never felt this way before._

 

“Take this note. Follow the map on your phone. Leave it for the other Turtles to see. Do not get caught. Run. Come back here. Do you understand?”

 

“Yes.” _I didn’t really, but it was something to do. Something I felt…like I had to do. It was like everything he said didn’t matter._

_I was running again._

_My eyes darted to my phone._

_I never ran so fast. Or maybe I did. With them. That doesn’t matter._

_I looked down at my phone. It wasn’t far. I had to go to that rooftop. 42 nd Street. _

_Everything else was a blur, a dark blur. It was like my body knew what to do and my mind was going along for the ride._

/./././././././././././././././

Raphael didn’t know why all of a sudden he jolted up. His eyes felt heavy, his heart was pounding. Was it a nightmare? He stretched out as a yawn escaped his lips. He hated feeling so beat, so exhausted. Sleep sounded so much better. _Wait._ _Sleep? Aw, crap._

 

Reaching for his phone, the small bright screen shined the time. _Almost 5? Shit. Did I fall asleep? Oh no, Mikey!_

 

Carefully rising from Mikey’s beanbag chair that was resting in the corner, he tiptoed toward his younger brother’s bed. He breathed a sigh of relief, finding Mikey still in deep sleep. _At least he didn’t wake up. How the hell could I just fall asleep like that?_

Shaking his head, he walked back to the beanbag chair and pulled out his phone again. Donatello was supposed to come and wake him up to take the shift until morning. Quickly he wrote a small message. He knew that Splinter and Leo are usually up by dawn for morning meditation and that Leo was going to come back at that time. At least he could get a couple more hours of sleep. _“Hey. You wanna come up here until 6?”_

 

Raphael contemplated messaging Don. With him working for so long all week, maybe he should cut him slack and let him sleep. After all, it’s only an hour. Donnie needs all the sleep he could get. After all, he did technically pass out, he should be awake enough to at least make sure everything else goes smoothly. He deleted the message, and continuing scrolling through the Internet. _At least there’s always those stupid articles about movies and stuff._

A thump quickly caught his attention. Glancing up from his phone, he could see Mikey rolling on his side while muttering something under his breath. _Poor guy, he’s probably so dead tired from the day._

Suddenly, a low hum echoed in the room. Shining over at Mikey’s nightstand was his phone, vibrating on top of his comic books. Grabbing the phone, ‘BLOCKED’, shined across the screen.

 

_Who the hell is calling him? Of all the times I decided to let Donnie slide, he’d know how to track this thing. Should I even bother picking up? Maybe it’s the guy who did it. But would picking it up make him track us? Damn it!_

 

Letting his impulse get the best of him, he quickly accepted the call. He knew if he’d talk, the caller would know he definitely wasn’t Mikey. An eerie silence fell for what felt like forever. Not even a breath could be heard. _The hell? Crap. Maybe it’s just a dud._

“Hello, Raphael.” The voice was bleak, monotone, and dark. Unrecognizable. Yet, it still filled him with dread. He knew this voice; it was the same one that spoke with Donnie and Leo on their com-link. It’s the one that’s doing this to his family, to his brother.

 

His eyes widened as he gripped the phone tighter. How could somebody know it’s him? Was there a camera in his room? Could the guy actually be **here**? There were too many questions running through his head, and he knew one way or another he needed answers. Quickly stepping out of Mikey’s room, his voice hissed, “How the hell-?”

 

“Tell me, Raphael, do you think you can actually stop me? I mean, look around you. I’m looking right at you and you can’t even see me.”

 

Raphael felt his stomach drop. His eyes darted from every corner of Mikey’s room. Stepping out of Mikey’s door he scanned the hallway. Was ** _he_** here? Was there a camera? How? Leo didn’t fall asleep once, and Donnie’s been here all night! _He’s bluffing. Donnie would have been able to see-!_

The deep voice snickered, chuckling darkly. “You didn’t stop Leonardo from abandoning your family. You couldn’t stop Donatello’s infection from nearly killing him, and if I recall correctly you needed help. You think you can help Michelangelo when he’s already gone?”

 

_Bishop. Leatherhead was right, that asshole’s still breathing. Not for long he won’t!_ Raphael felt the anger begin to boil inside of him. This was all just like a game to him, that’s all it was. And he was going to prove he was no pawn. “Then prove it, dipshit. Ya nothin’ but some coward who’s hiding behind lackeys and stupid notes.”

 

“Is that so?” The voice antagonized. “We shall see, shouldn’t we?”

 

The call was disconnected. Raphael reached for his sai as he carefully walked toward Mikey’s closet. Something had to be here, he had to be here. Opening the closet door, he shined the phone’s light in and found nothing. _He’s just toying around now, that asshole._

Closing the closet door, he sat back down on the beanbag chair. At least the adrenaline will keep him up until Leo comes back. It was almost morning, then everything will be fixed. Splinter, Leo, Donnie—it’ll be a chance to fix everything.

 

_Sensei always did say that hope was a lot more powerful than we give it credit for. Maybe I should gamble with that for once._

/./././././././././././././././ 

“Sir, the second dosage will only last so long. How will you get the specimen here before his next dosage? Shouldn’t we just take him? Your opportunities are ample, I assure you. Besides, they are onto you. They’ll know it’s you.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Then why prolong it?”

 

“Patience,” Bishop smiled wickedly. “Let them think they are safe, let them think the storm is past. It is then, that I will strike. He must willingly come to me. The drugs will confuse his mind, cloud it. I will need to convince him. If the drug does not work, we’ll move onto phase two. Besides, it wasn’t like I didn’t have a distraction plan after all…”

 /././././././././././././././././././


	10. Chapter 10 // "A Warning"

/././././././././././././././././././ 

Michelangelo felt the heaviness of his eyes as he began to wake up. Stretching out, he slowly sat up from his bed. Though, physically he felt much better, a pit in his stomach put him on edge. _That dream…was that real? Did that actually happen? I saw Bishop, I heard him for sure. If that happened than I wouldn’t be here…right?_

 

His eyes widened when he found Raphael hunched back against the beanbag char, out cold. Quietly getting out of his bed, he took his blanket and placed it over his sleeping brother. Carefully closing the door behind him, he began walking down the hallway toward the dojo. _Maybe Sensei can make sense of whatever happened, he’s an awesome dream-interpreter after all._

Before he could even walk in, Splinter’s voice caught him off guard. “My son, it is early. Did you sleep well?”

 

“Yes, Sensei.” Mikey knelt beside Splinter. “I feel a lot better, but…Well, I had this weird dream. I think, I think I might have remembered what happened last night.”

 

“What do you remember?”

 

“I saw—I heard you. Before that, I kept hearing stuff. It was hard to remember who or what was happening….” Michelangelo hesitated. He didn’t want to talk about his own insecurities, let alone the voices that kept reminding him of it. _Sensei always tells me I gotta focus more, I shouldn’t bother with stupid stuff like that._

“That is…troubling.” Splinter struggled to find the words. “Michelangelo, I fear for your safety as well as your brothers. Whoever wishes to cloud your mind is trying to block what matters the most to you. What you must remember, my son, is your strength. You mind is strong, and most importantly your heart. You can truly never lose sight of who you are as long as you know that.”

 

_It’s not easy, Sensei. I thought I was stronger than this. I gave in so easy! Ugh!_

“You’re doubtful.” Splinter spoke softly, placing his paw on Mikey’s hand. “It’s difficult, I understand. It’s in the darkest times that we rely on those who bring us the most light. Meditation will help clear your mind. I know it is difficult for you, my son, I believe it can ease your mind.”

 

“I won’t let you down, Sensei.” Relaxing his muscles, Mikey began his meditation. It was working for a while, or so it seemed. Maybe more of his memories will return—then again, did he want to remember? _I already remember some parts. Should I tell him? Maybe I should try to?_

 

That was, until a low menacing growl snapped his mind out. He knew the culprit. “Sorry, Sensei. I guess I’m a lot hunger than I thought.”

 

“That is quite alright. You may go. Afterwards, we shall continue.”

 

_Saved by the stomach!_ With a breath of relief, he let his stomach lead the way to the kitchen. _At least cooking can get my mind off of things for a bit!_

/./././././././././././././././././ 

It was the smell of pancakes that awoke Raphael—chocolate chip pancakes to exact. Slowly creeping his eyes open, he was surprised to find a blanket placed over him. _That bonehead—Mikey must have put this on me. Wait. Then, where is he?_

 

The realization began to hit as Raph began to rose from his hunched back position in Mikey’s beanbag chair. _Well, that explains why my neck hurts like hell. Damn it, I fell asleep **again**? Damn it. _ Mumbling his frustrations, he reached for his phone. No messages, but it was 8:00AM.

 

_8? Leo should’ve at least woken me up this late, if not Donnie? They’re never slackin’ on this—Where the hell is everyone?_ Feeling the panic rising, he tossed the blanket off of him. That was when he found Michelangelo’s bed completely empty. Cursing under his breath, he quickly darted out of his room.

 

Rushing to the living room, he called out, hoping someone was awake and knew where the hell everyone was. “Don? Leo? Damn it, where is-?”

 

“Yo, Raphie! You’re finally up!” Standing over the kitchen oven, wearing his signature ‘Do you want a pizza me?’ apron was Mikey. His smile grew wider, gesturing to the frying pan. “You don’t mind chocolate chip pancakes, right? I figured you’d like it so I went for it, hope that’s okay?”

 

_Well. This wasn’t what I was expecting._

 

Raphael carefully walked over to the kitchen, finding Mikey preparing multiple pancakes on five plates. He was bouncy, jumpy, smiling—almost like yesterday never happened. He was humming some tune to himself, gesturing Raph to sit on a nearby chair. “Have a seat, dude! I’m almost done anyway! I know Leo likes banana and blueberry like Sensei, so I’m gonna make that after. I made the rest of us chocolate chip cause we actually enjoy good pancakes, am I right?”

 

_If it weren’t for what just happened, I wouldn’t think this was totally freakin’ weird. Not that I’m not happy, but it’s still freakin’ weird. I guess Donnie was right, he should be better by now. Then where’s everyone else?_ Raphael peeked over toward Donnie’s lair, hoping to find his younger brother. Not seeing Donnie from his angle, he asked, “Where’s Leo and Don?”

 

Mikey’s smile faded into a confused daze, continuing to flip one of the pancakes. “Well, I got up a half hour ago and found you sleeping, and yeah you’re welcome for the blanket. I came down, and was hungry so I started cooking. I heard Donnie was still workin’ in his lab so I figured I’d make us breakfast. Eventually Donnie came out and said that was cool so, here I am. I haven’t seen Leo, though, I’m pretty sure he’s mediating or something with Sensei. I haven’t seen either of them yet, now that I think about it. I’ve, uh, been kind of avoiding them, so…Yeah. Any who, I totally feel better so, I rather just you know, make it a good morning before anything else turns the day. Uh, Why?”

 

Raphael took a breath of relief; at least Mikey **_saw_** Donnie. But, Leo’s usually out an about around now. He would have definitely come and checked in on Mikey at least. But seeing Mikey being back to his perky self did make everything feel okay. _No good in worryin’ him._ Shrugging his shoulders, Raphael eased in his seat as he leaned back. “Hm? Na, I just haven’t seen Leo or Don. I was just askin’, usually we’re doing morning training at this point.”

 

“Sensei didn’t wake any of us up,” Mikey pointed out. “Maybe we’re getting the morning off. Besides, now I have an excuse to finally tweak my breakfast making skills! Ha!”

 

“Hey,” Raphael mused in a dry tone. “I thought our food was getting drugged—how do I know we can even eat that crap?”

 

Mikey dramatically gasped. “How dare you say my awesome pancakes are crap. And after I went all my way from the goodness of my heart to slave over a hot stove for you guys! Oh, and by the way—nice job on babysitting duty by the way, but I won’t tell Leo you slept on the job. That’ll look bad on your performance review. I’m just that nice.”

 

“Shut up.” Raphael grumbled. He didn’t want to admit his guilt for falling asleep for the second time. _I didn’t even know I was that tired._

 

“Aw, but little Raphie was all snuggled up in his blanket…!” Mikey teased in a childish tone.

 

Grunting, Raphael sat on the eat-in bar stool and rubbed his forehead. “I swear, Mikey, don’t push it! And can ya not be so frickin’ loud? Guess ya in good mood, feeling better?”

 

Mikey nodded as he continued to flip a pancake. “Hm? Oh, yeah! I slept pretty good! I actually feel like...normal, you know? I think everything’s okay—well at least for now, not that I’m trying to jinx it or anything—!”

 

“Man, those pancakes smell awesome!” Emerging from his lab with a small coffee cup in hand, Donatello approached the kitchen eat-in-bar and leaned against the table. Stretching with a yawn, he smiled. “I don’t remember the last time we had a decent breakfast like this. Together.”

 

“Hey!” Mikey called out defensively as he handed both of them a plate. “What, and my super-deluxe-omelet-waffle wasn’t ‘decent’?!”

 

“No,” Raph cut him off bluntly before Mikey could exaggerate. “combining two separate breakfast meals doesn’t mean it makes it any better!”

 

Donnie shrugged, reluctantly agreeing. “Raph has a point, Mikey. The amount of bacon that was in it was a heart attack waiting to happen. And I don’t think sour cream was supposed to be in it?”

 

“For the last time it was supposed to be **_wiped_** cream!” Mikey flustered. “It was a common mistake that anyone could have totally made!”

 

“Anyway,” Donnie mused, taking a sip of coffee before cutting his pancake. “I saw Sensei this morning really quick, he looks a lot better. But, Leo must be exhausted. I haven’t seen him. I was going to check on him, but he’s never sleeping in this late.”

 

“Leo!” Mikey’s shout caught the two by surprised as their youngest brother began rushing over to him. “Where were you?”

 

“I’m fine,” Leo softly replied. “Really. I’m fine. Are you guys-?”

 

“My son,” Splinter emerged with Donatello. Sighing a breath of relief, he placed his paw onto his son’s shoulder. “Where have you been? Are you hurt, what happened?”

 

Sitting down on the couch, Leo began rubbing his template. Taking a deep breath he began to relax as he began to speak. “I…I heard something last night, late. I went to investigate. Someone was in here, watching. I chased him out. I lost him, eventually. I thought maybe this was some kind of decoy, thinking maybe something happened to you guys. I realized I didn’t have my phone, so I began heading back. But…”

/./././././././././././././././././././ 

“Damn it!” Leo cursed quietly to himself. Not only did his suspect escape under his own watch, but also he realized that his phone was not on him. Only guessing it was almost morning, he knew there was noting left to do but to begin heading back to the lair. Clutching his sword close, only his own footsteps echoed down the dark tunnels. Luckily, he knew these tunnels like the back of his hand. It wouldn’t be too far from the lair.

His frustration turned into guilt; how could he **_not_** get that guy? Was he beginning to lose his wit? What if this was just a trap? To lure himself out to get closer to his family. He could only rush back to the lair, and pray that his family was still safe. Hopefully Don or Raph heard him running out, maybe they weren’t too far behind. Doubtful, but he rather be out here alone than any of them.

 

A bright light flashed in front of him. An all too familiar figure stood in front of him, she leaned against the wall and began humming a tune. A smile stretched across her face as she shined the light in front of her toward the tunnel. "You know, it's rude to keep a lady waiting, especially after all the trouble I did for you." 

“Karai.” Leonardo clenched his katana close as he emerged from the darkness. “What are you doing here?” 

“I told you,” Karai replied , in a ‘as-a-matter-of-fact’ tone. “if I wanted to talk, I have my ways of doing it. I doubt showing up at your front door would put me in your favor.” 

Leo raised his weapon close, carefully approaching his target. “Then talk. What do you want?” 

“Oh, it’s not what I want. It’s what, or should I say, who **_you_** want.” Taking out her own katana, she carefully began circling around him. “Why is it that you four always end up on a hit-list? Someone has been very interested in your little family. Enough to hire my men.” 

“So,” Leonardo scoffed, his eyes following her. “You are involved. We made a truce, Karai. You swore to it.”  

“I did not break any promises with you, Leonardo. Did I not tell you that most of my men have gone rouge? I come to talk, that’s it.” 

“So, all this just to talk? If you know what’s going on, then you know I have no time to play games.” 

“Exactly. How else was I to gain your attention?” A sly smile curved her lips. Her katana blade twirled around her hand, darting her eyes from her weapon to Leonardo. She veered closer to her target, keeping her blade a close distance from his neck. “You have quite an enemy after you—Agent Bishop. Enough to have men from my clan change their loyalties. I may have heard a location for their next rendezvous.” 

“Why bother telling me?” Leonardo held his ground, allowing the blade to inch closer to him. It was more like a dance, except usually letting Karai lead is the only way to avoid a fight. Even if she would make a move, he’s quicker. At least, he learned how to be. “What do you gain by giving me an advantage?”

“Consider this, returning the favor I owe to you.” Karai, for a moment, eased her stance. Her eyes were soft. There was something vulnerable about her that took Leonardo off guard. Was it because he saved her life? Was it because it was the honorable thing to do? Or was it, that perhaps, he had more faith in her than anyone in her entire life?

“Tonight,” Her voice broke his thoughts. She placed her sword back at her side, handing Leonardo a small card. “At midnight. Shine a light under it, you’ll find an address. I do not know how you will enter the meeting without being recognized, but that’s at your digression. Bishop is greedy; and ruthless. He hopes to make allies, enough to do worse than ending your lives. Take that as you will.” 

_She’s putting a lot on the line by giving me this information. Then again, she could be working with Bishop and it’s a trap._ Returning his own sword, Leonardo took a step back from her. His tone softened, offering a small bow to her. “I appreciate this. Thank you.” 

“Do not thank me yet,” Karai said flatly. “I returned the favor. That does not mean I forgive you and your family for what you did to my father. I do wish you luck, Leonardo. It looks as if you’ll need it.”  

He watched as she slipped into the darkness. Going against his better judgment, he allowed his guard ease. He thought, for a moment, to follow her. If it’s a lie, then he’ll confront and give her the justice she’ll deserve. He allowed himself to believe in her word. He trusted her; as little as it was worth. She’s changing; she’s not the same person he knew years ago. Maybe, someday, she’ll be able to truly redeem herself. He hoped that for her, knowing it was just as useless as this information could be.

_Karai. I’m putting my family at risk for your word. I pray for your sake, it’s valid._

 /././././././././././././././././././ 

“I think she was genuinely trying to warn us. Whoever attacked me, it wasn’t Foot. I would know. This was different.”  

Leonardo gazed over each of his brother’s distinctive glances. While Donnie was focusing on his wound, he looked up at his brother with a worrisome look. Mikey, sitting beside him, was listening attentively. While he looked worried, he gave a short approving nod. Raph, standing beside Splinter, just rolled his eyes.  

_Well, I didn’t expect anything less._  

“Whether or not she’s involved or not,” Leo continued. “It’s a lead. And, a chance to sneak in.” 

“Uh, Leo?” Michelangelo gestured to his own face, grimacing. “Have you seen us? I don’t think a trench coast and top hat will do much good for us. How are we going to sneak in?”  

“I never said we were going to sneak in.” Leonardo turned to Raphael. “The Nightwatcher is.”  

An eerie silence filled the room as all eyes went straight to Raphael. Arms crossed, an uncomfortable presence put him on edge.  

“Come again?” Donatello barked, turning back to Leonardo in disbelief. “Did you just say, The Nightwatcher?” 

“I did.” Leonardo replied confidently. “Mikey’s right. There’s no way for us to get in without being noticed, or putting Casey and April at risk by asking them. Besides, Raphael believes this is the best way to go about it. We’ll follow from a safe distance, he’ll wear a secure wire—we’ll be right there with him.”

“But,” Donnie intervened, his voice growing more concerning. “If this is a trap, we’re sending Raph right in it. What If he gets drugged, or worse? Mikey can still relapse, we want to add Raph’s danger on top of it?” 

Mikey shrugged uncomfortably. Though he thought the idea of his hotheaded older brother dressing up an anti-superhero to fight crime was super cool—it almost broke their entire family. That part wasn’t cool. Still, if Leo was giving his stamp of approval. Shouldn’t he? “I guess you do get to wear that cool suit again, huh, Raph?” 

“My sons.” Splinter’s voice halted the room. “We’re in a desperate position. I am not comfortable putting my sons at anymore danger than you four already are. We must also remember that it was not the mask that you wore during that time that created the distance in our family. You four understand the risks. As a father, I wish to take you all away until it is once again safe to return. As your Sensei, I believe Leonardo is correct. As long as you four protect each other, I trust in his judgment. For now, we will rest and prepare for tonight. Leonardo, you must rest. Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, we will continue with training. I fear that we are underestimating our enemy; we must be prepared for anything at any moment. Bishop is a manipulative and vindictive man. I will not sit by and watch you four be at risk like you were years ago with him. We must prepare your mind, and body, for this task. Otherwise, a fate worse than death will befall on us all.” 

/././././././././././././././././././


	11. Chapter 11 // "Slipping"

/././././././././././././././././././ 

_“Leo? What are you most afraid of?”_

_The question caught him off guard. “I…I don’t know, Mikey. Why?”_

_“You aren’t afraid of anything. I want to know how you can do that!”_

_"That’s not true. I do get scared. I’m afraid…of you guys getting hurt.”_

_“Dude, that happens anyway! Like all the time, bro! It doesn’t mean it wasn’t your fault That’s not really what you’re most afraid of, is it?”_

_It was. It still is._ _And Bishop knows it. I won’t let him use that against me._ _Not this time. I’ll show him what happens when he messes with **my** family. _

/./././././././././././././././././././ 

_It’s been a few hours since the training with Sensei. I haven’t felt this exhausted in a long time. Maybe it’s just been a long time since I’ve felt that pushed in a training— not that Leo didn’t do it either! Maybe I am more tired than I thought…_  

“My son, I thought you were getting some rest.”

Donatello jumped from his seat. Standing at his doorway was Splinter. Unlike how he looked in the past weeks, Splinter stood tall and stronger than before. It put his mind at ease to see his Sensei looking a lot better. At least he didn’t have to worry about him anymore. 

_Just a million and one other things…._

“I’m sorry, Sensei. I did, I just…I still want to run a couple of more test on this encryption before tonight. I’ll get rest when I’m done, honest.” Donnie felt himself fluster. He knew he couldn’t fool Splinter. Sitting back down in his chair, he turned back into his work. 

“Donatello,” Splinter approached him, placing his paw on his shoulder. “You have worked the hardest these last weeks. You need to allow yourself a moment of peace. If your brothers need you, I will assist. You must go rest. Now.” 

“Okay, okay.” Donnie hated leaving his work unfinished, but with Splinter starting him down? _Guess I have no choice after all…_  

/././././././././././././././././././ 

_“Donnie? What makes you scared?”_

_“Huh? Mikey, I’m really really busy—if you’re getting ammunition for April Fool’s again…”_

_“What? No! I already have it planned for Raph. I was just wondering, that’s all…”_

_“Uh, okay. I guess….Making a bad mistake?”_

_“Dude, we all make mistakes. I mean, maybe I do more than you, but everyone does it! You’re really scared of doing what everyone else does?”_

_I don’t think of it that way. There’s a lot more riding on me then you think, Mikey. I can’t make a mistake. If I make a mistake, it’ll cost more than the mission. It could be your lives. All because I made a bad call._

_I can’t make a mistake. This time, I’ll be prepared for Bishop. He won’t outsmart me. I’ll make him second-guess himself._

_I’ll surpass him._  

/././././././././././././././././././ 

Leonardo quick-stepped away from his brother’s hit.  

 

“So,” Raphael said smugly. “Karai.”

 

“So, what?” Leonardo retorted defensively. Quickly striking from his brother’s side.

 

“So, do you two usually meet in the dead of night or…?”

 

Leonardo scowled. “Whatever you’re implying, enough of it. Focus. Your recovery is weak.”

 

“Did I strike a nerve?” Raphael mocked, picking up his pace. The blunt of his sai collided with Leonardo’s sword. “Ya can tell me the dirty details, bro. I won’t say anythin’!”

 

“Enough!” Leonardo dodged Raphael’s attack, striking him right in the side causing Raph to fall to his side. “You’re going right in on the action, alone. You need to be ready for anything.”

 

“Damn it, Leo!” Raphael growled. _As if he didn’t beat me down before, damn it!_ He knew Leo was pissed, and scared. But that didn’t give him a right to feel so righteous. Rising back up, he struck back at his brother. He had the upper hand—he was fast, hitting his brother right down. “Guess I’m ready after all.”

 

“Looks like it. Good attack.” Leo got back up on his feet. “The last time we did this, things got tense, huh?”

 

“Yeah,” Raphael chuckled, returning his Sai to his side. “Ya were being a dick.”

 

“Right.” Leonardo rolled his eyes. “Anyway, are you going to be alright tonight?”

 

“Sure,” Raphael shrugged. Being the Nightwatcher wasn’t any different for him. Maybe he was a bit more violent, and ruthless. But in a way, it was a part of him. Putting on the suit made him different, he knew that. But he’s not the same person anymore. “The faster we find Bishop, the faster he can get what’s comin’ to him.”

/././././././././././././././././././ 

_Just a few more hours until tonight._

Raphael still felt sore from the training this morning. Splinter pushed them hard; way harder than Leo did over the past few weeks. While his oldest brother fought to stay with training, Splinter ordered him best rest. _Fearless is probably still passed out. Or secretly training in his room alone. Eh, I’d put my money on defiantly not sleeping._

Donnie was probably just as exhausted as Raph. Though, he refused to rest. He too has retreated to his space, keeping his empty promise of rest. _Probably still looking through that weird tech with Leatherhead. I better check on him later, that dork won’t get any sleep if someone doesn’t push him into it._  

Raph was most surprised with Mikey’s eagerness to train, being way more involved than he thought he’d be. He was focus, driven, and faster. Hell, he even beat him **_twice_** in a spar match. _Hell, I was going easy on him at first. He’s really taking this in. He barley looked tired. I wouldn’t be either after what he’s going through._  

Raphael absentmindedly twirled his sai around his hand. He hated waiting. He knew better than to think this was easy. Karai handing them information on a silver platter? _Stupid. Since when has she ever looked out for us? The hell is Leo thinking? Then again. Not like we have anything else to lead to._

He slowly glanced over at his youngest brother, who was stretched out across the couch trying to find something to watch. Besides his shoulder still wrapped up, he seemed like he was his normal self again. It made him feel better, at least. After all, Don did say he would eventually be back to himself. But he knew better than that too… 

_Donnie’s voice cracked. “If this is a trap, we’re sending Raph right in it. What if he gets drugged, or worse? Mikey can still relapse, we want to add Raph’s danger on top of it?”_ _The hell is Bishop waiting for? He could have taken Mikey, Leo, hell even Splinter if he wanted to. What the hell is he waiting for…?_

“So,” Michelangelo’s voice was quiet as he continued to flip through the channels. “how’d you convince Leo to let you be Nightwatcher again?”  

“Didn’t need to.” Raphael shrugged. “Well, sort of. I can get in and out, it’s not like I didn’t do it before as the Nightwatcher.”  

“You’re not like, worried?” Michelangelo slowly asked. “What if it is a trap?” 

Raphael sighed. He knew how worried they were, even when he was the Nightwatcher, and no matter how mad Don was, the two of them always gave him that look. Easing up, he offered a small smile. “Then you guys are right behind me, this time. I can take care of myself, Mikey. Ya shouldn’t have to worry about that, y’know.”  

“Doesn’t mean we don’t.” Michelangelo said irritably. “Then again, it’s not the first time you go off doing whatever you want. You never really cared about anything, or anyone for that matter.” 

_The hell?_ Raphael’s eyes widened. What was his problem? Feeling his anger rise, he slowly walked over to his brother. “The fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

“Huh?” Mikey blinked. His eyes looked duller. His voice was soft, his head tilting in confusion, “Dude, what’s wrong? I was just asking if you were worried, geez…”  

“No you weren’t. You said…?” Raphael noticed his brother’s demeanor completely shift. His eyes narrowed onto the screen, a grimace stretched across his face. He was clearly upset. Mikey sat up on the couch, settling on some channel. Raphael sat on the sofa chair next to Mikey. “Uh…Ya okay? Seem kind of…off.” 

Michelangelo immediately loosened up, forcing a smile back. “Huh? Yeah, I’m good.” 

_He’s such a shitty lair. Hanging out with me so much as kids, you’d think he’d be better._  “Really?” Raphael dully retorted. He wasn’t buying it.  

“Ugh,” Mikey began rubbing his template, as he rose to his feet. “Huh? Sorry, bro. I feel weird, think it’s my shoulder again. I think I’m just going to go to bed.”  

_Weird? That’s never a good thing. Damn it. Better get him to talk before anythin’._

“Not so fast.” Raphael reached for his brother’s arm, quickly grasping it. “You’re not getting away that-.” 

Suddenly Mikey’s hand gripped onto Raphael’s with a tight squeeze. Slowly, he began twisting it back. His voice deepened, a sinister smile stretched across his face. It was almost like he was enjoying seeing his brother flinch in pain. “You know what? I don’t owe you a single thing, Raphael. Back. Off.”  

“The fuck?” Raphael shoved Mikey off his arm. Finally releasing his grip on him, Raph took a couple of steps back. “What’s your problem?!” 

“You are.” Twisting his brother’s hand harder, he kicked Raphael in the gut. Sending him straight to the ground.

“What the fuck?!” Raphael didn’t care that his hand hurt. He was fuming. Bouncing back on his feet, he tackled his younger brother right to the ground. “I don’t know what the fuck is into you, but snap out of it!” 

Mikey’s head his the ground hard. His eyes snapped, staring right back at Raph. “W-What? What…happened? Raph? Are you okay? W-What’s going on…?” 

_“_ _Oh Raphael…You didn’t stop Leonardo from abandoning your family. You couldn’t stop Donatello’s infection from nearly killing him, and if I recall correctly you needed my help. You think you can stop Michelangelo when he’s already gone?”_

_No. He’s not. He’s here!_  

“Me? What about you?” Raphael kept him pinned him down. How could he snap and not remember? Was he relapsing again? It scared him, but being angry was just easier. “YOU attacked me! You don’t remember?!” 

“No…?” Mikey’s face flushed. His skin getting paler. It was happening again. “Raph? I’m…I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened. I thought I was just going to bed, I wanted to be alone—I didn’t mean to! AH!”  

Michelangelo reached for his head, gripping it tightly. Realizing his brother’s pain, Raphael quickly jumped off. “Mikey? What’s wrong?! Shit!”  

“What is going on here?!” Splinter’s voice echoed, as he rushed to his youngest at his side. “Raphael, what happened to your brother?” 

“I-I don’t know!” Raphael exclaimed, watching Mikey grimace in pain. “H-He snapped at me and attacked me!”  Leonardo and Donatello weren’t far behind, rushing to Raphael. His eyes darted from him to Mikey, his mind trying to wrap around the chaos around him. “Raph, what’s going on?” “My sons, help me bring your brother into the dojo. I’m afraid we may lose him again.”  

/././././././././././././././././././

_Life is so cruel. Maybe I should say more so ironic since I’m a mutant ninja turtle who lives in the sewers trying to live a some-what average life— not exactly normal. Hell, maybe that’s being a little dramatic, huh? After all, I have my family and friends—not many people do. Saying that life is so negative is degrading everythin’ Sensei and my bro’s do._

 

_Let me rephrase that._

 

_Master Splinter used to say that sometimes, we can’t control what happens but we can control what affects us. I didn’t really understand, or care really, what he meant at the time. Leo likes to plan ahead, coordinating every single step. Don, he’s real good at thinkin’ on the spot; and he’s quick to react. Mikey’s creative, and optimistic enough for all of us—no matter how annoying it can get._

 

_No matter what, we always pull through. We always seem to get by._

_That was, until Leo was injured a couple of years ago. Everything in that moment became real; that we are, what my brothers and I do, how in a split second our lives can be completely altered—It was a shell shock. Ugh, no pun intended. But, it was really at that moment that we all began to see what Sensei saw._

_We are vulnerable. We always will be._

_It’s crazy that no matter how hard we can train, or now strong we are. In a second. Everything can change._

_“Raphie, what are you most afraid of?”_

_“Nothing!” I was a really cocky kid. “It’s stupid to be scared. If ya strong, there’s nothin’ to be afraid of! Like Sensei!”_

_“B-But…We all get scared of something! You’re afraid of bugs!”_

_“DO NOT!” I had to defend myself, otherwise I’d never hear the end of it. And I never did. “They’re just gross! I’m afraid of nothin’!”_

_“Raphie? C-Can you teach me how to not be afraid?”_  

/././././././././././././././././././ 

_I remember being really tired. Flipping through the TV didn’t do me much good, anyway. Leo was probably meditating. Donnie was probably researching. Raph was probably just playing with his Sai- oh yeah, he was._

_I remember thinking a lot about tonight. Raph being the Nightwatcher again? Possibly getting closer to more info--? It’s like everything was totally coming together!_

_Until I got a headache. I just wanted to sleep._

_Then I was on the ground, Raph was yelling at me. I can’t remember why._

_Now, I’m here. So is Sensei, and Leo, and Raph. Wonder where….What was his name again?_

_Anyway, now I’m in the dojo. They’re all staring at me nervously. Splinter is trying to say something to me, but there’s so much going on I can’t even focus-!_

“My son, I want you to try and focus on your energy. Find peace in your mind. Pain is only in your mind. Release yourself from it, Michelangelo.” Splinter calmly reached out his paw. “Take my hand, my son. Let us help you. ”

 

_I hesitated. Something, something made me hesitate. I wanted to trust him, something told me not to. He looks so desperate._

“Michelangelo, trust me. Close your eyes, take my hand.”

 

_“Trust me, my son.” Wait. This happened before…I remember…_

_“You must atone for what you have done.”_

_W-What did I do, father?_

_“Listen to my. Your brothers are gone because of your actions. You ruined this family, my family. If you wish to see them again, you will do as I say. Understood?”_

I reached out to him. Squeezing his hand tight.

 

“Michelangelo. Focus on your feeling. Squeeze my hand if you are afraid, know that I am physically right here. Tell me. What do you see?”

 

_“Listen to me carefully, the Shredder has taken your brothers. Because of you. They are not who you think they are.”_

_Everything went black._

“I-It’s dark. What…What brothers? I…I don’t have…Brothers?”

 

Raphael, sitting beside Splinter, began to feel his stomach turn. Looking over on the other side of Splinter, Leonardo inched closer to Michelangelo. His eyes were wide, just as afraid as he was. And all he could do was watch.

 

“You have brothers, my son. What are their names?”

 

_“…And to think. I originally wanted to use Leonardo. Though, it would be very interesting to assess his willpower…”_

“Leonardo. H-He…He waned to use Leonardo. ‘I want to assess his willpower’.”

 

Donatello sat next to Raphael, impatiently feeling the tension in the room sink into him. He should have found an antidote faster. He should have fixed this. _Please, Sensei. Help him._

 

Raphael saw his brother flitch at his name. Michelangelo’s demeanor had completely changed. He was stiff, firm, while still holding Splinter’s hand, he was still.

 

Leonardo shifted uncomfortably at the sound of his name. _Bishop…he wanted me? Then damn it, why didn’t he take me?! Why my brother?!_

“Yes, my son, Leonardo is your brother. What are the other two’s names?”

 

_I think I can trust Splinter…I don’t want to think anymore. It doesn’t matter. They aren’t real, right?_

_“They don’t need you anymore.”_

“My son, what about your brothers?”

_“You family is gone. All your doing. They didn’t need you. They used you.”_

_I felt like I was falling. It was so dark. Splinter’s voice was getting further away._

“U-Used me! They used me!” Michelangelo exclaimed painfully, squeezing his father’s fragile hand harder. “They never needed me!”

 

“Michelangelo,” Splinter begged, tightening his grip on his son. “You are stronger than you believe. Your mind is clouded with doubts, you must remember who you are.”

 

_“Michelangelo. Do. As. I. Command.”_

_I was falling. Everything was dark._

_I no longer felt his hand._

/./././././././././././././././ 

“Mikey!” Leonardo was the first to react. Michelangelo began to fall backward, collapsing on the ground. Jumping from his place, he couldn’t grab his brother in time. “Sensei! What happened?!”

 

“I tried to calm his mind,” Splinter said snakingly. “He is fighting so hard. But, I’m afraid he is loosing the fight. There’s something more at play. I’m afraid…There isn’t much I can do.”

 

“No,” Raphael’s voice cracked. “Sensei, there’s gotta be something! Anything!”

 

“He could have killed you Raphael, surely you sensed that.” Splinter admitted, pain stinging in his voice. “I will not give up, my sons. But we are running out of time.”

 

“We can’t bring him like this.” Leonardo felt helpless watching his youngest brother. “Don, maybe you should stay with Mikey. I’ll go with Raph, I’ll call Casey and ask him to come with me. Maybe in a couple of hours he’ll be okay, but I don’t think I can risk this happening topside…”

 

“Maybe Bishop wants him to stay here.” Donnie’s voice broke nervously. “Bishop got down here before. Maybe he wants us to leave him behind like we did before. We still have some time before the meeting tonight, maybe after rest Mikey will be okay to go.”

 

“So if he relapses topside, then what?” Raphael retorted. “I can’t help, and he could snap and attack you guys up there! Don, leaving him here is his safest-!”

 

“Enough!” Leonardo exclaimed. “Sensei, we’ll try to do what we can to help Mikey for now. Regardless of what happens tonight, we’re getting answers. For Mikey’s sake. Sensei’s right. We’re running out of time.”

/./././././././././././././././././

 


	12. Chapter 12 // "Retrogression"

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_“Sensei, what are you afraid of?”_

_It seems so simple to a child. To my son, all of my sons, whom I protected from the cruel world above. Someday, they will wish for their freedom. And I must prepare them for it. It’s been a few short years since I have begun their training, and their adaption is remarkable._

_Leonardo, my eldest son, learns with such ease. His mind and body is sharp, quick, and steady. Raphael, my second eldest, is the strongest. Able to master his katas, his passion with every strike is a force to be weakened with. Though his competition with Leonardo clouds his judgment, Raphael’s courage and might is remarkable. Donatello, my second youngest, has the sharpest mind. Though gentle, Donatello is consistently motivated. Always yearning to learn, Donatello recognizes his ability to protect himself and others—even though he dislikes violence. His flexibility to learn, and respond quickly, makes Donatello the most adaptable. My youngest son, Michelangelo, is astonishing in his own way. Possessing the most raw and natural talent out of all his brothers, his focus clouds his ability to master his training—If I could get him as focus into it as much as video games do._

_I’ve understood that regardless of the training I can give my sons, there will still be a time where I cannot protect them any longer. When I know that letting go, I must step back and allow my sons to make their own decisions. I trust in each of them implicitly, knowing their instincts are strong and true._

_And yet, that is my greatest fear of all._

_“I fear for you and your brothes’ safety, my son.” I try to answer with simplicity, resting my paw on his shoulder. “But, I have faith and trust in each one of you. That brings ease to my fears, and allows me to act with a clear head.”_

_“It sounds so easy,” Michelangelo, said defeated, as his eyes peering away from mine. “but that doesn’t stop me from being scared.”_

_“Remember when Raphael grew ill? He was very weak, and I feared for him. I feared there was nothing I could say, or do, to stop his illness. I knew Raphael needed me, and you three need me to be strong- that is what made me through, and I believe what motivated Raphael to recover. You are strong, Michelangelo. You all are. It takes time, and courage, to see it through.”_

_He gave me a big smile, his eyes shining with reassurance. I felt as if my words resonated with him, making him feel better about his own fears._

_Though, I will never say, I too don’t believe the words I spoke._

_The fear can be stronger, and maybe you knew that too. Did you simply smile, and allow me to believe it was true? To ease my own fears, knowing they were about you?_

_My son, I’m afraid my faith is shaken- for I fear what will become of you._

_If I was honest, maybe you would be too—that you are just as afraid, as I always am._  

/./././././././././././././././././ 

_That’s weird, Donnie usually answers his phone._ It was still early in the evening when April O’Niel grew anxious as she continued to prepare dinner. While she’s been keeping updated through Donnie about what’s been going on through email, April felt awful. With her internship, and Casey working double shift to make up for skipping the other evening—she couldn’t help but feel like she’s been letting the four of them down.

 

That was until Donnie had called her earlier in the day.

 

_“April,” Donnie sounded exhausted. “I hate to ask you and Casey…”_

_“Don, you’re family.” April insisted. “I told you guys, anything you need from us. Casey and I are always here. How’s Mikey?”_

_“He’s…not good.” His voice cracked. “I’ve been trying for hours with Leatherhead to find answers but we’re stuck. Leo ran into Karai last night- wait, scratch that. He met with her, alone.”_

_“What?” April echoed. She knew Leo’s relationship with Karai was- well, complicated. But he was desperate enough to trust her with information? She knew Leo’s thoughts about her differed from the others’, but maybe what he did was necessary. “What was he doing with her-?”_

_“She gave us an address. There’s a meeting and we have no idea what we’re running into- or should I say Raph. He’s…Gonna be the Nightwatcher to sneak in. And before you say anything, I know, I was just as against it as I know you’re thinking.”_

_“Well…You’re not wrong. What can Casey and I do?”_

_“Nothing.” Donnie answered too quickly. She knew. She knew why._

_“Donnie.” April persisted. “You wouldn’t be calling me if that wasn’t true. What can we do?”_

_“Nothing.” Donnie said with more authority. “I wanted to keep you two in the loop, I wasn’t insinuating anything.”_

_“Donnie.” April insisted a bit more aggressively than she meant. “We want to help. I know Casey’s been slowing trying to get back into things with Raph. I came down to the sewers, alone, to help you with Mikey-.”_

_“Without telling me. Or Casey. How much trouble did you get into?”_

_What was she like a child now? Just because of that night? “Casey was mad when we got home, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make. Mikey’s in trouble, and it sounds deeper than you want to say. I want to help. So does Casey. Let me know when you want us to come down to the lair, and we’ll discuss. Okay?”_

_“Okay.” Donnie said hesitantly, knowing he didn’t have much of a choice._

“Hey, babe! Dinner smells rockin’ per usual!” Casey came in still bundled up from the cold. His hair was tied back in a small bun tucked in under his wool hat that April insisted he wear, to his disagreement. Quickly taking off his jacket, he jogged over to her. Sneaking up from behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist. With a quick peck on her check, he peeked over at her phone. “Still waiting to hear from the guys? When we heading down?”

 

“Hey.” April smiled, returning the kiss. They’ve been exclusively dating now for almost four years. It wasn’t until three years ago when they decided to move in together. It was no surprise to the turtles when the two eventually began dating—but it wasn’t easy. April knew she had big aspirations. Her 23 year old self, starting as Stockman’s assistant, would have never thought she’d be where she was today. Now, at 29 she’s one of the top researchers for her pharmaceutical research team.

 

Casey, just turning 30, had finally started a career at a repair shop. April knew how hard Casey’s tried to turn his life around for her, even getting a job that he’s had now for the past couple of years. April knew she’d be lying to herself if she didn’t wonder about their future. With all her friends getting engaged, having kids—she wondered if the two of them could ever be ready for that. Casey hates change, especially major commitments.

 

She shook her head. This wasn’t the time to think about her future.

 

“I haven’t heard from Donnie yet.” April sighed as she continued to prepare dinner. “He sounded exhausted this morning. From what it seems, it looks like Mikey’s not doing well either.”

 

“Damn,” Casey said softly, shaking his head. “They just can’t catch a break. Did Don say anything else?”

 

“Well…” April hesitated, biting her lip. “They decided it would be best for Raphael to infiltrate that meeting tonight alone-.”

 

“What?”

 

“As the Nightwatcher.”

 

Casey’s eyes widened. “Are you serious? He still even **has** the outfit? Maybe I…I should, be going with him-.”

 

“The purple dragons are going to be there,” April said firmly. “they’ll be spotted the second they walk in without it. Maybe Leo would want you with him a few blocks away just in case something goes wrong. I’ll go with the others in the Turtle Shell on Tech duty and backup.”

 

“This is insane.” Casey said in one breath. Sitting on their small countertop, he rubbed his template. Sure, Raphael was headstrong in a fight- but he was there to back him up, his brothers were there to back him up. Not like this. “He’s walking into a trap—don’t they know that?”

 

“Probably.” April said sadly as she grabbed Casey’s plate. “They’re desperate. Mikey’s not doing well, Bishop is closing in on them—and this is the only lead they have. I just wish I could do something, anything. Or…” A light bulb flashed in her head. She quickly returned Casey’s plate and snapped her finger. “Wait…maybe there is something!”

 

“That was fast,” Casey smiled. “then again, you’ve always been quick. What’s up?”

 

“Bishop has been underground, faking his death for the past couple of years, right? His company was shut down years ago as well. Bishop has to be getting the drugs, supplies, and even other medical stuff from somewhere—right? Why not the biggest pharmaceutical company in the city? Big enough for a potential security breach—or convenient enough where I work?”

 

Casey raised his brow. “I mean, he’s done the black market for years too. He could just be sneaking it in. Nelson’s Pharmaceutical is pretty well known, I doubt it’s breakable.”

 

“The Foot was had ties with everyone politically, including the mayor. I wouldn’t be surprised if Bishop still had friends in there. It large enough to go undetected, the staff is so massive it’s easy for someone to slip in and out.” April smiled, as she pulled out her key card from her pocket. “And I got a way in just so see if I’m right.”

 

“You’re not serious, right?” Casey rose from his seat as he walked towards her. “If you’re even right, and someone knows you’re doing this, you can get caught by work or worse-!”

 

“I have to do something! Anything!” April insisted, quickly rushing into their bedroom to get her things. They were running out of time, and she knew it. “I’ll call Donnie to help with the security and maybe I’ll-.”

  
“April! Can you just stop for a minute?!” April was caught off guard by Casey’s sudden raw emotion. Reaching for her hand, Casey pulled her into a hug. “April, I know you’re worried, but we talked about this. I…I thought you wanted out of all this. I thought you wanted a normal life. I thought you- **we** \- were trying…I’ve been trying for you.”

 

It’s a matter the couple talked about before, in private. Thinking about being “normal” again. Not necessarily cutting the turtles and Splinter from their lives, but starting to make their own. Hell, all he knew how to be in his life was a vigilante. And he was damn good at it. He could never see himself doing anything else. That was, until he met April. Everything in his life changed the moment he met her. Hell, it wasn’t easy getting to where they are today- stable, living together, even considering a bigger future?

 

That just wasn’t in the cards for Casey Jones. He knew how to look out for himself, and for himself only. Meeting the turtles, Splinter, and April taught him to much more- to fight for something. He had everything.

 

That’s where he knew he was in trouble.

 

It was a couple of months ago, just another rooftop run. Just another patrol. Another promise to be home on time for dinner. It was another race with Mikey, another Purple Dragon to beat with Raph- it fun, and he enjoyed every minute of it. April was always forgiving about his tardiness anyway.

 

Until that night.

 

Coming home and finding their entire apartment flipped upside down. Every single piece of furniture, glass- shattered and scattered across the room. All he could hear was the wind that came through the shattered window, screaming April’s name as he frantically searched.

 

It wasn’t until he found April drenched in her own blood, crawling toward the phone across the room that his vision went white. She was hurt, nearly dying—all that was left for the attack was a calling card.

 

The Purple Dragons.

 

Luckily, the doctors reassured him she would heal. The wound wasn’t fatal, probably because April defended herself. If he had come just moments later, it would have been too late.

 

That, was the exact moment Casey knew it had to end. Sitting beside her in the hospital bed, caressing her hand while holding back his own tears. _I can’t. I can’t loose her. I can’t._

_“I can’t lose her, I can’t.” Casey knelt in front of Splinter, his eyes heavy as he hung his head. “I…I can’t do this anymore.”_

_“We never should have asked you to.” Leonardo said somberly, watching Casey barley compose himself. He should have known never to ask Casey to get involved so heavily in the Dragon’s affairs. Especially with the history he has with them. Steading his voice, Leonardo spoke firmly. “We will handle the Dragons. Double our scope on their locations, as well as where they’re going. And every night for the next couple of months the four of us will switch off to patrol your new apartment as well as the near-by blocks.”_

_“I-I can’t ask you guys to do that.” Casey shook his head, clenching his knuckles. He felt so weak, so powerless. This isn’t who he was. “It was my fault that this happened. She told me not to get too deep with the Dragons, and I should have came home, she could have been-.”_

_“Ya gotta stop blaming yourself. Besides, we already agreed to it.” Raphael, sitting beside Leonardo, spoke in a much softer voice than he normally does. He’s never seen Casey this way; he figured that’s what being in love was like. “Your guys’ safety is what’s important, Case’.”_

_“We never should have asked you to get this involved with our affairs.” Donatello sat up, stoically. After seeing April being that hurt, knowing it was because of their call- it didn’t sit with him. It still didn’t after almost two weeks. “I promise you, Casey, we will everything we can from preventing this from happening again.”_

_“Guys, I can’t ask you to-.”_

_“You’re family.” As simple as it was, Michelangelo’s voice put more weight on it. This was the first time that either of them have gotten seriously hurt because of him, because of what he and his brothers do. That wasn’t fair- at least not to Mikey. They should be married already, heck even pop out a couple of kids- not this. “You and April, you guys are always there for us. We want to do this.”_

_“Mr. Jones,” Splinter’s voice spoke up. “My sons and I are forever indebt for what you and Ms. O’Neil have done for us in the many years we have known you both. Allow us to try and return that gratitude, and be there for you. Whatever decision you make for yourself, and Ms. O’Niel, we will respect and understand fully. Even if that means…Separating yourselves from this family.”_

_Not even a flitch from the turtles, Casey knew this probably meant they talked about it before. That didn’t stop Casey from flinching, nonetheless. Nearly ten years he’s known them, to consider getting up and leaving? Leave this city? Leave them behind? He knew if April heard this, she’d stop him even considering it before it happened._

_“No,” Casey gained composure in his voice. “No. We’re not leaving, April made that clear. She and I have talked. I…I’m going to stop helping you guys for a bit. Maybe, for good. I don’t know yet. That doesn’t mean we don’t want to stop talking to you guys, that’s for damn sure. We’re family. April and I just need to…figure things out. But, I…I really appreciate you guys doing this for her. I…”_

_“Mr. Jones, you never need to thank us.” Splinter smiled warmly. “You are family.”_

“Casey?” April’s voice snapped him back. Wrapping her arms around him, she held him for a few moments. Sure, she was hesitant and anxious about considering this, but they are family. They did so much for her, for Casey- she couldn’t sit back and let Mikey or any of them get hurt. It wasn’t until months after that she finally convinced Casey to go on a patrol with Raph, much to his resistance. It wasn’t until later on that she found out that Leo, Donnie, and Mikey snuck out to watch the apartment while he was gone.

 

“Listen, Casey…I…I know, what you’re thinking. I know we’ve been talking about it, I know you’ve been trying to get back into going out with Raph. They’re in deep, Casey. Mikey…He’s not doing well. They need help. I’m not going into action, and you don’t have to either- or you can. I don’t want to hold you back. But, I can’t sit back and do nothing while they’re struggling. I’ll stay with Donnie and Splinter or something- I can take care of myself, you know that.”

 

Casey hesitated. Resting his head on hers, he kissed her forehead before taking a deep breath. “You’re so freakin’ stubborn, I swear.”

 

Laughing, she looked up at him, her arms still wrapped around him. “You’re just as thick-headed, Jones. Guess you’re beginning to rub off on me.”

 

Smirking, he seductively held her closer as he teased, “Was that an invitation or…?”

 

“Ugh.” April rolled her eyes as she playfully pushed him away, before giving him a small peck. “We better get our stuff together if we want to be there early tonight.” 

/././././././././././././././././././ 

Donatello hated feeling so helpless. Especially when his little brother is unconscious beside him, again. Frustrated, was an understatement. He should have known his brother wasn’t fully himself—he hasn’t been in these past few days. He should have kept a closer eye on him. He should have _found_ a solution already instead of focusing so much on Bishop’s technology. _I could have done something, done more. Now he’s starting to forget about us? Leo’s right, we’re running out of time._

 

“Ya know, staring at him isn’t gonna to make him wake up sooner.” Raphael leaned back further in his chair as he crossed his arms. “Maybe it’s better if he stays sleeping for a bit…”

 

“So that next time he wakes up he can try to kill us?” Donnie retorted, snapping over to his brother. He’d rather blame the stress, but that didn’t stop his attack on Raph. “You heard Mikey- he’s forgetting us. How do we even know if this meeting tonight is going to help him? **How** is it going to help him? Do you even know what the hell you’re walking into? Do you even care what can happen to you if you go there? Don’t you see, Bishop is playing us- playing **you**!”

 

Raphael tensed. Tonight was going to give them answers. **He** has to find the answers, even if it means getting it out of someone. Raising his voice, Raphael exclaimed, “Then he sure is hell is playing **you**. Maybe if **you** were able to crack that stupid fuckin’ tracking device, or why he’s getting into our phones, maybe we’d have found Bishop already and Mikey would have been fine! At least I’m **doing** something-!”

 

Raphael immediately bit his tongue. Realizing what he said, Raphael’s face softened. _The last time we fought like this, Mikey was here to defuse the tension. Now it’s just us. A pissed off Don is scarier than Leo. And I just sent him over the edge._

 

He knew he didn’t mean it, and he knew better than to say it. Donnie’s been one who’s been working as hard as he’s been. Maybe it all was starting to get to them—Bishop is starting to get to them, to him. He opened his mouth to speak, but he was too late.

 

Before Donnie could counter, Leonardo entered the room, his voice booming.

“ **Enough**! Both of you! Donnie, I know you’ve been trying-.”

 

“But that just isn’t enough, right?” Donnie cried defensively. All the anger was slowly building up inside of him. How could Raphael think he hasn’t been trying? _I was the one up all night trying my hardest to break that encryption with Leatherhead. I’ve been trying for hours to synthesize an antidote that doesn’t end up killing Mikey._ “You don’t think I’ve been spending every waking fucking hour trying to fix this? What I’ve been-!”

 

“I know,” Leonardo’s voice lowered. “I know, Donnie. You have been working so hard, and we never doubted you. We’ve all been trying to piece everything together. Raph-.”

 

“I can speak for myself,” Raphael turned back to Donnie, who was still trying to compose himself. “I’m…sorry, Don. That was fucked up, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Ya makin’ more of a difference than me or Fearless has. I’m just playing bait, you’re doin’ the stuff that actually matters. Like getting Mikey better, right?”

_Fighting isn’t going to make this better. I should have known that._ Donnie sighed, sliding down into his chair. “Yeah…I’m sorry too. I’m hoping Mikey will wake up before we have to go. What are we going to do about him?” Looking up at Leo, then back at Raph, Donnie felt himself become calmer.

 

Leo looked utterly defeated, desperately trying to keep everyone together. “I honestly don’t know. Keeping him here is dangerous, and accessible. Even with one of us staying behind, it’s a risk. Whoever it was, they got into the lair before. I know it’s risky, and we’re changing him relapsing again, but we all should go. That way, everyone is accessible, and if this meeting goes south—we’ll be close to Raph just in case. Donnie, did you talk to April?”

 

“Yeah, we spoke for a bit. She and Casey are coming down to see what they can do, I tried telling her not to but—well, she’s pretty set on helping out in some way.”

 

“Alright,” Leo continued, his eyes occasionally looking over at Mikey. He raised his voice, slightly hoping his brother would wake up. “Donnie you, April, Sensei, and Mikey will stick in the Battle-Shell. You’ll be far enough to not attract attention, but close enough to come in just in case. Casey and myself will stick in the shadows, watching the exterior buildings nearby and ready to act in case Raph’s in trouble. Raph, Donnie has a wire for you to wear that’s undetectable. It’ll be inside your suit, and you’ll have an earpiece for us to talk to you. Remember, we can’t see anything in there but we’ll be able to hear anything. You need to remember who you are, and be alert. Find your exits, know whose surrounding you, and don’t speak unless spoken to. Don’t get involved with anything or anyone; just get the information and leave.”

 

“And how am I supposed to explain how I got this address?” Raphael said firmly. “I’ve been out of touch with my contacts for years, and now I suddenly know a way to get in? They may ask for a name, or something. Does that card of yours say anything like that?”

 

Donnie looked over at the card one again, shining it under the light. “Hm, it doesn’t say a name. Just an address. That could be a problem, if you can’t get in then we’re just as stuck as we were before.”

 

“Damn it,” Raph said under his breath. “It’s fine. I can improvise. They’re all idiots anyway, I doubt this whole thing is as elaborate.”

 

“It’s still a risk, Raph, and we can’t ignore it.” Leonardo countered. It is hard enough to allow his brother to walk into this, but without a plan? “We need to figure this out, carefully. Especially when it’s right in front of us.”

 

“Not everything can be planned, Leo!” Raphael said frustrated, as he swiped the card from Donnie. “I get what I have to do. I’ve done shit like this before, I don’t need you breathing down my neck telling me how to do it.”

 

“He has a point, Raph.” Donnie hesitantly added, empathically looking at Raphael. “I don’t have a cure for Mikey. If you get yourself drugged, we just don’t want you making unnecessary risks-.”

 

“Well I don’t really give a damn about it,” Raphael exclaimed. “I know what I’m doing. This is for Mikey. Maybe we’ll get lucky and Bishop will show up and I can personally get it out of him. I can handle it.”

 

“If Bishop is there you do nothing, do you understand me?” Leonardo said icily. _He shouldn’t be doing this. This is my responsibility it’s all my fault I-…I should be the one risking, not Raph._ “If he catches onto you, everyone in that room will turn against you. Casey and I may not be quick enough to get to you. Remember who has the upper hand in this. They will kill you, or worse. I won’t allow it.”

 

Raphael firmed his stance, feeling Leonardo’s eyes locked onto him. Raphael knew Leonardo was trying to make him realize how risky this was. More so, he knew how terrified Leonardo was. When Leo was gone, no one was able to stop him from becoming the Nightwatcher—not even Splinter. He’s used to taking risks alone, acting first. _Leo’s not used to this. No matter how much he pisses me off, I get what he’s trying to say._ “Fine,” Raphael hissed, giving in. “I hear ya.”

 

Donatello watched helplessly between his brothers, knowing to stay out of it. Leonardo’s right—as usual—this is most likely a trap, and taking anymore risks can really cost Raphael more than he thinks. But, then again, it’s not like Leo hasn’t done things like this before. Raphael can handle it, Donnie had no doubts about that. But, it didn’t make him feel better knowing he was going into it headstrong. Looking over at Mikey, Donnie felt his stomach turn. _Leo’s right. Mikey doesn’t have much time. If Sensei can’t get through to him, how are we going to? Tonight has to give us answers. Or else…_

“Guys?” Casey’s voice echoed in the lair, breaking the still silence between the brothers. Poking his head in through the doorway, his eyes darted from each one of them. “Uh, is this a bad time?”

 

“No,” Leonardo answered too quickly. “We were just talking about tonight.”

 

“Geez,” Casey said quietly as he approached the others, looking over at Mikey. “April wasn’t kidding. He doesn’t look good. What happened?”

 

“We’ll explain. Where’s April?”

 

“She’s talking with Splinter, I…” Casey hesitantly spoke. “We want to help. In anyway we can. April was pretty persistent on being involved, and I’m alright to do whatever it takes to help you guys.”

 

Leonardo smiled warmly. He knew how difficult it must be for Casey, and April, to hop back into this as quickly as they are. “Thank you, it means a lot.”

 

“If we’re leaving soon, we better just wake Mikey up.” Donnie suggested with a shrug.

 

“That’s probably for the best, I’ll do it. You better suit up, Raph. Donnie, do you have the wire ready to go?”

 

“Yeah, I just have to turn it on. I’ll go with Raph.” Donnie grabbed the wire and began heading out with Raphael.

 

“I’ll check in on April and Splinter.” Casey said, following Raph and Don out of the room.

 

Leonardo carefully walked over to his brother, who was still stretched out on the cot unconscious. He hesitated for a moment, thinking about everything that’s happened. The guilt began to overwhelm him as he thought back to the day it all started…

 

_“Hey, Leo!” Mikey cheerfully jogged over to his brother, jumping onto his back. “Want go topside and get pizza together before training?”_

_“Mikey! Get off!” Leonardo pushed him off with irritation. “No, I’m going to meditate before practice—just as you should be doing.”_

_“Come on, Leo. You do that like, all the time.” Mikey smiled sadly. “I mean, you need some fresh air. There’s plenty of time to do that before training. We can even get your favorite pizza!”_

_“I said no, Mikey. Go by yourself. Or better yet, don’t, and focus on something else other than your stomach.”_

_He looked so hurt. I was too angry. I was angry at Splinter for getting so sick, for putting me in charge. I’m not ready for this, I wasn’t ready for it. I took it out on Mikey, and I didn’t stop. Even when he came back, I was still a jerk. I shouldn’t have done this._

_It’s my fault Mikey got drugged. If I would have went with him, maybe I would have been able to see it happening. Maybe, if I did push harder and didn’t make him go, he would be fine._

_Bishop wanted me._

_I should be the one, not Mikey._

_Why? Then why didn’t he? Why Mikey? It should have been me._

_It should have been me._

_Raph shouldn’t be trying to fix this, putting his own life on the line. It should be me._

_I’m the one that pushed Mikey away._

/./././././././././././././././ 

It felt strange being back inside the suit. Raphael took a deep breath as he strapped his gloves on. The last time he wore this was that night—the same night he swore to never be the Nightwatcher again. Yet, here he is. Fully suited, and ready to go. So caught up in his own thoughts, he almost forgot Donnie was next to him.

 

Holding the helmet, Donnie gestured to each of the wiring within it. “This wire blends in with the metal of the helmet, so no one should be able to pick up on it. We’ll be able to hear everything on this frequency. I also added your own earpiece in, here, just in case. Only Leo and I could talk to you through here, just in case Mikey relapses we don’t want else to pick up on it. While I was at it, I added a voice disfiguration, here, so no one will be able to recognize you by your voice.”

 

“Wow, I’m impressed, Don. Nice work.” Raphael genuinely smirked, taking the helmet from him. “I should have thought of the voice thing years ago. Maybe I should have involved you, you could have been my sidekick or something.”

 

“Heh, oh yeah, and what would I be?” Donnie sarcastically commented, playfully rolling his eyes. “The Dusk? Get it? Cause you’re the Nightwatcher? I could be-.”

 

“Don’t tell Mikey that, he’d be all over it.”

 

_Mikey. Don’t worry bro, I’m gonna get answers tonight. No matter what._

“Raph? Be careful, okay?”

 

“I know, Don. I will. Trust me.”

/./././././././././././././././ 

_Ugh. Man, I think I broke my record of how many times I’ve passed out. This definitely isn’t healthy. What happened this time?_

Mikey’s vision slowly began to clear. He could see the silhouette of his oldest brother, whose eyes were starting at the wall next to him. “Leo?”

 

Leo’s stance snapped as he quickly looked back at him. Mikey carefully rose up, grabbing his template. His head continued to pound with every move he made. “Man, did I fall or something? My head is like really killing me.”

 

“Mikey!” Leo beamed as a genuine smile grew. “I’m happy you’re awake. Are you alright?”

 

_Leo. I…I remembered what Bishop said about you. Did I tell you that? I think I’m remembering what happened that night. What else did I say?_

 

“Uh, no?” Mikey gestured his head in a playful smirk. “My head hurts?”

 

“Wait,” Leonardo spoke. Mikey didn’t look as pale, nor did he seem disoriented. “do you remember what happened?”

 

_They were trying to help me. Then I started to remember, and then everything went black. I…I couldn’t remember them, right?_

 

“Yeah,” Mikey sighed, looking down. “I…I snapped again, right? I think…I think I tried hurting Raph. And, Splinter was there too, right? I…I couldn’t remember who you guys were.”

 

“It’s fine.” Leonardo fought a reassuring smile. It wasn’t okay, but he wasn’t going to lose hope just yet. “Raph’s fine, we all are. You fought through it, and we’re all still here. So is Casey and April. Do you…Do you remember what’s happening tonight?”

 

Michelangelo steadily got back on his feet, adjusting his mask his voice perked back up. “Yeah, Raph’s going to that meeting thing tonight as the Nightwacher, right? Did I miss it?”

 

“No, we’re leaving. You’re going to go with Sensei, Donnie, and April in the Battle Shell. Are…Are you feeling up for this? You need to be honest with me, Mikey.”

 

Mikey’s voice cracked, as the emotion began to overwhelm him. “Honestly? Leo, I’m really scared. I...I remember trying to hurt Raph. I wanted him to get hurt, Leo, I **wanted** to do it! I don’t…I don’t want to forget you guys. I…I want this to stop! I’m trying but every time I do it’s like I take one step back. I won’t let this beat me. I can do this….”

 

_This has to end, and we need something- anything from tonight. I won’t let this happen._ Leonardo placed his hand reassuringly on his brother’s shoulder, squeezing it tightly. “You will. We won’t let it happen to you, I promise.”

/./././././././././././././././ 

It was time.

 

Raphael leaned against the couch, completely suited besides his helmet. Sitting on the couch near Raph, Casey held April’s hand tightly. Casey held his own hockey mask to the side along with his gear. Sitting beside April, Splinter kept his gaze upon Leonardo.

 

Mikey sat next to Donnie on the other couch, physically looking better than he did before. His eyes were fierce, determined, and focused. Though Leonardo knew his doubts about letting Mikey go, his gut knew this was for the best—trusting his brother would be alright. Standing in front of everyone, Leonardo cleared his voice as it echoed in the lair.

 

“Here’s how it’s going to go…Remember, we don’t know what kind of meeting this is or who is going to be there. This is anybody’s field, meaning we may not be the only ones watching tonight. If this is a trap, we must be prepared for all possible exits and situations. All our earpieces that Donnie gave us let’s us hear exactly what Raph hears. Only mine, and Donnie’s, can actually communicate with Raph only if an emergency. Remember, there are two frequencies you can switch on and off too. Frequency #1 is to Raph, that you can all hear. Frequency #2 is to the rest of us, besides Raph, where you can talk amongst each other in case for some reason we all get separated. Too much chatter can raise the frequency, hence why Raph is on his own. In case Raph is exposed, we only wired him to Donnie and myself so that they could only find us two. If this is the case, we split up. Casey will rejoin the others, take the Battle Shell and drive to the rendezvous point. Donnie will meet with me, and we’ll get Raph out.

 

“Donnie lowered its frequencies, so it shouldn’t be picked up by any tech that could be in there. Casey and I leave first, giving us a head start on scoping the location. Then, Raph will take his Shell Cycle and head to the location. Casey and I will watch from the rooftops a block away, keeping watch of the area in case of any ambush or any other parties that may show up. After about ten minutes, Donnie will take the Battle Shell with the rest of you, and monitor from a few blocks away. There are street cameras, and depending on the kind of building- he may be able to tap into the security. Leatherhead will also be in contact with Donnie—who’s been working on Bishop’s tech, hopefully in case there are cameras Donnie can hack in. Again, these are all possibilities we must prepare for.”

 

“We won’t know what we’re dealing with until we actually get there. No matter what happens, everyone be on alert. If this is a trap, they’ll be waiting for us. Bishop, will be waiting for us. He’ll know we’re coming, and he knows we’ll be ready for anything. Don’t make any moves, or separate alone, without involving the team. We need to be ready for anything. Be prepared, be alert, and most of all—be careful. Let’s move out.”

/././././././././././././././


	13. Chapter 13 // "Follow the Leader"

/././././././././././././././

**1:30AM**

_Bishop_

/./././././././././././././././

“NO!” Bishop tightened his grip around the terrapin’s throat, carefully digging his nails into his skin. Every gasp of air he begged widened Bishop’s smile. Even with the amount of blood he was loosing, he still fought desperately with his grip. “Impressive, perhaps I underestimated you. Nonetheless, your use will be valuable.”

 

The terrapin was weak; Bishop knew his energy would soon be lost. He waited for this moment. For so long, watching. Watching until this moment. Bishop reached in his pocket for the syringe. He watched the terrapin’s eyes widen as he fought desperately against his grip. “Oh, don’t worry. This won’t hurt. Even if you overdose, your body will still be useful to me.”

 

“Stop! Please!” Bishop almost forgot the others presence. Turning his head toward the cry, he was genuinely surprised that he was still conscious. Such a desperate cry, filled with agony. The way his iris changed color, how pale his skin looked— _Such a distinct physical reaction to pain, it’s simply stunning._ The terrain, still face first in the ground picked his head up. If it weren’t for his mask, his bloody face would make him unrecognizable.

 

“Truly, such a pity, your resistance was admirable. I should have left you in that state, you would have proven useful to me.” Returning his gaze back on his subject, he raised his hand nearing the needle toward his skin. “Embrace your destiny, young one.”

 

“LET HIM GO!” A loud voice boomed, catching Bishop’s attention. “TAKE ME. ISN’T THAT WHAT YOU WANTED?” Turning his head to the other side, another smile stretched across his face. Even amputated, the turtle still had such a power to his voice. Violently trembling, the turtle’s skin grew paler. Using his only hand to clutch his lost one, he fought to rise to his knees, stumbling back down to the ground each time.

 

Smiling sinisterly, Bishop stabbed the needle deep into his subject’s skin. “Our deliverance is death, but not this one.” (1) 

/././././././././././././././

**11:30PM**

_Michelangelo_

/././././././././././././././

“Donnie, for the millionth time- I’m honestly okay, dude!” Michelangelo felt completely overwhelmed. Not only with everything that was happening to him, but of how smothering his older brother can be. “No, I don’t have a headache! No, I don’t have the urge to snap and kill you guys—I honestly feel good, Don. I want to help.”

 

Sitting near the rear of the turtle shell, Mikey kept his eyes glued to the monitor as he watched Leo and Casey’s tracking devices flash across the screen toward the docks. Their truck still had time before they could get on the road, but the waiting didn’t help. Mikey wanted to believe the storm has past, that he actually did feel as great as he does. There was this pit in his stomach that wouldn’t stop turning—he knew something was wrong. _I don’t know why I can’t shake this. This whole plan, I feel like something’s wrong…Maybe I am putting everyone at risk. Maybe I should have stayed back-!_

_No. Raph’s out there, by himself. Leo and Casey are at risk being so close. I won’t abandon my family. Not after everything my bro’s did for me…_

 

“I know, I know.” Donnie said defeating, breaking Mikey from his thoughts. He sat beside Mikey on the monitor, uploading the coordinates into the computers. “I still need to check your pulse and temperature every hour and make sure you stay hydrated. You have to tell me if you’re starting to not feel good, okay?”

 

“I know, Donnie. Honestly, dude, I haven’t felt this better in days. It’s like—I’m waking up from some weird crazy nightmare and everything’s getting back to normal. Except for, you know, all this happening right now.”

 

Donnie smiled as he jumped from his seat and patted his brother’s arm. “I’m happy you’re feeling better. You keep an eye on their trackers and the streets, let me know if anything weird is going on?”

 

Mikey gave his trademark grin, and held his thumb up. “Aye, aye, captain Don!” Gluing his eyes back on the screen, Mikey watched as Leo’s dot continued to move steadily closer toward the warehouse.

 

“My son,” Splinter entered the van and sat beside Michelangelo. He smiled warmly as he scanned over his youngest, watching him. “Your face has color in it again, and you seem to be feeling well. Are you alright, my son?”

 

“Yes, Sensei.” Mikey quickly lied, forcing a grin. _It doesn’t matter what happened to me- if Leo, Raph, or anybody get hurt because of what’s been going on with me. I don’t know what I’d do…it’d be my fault._ “I haven’t felt this good in a while!”

 

Splinter only looked at him. A simple, concerning look that ensured Mikey that he didn’t buy his façade. “I see. Then I am happy, my son. What you have been experiencing is difficult, and I can only imagine what you are feeling at this moment. You know you can come to me if you wish to talk about what happened. I can see it in your eyes, Michelangelo.”

 

_That’s Sensei’s way of saying, “I totally know you’re lying and your busted so you better talk”. But, I didn’t really want to. I gotta keep my focus on looking out for Leo and Casey._ Mikey absentmindedly massaged the back of his neck and shifted his eyes back to the screen. _I almost forgot them, all of them. I almost hurt Raph. I can’t take it back. I feel okay, but I have no idea how drugged I was—or am. If it happens again…Bros, I don’t want to hurt you. Not anymore. Maybe…Maybe I should have just-._

As if he read his mind, Splinter returned his gaze toward the front of the vehicle where Donatello was working on the GPS. His voice softened, as he simply stated, “I understand, my son. You know I am here.”

 

Before Mikey could retort, April entered the vehicle and shut the doors behind her. Unzipping her windbreaker, she rolled up her sleeves of her maroon sweater and tied her hair back. She smiled brightly at the two as she sat at the other set of monitors across from Mikey. “Alright, guys! I set the alarm system down there, so we’re good to go. Don, is Raph’s tracker on yet?”

 

“Yeah!” Donnie called from the front, his head still down as he continued tweaking the GPS. “Mikey’s got Leo and Casey, you got Raph. I need you to scope the building once Leo confirms the Warehouse number—basements, exits, who bought the building—anything that can give us a heads up about this place before Raph gets there.”

 

“On it!” Mikey knew April missed this. And, honestly, he missed having her around. She’s quick, resourceful, and always the easiest to talk to. After what happened to her, he thought for sure she would never be back into this. To him, she’s the bravest woman he knows. _She’s been through hell and back, and can still smile and be herself._

“Alright, we’re good to go!” Donnie triumphantly exclaimed, mantling the GPS. Clicking his earpiece on, Donnie began starting the van. “Now, we wait.”

 

_Why can’t I shake this feeling? Sensei always told me to reflect more, and not focus so much on my emotions. But this is different—I…I feel different. I feel like I’m in control of myself again._

_‘Are you?’_ A deep, low voice echoed in his mind. _‘Are you sure?’_

_What the hell? What’s going on? No, not again. I have to fight it._ Shaking his head, he focused back on the computer screen. Ignoring the throbbing in his head, he watched Leonardo and Casey’s tracking. _I have to fight it. If I just ignore it, I’ll be okay. I can do this._

/./././././././././././././

  **11:45PM**

_Leonardo_

/././././././././././././././

“We’re almost at the location,” Leonardo hissed through his chattering teeth. The late October breeze brought a chill down his spine as he picked up his pace. With the warehouse being near the docks, the breeze only got stronger. _The sooner we get here, the sooner we can scope the area._ “how are you holding up, Casey? I know it’s been a while.”

 

“I’m fine,” Casey huffed. Zipping up his leather jacket, he quickly tucked in his scarf under the collar. Catching up with Leo was harder than he thought. Kicking himself for not picking up the slack in his cardio, he pushed to reach beside Leo. “let’s get through tonight, then I’ll whine about how out of shape I am. Are we close?”

 

“We’re here.” Halting to a stop, Leonardo held his hand up instinctively as he eased closer to the edge of the building. The building stood right near the water, though it looked like it could topple over any minute. It stood about four stories tall, with all it’s windows boarded up. There were a few cars parked near it, with a few people below beginning to go in. Leo knew he was too high up to be able to recognize anyone. _Good thing Donnie always thinks ahead._ Reaching in the knapsack that Donnie gave him, he put on his goggles. Carefully zooming, Leonardo could recognize some of the men’s emblems on their jackets. “Looks like there’s a lot of Purple Dragons coming. Didn’t think Bishop would hire them to get the job done, they’re not exactly tactical.”

 

“Who else is left?” Casey slouched down on a vent, sitting on the cold ground to catch his breath. _Damn I really need to get back into shape._ “The foot disbanded, supposedly, months ago. Unless there’s another gang starting up—the dragons are the only ones around lately, minus the few petty crimes.”

 

“Wonder if Hun’s going to show up.” Leo mused as he carefully crouched down behind the edge, continuing to look around the area. “Didn’t think he and Bishop were on the best terms either—unless something changed. I keep feeling like there’s something we’re missing, a piece of something important.”

 

“Like Karai?” Leonardo twitched at the sound of her name, or it was the cold—Casey didn’t know which to blame. The Foot are—or were, always ruthless—especially her. He never forgot what she put the turtles through, and for what she did to Leo. Then again, that was a long time ago. Though he didn’t think people changed that much, Leo had to see **something** in her to actually believe in her. “I know she offered a truce with you guys, but do you actually think she’ll follow through with that? I mean, she basically set this whole thing up. She doesn’t do anything without something in it for her. Look, I’m not trying to make you doubt anything, Leo-.”

 

“It’s fine,” Leo answered curtly. It was hard enough trusting in Karai already, but with the others reminding him constantly—it didn’t make him feel any better about it. His relationship with Karai was complicated, to say the least. Though he’ll never say it out loud, there is a respect there. She is honorable, when she can be, and can see from his perspective. Maybe being able to follow her own path, she can even do good. _But, I can’t forget who she is. What she did to me, to my family. She gave me this information on respect—I don’t think it’s something she’d break easily with me._ “We’ll just have to keep an eye out for her, or any of the foot. I better call in…”

 

Leo turned on his earpiece, as his eyes continued to scan the area. “Don, it’s me. Casey and I are at the location. Looks crowded, so make sure you’re far enough to keep attention away. Raph should be here any minute. I just scanned the location, your computers should have gotten them. Anything interesting popping up?”

 

April’s voice crackled on the other end. “Hey, guys. It’s me. It looks like a man named, ‘Denis Goldburg’, purchased the warehouse six months ago. I knew I recognized his name; he’s one of the researchers at Nelson’s Pharmaceutical. He started about a year ago, but he’s extremely reserved—he keeps to himself. I’ve been suspecting about someone smuggling drugs in and out—I thought it was just gangs. Maybe this is bigger than we thought…”

 

Casey cursed under his breath, his eyes looking back at Leo. _Damn it, I hate it when you’re right, April._ “Why would a guy like that want to even **_buy_** a warehouse in the first place? What does drug dealing have to do with what’s going on?”

 

“I think Bishop has some friends on the inside,” April continued. “The Foot had political ties, maybe one of Bishop’s scientist moved up so that he can get his equipment. The company is big enough to go undetected—that is, if they’re good enough to get by.”

 

Donnie’s voice piped in. “We’ll keep digging on this guy. April’s right, Bishop has been underground for who knows how long. Especially with the drugs, he had to have people who knew what they’re doing. We just don’t know how deep this is.”

 

“Hey, Leo! I just got your scans,” Mikey’s cheerful voice caught Leo off-guard, but he didn’t mind. It’s been a while since he heard his brother be himself. “I found the blueprints and floor plans of the building. You can probably see it, but it’s got 4 floors. And, weirdly enough, it looks like a basement was constructed about 6 years ago—and even with Don’s tech, it’s completely blocked off. I can see the layout of every other floor except the basement. If that’s where Raph’s going, there’s no way to tell how deep or what rooms are there. Oh, also there’s four accessible exits on each rear of the room.”

 

“Good find, Mikey.” Leo smiled approvingly. “I better warn Raph about this…”

/././././././././././././././

**11:55PM**

_Raphael_

/././././././././././././././ 

_Man, it feels so freakin’ weird being out like this again. It’s just like old times. I didn’t realize how much I missed it._ Gripping the accelerator, Raphael sped quickly up the side street. He’d figure he’d take the scenic route, buying Leo and Casey more time to get to the warehouse. As he picked up his speed, the nerves began to kick in.

 

_It’s going to be fine. You’ve been in and out of shit before, this is for Mikey._

 

_“Raph,” Leo’s voice crackled in his earpiece. “Casey and I are here. You better get here. There are a lot of Dragons here, and a couple of others. It’s a full house.”_

 

“Got it.” Raphael was startled; hardly even recognizing his own voice. _Damn, forgot about Donnie’s voice encryption. At least no one will recognize my voice._ “anything else I should know, Fearless?”

 

_“There’s four floors—all the lights are out. Everyone piling in on the first floor, Mikey confirmed there are three more floors including a basement. The basement is nearly undetectable by our scanners, so just be careful if you go down there. There are four exits, so you have those that are accessible. Be careful, Raphael. Remember—just get the information and out.”_

 

_Thanks for the tenth notice, Fearless. Think I got it the first time._ Rolling his eyes, he took a sharp left closer to the docks. “Yeah, yeah. I’m heading in.”

 

Pulling over near an alleyway, Raphael hid his bike behind a dumpster. Raphael took a deep breath as he double-checked his gear. _You got this. Get the information and out._ Raphael began making his way toward the building. The old building was tall, and completed boarded up. _Great, looks like it can collapse any minute._

Hesitantly, Raphael looked above him and around the nearby building. He knew Leo and Casey were close, maybe too close. It didn’t matter now. He had to keep his focus. And he was steps away form the entrance—but he wasn’t alone.

 

The man looked young, pretty scrawny for someone who seems to be keeping charge of the entrance. A tacky gel that glopped his hair together held the man’s greasy black hair back. His face rested with a scowl, armed with a sidearm and knife at his pocket. _What a tool. The Dragons are really bringing them in cheap._ Regardless, he couldn’t leave his guard down. Standing in front of the door, the man’s deep voice grumbled. “The fuck you think this is—a dress up Halloween party?”

 

_Asshole. He’s one to talk._ Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out the white card and handed it to the man. His mask hid his smirk, as he confidently insinuated, “I was invited. Though, at least my costume doesn’t make me look like a complete douchebag. Looks like you fit right in then.”

 

_I could almost feel Leo cringing on the other line. I probably shouldn’t have started shit—but the asshole was asking for it. I gotta get in somehow and I ain’t letting this twerp get in my way._

 

The man grimaced his face, yanking the card out of Raphael’s hand. His voice venomously spitting out, “Who the fuck do you think you are coming here and insulting us? If you’re a supposed **_guest_** , then who the hell invited you?”

 

_Shit. Now, I bet Leo’s thinking, ‘told you so’. Great._ Raphael knew if he didn’t answer quick, this could be the end of the road for him. He could throw the Purple Dragon’s name—but if Hun’s in there, he definitely wouldn’t know the Nightwatcher.

 

“I did.” A soft and smooth voice broke the tension, even the man straightening up his posture. “Is there a problem?”

 

_Karai?_ Karai was dressed in black form head to toe. Her hair grew longer than it was, falling past her shoulder. Her long black trench coat fell to her ankles, her short black boots reaching the coat. Her tight black pants went up to her waist along with a black fitting blouse. Resting on her waist, her swords were nearby. Raphael took comfort in at least knowing he wasn’t the only one who’s walking in there armed. _Still doesn’t make me feel better knowing the freaking princess of the Foot Clan is here, and defending me nonetheless._

“Mistress Karai, forgive me.” The scrawny man babbled, stepping away from Raphael. “You understand the security here, ma’am! Your friend is…”

 

“I was told I would be allowed to bring a few of my men for protection. As you see,” Karai gestured toward Raphael, an eerie smile stretched across her face. “The Nightwatcher is more than capable. Once again, is there a problem, Kenneth?”

 

_She’s getting me in. Hell, she’s gonna bring me right in the VIP section. Why?_

 

“N-No, ma’am!” The scrawny man, Kenneth, stumbled over to the side as he opened the heavy metal door. “You both may come in.”

 

Karai strutted inside the building without a glance toward him. Treading behind her, Raphael quickly entered the narrow hallway. It was dimly lighted, and dark. As they reached the halfway point in the hall, Karai halted in her tracks. Turning around to Raphael, she smiled sinisterly as she glanced up and down. “I’m surprised Leonardo allowed you here, Raphael, I thought your Nightwatcher days were over.”

 

_How the hell does she-? Wait, has she **always** known it was me? Sure I beat up a couple of Foot years ago, but they were nobodies. I never ran into her. How does she even know me? _Raphael shook his head. None of that mattered now. His cover was blown, after everything. Yet, she was helping him? Raphael tenses his knuckles; if this was some decoy, he wasn’t going to fall for it.

 

“Shut it,” Raphael hissed as he leaned closer to her. “I don’t know what the fuck you think you’re doing-.”

 

“I believe, Nightwatcher,” Karai said his alias softer, her twisted smile remaining. “That I invited you to be my protection for this evening—Well, not that I need it, but it got you through that door. You need me, and I need your…services. We both want answers, and I believe this will be beneficial for the both of us. After all, you need an ally in there. Who better than myself?”

 

Raphael felt like his head was spinning. Was this a complete waste of time? Is this something in relation to the Foot, and has nothing to do with Mikey? _Am I seriously sticking my own neck out for **her**? And for what? No, I’m not walking into this shit without knowing what the hell is going on. _

 

_“Just play along,” Leo’s low voice echoed briefly. “If she’s letting you in, let her. We’ll deal with what she wants later.”_

 

“Fine,” Raphael gritted his teeth. He hated being used, especially if Karai thinks she can get what she wants. “What is this, then?”

 

“After all these years, you four know so little about the business.” With a small smile, she gestured to her surroundings. “Drugs, weapons, even men—it’s where all the trading happens. Tonight, specifically, are drugs. The Dragons called the meeting, specifically. Of course, their incapability implies an outside involvement—Bishop.”

 

“How do ya even know he’s gonna be here? What’s all this have to do with us?” _Unless she’s hiding more._

“I’ve seen what Bishop is capable of; his recklessness will cause chaos as it always does. You would know, after what happened to Donatello, he’s capable of anything. I believed him to be dead, as did the world. Until last year, his activity picked up amongst my men. I was interested—he lost everything—and blaming you four for it perhaps is where this all began. How he rose to this much power, is what troubles me. What he is doing to your brother, his goal—I must know.”

 

Raphael, frankly, didn’t give a damn what she meant. This wasn’t about her; this was about Bishop—about helping Mikey. What would she even want here, anyway? “what are ya doing here, anyway? Since when did ya care what the hell Bishop does, let alone to us?”

 

“It’s personal, let’s leave it at that.” Karai answered simply as she turned the handle and entered. Raphael, not leaving him much choice, followed at a distance. The room was large, and crowded. With only a few dull florescent lights shining from above, it was difficult to make out any faces. Though, to Raph, they were all the same. Knowing he probably beat more than half the people in here, he still kept his guard up. The room was nearly filled, all speaking amongst their own groups. _All you need is some music and this place looks like a party—and I can only guess who are host is._

 

Almost everyone in the room shifted their eyes to the two. Karai simply ignored as she continued forward, flowing through the crowds. Whispering hummed the room. Most likely about how the heir of the Foot is with the Nightwatcher. Raphael heard his alias be spat back and forth amongst the gangs. He wondered what would have happened if Karai wasn’t with him, or even what would have happened. Raphael shook his head as he continued following her. _Where is she even going?_  

/././././././././././././

**11:55PM**

Leonardo

/././././././././././././

“I see Raph!” Leonardo zoomed in on Raphael and watched as he began heading toward the entrance. “Casey, keep an eye on the perimeter.”

 

_“The fuck do you think this is—a dress up Halloween party?”_

_“I was invited. Though, at least my costume doesn’t make me look like a complete douchebag. Looks like you fit right in then.”_

_Mikey snickered on the end of Leo’s channel. “Ha! You owe me five bucks, Don. Told you he wouldn’t get five minutes in without picking a fight.”_

_“You win this time, Mikey. But Raph’s really pushing it.” Donnie countered. “He needs to watch himself.”_

Leonard rolled his eyes and let out a deep sigh. Leo grumbled under his breath, “Come on, Raph. Don’t start. Wait a second…” A slender figure stepped out of a small black car, and began approaching the entrance. Zoom in in closer, it wasn’t long before Leo felt his stomach drop. “Karai? What is she doing here…?”

 

_“I did. Is there a problem?”_

 

_“Karai?!” Mikey and Donnie’s voices chimed in shock._

_“I was told I would be allowed to bring in a few of my men for protection. As you see, the Nightwatcher is more than capable. Once again, is there a problem, Kenneth?”_

_“She’s protecting him.” Donnie stated hesitantly, his own concerns echoing in his tone. “Why is she even here?”_

_“I mean, she gave Leo the location,” Mikey stated. “Maybe there’s something she wants too. Maybe our help with something? How did she even know Raph would be the Nightwatcher? Wouldn’t she think Leo is-?”_

_“I’m surprised Leonardo allowed you here, Raphael, I thought your Nightwatcher days were over.”_

_She knew. She knew the entire time?_ Leonardo felt his stomach drop even further. If this was a trap, he handed Raphael right over to Karai. _No, we had an agreement. She would not go back on her word—not this time. I have to believe she’s helping us, but why? I’m putting Raph at risk for possibilities, for a chance that she’ll cooperate?_

_“Shut it, I don’t know what the fuck you think you’re doing-!”_

_“I believe, Nightwatcher, that I invited you to be my protection for this evening—Well, not that I need it, but it got you through that door. You need me, and I need your…services. We both want answers, and I believe this will be beneficial for the both of us. After all, you need an ally in there. Who better than myself?”_

 

_“She planned this all along,” Donnie thought out loud. “She somehow knew about Raph, and she’s using him. I don’t know, Leo. I have a really bad feeling about this. Maybe he should leave-.”_

_“But she let him in!” Mikey defended. “If anyone finds out that Karai is helping us, she’d get herself in trouble- and she’s not exactly the charitable go-out-on-Christmas-Eve to sing carols kind of gal, either. Even if she wants something, Raph can get the information and himself out of there. Right?”_

Leonardo steadied his breath. Donnie was right, this was sounding more and more like a setup. Karai never does anything without intent for herself. If it involves Bishop, what can she possibility want? But, Mikey also had a point. Since when does she stick her neck out for any of them? Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to trust his gut.

 

Quickly switching to Raph’s frequency channel, Leonardo knew he didn’t have much time. He spoke quickly and low. “Just play along. If she’s letting you in, let her. We’ll deal with what she wants later.”

 

Leonardo held his breath until he switched back to the first channel. All this doubts flooded his mind. Leonardo cursed under his breath, knowing that he should be the one putting himself in the situation. _I hope this doesn’t hurt us in the end…_

_“Fine. What is this, then?”_

_“After all these years, you four know so little about the business. Drugs, weapons, even men—it’s where all the trading happens. Tonight, specifically, are drugs. The Dragons called the meeting, specifically. Of course, their incapability implies an outside involvement—Bishop.”_

_“With the Foot mostly gone, these low lives have nothing else better to do.” Donatello said with digust. “Since when was Bishop interested in selling his work?”_

“Maybe not selling it,” Leonardo pondered. “but showing it. The more resources he gets, the more powerful he can be. And if he’s involved with that pharmaceutical group…”

 

_“B-But, it didn’t work on me, I mean, not totally…” Mikey hesitantly spoke. His voice cracking, “right?”_

_“Right,” Donnie answered quickly, sounding weary himself. “But, why?”_

 

_“How do ya even know he’s gonna be here? What’s all this have to do with us?”_

_“I’ve seen what Bishop is capable of; his recklessness will cause chaos as it always does. You would know, after what happened to Donatello, he’s capable of anything. I believed him to be dead, as did the world. Until last year, his activity picked up amongst my men. I was interested—he lost everything—and blaming you four for it perhaps is where this all began. How he rose to this much power, is what troubles me. What he is doing to your brother, his goal—I must know.”_

 

_“What are ya doing here, anyway? Since when did ya care what the hell Bishop does, let alone to us?”_

_“It’s personal, let’s leave it at that.”_

“Uh, Leo? We’re not alone.”

 

Leonardo turned to Casey. He was already behind a cinderblock wall, peering over to the southern end of the building they were on. Dead ahead, a figure cloaked completely stood at a far distance. Leo felt a sense of familiarity. It was the same figure he saw when he got the note from Bishop. _Wait. It’s the figure that dropped off those cryptic notes. But that was Mikey; he said he remembered dropping off that note while he was drugged. That can’t be Mikey—he’s with the others. Then who’s here?_

 

The figure stood at safe distance to avoid immediate harm, but close enough to start trouble. It didn’t move, nor did it shift its weight. It merely watched, occasionally looking down at the building, then back—and Leonardo felt every glance it was giving him. “Mikey?” Leonardo eased his movement as he reached toward the goggles and began scanning, “We’re not alone. Can you pick up who’s in our location?”

 

_“What do you mean?” Mikey was genuinely confused as Leo could hear the keyboard frantically clicking. “I got nobody else on the scanners—just you and Casey, bro. Why?”_

“The scan’s not working, someone’s watching us.” Leonardo placed the goggles back on his side, his still locked on the figure. _It could be bait. Get us away from Raph, run on a wild goose chase. But, that’s not Mikey, is it Bishop? I can’t leave Raph, not this early. Casey can’t go alone, and the others are too far away. Unless…_

“What do you want to do, Leo?” Casey quietly questioned as he grabbed his hockey stick off his bag, preparing himself to strike.

 

“Mikey, are you sure you’re not picking up anything?”

 

_“Okay, I’m definitely not picking up a heat signature nearby—man, someone really wants to avoid identity theft.”_

_“Someone’s trying really hard to not get detected.” Donatello mused. “There’s no way, unless it’s not organic. Or- oh no.”_

“That’s never good,” Casey mumbled. “What’s wrong?”

 

_“Whoever that is, it could be someone working with Bishop. If they get a heat scan of the building and detect Raph, he’s in trouble. Whether it’s Bishop or not, if he finds Raph- Leo, we have to stop him!”_

“But what about Raph?” Casey countered, shooting back at Leo. “Let me get this guy, I can handle him. You need to be here in case something happens-!”

 

_“Let me go,” Donnie’s voice perked. “We’re not that far, I can follow him. Even if he puts up a fight, I can keep him away from Raph. I can do it.”_

_“Not alone, bro!” Mikey exclaimed. “I’m going with you, Donnie! What if it’s Bishop? You can’t go alone!”_

The clock was ticking; they were running out of time. Leonardo knew he had to make close calls before, and he knew he had to act. Mikey was right, sending someone alone is too risky—especially with the drug. Especially with Raph completely surrounded, if something goes wrong he was to be close to help. He knew there wasn’t much choice, no matter how much he hated it. “Donnie, Mikey—go follow him. Casey and I are close enough that if someone goes wrong, we’ll be able to help. I’ll check in on Raph, you two better get going.”

 

Reaching his earpiece to switch his frequency, a loud crackling caused Leonardo to hiss in pain. Suddenly, a monotone voice spoke through his earpiece, “Just a want, just a please, just a stir in the air. Just as sign you are still alive, and waiting.” (2)

/././././././././././././

**12:15AM**

_Raphael_

/./././././././././././././

Raphael hates following, especially when Karai was the one calling the shots. He mostly stood silently beside her as she spoke with a few Dragons, all of the incredibly intimated by the Foot’s heiress. Some even recognized Nightwatcher, with Karai answering for him every time. She briefly mentioned his involvement with the Foot, and continued talking mostly business. Once the group left, Karai groaned as she crossed her arms. “I have a contact that’s supposed to meet with me to discuss about Bishop.”

 

“Ya know,” Raphael hissed. His impatience was getting the best of him, but he didn’t have all night. He needed answers. “I’m gettin’ real sick of standing around. Frankly, I don’t care why ya here. I wanna know why I am—and what you know about my brother in all this.”

 

Karai let out a deep sigh, as if she was giving something up. Turning to Raphael, she simply spoke softly. “My commander, Kito, was my only loyal man left after most of the foot disbanded. He was the first to notice Bishop’s activity, notably his drug smuggling. I frankly didn’t care, until Kito told me of what he saw one evening—Bishop, chasing after your brother, attacking him, and drugging him. Kito was fascinated by what he saw. Enough to betray me, and take my remaining men with him. I’m here to take back what’s rightfully mine.”

 

_So Bishop backstabbed her, and she’s here returning the favor. An eye for an eye. I get that, but if she knew about Mikey days ago—she’s been toying with Leo. Shock._ Raphael grew bothered at the fact that he didn’t even recognize most of the people in the room. _Hun’s not here, aren’t these his goons? Not even the quarter of Baxter Stockman’s brain is here—though I wouldn’t hold my breath. What’s the deal? I have to find answers, and if she’s not going to help then what the hell am I supposed to-?_

“Well, well. I thought you were long gone, ‘Nightwatcher’. It’s been quite sometime since you’ve meddled with my men, you got quite the balls to show up here—with Mistress Karai, nonetheless.”

 

_Just when I thought this was getting lonely._ Standing tall with a smug smile stretched across his face, Hun crossed his arms around his massive chest. Raphael smirked under his helmet, “You’re still alive? I thought I heard you got your ass handed to you by the Shredder a while back. Shame I missed that.”

 

“Enough,” Karai waved him off, irritability. Raphael shrugged; he shouldn’t have to shut his own mouth for her. Karai rolled her eyes back to Hun, “Hun, you and I have no quarrel with each other. I’m only here for business, as I hope you are.”

 

“Of course, Mistress.” Hun smugly replied. “I’ve heard of your interest in Bishop, thought the turtles took care of him years ago. What gives?”

“Mistress Karai, what an honor to have your presence this evening.” A smooth voice caught Raphael’s attention. Approaching them, he bowed respectively to her. Wearing a white lab coat, the slender man slowly, and menacingly, smiled. The man was unnerving, not because of his appearance or how he so comfortably entered the room. It was something about the way he smiled that caught Raphael. The lens of his helmet began scanning the man in the front, at the corner of his eyesight a small box popped up. _‘Denis Goldburg’? He works at the same place April does, guess that explains where the drugs come from. What’s he got to do with Bishop?_ “I apologize for my delay, Mr. Bishop noted your attendance was of the importance. May we discuss more in private?”

 

_Wait, Bishop reached out to **her** to meet? She knew she was coming here to meet him? Well, damn, that would have been something to mention. Good, now I really can beat it out of him. _

 

“Mr. Bishop did not mention you bringing an accomplice.” Goldburg shifted his unnerving gaze right at Raphael. “My, what a character you are. I didn’t realize the Foot was still active.”

 

“Just as you have your men, I have mine.” Karai addressed firmly. “I was told I’d speak with Bishop directly, not you.”

 

“He will join us shortly, he has a prior engagement.”

 

_He isn’t here? Why wouldn’t he be? Fuck. I hope the others are all right. I haven’t heard anything from Don or Leo._

“Now,” Goldburg smiled unnervingly as he began leading them toward a door. “If you follow me, we can retrieve to a more quiet space. We have much to discuss that I believe you’ll find…interesting.”

 

Opening it, a long narrow staircase leads down. Raphael felt his gut turn; this was the location they warned him about. _Of course we’re going down. If it means answers, I have no choice._

/./././././././././././././

**11:57 PM**

_Donatello_

/././././././././././././././

“Don, are you sure this is a good idea?” In the front of the van, April asked with concern as she helped Don gather his weapons. “You said it yourself, if this is a trap I won’t let you walk into this-!”

 

“We don’t have much choice, April.” Donnie continued searching through his duffle bag, grabbing a few of his throwing stars. “Leo and Casey have to stay with Raph, and if it’s a diversion then they can get Raph out. You and Sensei will be safe here, it’s well armed and you know how to get out of here in case something happens.”

 

“And Mikey?” April whispered cautiously. “Maybe he should stay with us, just in case.”

 

“No,” Donnie shook his head. Considering the possibility of Mikey relapsing and hurting April or Splinter? No, he wouldn’t put April through something like that. Besides, he had to believe his brother—he looks better, maybe they kept him away from Bishop long enough for the drug to dissolve from his system. “Mikey is fine, and if something happens to him I brought a sedative with me just in case. And if that happens, you can come pick him up afterward. Trust me, April, I need you here with Sensei holding the fort. We’ll be fine.”

 

“Okay…” April hesitantly answered, watching as Donnie rejoined Mikey in the back of the van.

 

“I got the guy’s location locked on my shell phone,” Donnie placed his phone on his belt, looking back up at Mikey. Donnie couldn’t help but worry—Raph was right in the heat of it, now with someone else near Leo? He knew he could handle whoever it was, but bringing Mikey with him made him feel both better, and worse. If his brother relapsed again, that’d be something to deal with. He didn’t have a choice, he had to believe that Mikey was as better as he looks. Besides, Mikey isn’t dumb—he would say if he thought he’d be a risk to the mission. _I trust Mikey—and to be honest, I need him with me just in case._ “Are you good to go?”

 

“As ready as I’ll ever be!” Mikey cheerfully responded, smiling up at his brother. Though his headache still remained, he couldn’t stand the idea of Donnie going off on his own. _Sensei’s right—I’m stronger than this. I feel better, and I can do this._

 

Donnie smiled as he nodded to his brother. Turning back to the others, Donnie gestured to the monitors. “Sensei, April—I just turned our trackers on so you can see us. I also have an emergency line hooked up with all of us, if something goes wrong push yours on your earpiece. If one of ours go off, Leo and Casey are nearby. Only come if you hear from us, we don’t want you two getting hurt.”

 

“My sons,” Splinter spoke wearily, looking up at Donatello and Michelangelo. “I cannot ignore this feeling that something is dreadfully wrong. Please stay near each other, and be safe.”

 

“We will be, father.” Donnie forced a smile. If Splinter was just as worried as he was, maybe this was all a bad idea. But it was too late—Raphael was already inside, and doing who-knows-what. Someone found Leo and Casey, putting them at risk. He had to go, he had to keep them safe. “Mikey and I will be back soon, stay safe you guys.”

 

Mikey took one look back at April and Splinter, offering a smile to the pair. He too didn’t feel good about this, but Donnie needed him. Looking back at Don, he rushed off beside him toward the rooftops. The brisk cold brought a shiver down his spine, as he paced himself beside Donnie. The massive gust of wind hit him hard; now able to see his own breath in the wind—a familiar sensation from nights earlier, when this all began. Even though he only remembered bits and piece of it, he knew it was something he couldn’t shake or forget.

 

Donatello began planning out any possible scenario in his head, figuring out how to approach the situation. At least, to him, it was better than worrying. As they got closer to the figure, Donnie yanked his brother’s arm back, halting Mikey immediately. Leaning in close, Donnie whispered, “Stay here. I’m going to check it out alone, first.”

 

“What?!” Mikey exclaimed loudly, quickly shifting his tone to a whisper. “Dude, no way, if it’s Bishop-!”

 

“Then you can’t be seen.” Donnie countered sternly, locking his eyes with his brother’s. His voice was firm as he ordered, “If it’s Bishop, tell Leo and he’ll come. For all we know, you can still be drugged, and I don’t want you getting hurt-!”

 

_I thought you trusted me, Don. I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t, right?_ “Don, I’m fine! Honestly, if I didn’t feel right I would say something! I get it, I didn’t before, but I can’t let you go and-!”

 

_“Guys?” Leo’s voice echoed into his earpiece. “Did you get that weird voice on your frequency?”_

“What? What voice?” Donnie questioned, still looking around the area to make sure it was safe.

 

_“It was a weird warning, of some sort. I think this is a trap. Maybe I should pull Raph out, tell him to leave-.”_

_“Uh, Leo?” Casey’s voice broke, “That guy’s gone! He was just here-!”_

“What?” Donnie frantically reached for his weapon, steadily gripping it as he looked around him. Quickly reaching for his phone, he searched for the location of the figure. Suddenly, his phone flew out of his hand as a sharp knife impaled right through it and flung across the building.

 

“Ah,” Standing on the edge of the building, Bishop stood. A cruel smile stretched across his face as he stared at the two, “it’s been far too long, hasn’t it?”

/./././././././././././././

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quotes by Franz Kafka


	14. Chapter 14 // "Decisions, Decisions"

/./././././././././././

12:00AM

_Raphael_

/././././././././././

_Of course we’re going down. If it means answers, I have no choice._ Karai stepped ahead of Raphael as she followed the man down the stairs. Looking back, he watched as one of the other men shut the door behind him. Whether he liked it or not, he knew he was stuck. _Perfect. Now I’m really cornered in._

At the end of the staircase, Goldburg and his men stepped into a room. Karai didn’t seem to have a hesitation as she quickly entered. Raphael began to doubt his “partner”, how could she willingly walk into this? _As much of a bitch she is, she ain’t dumb. This is clearly a trap- why is she letting this happen? Unless, she’s still hiding something. Perfect._

“Please, have a seat.” Goldburg gestured. The room was no bigger than his own, with a conference table and bright lights all around. Not a single window, or exit. Except, at the rear end of the room, that looked locked. Raphael was stuck, and knew there was no way out. “I am honored to have the opportunity to discuss business. I am well aware of the Foot’s current _conditions_ after the fall, but no matter, I believe my work can-.”

 

“I’ve waited long enough,” Karai spat. Raphael was surprised, though frankly, he didn’t mind. He too was sick of waiting; maybe she could actually get answers. “I am here out of courtesy, not pleasure. Bishop requested my presence, not you. I don’t give a damn about-.”

 

“Oh, but you will.” Golburg reached under his chair, pulling out some vitals and needles. The iridescent glow from the tube made Raphael uneasy. _Did he give this crap to Mikey?_ “I’m well aware of your knowledge of what my work can do, Mistress Karai. Myself and Agent Bishop have been working on perfection for years. Even, the late Master Shredder assisted us.”

 

_Shredder? He was a part of this? Damn, what party did we miss?_ Raphael slightly turned his head to Karai. Seeing not even a flitch from her, he couldn’t help but think how deep Karai was in it. If the Shredder knew, she had to- she was his right hand. If she knew this for years, why care now? Raphael hated not knowing.

 

“I’m sure,” Goldburg continued, picking up one of the syringes. “You are filled with questions. I would not be presenting this to you if it was nothing short of perfection, mind you. But, I believe its affects will be…beneficial to you. After all, it has been already for you.”

 

Karai place her hand back at her side, having her weapon near reach. Though, her voice remained steady, “What are you saying?”

 

“Tell me, Mistress Karai.” Golburg smirked, toying with the needle around his fingertips. “How did you think the Foot were so loyal to you over the years? The human brain is a rather fascinating organ, truly. How we think, feel, act- it’s all in there. Yet, loyalty is so intriguing. How is it that your men followed your every single command without a hint of morality? Without question? Why, Mistress Karai, we’ve known each other for years, practically. I’ve been overseeing the late Master Shredder’s ninja for quite some time; I’m rather surprised you weren’t aware. Maybe you got too smitten with that buffoon, Chaplin- but no matter. When you took the Shredder’s place, I backed down- after all, you are a loose canon especially with your past affiliations with the turtles. Besides, Stockman is as brilliant as he was ignorant- I never let him into my work. So, I went underground, found an ally with much more resources than the Shredder had. I grew fascinated with what Bishop has been studying, and together, we created perfection. But, it wasn’t enough, you see. The Foot, Purple Dragons- all of them were so incompetent. Not bright enough, not passionate enough, not…human enough. What if we can alter memories, feelings, and even halt all emotion together? It’ll be like a clean slate. Agent Bishop wanted to test it on the turtles, but we didn’t have the opportunity- you know well how those four are. Until recently when your fellow commander came to our attention, Kito. Unlike yourself who made a _truce_ with the turtles, he seeked justice. Vengeance. His enthusiasm was put to good use, he made a fine subject. Kito, come.”

 

Emerging from the rear door, a slender man stepped into the room. He looked as normal as any skilled ninja would be. His face was bruised, his figure looked terribly unhealthy. _Was this guy tortured? He looks like a skeleton, like he isn’t even alive. I have to stop this- I won’t let this happen to Mikey._

He stood tall, grounded, his eyes looking dead ahead. Not even fully acknowledging anyone in the room. Karai’s voice softened as she took a very small step forward, “Kito! Explain yourself! What are you doing? You swore your allegiance to me, I thought you were my friend-!”

 

His eyes shifted toward her. Without moving a muscle, he spoke in a monotone voice. “Mistress Karai, I have never felt so free. Do listen to what the brilliant doctor is saying, he is astounding. His work will be beneficial to Foot, as it was for me-.”

 

“Kito!” Karai called his name again, more desperate. Raphael watched her inch closer, as he remained still. “You are not a fool, or weak. This isn’t-!”

 

“It is me,” Kito insisted, remaining eerily still.

 

“Of course,” Goldburg continued nonchalantly, “Memories are rather tricky to crack. Especially core memories- we tried to erase you entirely, Mistress, but it was difficult. While he does remember his past, and you, blocking his free will really allowed him to be quite loyal to us. Don’t fret, dear, he was extremely helpful in retrieving our newest subject. I do hope he will be more…flexible than Mr. Kito, here.” He smirked as his gaze finally shifted to Raphael. “My apologizes, I did not get introduced to your…ally. My, my. You must be the ‘Nightwatcher’ my men have been whispering about? That’s a name I haven’t heard on the streets in quite sometime. I did not realize your affiliation with the Foot, or perhaps, you are here on your own terms- making my interest even more invested in you.”

 

_This asshole needs a serious reality check. If this drug gets into the streets, the whole city can go into chaos. I can’t let this happen to Mikey or anyone else. We have to stop this._ Raphael kept his ground, crossing his arms. He was about to speak when a notification popped to the right of his vision. _‘EMERGENCY ALERT RECIEVED FROM: DONATELLO, 4 BLOCKS AWAY FROM YOUR LOCATION’._

 

_Don would never set his off unless it was bad, like real bad. Where the fuck is Leo? Wait, actually, why haven’t any of them contacted me in a while? I don’t care about the mission; I heard enough- I need to get out of here. Now._ Raphael knew he was running out of time, he had to speed this up.

“Clearly ya want something out of this,” Raphael spat. “Money? Power? ‘Rule the city’? What cliché are ya? Or are you Bishop’s lackey doing the dirty work for him until he gets rid of ya altogether?”

 

“On the contrary, my motives are that- my own.” Goldburg said dismissively. Turning back to Karai, his twisted grin widen as he watched her examine Kito from a distance. “Kito, you are dismissed. Mistress Karai, I want to make a deal with you. Due to Agent Bishop’s much longer anticipated delay, I will foresee this deal myself until his arrival. Let’s be honest, the Foot has fallen. Many have retrieved to Japan, and those remaining turned their loyalties to us. Bishop sees potential in you, he wishes for your cooperation. After what the turtles did to Master Shredder, he is allowing your involvement in their capture- for now. We will exchange your service for the drug, if you assist in capturing the turtles.”

 

“Your work is…impressive. But I’m not a gun-for-hire, I have my own-,” Karai hovered her hand over her weapon. _I could really use a sample of that drug, it could be a lead. But if Don’s in trouble, I don’t have time to-._

_“Raph!”_ Leo’s desperate cry broke in his earpiece. Reception began to grow static as Raphael desperately tried to make out. _“Bishop’s going after-! We need-you-!”_ The static interference suddenly got cut off. _Bishop?!_ _Fucking technology._ _Damn it! I have to get to them!_

 

“Well, as of this moment, I believe the one called Michelangelo is being retrieved as we speak. You can see the drug in action.” Goldburg laughed sinisterly, still toying with the syringe in his hand. “Your involvement, and the remainder of the Foot clan, will be quite beneficial for you, Mistress Karai. After all, the four who murdered your father- what’s a worse fate than death?”

 

“What are you implying?”

 

“You see,” He continued. “The drug can only do so much, it needs…Negative reinforcement. Sure, the drug is in his system and is beneficial, but he needs to be…reminded of where his new loyalties will lie. Who better to do it than the one who lost her father to them?”

 

Raphael held his breath, his eyes glued on Goldburg’s men. He could probably take them out. Especially in his suit, he’s pretty well protected. Suddenly he caught Goldburg’s eye, as the man’s sinister smile stretched. “How about you, Nightwatcher? How would you like to hunt the turtles for me?”

/./././././././././././././

12:15AM

_Leonardo_

/././././././././././././././ 

“Donnie, Mikey—go follow him. Casey and I are close enough that if something goes wrong, we’ll be able to help. I’ll check in on Raph, you two better get going.”

 

Leo switched his earpiece frequency to Raph’s when a loud crackling caused Leo to hiss in pain. Suddenly, a monotone voice spoke through, “Just a want, just a please, just a stir in the air. Just a sign you are still alive, and waiting (1).”

 

“What the-?” Leonardo jumped, looking around the area frantically. Don assured them that this frequency was highly encoded, how did someone break through? Casey looked at Leo confusingly before Leo spoke, “Did you hear that?”

 

“Hear what?” Casey wearily asked.

 

“That voice? On the frequency?” Leo quickly switched back to the other line, his eyes still on the building. “Guys? Did you get that weird voice on your frequency?”

 

_“What?” Donnie echoed, “What voice?”_

“Uh, Leo! That guy’s gone!” Leo snapped back around to Casey, who was rushing toward the edge of the building.

 

_“What?”_ Donnie’s voice suddenly dropped, _“Bishop. Figures you’d show up.”_

 

“Bishop?!” Leonardo exclaimed, turning to Casey. “Bishop is with them-! We have to-!”

 

_“Wouldn’t you like to know?”,_ Mikey’s voice was snarky, confident even. Leonardo couldn’t make out the other low hum, probably Bishop’s voice. Suddenly, his youngest brother gasped out.

 

_“Mikey!”_ Donnie exclaimed. _“Hiding behind your toys won’t get you far, Bishop! Mikey go! I’ll catch up!”_ Suddenly, the sound of weapons clashing echoed into Leonardo’s earpiece.

“Damn it!” Leonardo cursed under his breath, taking out his swords. “Don, you and Mikey have to stick together! You can’t take Bishop alone, do you hear me?! Mikey, are you alright?”

“Leo,” Casey’s voice grew concerned, turning back to Leo. He was itching to do something, anything. “We can’t stand here!”

 

“I know!” Leonardo steadied his breath, gripping his katana close Donnie’s emergency stress signal went off on Leonardo’s shell-cell. _Don wouldn’t set this off without a reason, what if he’s hurt?_

Leonardo looked back down at the warehouse. He’s had to make plenty of tough calls before, but whenever it involved his brothers, it still makes his stomach turn. Bishop was going after the others, but can he leave Raph alone in there? _Karai is with him. She wouldn’t turn her back to me, not this time. I have to trust her. I have to help Donnie and Mikey. Raph, please understand._ Switching his frequency back to Raphael’s, he nodded to Casey before taking off across the rooftops. “Raph! Bishop is going after Mikey and Don! Casey and I are going after them, we need you out- Now! Whatever you got we’ll work with! Get yourself out and follow my location!”

 

Leonardo only hoped his brother heard his message. Steading his breath, he continued running off, Casey not too far behind. Looking down at his shell-cell, seeing Mikey’s tracker dashing across the screen, further away from April and Splinter. _Good thing Mikey’s fast, I just hope he’s feeling up for this._ But something was wrong. Donnie’s locator was off, unmoving. His heart stopped. _The emergency stress signal, is this why Donnie set it off?_

 

Not hearing from his youngest brothers worried him. Switching his frequency again, he called, “Don! Mikey! What’s your situation?”

 

_“Leo!”_ Mikey breathlessly gasped, panting. _“We’re still moving but, dude, he’s fast! Donnie leg got hit, I can’t make it across the next building with him! I’m gonna have to hold off-!”_

_“I’m fine-!”_ Donnie hissed, clearly irritated at his younger brother’s statement. _“But—Mikey get down!”_

 

“Hold on! I’m on my way! Casey, call in April and Splinter, tell them what’s going on and that we need them close for medical backup!”

 

Leonardo prayed he’d make it in time.

/././././././././././././././

_12:10AM_

Michelangelo

/././././././././././././././ 

“Ah,” Standing on the edge of the building, Bishop stood. A cruel smile stretched across his face as he stared at the two, “it’s been far too long, hasn’t it?

 

Donatello froze. Instinctively, he put his arm out in front of Mikey, the other reaching for his Bo. “Bishop,” he hissed, “figures you’d show up.”

 

“I’m in no mood for games, Donatello.” Bishop said dismissively, his eyes shifting to the younger turtle. “There’s no need for dramatics. I’m simply here retrieving my specimen. How are you feeling, Michelangelo?”

 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Mikey snapped back. He’d be damned if he was going to let this guy get in his head again. He beat him; he beat the stupid drug that was in his system. Hell, he felt better than ever before. Confidently, Mikey readied his weapons he smirked.

 

“I believe I already do.” Looking down at his arm, attached on his wrist looked like a small device. Tapping it a few times, he read, “Considering your metabolism, the drug should already be pulsing through your veins. You’ve already lost yourself to it, triggered by a stressful environment or emotion. Once you’ve given into it, one final injection can ensure your complete obedience. I just need to remind you who has the upper hand here.”

 

Suddenly, Mikey gasped out in pain. His veins suddenly felt like they were on fire. His head pounding with every ounce of pain that pulsed through him. Refusing to give in, he stood tall, absentmindedly hanging his head and rubbing his template.

 

“Mikey!” Donnie cried out in worry. Looking back on his brother, he turned back to Bishop. “Hiding behind your toys won’t get you far, Bishop! Mikey, go! I’ll catch up!” Dashing off, Donnie quick stepped past Bishop’s throwing stars. Snapping his weapon, Bishop retreated back from the attack. Pulling out what looked like his own sword, his weapon clanged against Donnie’s.

 

_“Damn it! Don, you and Mikey have to stick together! You can’t take Bishop alone, do you hear me? Mikey, are you alright?”_

 

Donnie couldn’t breath even an answer, his struggle against Bishop tensed. Bishop began to overpower Donnie, sending a kick straight through him across the building. Collapsing before the edge, Donnie was fast. Jumping back up in a flash, he was already dashing right back into the attack.

 

_Donnie! There’s no way I’m leaving you, bro!_ Mikey worryingly watched from the distance, looking around his surroundings. Donnie was quick enough, but Bishop was stronger. His eyes widened as Donnie was struck again, flipping the air before landing hard on the ground. Releasing his weapon, Mikey was thankful that Splinter trained him with a _Kurisigama_ last year. Releasing the long metal chain, he cried out, “Hey, douchebag!”

 

With no even a turn of his head, Bishop treaded closer to Donnie. Raising his weapon high, he was ready to strike. Before he could reach his victim, his arm wrapped in the metal chain. Snapping his head back to Mikey, he resisted, pulling the chain and it’s wielder closer to him. Waving his weapon across, Mikey barley missed the sharp blade as he leaned his head back. With a high kick, Mikey managed to catch Bishop off guard. Sending him straight to the ground, Mikey used the chain to pull Bishop’s arm back. Hearing the arm crack, he stepped on his Back pulling the chain tighter—a small smile stretched. _I got him! I actually got him! Ha! Wish Raph could see this._ Turning back to Donnie, he felt relieved to his brother back on his feet. A small gash across Donnie’s forehead began to drop with blood. “Don! You okay?”

 

That was a mistake. As if a gust of wind, Mikey felt a strong grasp on his left wrist. Suddenly, like he weighted nothing, he was thrown off, his hand loosing his weapon. Although he landed a short distance away, it wasn’t long before Bishop used his own weapon against him. Mikey felt the chain ricochet across his face. Turning it just before it could hit him square in the jaw, the chain struck his nose and check. The blunt force blurred his vision quickly. Suddenly a cloud of smoke was around them, as he heard Bishop grunt and collapse. “Mikey!” A hand grasped his, bringing him back on his feet, handing back his weapon with the other. “We have to get out of here! Now!”

 

“No kidding!” Mikey’s voice cracked, shaking his head. His vision began to clear. Donnie grasped Mikey’s arm tightly, pulling him away from the smoke and picking up his pace. Running across the building they leapt onto the next one. After a few moments, Mikey snapped his head back. Able to run beside Don, he looked back to see Bishop right on their tail. “What do we-?!”

 

Don was beside him, and then he wasn’t. Not even halfway across the rooftop, Mikey halted when he didn’t find his brother beside him. Lying near the edge of the building, Donnie struggled to stand back on his feet. Donnie reached for his earpiece, clearly tinkering with it. Mikey thought he heard his shell cell alarm go off. _Donnie’s distress call? Oh no._ His brother was much more graceful then himself, he wouldn’t just fall. Bishop wasn’t too far behind. Running as fast as he can back, his eyes widened. Sticking on the back of Donnie’s leg was a throwing star, pierced right in the back of his knee. “Donnie! A-Are you alright?!”

 

“Keep going!” Donnie spat, hesitantly reaching to pull the star out. Like a band-aid, he ripped it out, biting back his tongue. He squeezed Mikey’s arm, his eyes piercing right through him as his voice got deeper, “I said, **go**! Now!”

 

“Not a chance, bro!” Mikey wrapped his arm around his brother’s torso. There was no way he’d ever leave Donnie or anyone of them behind. He’d drag him if he had to. Which was pretty much what he did. Hearing his brother’s grunts, he kept his pace. “Sorry, Don! We have to keep-!”

 

_“Don! Mikey! What’s your situation?”_

 

“Leo!” Mikey breathlessly gasped, panting. “We’re still moving but, dude, he’s fast! Donnie leg got hit, I can’t make it across the next building with him! I’m gonna have to hold off-!”

 

“I’m fine-!” Donnie hissed, snapping his head back to Mikey. Turning his head back, Bishop was already here. He gasped, “But—Mikey get down!” Yanking on his brother’s arm, they both fell down to the ground in a thud. Barley missing the throwing stars above them. He hissed, feeling his leg twist.

 

_“Hold on! I’m on my way! Casey, call in April and Splinter, tell them what’s going on and that we need them close for medical backup!”_

 

“Donnie!” Mikey jumped back on his feet, shooting his head back up at Bishop. His eyes were glaring right at him, shining both his swords hand-in-hand. _I can do this. Leo’s coming. I can hold him off until Leo gets here. I’m the Battle Nexus Champion. I faced guys uglier than him. I can do this._

_‘You know you can’t.’ Bishop’s voice screamed through his eyes._

Physically, he could feel himself changing. It made him sick, he felt like he could collapse. Turning back to Donnie, seeing his brother distraught— _I can’t give up. Splinter, Leo, Raph, Donnie, everyone—they’re fighting for me. I’m still me, I’m stronger. I can do this._ Gripping his own weapon, he forced another trademark smirk, “Looks like we’re gonna tango, huh?”

/././././././././././././

12:30AM

_Raphael_

/././././././././././././ 

“How about you, Nightwatcher? How would you like to hunt the turtles for me?”

 

Raphael didn’t have time for negotiations. His brothers were out there, being hunted by Bishop. He couldn’t give a flying hell what some stuck-up scientist guy would want from him. But, he can’t walk out empty handed. _Leo said it himself- we’ll deal with it later. I’ve made shitter deals that I’ve ducked out of before. Besides, we’re gonna nail this guy before he makes any real threats._ Turning back to his ‘partner’, Karai already had her mind set.

“He works for me,” Karai snapped before Raphael could speak. “As I said before, I am no mercenary. It’s clear you’re more than capable to do your own dirty work. Although, if it’s a partnership you seek, Bishop’s presence is necessary.”

 

“He should be returning shortly, Mistress Karai. Do stay.” Goldburg insisted, his eyes glancing down at his watch. “Mr. Bishop much anticipated your presence, I am sure he won’t be long. The specimen will be with him, if you wish to see it yourself.”

 

_Wait. Bishop’s going after Mikey—does he already have him? That explains Don’s distress signal. But why wouldn’t Leo say so? If Bishop has Mikey and is on his way, I can’t leave—I can save Mikey and get us out of here. But, Don wouldn’t set his signal out for nothing. I can’t abandon him and the others; Leo said he needed me out. But, I can’t walk out of here on my own. If Karai’s staying, Goldburg will know something’s up if I just walk out right now. I’m stuck. Fuck._

“Perhaps,” Karai crossed her arms, glancing back down at the syringe. “I want the sample. If we are to be partners, I want to know what we’re working with here.”

 

“So,” Goldburg twirled it around with his hand, his grin growing wider. “We have a deal?”

 

“Not so fast.” Karai returned her own wicked smile. “Since, again Bishop is not here, we are doing this under my terms. You can have your toys, do what you want, but I oversee it—especially in the affairs of the turtles. I want to be there whenever you experiment them, hunt them, or whatever you wish to be done—Anything that involve them, I must have my say. And if you are ever to ‘experiment’ on any of my men again, I will personally see to your demise. And it will not be swift. I want Kito cured.”

 

_Well isn’t this fucking dandy—she’s selling us out. Shock. Or, maybe Leo isn’t so crazy after all and she’s trying to get insight access for us? No, he’s just crazy. Crazier than the princess of the Foot clan._

“Cured?” Goldburg’s brow rose, continuing to twirl the syringe in his hand. “Hm, I believe I could create an antibiotic to fight off the drug’s symptoms. I’ll have to wipe his memory, though. Torture can be quite difficult to undo, you would know. Although, there is a risk of an overdose—Hm…I do not understand why you wish to do so. His alliance to you is stronger than ever. Why do you wish to free him from such binding loyalty?”

 

“There is more to one than just loyalty—judgment, insight—you took away his humanity. You used him against his will. Not a very positive way to start this ‘relationship’, hm? I want a cure created for him. Do so, and I will offer my resources to you.”

 

_I can’t stand here anymore. Where the fuck is Leo and Don and why the hell aren’t they updating me?_

 

“It is a deal.” Goldburg spoke confidently. Flipping the syringe, he slid it across the table to Karai. “As per our agreement. Now, to fulfill your end. Mr. Bishop will be returning with the little turtle. With the third and final dosage, he should be completely under our control. While he is being ‘conditioned’ with us, your men must fetch the next turtle he has taken an interest with. Raphael, I believe his name was. Begin the administrating the first drug to frazzle him. Once we evaluate his initial reaction to it, we will then strategize how to administer the second, and how strong it needs to be. Oh, and don’t think we won’t be watching to be sure the job is done. Don’t take it the wrong way, of course. We’re simply…making sure there’s no hiccups.”

 

_Me? Bishop wanted me? When Mikey snapped, he said that Bishop initially was going after Leo. Is this a trap? Does he know it’s me under here, or does he actually want me?_

“I’m sure. Fine. It’ll be done.” Taking the syringe, Karai looked up at him. Handing the syringe, Karai nodded her head. “Nightwatcher, take this. You know what to do.”

 

_She’s letting me go. She’s practically opening the door wide open for me. She’s actually helping us? Asking him to make a ‘cure’, insisting to be involved anything in regards to us—maybe Leo’s girlfriend isn’t so bad. Why is she doing this?_

 

_I have to make a choice._

_If I take this, I can leave. I can just walk out. I can figure out what’s going on out there. My brothers are in trouble—Donnie might be really hurt, Bishop is after Mikey, and I haven’t heard from Leo—I can get out there and help. I’ll help the others. Hell, I’d give it right to Donnie and Leatherhead, they can probably figure this out._

_But, I can’t go out like this. I’m practically working for these people now I’d have to take off the suit and watch my back. Besides, I’m sure Bishop is noticing me not there. I’d have to watch my back double time—If I get caught now, it’ll cost way more. It’s a risk, a huge risk. I’m not just putting myself out on the line—now Karai, and especially Mikey, are involved._

_Or, I could stay. If Bishop already got to Mikey somehow, he’s bringing him here. If I leave, they’re going to torture my little brother. God, even thinking about that…No. I can’t. They’re going to drug him up again, and we may not be able to bring him back this time. If I stay, I can at least get them to not do anything to him. Karai will be overseeing it, Mikey don’t die. Right? Karai’s on our side, supposedly, I can sneak him out. It’ll be the end of it. They won’t have Mikey anymore, and the cure—wait._

_But, if I do that, Goldburg won’t make the cure. I don’t know how long that’d take. Can I stomach the idea of standing here, having to watch them hurt Mikey knowing that there will be something to help him in the end? He’ll look at me, probably wondering why I’m not helping him—God, no, I can’t even think about that. Karai could be at risk, I’m sure Leo won’t appreciate that._

_I have to make a choice._

_I just hope I can live with it._

/./././././././././././././././

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quotes by Franz Kafka


	15. Chapter 15 // "Deliverance"

/./././././././././././././././

It was beginning to rain now. Mikey wondered how he didn’t even hear the thunder over his own breathing. Now as the rain began to pour down, he shivered. It wasn’t supposed to rain.

 

“Looks like we’re gonna tango, huh?”

 

John Bishop was fast; faster than Mikey remembered him being—quick enough to gracefully slide across the ledge and leap in the air to strike at him. Bishop had always underestimated him anyway. Mikey smirked. Bishop underestimated him for far too long. _Time to show him what happens when he goes against a Battle Nexus Champion._

Bishop blade’s expanded. Something Mikey didn’t plan for as he quickly tried to dodge out of its reach. Mikey hissed as he felt the blade slice his arm. Although it looked like nothing more than a paper cut, Bishop’s twisted smile said other wise.

 

“Neurotoxins are quite painful, as you will soon find out.”

 

_Crap, he laced the blade. I should have guessed that. It’s not like I’m already drugged up, let’s just add it on then!_ Rolling his eyes, Mikey couldn’t help but feel the irony that is his young life. _Turtle luck true to form, right Raph? Hope he has better luck than I- CRAP!_

Splinter always did say distractions were Mikey’s greatest downfall. He almost was happy that his father couldn’t see this now—once again his distraction got him hurt. If he was paying attention, he would have missed the blade. If he helped Don faster, he wouldn’t be hurt right now.

 

_Wait- Don! Bishop’s throwing stars, were those laced? Oh no-!_

 

_“Useless. Completely incapable.”_

It was a new voice. Not Bishop’s, nor his father’s. It was familiar, it felt closer to him. Mikey couldn’t help but slightly turn toward the voice. _Donnie?_

_“Just go with him, it’s not like we need you anymore.”_

“—Mikey!” Donnie exclaimed, trying to stand back on his feet. “Move!”

 

_Hallucinations, again? Was that real? Or not? No, Donnie’s right here and so is- oh, crap!_

 

“This ends now.” Bishop jumped midair when he gripped his own sword, ready to swing right down again. Mikey quickstepped, further away from Don, wrapping his kurisigama around Bishop’s ankle—sending him right down. Bishop recovered quickly, ready to pull the chain right back again. _Not again, ass-hat!_

Stepping his foot right down on the chain, he gripped his weapon tightly while using his other hand to toss a duel throwing star right at him. Bishop was able to defend himself against one, but the other stuck him right on his collarbone. _Not exactly what I was aiming for, but close enough!_

“You pathetic runt! Enough of this!” Bishop hissed, ripping the star right off. He was reaching to the device on his wrist again. Mikey gasped, he couldn’t let Bishop access that headache-making device. He might as well be done for at that point.

 

_“Just let him. It’s not like I’d care.”_

_Shut up, hallucination Don. I’m stronger than this. You’ll see._

_I got this!_ Swiping his throwing star right at the device, he held his breath as it headed straight to Bishop. Suddenly, the star struck the device, imploding itself with electrical statics flashing through. Mikey could bet underneath those dark shades, Bishop’s eyes were wide as he watched his plan be foiled. Now was Mikey’s chance, smiling as he threw another star right at Bishop’s hand. Still lying on his back, he released his grip on the chain to defend himself against the star. Mikey’s smile grew wider, this was getting too easy. Recoiling back his chain, Mikey jumped right on top of Bishop, gripping the blade of his weapon right on Bishop’s neck.

 

Bishop merely snickered, his head tilting from the blade back to Mikey. “Go on, do it.”

 

Mikey hesitated. Sure he’s hurt a good few dragons and Foot ninja pretty good—after all the nun-chucks really couldn’t do too much. Suddenly, Mikey could feel his vision begin to blurry. _That stupid toxin! Crap, geez this is just not my week._ “I-I’m not like you, dude.”

 

“Your mistake.” Bishop kicked the turtle off of him. Mikey flew back, his shell hitting the concrete hard. “Fool. Your resistance is futile. Enough of this.”

 

“Hey!” Donnie quickly swung his bo right at Bishop, hoping the distraction would be enough for his brother. “Mikey, get out of here!”

 

“You just don’t know when do quit do you?” Bishop chuckled darkly. “I’ll remind you of your place.”

/./././././././././././././././././ 

_“Your brothers missed you, Leonardo.” Splinter spoke softly, carefully sipping his tea. His eyes never left his eldest, watching him stiffen his posture. “Your absence weighed on us all deeply.”_

_“As did I.” I hung my head. “I…I am sorry, Father. What happened with Raphael, I should have-.”_

_“That is behind us now,” Splinter said. “I want to remain focused on the future, our future. When you left us, I did not know how long you would be gone. When you stopped writing, Michelangelo was disheartened about your return—we all were-.”_

_“Father,” I choked. I couldn’t hear it out loud; I already knew what he did, why I stopped writing. I wasn’t better; I couldn’t go back home a failure. I didn’t want to hear what my brothers did because of it. I didn’t want to think of Raphael’s insults spitting out, Donatello’s disappointed frown, and Michelangelo’s broken smile reassuring the hope. I couldn’t begin to face that._

_“I know you, Leonardo.” Recognizing my distress, Splinter offered a small smile. “I am very well aware of why you stopped writing. What you were probably thinking and doing out there. I felt your spirit, I believed in your return. But, your brothers had more trouble than I. That is why I wish to speak to you.”_

_“I…I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

_“When you became the leader, Leonardo, you took more than the burden of your team—but your family. As I am the only living successor of the Hamato clan left, and you four my sons, once my time has end, you will take my place as head of the family. When you left, our home was in chaos so to speak. Without your presence, each of your brothers struggled without you. I waited, I watched. Donatello stepped up, began taking care of the home and watching over us all. That is why, I have decided, that Donatello be your successor. If anything happens to Donatello, then Raphael will be his successor, following Michelangelo. My decision was not based on ‘skill’, but of who I feel can carry this weight. Raphael is strong, brave, and very skilled. He needs to believe, having a strong figure to follow. That is why he fell so deep without you, Leonardo. Donatello, he has taken many burdens himself—he began working, looking after us, and keeping us together. I believe all four of you can become your own leaders, and each of you have in your own grown into that. Donatello has done very well, and I believe he can learn a lot from you. You do not need to be concerned about your brothers. Raphael agreed with my decision, and was supportive just as Michelangelo was.”_

_I let my father’s words sink in._

_Donatello, being my successor. Then Raph. Then Mikey._

_To be honest, it terrified me at first. Not that I don’t think any of my brothers would be capable to do it—but thinking about any of them carrying the same burden that I do everyday. Despite us butting heads as kids, I knew Raphael never truly wanted to be the leader. He rather me make the calls and argue with me about it then fully to it himself. Donnie, he usually is the one who helps me plan. I wasn’t surprised of Splinter’s decision, regardless of the ‘age’ differences by allowing Donnie to precede Raph._

_I’ve never thought about my own death, and what were to happen after. As long as it was myself before my family, that was all that mattered. Like Splinter, I guess we too must all think and come to the point in our lives where we need to consider our own ends._

_I believe in Donnie, just as I do with Raph and Mikey._

_As for myself…I will do what it takes to protect my family. Always._

/./././././././././././././././ 

It wasn’t supposed to rain.

 

Leonardo shook off the rain that began pouring down his face as he continued racing across the rooftops. It shouldn’t have been this way; there should have been a plan. _I never should have had Mikey away from me. He should have come with me instead of Casey, Don would have been safe—he wouldn’t be hurt right now._

Leonardo never wished this burden on any of his brothers—and prayed they would never know of it. When Splinter made him leader, he knew the responsibilities that would come with it. Sometimes, it’s moments like these that he wonders if it was even worth it. All the fights with Raphael—for years, all those terrible insulting and painful fights. After all, The Nightwatcher would have never existed if it weren’t for himself. Donatello—his unspoken second in-command, the level-headed one. The amount of guilt and blame his younger brother faces is a burden that Don should never have to face, it was supposed to be Leo’s job. And Michelangelo, the heart of the team. Perhaps, if he hardened his youngest brother, none of this would be happening.

 

Leonardo thought back to their showdown with the Shredder, Karai’s inflicted stab wound, the base exploding—how in just an instant, his split second decisions, would have lead them all to death. Although he healed, physically and mentally, Leonardo wouldn’t dare speak of it. As much as it still haunts him.

_It is my responsibility. My brothers, my family—how could I let this completely fall apart? All these mistakes were elementary, lessons already learned._

“Leo!” Casey’s voice broke through his thoughts. Panting, Casey struggled to keep up with Leo. “April is driving the van closer to where the others are! She also called Leatherhead for backup, he’s on his way to us!”

 

“Good,” Leo halted in his tacks, sliding slightly from the water. Turning back to Casey, Leonardo said, “Casey, go back to Splinter and April and then give Leatherhead my location.”

 

“Hold on, you have to be joking or something if you think I’m going to let you go at this alone. Are you serious, Leo?!” Casey exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. “Don and Mikey are-!”

 

“I **_know_**!” Leo cried, fiercely. “But if Bishop knows you’re with me, then he’ll know the others are here. Or worse, that Raphael is somewhere else. Wait for him, I’ll get Don and Mikey out of here-.”

 

“By yourself? Really?” Casey antagonized, mockingly. Leo knew Casey was only frustrated, but it still hurt. “Come on, Leo! Hear yourself! Don’s hurt, and Mikey is under some freakin’ drugs and Raph is freakin’ who knows where-! You expect to take on Bishop, **_alone_**?”

 

“You said it yourself,” Leonardo snapped, defensively. “Leatherhead is on his way. What if Bishop sees the van and goes after Sensei and April? They are at risk, and you’re the only one who can protect them and get them out of there. If things go south, get them out of here. Find Raphael and go back to the lair—I’ll catch up.”

 

Casey sighed, shaking his head. “Fine. Geez, you’re worse than Raph sometimes.”

 

“Sometimes,” Leonardo smiled slightly. “Now, go!”

 

Leonardo dashed from building to building, watching as his brothers fight against Bishop. Mikey was leaning against a concrete wall, sliding against the wall to get back up again. Donnie was ruthlessly fighting; fresh cuts and bruises beginning to form. With a final kick, Donnie flew back and collapsed. “Don!”

 

_Bishop will pay for this. Once and for all._

/./././././././././././././././ 

_You know, I would say this is turtle-luck-true-to-form. But, considering how my week has been going—I think I’m cursed. Seriously._

Mikey felt like his head was expanding, his stomach was twisting and turning, he could barely even stand without feeling like he could fall right back down. He could make out his brother’s sillouette, watching him get beaten over and over by Bishop. _Donnie’s in trouble, come on! I have to get up._

_‘Don’t. You can’t. You’re weak. You always were.’_

It was his own voice, except it wasn’t him. It was him, but the voice was darker. _No! I have to get to Don-!_

“Bishop!” Leonardo appeared across the building, rushing towards Donnie he began attacking Bishop. Pushing Donnie out of the way, Leonardo clashed his sword with Bishop’s weapon. “Get away from them!”

 

Bishop’s blade sliced Leonardo’s leg before he could quickly retreat from the attack. Bishop smirked. “Soon, you and your little family will perish. The nerve toxins within my blade will continue your suffering. Let me end it swiftly for you.”

 

“Not a chance, Bishop.” Leonardo continued his strike, continuously attacking. He refuses to falter to Bishop. Leonardo could feel the affects kicking in, he knew he didn’t have much time.

 

Michelangelo worriedly glanced over at Donnie, who was still lying on the ground. Crawling over to Donnie, Mikey could feel himself slowly slipping.

 

“Ah, Leonardo. Tell me, where is your other brother—Raphael? It’s a shame, truly, he will not get a chance to say goodbye to your brothers. Don’t worry, I’ll deliver the message personally!” Bishop smirked as Leonardo leaped for another strike, and with a clear and fast slice—Leonardo’s pained scream echoed as he collapsed down.

 

“LEO! NO!” Picking his head up, his heart clenched as he saw blood—a lot of blood near Leo. Unable to see his brother’s injury, Mikey began to panic. He swallowed hard. This was it for him. After everything, it could be possible that the last thing he’ll ever see is his own brothers falling in front of him. He couldn’t fight back the tears as he watched as Leonardo slowed his pace, as Donnie struggled to pick his head back up. _All this because of me. Bishop may have got what he wanted with me, but I won’t let him hurt my family._ Leonardo’s katana. Crawling closer to the weapon, he picked up his brother’s sword, hiding it behind him.

 

“Pitiful, truly. The rat should have taught you better.” Bishop stepped over Leonardo, treading closer to Michelangelo. Tightly grabbing the turtle by his throat, he tightly squeezed as he lifted him up. “I have to say, your resilience has been quite challenging. The drug, the nerve toxin, and you’re still alive and breathing—perhaps I was wrong about you. No matter, once your under my control you won’t feel a thing.”

 

Gripping his fallen brother’s katana, Mikey suddenly swung the weapon impaling the weapon right at Bishop’s side. Mikey fought a smile in-between gasps of air, “Screw you, asshole.”

 

Bishop looked down at the blade, he chuckled as he reached for the weapon with his other hand—pulling out the weapon. “Impressive. Perhaps, I underestimated you. Nonetheless, your use will be valuable.”

 

Michelangelo frantically fought against his grip. Bishop reached in his pocket for the syringe. He watched as his eyes widened, desperately fighting even more. “Oh, don’t worry. This won’t hurt. Even if you overdose, your body will still be useful to me.”

 

“Stop! Please!” It was Donatello’s frantic cry that caught Bishop off guard. Bishop was impressed, to say the least. Even with the amount of physical damage against him, he was still conscious. Such a desperate cry, filled with agony. The way his iris changed color, how pale his skin looked— _Such a distinct physical reaction to pain, it’s simply stunning._ Donatello picked his head up off the ground. If it weren’t for his mask, his bloody face would have made him unrecognizable.

 

“Truly, such a pity.” Bishop sighed. “Your resistance was admirable. I should have left you in that savage state, you would have been proven useful to me. Now,” Shifting his attention back to Michelangelo, he raised his syringe.

 

“LET HIM GO!” This time, it was the leader’s voice. Loud, booming, and powerful. “TAKE ME. ISN’T THAT WHAT YOU WANTED?”

 

Another smile stretched across Bishop’s face. Even nearly amputated, the turtle had such a power to his voice. Violently trembling, Leonardo grew paler and paler. Using his only good hand to hold the other, Leonardo failingly fought to rise on his knees—stumbling back down to the ground each time.

 

Leonardo’s eyes locked with Michelangelo’s. Mikey’s eyes grew watery as he fought for air, mouthing to Leo, ‘I’m sorry’.

 

Smiling sinisterly, Bishop stabbed the needle deep into his subject’s skin. “Our deliverance is death, but not this one” (1). 

/./././././././././././././././././ 

“Nightwatcher, take this. You’ll know what to do.”

 

_I hope I can live with it._ Raphael nodded. Carefully taking the syringe, placing it securely in one of his suit’s sealed compartments.

 

Goldburg held a sinister grin as he handed Raphael a syringe. “Nightwatcher, here is the drug administration. Once Raphael receives the first dosage, report your progress so we can prepare for the second dosage.”

_The last thing I want is this douchebag following me. I can’t let that happen._

 

“I work for Karai, not you.” Raphael said, turning back to Karai. _Never thought I’d say that out loud._ “If you want me, you talk to her. Got it?”

 

Goldburg was taken back at Raphael’s bluntness. “I see. Well, I look forward to seeing your performance, hm?” Turning back to Karai, he began walking towards the door at the end of the room. “Mistress, if you like we can continue our discussion.”

 

“Of course,” Karai nodded at Raphael, “Nightwatcher, you are dismissed.”

 

Raphael didn’t miss a beat. Quickly seizing the opportunity he began dashing up the narrow flight of stairs and through the crowds toward the exit. Raphael took a deep breath of the cold, fresh air. The rain began downpour as he quickly rushed toward his bike. Waiting until he was further from the building, Raphael whispered. “Leo, Don, I’m out. I have the cure and the drug. What’s going on?”

 

Silence.

 

“Mikey, Casey, April, Sensei—damn it, is anyone getting this frequency? I’m out. What’s going on?”

 

Silence.

_Did the warehouse fuck up my frequency? Maybe that’s why I haven’t heard from them since I got in. But, then how did I get Don’s distress signal?_

 

Raphael waited until he was behind a large crate to take off his mask, adjusting the communication link. _Leo and Don aren’t picking up on the channel. I can’t contact the others directly beside Leo and Don. Let me try to get them individually._ Switching to Donnie’s line, he put his helmet back on. Loud clashing, and far away voices echoed in his ear piece. Unable to make out the voices, Raphael spoke, “Don? Donnie, it’s me. I’m out. Are you okay? What’s going on?”

 

“R-Raph?” Donnie whispered. Deep, hallow breaths. He could hear his brother breathing. Raphael didn’t know to either be relived or concerned. “L-Leo, help him.”

 

“I’m coming, Don. Hold on!” Raphael switched to Leonardo, “Leo! I’m out—what the hell is going on-?”

 

It Bishop’s voice echoing. “—tell me, Leonardo, where is Raphael? It’s a shame, truly, he will not get a chance to say goodbye to your brothers. Don’t worry, I’ll deliver the message personally!”

 

Leonardo’s blood curling scream echoed in Raphael’s head, hearing nothing but Leonardo crying out in pain.

 

“LEO! LEO! Hang on! I’m coming!” _No. No, this isn’t happening. I have to get there. NOW!_ Raphael quickly began removing parts of the heavier gear of his Nightwatcher armor, knowing he can’t get caught in his alias. Keeping the drugs on his belt, he began ripping the earpiece off his helmet. Raphael quickly hid his armor in one of the crates. Keeping his black under armor on, he hoped onto his bike and began speeding off into the darkness.

 

“Four minutes until your destination.” Rang the monotone GPS.

 

Raphael wondered if Leonardo could even hear him at all. All he could hear now was Leonardo breathing heavily. “Leo, I’m coming! Talk to me! What’s-?”

 

“LET HIM GO!” Leonardo’s raspy voice cried. “TAKE ME. ISN’T THAT WHAT YOU WANTED?”

 

“Three minutes until your destination.”

 

Raphael’s mind raced. He accelerated, racing against time itself. _Hang on, guys! I’m coming! Dam it I should have left sooner—I have to make it!_

 

“Two minutes until your destination.”

 

“Damn it!” Raphael felt his bike skid across the wet pavement; sharply turning he skidded across the road near an ally. Knowing the impact would definitely hurt him; he quickly jumped off before the bike hit the concrete. He was close now; he’d have to worry about his bike later. Rushing up the fire escapes he began racing towards the destination.

 

“Your destination is in 1000 feet.”

 

“Leo! Don! Mikey!” Raphael called as he jumped across from building to building. Taking his final leap, he shot up. Raphael froze. In front of him, Leonardo was lying in a pool of blood. His back was against Raphael, curled up. A few feet away from him, Donatello was lying still, face down in the ground.

 

“Leo!” Raphael rushed to Leo’s side first, carefully turning his brother over. Lying back on his shell, Raphael saw Leonardo’s wound. His right hand was half sliced off, the bone barely holding on. Holding Leonardo’s half-amputated hand onto his body, he felt his hands drench with his blood. He had to stop the bleeding. Raphael could feel the bile rise in his throat, he was going to be sick. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Ya gonna be okay, alright?”

 

Leonardo was shivering, his face growing paler and paler. His pale eyes stared up, as he slightly turned to Raph. “R-Raph, B-Bishop took him-.”

 

“I know.” Raphael said grimly, not wanting to think about where his little brother is. He didn’t even realize his hands were shaking as he tried to hold his brother’s hand. Shooting back a glance, Donnie still hasn’t moved. “Don!”

 

“Raphael!”

 

Raphael turned back at the new voice, protectively hovering over Leo. His eyes widened as the figure began rushing towards him, kneeling beside Leo. “Karai!? What are you-?!”

 

“Go get Donatello, now!” Karai quickly removed her jacket, ripping the sleeves off as she reached for Leonardo’s hand.

 

Raphael grabbed her wrist tightly, “I don’t know what the fuck you think you’re-!”

 

“Goldburg put a tracker on the syringes, he knows your location right now. If he finds you here, we’ll all be exposed.” Karai exclaimed, “If you lead Bishop here, he will surly finish what he started. We must leave. I will take care of Leonardo, you need to get Donatello and call for backup!”

 

Raphael helplessly let her go, watching as she began making a tourniquet. _Why is she helping us? Why even bother-?_ Carefully taking Leonardo’s earpiece he cried, “We need backup, **_now_**! Leo and Don are hurt bad!”

 

_“Raph!” It was Casey’s voice who echoed back. “Leatherhead found Bishop with Mikey not far from your location. We’re coming up now just-!”_

“No! Bishop is tracking me; we have to get out of here. I need help with Leo, he’s bleeding out bad!” Raphael jumped back to his feet, rushing over to Donatello. “Don? Don!”

“R-Raph,” Donnie’s face was bruised, badly. Donnie was already trying to sit back up, but his arm was twisted back. His voice cracked as he cried out, “T-The toxin. B-Bishops weapons had a toxin poison! L-Leo, h-he’ll die if we don’t- AH!”

 

“Don!” Raphael helped his brother back on his feet, noticing the deep cuts along his brother’s arms. _Shit! Toxin? Don and Leo- no, no, no!_

_“What about Mikey? Leatherhead can try to get him back-!”_

_Leatherheard is the closest thing to a medic that we have. Donnie, he’s hurt bad, and if this toxin’s inside them—he can’t help Leo, and I sure as hell can’t. But…But if Leatherhead comes back, we loose any chance of knowing where Mikey is._

“Casey, you need to tell Leatherhead to come back! Don and Leo got poisoned and they can’t wait that long-! We need help, **now**!”

_Mikey, please forgive me._

/././././././././././././././././././

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quotes by Franz Kafka


	16. Chapter 16 // "Adversary"

/././././././././././././././././././

Everything happened so fast, and then it stopped.

 

April held her breath, watching the others rush toward the van.

 

In a blur, there was chaos. Leatherhead, carefully cradling Leonardo as he continued to lose blood fast. Raphael, even still partially in his Nightwatcher armor, carrying Donnie on his back, his face looking grimmer by the second. Karai, much to April’s surprise, stood beside Leatherhead and holding Leo’s hand to prevent the bleeding from continuing. Casey rushed to the front of the van, quickly hollering at the others to pick up their pace as he began to start the car. Splinter, _Oh poor Splinter,_ hastily went to his children’s side. April felt her heart shatter as she watched her family crumble before her eyes. All their voices echoing…

 

“No!” Splinter broke, rushing to his eldest side. Not even Karai’s presence, or Michelangelo’s absence, shook Splinter from the crushing reality. Leonardo, barely conscious, shifted his gaze to his father. His body trembling as he tried to steady his breath. “W-What happened? Where is-?!”

 

Leatherhead, with Karai continuing to focus on Leo, carefully placed Leonardo on the floor of the van. “Master Splinter, forgive me, but Leonardo is loosing too much blood. I’m afraid; if I don’t help him soon it will be too late. Leonardo’s hand, I don’t know if I can save it, Master Splinter. It pierced most of the nerves and right through most the bone. With their mutation, I don’t know if and how long it can take to heal, if it could. Donatello said that Bishop’s weapons were laced with nerve toxins, it’s only causing Leonardo more pain.” Leatherhead persisted. “I only have so many supplies, I don’t have enough to determine what’s in their system. My home should have-!”

 

“L-Leatherhead!” Raphael cried, lying his younger brother on one of the couches. He knew Donnie must have lost consciousness somewhere along the way back. Desperately, Raph tried waking him up. “We can’t go back to the sewers! Bishop will know that’s where we’ll go! D-Don, he has to have something here-! He always has something, come on Donnie, wake up! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

 

“Guys!” Casey’s desperate cry from the front seat shook everyone’s attention. Shooting his head back he nervously cried, “Guys, I-I’m sorry we have to move! We can’t stay here! We’re too exposed, we have to move!”

 

“R-Raph,” Leo’s voice was shaky, and low. Shaking he cringed as his only good hand over his other. Struggling to sit up, April quickly fell to her knees as she supported Leo. “R-Raph, Mikey, h-he took him.”

 

“I know,” Raph said somberly, watching his father’s head drop down closer to Leo. Hiding his own grief of watching his family being torn. “I know, Leo. I’ll go back, ok? I’ll go get him-.”

 

“What?!” April cried, “You can’t be serious, Raph-!”

 

“We all have to go, **_now_**!” Casey exclaimed, “We can’t stay here-!”

 

“You are not leaving, Raphael.” It was Splinter’s voice who silenced the crowd. His voice, struggling to maintain composure as he faced his second-oldest. “You are needed here. We must help your brothers before we can help Michelangelo. Leatherhead, Donatello kept a medical supply under the seats—something must be usable in there. Raphael, help me keep pressure on Leonardo’s hand. April, try to waken Donatello. And for yourself,” His eyes shifted to Karai. His voice never shaking. “I do not know why you are here, or your intentions are with my sons, but…I am grateful for your assistance with Leonardo. Your assistance helped kept him alive, for which I am truly grateful for.”

 

Karai noticeably froze for a brief moment upon hearing Splinter’s statement. She didn’t hesitate long as she rose back to her feet, her voice quickly pacing. “Your gratitude comes too soon. Bishop and Goldburg will be following myself, and Raphael, now that we agreed to work for him. If you leave the city, it will be a death sentence not only for yourselves but also for your brother. Do you not see? You must remain within the area, unless you want to risk your family’s exposure, and Michelangelo’s life. You’re bound here, Raphael.”

 

“Fuck!” Raphael didn’t have a care who was in the room, not even Splinter who gave him a quick disapproving look. He should have known this would happen. How could he willingly sign a deal with the devil knowing—knowing—it was going to bite him right back. _Except this time it isn’t just me who’s paying the price._ His eyes frantically shifted to Donatello, who lost consciousness not too long after he initially reached his brother’s side. It was probably the poison that struck his fever so high, his body slightly convulsing every now and then as April fought to keep him still. It made him sick. His hands, still wet from Leonardo’s blood, he gazed back down. Leonardo, who unimaginably was still conscious, wouldn’t keep his eyes off of Splinter. Was it because he couldn’t let Raph see him so broken? Or, because Splinter is the only solace he has to give him peace—the permission to let go. _No. Fuck that. Fearless isn’t going anywhere. He can fight this. I won’t let him._

“Raphael!” Karai raised her voice, desperate for Raphael’s attention. “Unless you want the rest of your family to die, we must act now. Although we are few left, I have a medical team, supplies—I will offer you-.”

 

“You can’t be fuckin’ serious?” Raphael chuckled darkly. He couldn’t look at Splinter; it wasn’t because of his language this time—but the possibility of his father thinking the very same thing. “You expect me to trust ** _you_** with my family’s life by walking right into Foot headquarters-?!”

 

“Donnie’s fever is breaking!” April cried, panicked. “If his fever gets any higher he’ll—Raph, his body can’t fight this much longer. I-I can try to get the poison out but he needs real medicine, fast!”

 

“Leonardo as well, my son!” Splinter’s voice was like a ghost, desperately still trying to wrap his wound. “I’m afraid, for the sake of your brothers’ lives, we have no choice but to accept.”

 

Raphael rose from his brother’s side, carefully approaching Karai. She didn’t flitch as he inched closer to her. Blinded by his own rage; no, he was petrified of his own fear. They were cornered like mice, and she knew it. He didn’t care about how she helped him so far, or even why she came back. No, she knew they were cornered. He hated feeling so helpless. Retrieving his sai, he held it to her throat. Dangerously, he whispered, “I don’t know what the fuck kind of sick, twisted game you’re playing. But if this is in any way a trap, and you hurt my family in any way? I’ll do worse than kill you. Got it?”

 

“Understood.” Karai smoothly responded. Reaching to her ear piece, she ordered, “Men, I’m returning with the turtles. Cease all attacks. Prepare the medical stations, they are critical. We may be followed by Bishop, scope the area and be sure they are not nearby. I was a report in fifteen minutes. Mr. Jones, I will direct you.”

 

Raphael watched as the heir to the Shredder lead them out. Is this was desperate looked like? The enemy of my enemy is my ally? Raphael didn’t care for any of that. Leonardo, on the other hand, saw something in her that was somehow trustworthy.

 

_Come on, Fearless. You’re always right. I can’t handle another mistake._  

/././././././././././././././ 

_How long has it been? An hour? Days? Weeks? Months?_

_All I knew now was that I was awake, right in hell, probably._

_I woke up. By the thumping vibrations in my head, I knew I was alive._

_That, and the beeping noise that kept going off beside me. That explains the IV in my wrist at least. But my eyes had a hard time adjusting._

_The walls were white, the light above me was white. The sheets were— yeah you guessed it! I’ve seen enough horror movies to know what these straps around me were. They used them on those insane patients that always get possessed by the demons—what are they called?_

_Anyway, I ran a checklist in my head, like Donnie used to do when we got hurt._

_Wait, Donnie! Yes! I totally remember!_

_Master Splinter, Leo, Raph, Donnie, April, Casey, Leatherhead, Klunk, my leftover pizza from last Saturday--!_

_Wait. Donnie. He was hurt—Leo! He got **really** hurt—I need to go!_

_Looks like I’m all clear. But, like Don said, I don’t have much time do I?_

_He said that I’ll be gone for good this time. Why am I still okay? Was he bluffing? Or, is this some sick cruel joke to make me think that I was actually free?_

_All I know is that I don’t have much time._

_And I knew that this room is going to be the first and last place I’ll ever truly see._

_I’ll never see my real room again. I really wish I finished my comic series; I only had two left until I found out what happened to Captain Herios. Klunk, buddy, I hope you look after my family—right? You know where your favorite treats are, and where Raph keeps his secrete magazine pack you can totally go after those._

_I’ll never see the dojo again. No matter how many times I complained, and whined, and complained, and zoned out—It’s there where I became who I am, or who I **was**. Sensei, I’m sorry I goofed off so much. I didn’t mean it out of disrespect or anything like that. But, you always knew that. Right? You never doubted me, ever. None of you did. And I’m sorry you won’t hear me say that._

_I closed my eyes._

_I didn’t care what happened to me anymore. If there’s anything good in this world, please, just let the others be alright._

_The door opened. It actually hurt my eyes to adjust to the figure walking in front of me that wasn’t in white, instead it was dressed in black from head to toe._

_I flinched as it moved closer to me, not like I was going anywhere anyway. It leaned in close, as it fidgeted with my IV’s putting something in it. No, I don’t want to sleep again. My voice cracked, it didn’t sound like me._ “No, wait, dude. Don’t.” _It hurt like hell to talk. I guess it’s been a while, huh? Why couldn’t it just give me water or something instead of that weird-whatever-the-heck-it-is?_

_I figured out why._

_It’s head finally turned to me, and I recognized it’s eyes. It’s a face I wouldn’t forget. It reached for me, I was reminded that I was stuck. It’s voice was quiet, almost eerily gentle._ “Quiet. It will help you see your family soon.”

 

_Soon? No. They’re dead. No. They can’t be. Leo, Don, Raph, Sensei—did they all die because of me? God, how long has it been since—no they can’t be gone._

_It lifted my head. It didn’t take long for me to realize what it was doing. Whatever it gave me, it made me sleepy again, so I couldn’t really move. I watched as it retreated back, holding my bandana in it’s hand._

_It turned to leave. I tried to grab it’s hand, remembering it was strapped down to the bed. I was running out of time. It hurt like hell as my voice cracked like I was going through puberty all over again._ “Wait. Please. Tell me. My family.”

 

_It had it’s back turned to me as it rushed toward the front of the room, it’s voice still quiet as it looked back at me one more time._

 

“Soon.”

 

_That was the last time I remember seeing it._

_All I saw now was darkness, and for the first time. I let it in._

/././././././././././././././ 

“My son, would you like to try again?”

 

It’s been nearly three weeks since the attack.

 

Although many of those days he was out of it, he was well aware of what had happened. Any moment he was awake, it wasn’t about his own pain—but his family. Asking where Raphael was, if Donatello ever woke up, if anyone had news about Michelangelo. Every time, Splinter squeezed his forearm and offered words of hope.

_I was out of it for a few more days. The second time I remember waking up, Donnie was there that time. A sling over his arm, his face—god, the bruising was awful. I think he saw my horrified expression._

_But, he smiled. Tried to crack a joke. “Well, good morning to you too, Leo. What? Not happy to see me?”_

_He was trying so hard to help me forget, even for a second. To forget about telling me that my hand was completely gone for good. To forget that I lost, to Bishop, that I failed merely costing both our lives. To forget that I haven’t seen Raph since that night on the rooftop. To forget that I watched as Mikey was taken away facing God knows what._

_I wanted him to believe that I did._

 

If that wasn’t the worst of it, it didn’t end there. The nights he woke in a cold sweat, desperately reaching for what was already gone. Realizing the horror of what happened to him, stripping him of everything he worked so hard to protect. And just like that, it was gone. Using his only good hand left, he traced over his scars of the memory of what used to be. It wasn’t until a week ago that his new prosthetic replaced that emptiness. _Of course Donnie helped, so did Leatherhead. They made it possible. But mostly it was the Foot’s technology that made it happen. And I didn’t know what makes me sicker—knowing my little brother had to help make a prosthetic for me because of my failure, or that it was my enemy’s technology that made me do it._

 

After Donatello’s recovery, Splinter never left Leonardo’s side. The nightmares still continued, but Splinter was reassuring. He couldn’t say the same for his brothers.

 

Raphael was gone most of the time.

 

Donatello, as soon as he was able to get back on his feet, went straight to work in the labs to help Leonardo.

 

_It was like we were all forgetting._

_But I didn’t._

 

Leonardo repeated himself for what felt like the tenth time that week. His voice hallow, using his other hand to put the weapon back down. “No.”

 

“You have not tried your other hand yet, Leonardo.”

 

_Oh, he meant the fake._ Leonardo eyed down at his right ‘hand’. Although it looked eerily similar to his original, the black metal band wrapped around his wrist reminded him otherwise.

 

_‘Think of it like a bracelet’, Donnie said._

_Mikey would say, ‘It’s super stylish, bro! Now you’re caught up with the tend!’_

_But he wasn’t here._

“You know,” Splinter encouraged, bending down to pick up the sword. “They said it should be fit to train now, my son. Donatello said it is not as rigid as you may think. Perhaps, Leonardo, you should try with it.”

 

Leonardo hesitated as reached for the sword with his new hand. Carefully gripping the blade, he carefully examined it. Splinter offered a warm smile, “It appears you have a good grasp. You should try your katana’s with it. You can do it, my son. It is alright.”

 

“This is humiliating.” Leo muttered under his breath, turning his head in disgust. “Look at me, Sensei. I was careless, distracted, I lost my—I lost. I failed my brothers, I failed you-!”

 

“Leonardo,” Splinter assertively reached for his good hand. “you must not look at yourself, or what had happened in such shame. You were given an opportunity many do not, you can do this. With practice, you we will be ready to move forward.”

 

_Master Splinter says it so easily, like it’s just working off a broken arm or something. But, he was right. The faster I get used to this, the quicker I can get back into action. Which reminded me…_

Leonardo carefully swung the blade. “Where is Raphael?”

 

“He is currently out, investigating with Karai.”

 

_Right. Karai._ Leonardo felt his stomach twist; it has been days since he talked to her. Considering the amount of times he was awake, he wasn’t surprised. But he knew he had to talk to her, especially considering they are currently living inside the Foot headquarters.

 

“And Don?”

 

“Donatello is currently with Leatherhead, hoping to learn more from what the Foot had gathered about Bishop’s technology. It appears the ninja are quite respectable, especially towards Karai.”

“I have to talk to her.”

 

“Yes, I believe it is time we receive some answers.”

 

“Sensei?” Leonardo’s voice cracked as he halted his movements. “Do…Do you feel him? Mikey? Is his spirit…Is he…?”

 

There was no hesitation. Splinter offered a warm smile, “I do. Although it is weak, I do believe his presence is real and not entirely spiritual. I have been trying to contact him, but with little success. That does not mean I will rest until I do.”

/././././././././././././././././././

30, 240 minutes since everything fell out of place.

 

Numbers kept Donatello’s mind straight. It reminded him of the urgency to stay focused on task, remembering it was his younger brother’s life on the line if he didn’t. With Leatherhead residing with them, Donnie felt both safer and able to complete his analysis quicker.

 

_I knew I was in deep. The last thing I remember from that night was talking to Raph, and then nothing. I think I remember the van, April was standing over me trying to talk to me. Then, I woke up in some kind of infirmary, throwing my guts up was probably the only distinct memory I have. I knew my eye was bruised pretty bad, only one cracked rib, my arm was dislocated; I guess I was lucky enough to be out of it when they popped it back in. The bruising was pretty bad though, I remember the first time I saw my reflection. Everyone said it was way worse. That didn’t help. Then, finally, I was conscious enough for Splinter and Raphael to update me on what happened._

_I froze. We were residing right in the Foot headquarters. Mikey wasn’t with us, we weren’t home. Leo was critical for the past few days while I was out, and now he lost his hand. Raphael was still in his Nightwatcher gear, and all I could think was—how the shell could he abandon us like this?_

_As it all slowly began to make sense, I forced myself to get better. I had to get up. I had to be part of the, whatever kind of team, was helping Leo. Leatherhead, luckily, was already one step ahead of me. A prosthetic. I never told the others, but I prepared for something like this. Years ago, I did some research about it. Always got to be prepared, right?_

_So, that’s what I did. Worked, pretty much all day into the evening. Usually, it was Raph who’d make me go to bed after he got back himself. He caught me up on what happened, I told him about some progress I made, we talked about Leo—and that was it. We didn’t dare to talk about Mikey. If we talked about Mikey, that would mean I’d have to think about what has been happening. I hated ignoring it. I think Raph did too, but it hurt to much to vocalize about it. So, we each both drowned in other stuff—hoping it’ll all lead us to Mikey._

_Once Leo was out of surgery, we chatted a bit more. To be honest, I was so worried about losing Leo. He was going back to his darker self, which I can’t blame him. I would too. Which is why I helped Splinter train him for a bit. Since I couldn’t really practice much, I was more of a moral support. Leo’s still adjusting. But, in my mind, I was screaming. We have to get Mikey back. We all have to be on top of our game._

_How did I let this happen?_

_Did this all really spiral out of control so bad, that I lost control?_

_I had to keep focusing. I have to believe that Karai would give us answers, that Raph might find something useful, or Leo will be back to his normal self._

_Mikey, you know we haven’t forgotten you, right?_

_We’re coming. Just hang on._

/././././././././././././././././

21 days since finding sanctuary right in the hornet’s nest.

 

No matter how much Raphael hated being here, he knew what the goal was. Get in, heal up, get Mikey, go home. That’s it. He had no idea it’d take this long, and how much he’d be spending it without his family.

 

Once his brothers’ were out of the woods, he knew he had to leave. Raphael, although relieved once Donnie and Leo were awake again, grew weary thinking about his youngest brother. Much to his surprise, only Karai was the only one allowed access to the warehouse. Karai reported that Michelangelo was there—or at least was—but that she only saw him through passing or on paperwork. That wasn’t enough. Goldburg’s communication with Karai was brief; merely the exchange of resources, asking the Nightwatcher to oversee exchanges, and hunting for the rest of the turtles.

 

At first, Raphael did in fact search the sewers. Wandering around below the surface for a bit helped clear his head, or at least that’s what he told himself. Casey offered support, but considering their location, he and April took a step back. Much to their defense, Splinter argued that for now they’d be safe at home. Alone, Raphael patrolled the sewers. It was through his investigation that he let his mind wander to his family.

 

Leonardo was officially now wearing a prosthetic hand. For a while, Leo was in pretty bad shape. He didn’t know, but Raphael sat by his side for the first few days until Karai called him back to ‘work’. Ever since his brother’s surgery, Leo reverted back to his quiet self. _I can’t say I blame him. I wouldn’t know what I’d do if it happened to me. But we need him—I need him, too. Once he’s back to himself, we can finally talk about a game plan to get Mikey. I’m so sick of being the Princess’s lackey._

 

Donnie’s bruising looked to be getting better, or at least not as bad as it was in the beginning. Compared to Leo, Raphael would argue that Donnie was just as bad. Not because of the bruising and beating, but the poison. If they were any later…Raphael refused to think about that. It only took him about a week to fully recovery, and being his typical self wanted to do **_anything_** else but sit in an infirmary bed thinking about Mikey. _I didn’t blame him. Getting out cleared my mind of it. I was gone so much, it was almost like the way it was a few years back when I was actively the Nightwatcher. We didn’t want to talk about Leo being gone, so we all did our own thing. Now, with Mikey gone, it’s like it’s happening all over again. Besides a few short exchanges, Don hasn’t said much about Mikey besides studying the paperwork Karai hands over—which, frankly, don’t sit right with me either._

_Karai and I have been working together, as weird as it’s been. But it’s more like exchanges really—she tells me where to go, what to do, what to look for. I come back, she asks what happens, I spill. I ask her what happened, she said little. Rinse. Repeat._

_Such bullshit, if you ask me._

_Karai has yet to even begin to spill about what the hell goes on at that freakin’ warehouse. We know Mikey’s there, but she won’t say what. Nor, for that matter, say why the hell she freakin’ **cares**. Every time I bring it up she shuts me down, and I want to make her talk and well—Splinter recommended we wait until Leo was ready enough to confront her._

_If anyone can make her talk, it’s him. And it better be soon, cause’ I’m sick of waiting._

_Now with all of us sitting in the same room, I almost wish I wasn’t here. Almost._

Raphael sat beside Leo, while Don sat on his other. Splinter was next to Leo, carefully watching Karai’s movement. Karai sat at the head of her table, her voice stern. “Goldburg will not be distracted long, Raphael. He is growing suspicious as to what is taking the Nightwatcher so long to find you.”

 

“I’ve been checking the sewers, remember? Just tell him they’re hiding,” Raph shrugged, simply. “You think he knows it’s me?”

 

“I do not know,” Karai admitted, “frankly even if he knows he cannot act upon it with me as an ‘ally’ for now. It appears that the ‘cure’ and the drug we received a few weeks back should be able to be administered.”

 

“There’s a catch, right? Always a catch.”

 

“It must be by certain dosages,” Donnie flipped through the paperwork, as he continued. “If we over stimulate his system, it could have adverse affects. But, we have no idea what he’s been…going through. And, honestly, if they kept up the drug I don’t even know if we can…There’s a lot of uncertainty, here. Without knowing, I can’t say that I-.”

 

“I think what Don’s trying to say,” Raphael cut him off, shooting back at Karai. “is that we need to know what, and where, Mikey is. I think ya know. Why you don’t tell us, is pretty freakin’ weird. And on that matter, where the hell **_is_** Bishop?”

“I have not seen Bishop in quite some time, which concerns me even greater.”

 

“Karai,” Raphael was caught off guard by the sudden authority in his brother’s voice. It was so long since he spoke, let alone seemed back to normal. Mikey’s absence, it’s real now. “I appreciate your cooperation these past weeks, and your assistance with myself and my brothers in a desperate time. I’m afraid, though, I am not sure where your intentions were—and what they continue to be. I still have a brother missing, and little to no information about that. How am I to believe that he isn’t dead? We need the truth, Karai. I know you know it. What are you holding back from us?”

 

The room was silence for a moment. Karai sat up in her seat, as she reached in her pocket, sliding it across the table. Michelangelo’s mask. Leonardo breathlessly grabbed it, his eyes wide. “No, how did you-?”

 

“He is alive, that I can reassure you. I saw him myself. Somehow, most likely because of your genetic mutation—he is still resilient to it’s affects. Although he was disoriented, he was able to recall you all—not explicitly, but he was able to ask for his ‘family’. I was not able to get access to his documentation, but it made me curious. It appears they are possibly administering the cure themselves. When I checked his IV, they are giving him some kind of antibiotic. It appears they are curing him.”

 

“They’re making him…better?” Donnie nervously questioned. “But, why? Why go through all this, and then just cure him, for nothing-?”

 

“Bishop’s absence, Goldburg’s impatience with getting a ‘newer’ and more ‘clean’ specimen, the amount of exchanges between my clan and his lab, my partner Akio’s absence—I fear, there is something much more greater at stake than we initially thought.”

 

“What are you suggesting?” Leonardo carefully asked, watching as Karai’s posture tensed.

 

Karai, for a moment, looked helpless. As she carefully spoke, “I believe, it is possible, that Bishop has other intentions. His drug ‘failing’, I believe has given him a new purpose—a way to use it differently. From what I have gathered, I’m afraid…he is seeking more than just control. He is ‘curing’ your brother to do something far worse. To start from scratch…”

 

“What the hell does that mean?” Raphael exclaimed, completely frustrated by her hesitance to finish. “Start from scratch-?!”

 

"Wait..." Leonardo's face paled as he slowly began connected the dots. "Don, before Bishop injected Mikey, he said..."

 

Donnie breathlessly finished, "Our deliverance is death, but not this one." (1)

 

“He wants to revive the dead. And I have a feeling, I know exactly who is thinking of.”

 

/./././././././././././././././././

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quotes by Franz Kafka


	17. Chapter 17 // "Divide & Conquer"

/./././././././././././././././././ 

“He wants to revive the dead. And I have a feeling, I know exactly who he is thinking of.”

 

“You can’t be serious!” Donnie was the first to exclaim, slamming the medical file on the table. Shaking his head, his thoughts were scatters as he desperately tried to piece together. “It’s not possible, there’s no way. No, if he wanted this—this shouldn’t—!”

 

“How did you conclude this, Karai?” Splinter was short, his gaze locking on hers. Examine every slight move she was making, almost as if he was waiting for her next ‘strike’.

 

“Akio was the first subject, this I know for a fact. They knew I wanted the cure so that I could help him. It was strange, that once I had it, Akio disappeared. They said he was ‘investigating’ on his own. Yet, no one knows his location. Hun and the Dragons returned to their daily activities. Similarly, Bishop has not been seen since the night he took Michelangelo. Although Michelangelo is still being withheld at the warehouse, Bishop is not present. Goldburg was distracted; I was temporarily allowed access to get into his room. I found antibiotics, and administered it-.”

 

“What?!” Donnie cried, defensively, “That could ** _kill_** him! What were you-?!”

 

“Do not mistaken me for a fool, Donatello.” Karai, venomously, spat back. “I was sure to read his updated medical file before hand. I took a great risk in my decision; I do not take it lightly. Michelangelo was already being administered it and he was responding well. Besides, I had to see myself. I had only a moment. I am unaware of what else is happening, or what they are doing, but was disoriented but better in shape.

 

“You said, ‘temporality’. Why all of a sudden did they care what you thought about him?” Leonardo questioned. “Giving you access now and not weeks ago? After all, if you already think he’s suspicious—why bother? Besides, I thought they gave you access to all of Michelangelo’s files. What’s stopping them?”

 

“He says they are ‘delayed’, and clearly, I was able to see him briefly. I am unsure of Bishop’s motives. What I do know is that they are hiding. And, he is growing impatient in looking for you all. We are running out of time, and I’m afraid if we do not cooperate it will not end well for either of us. ”

 

Donatello’s voice cracked, as he slowly asked. “Do they think we’re dead? Does Mikey think…”

 

“Most likely.” Karai sighed, leaning back in her seat. “But without your bodies, I’m sure they believe otherwise. They were suspicious of Raphael’s absence from that evening. I believe, we no longer have the upper hand in this game. Even if I could access Michelangelo’s files, I cannot leave with them. And, to be fair, your lack of trust in me surely adds to it as well. They are cornering us, and Bishop knows it.”

 

Raphael shook his head. He was sick of dancing around the subject. Just because she helped Leo and Don didn’t scratch her off his list. He was sick of waiting. Sick of thinking what his youngest brother could be going through, and what they’re planning for him. _I don’t care, this has got to end. Now._ “So if I walk right in. Then this will all be fixed, right? I’ll let them get me, Karai’s already on the inside, she can get me out and I can get Mikey-.”

 

“That’s not happening.” Leonardo immediately interjected. “If what Karai is saying is true, then they are already preparing to turn against us and Karai. From now on, Raphael, you are not investigating on your own-.”

 

“Oh yeah that’ll look good on my weekly performance reviews,” Raphael rolled his eyes, frustrated with his brother’s order. “The Nightwatcher just suddenly stops cooperating the same time they are pressuring for us to be found? If I stop showing up won’t that just make them even more suspicious?”

 

“Let them hold out a little longer, Raph. Say you got a lead that they’re near the farmhouse. Leatherhead I’m sure can fake a frequency out there, that’ll give you a few extra days and a reason to ‘leave’ the city. Once Don and I are back in shape, we can return home and plan to infiltrate the warehouse. Every second we waste here, we risk them moving Mikey or worse.” Leonardo paused. If he and his family leave, what happens to their ‘alliance’ with Karai? Her true intention is still a mystery to him, but is that enough to risk losing an ally for? _She could have turned her back against us at any point. She could have let them take Raphael, but she didn’t. She let us live. Why? Is she waiting for us to be completely vulnerable? Or is she truly attempting to make this work?_

 

“I see. Your mind seems to be made then,” Karai echoed, rising from her seat. “You are welcome to remain here for as long as you need. I understand if you need to discuss whether or not you all wish to continue to cooperate with me. Do understand that if you choose not to, I will not seek to harm you. But, I will also not jeopardize my clan to give you any more information that could be of value to you. I will leave you.”

 

Karai swiftly began leaving the room, it wasn’t until the door shut behind her that the silence lingered. Leonardo kept staring forward where Karai stood, lost in his own thoughts. Splinter closed his eyes, bowing his head. Donnie fidgeted, looking from Splinter to Leo. Raphael still had his arms crossed, impatiently waiting to her their thoughts.

 

“Well,” Donnie was the first to speak, gaining everyone’s attention. “I think…For Mikey’s sake, we should keep cooperating with them. Her technology, their numbers—if we are going to attack in full force, and considering our conditions, we could use the help. Like Leo said, we’ll figure out what to do after-.”

 

Raphael shook his head, “It still doesn’t feel right. It sounds like ya wanna sign a peace treaty with them, Don. Did ya forget this is the Foot?”

 

“Did **_you_** forget they’re the ones who saved our lives-?” Donnie bitterly countered. “I don’t like the idea as much as you, but what other choice did we have? If Karai was as twisted as the Shredder was, she would have let us die that night—she didn’t.”

 

“No, if she was as twisted she’d let us think we were all buddy-buddy then turn us right over to Bishop when it’s ‘convenient’ to her!” Raphael exclaimed, reaching across the table to Michelangelo’s mask, gripping it tightly. “Mikey would never, **_ever_** , take this off willingly. How do we even know if she’s not the one conducting whatever the hell they’re doing?! She knew this was happening for weeks! She’s the one who reached out to Fearless, knowing he’d cave in and-!”

 

“And if she didn’t, we’d have nothing.” Leonardo cut him off, snapping his head to him. His voice, unmoving. “We can’t think about what could have been. She’s kept her word since the Shredder’s death; she has yet to attack us directly. I believe she truly intends to keep peace with us, or at least not interfere with us. Don’s right, at least until Mikey is back with us I can’t risk us doing this totally alone.”

 

“Are ya serious-?!”

 

“My sons,” Splinter’s voice was low, slowly rising his head back up. “You all bring valid observations. Raphael, you are correct in who she is and her actions against our family. If we were to consider an ally, we will continue to be cautious. Donatello and Leonardo are also correct; our family’s safety is first. We cannot, in our condition, attack head-on without assistance. Leonardo, Karai appears to confine in you, personally. Perhaps, you can discover where her true intentions lie. Donatello, I believe she is also keeping something from us as well. Without putting yourself at risk, perhaps you can discover something we may not know. Raphael, be sure Mr. Jones and Ms. O’Neil are still safe and assist your brother. It is important we cooperate for now, and keep our guard up.”

/././././././././././././././././ 

_It all seemed so harmless. But, that’s usually how these things start. Just a simple game, something to laugh at down the road. And we did, to be fair. Growing up, Mikey was always the “easiest” target, and I don’t think that lightly. As kids, Mikey would get on Raph’s nerves the most. He’d try to help Don, but only frustrate him when it wasn’t going as planned. And for me—I guess, I told him I had better things to do like train._

_Raph wanted to do his own thing._

_Donnie wanted to learn and discover._

_I wanted to train to be just as good as Splinter._

_Mikey, he just wanted to be with us._

_We were young, about seven, but still old enough to know right and wrong. It was a few weeks after April Fool’s Day; clearly Mikey’s favorite holiday. I’d say, that year, Mikey began to really challenge himself with his creativity. It was impressive._

_For Don, he managed to sneak into his lab and was able to tinker with his work chair so that it would break when Donnie sat. And of course, when Donnie would try to get up and fix it…Mikey bugged is toolbox and covered it with—well, syrup. Pretty harmless, but Donnie can get pretty ticked off. It probably didn’t help that outside his door, waiting for him, was a perfectly waxed floor—which Donnie fell right for, literally. He was convinced he got a nasty bruise from falling back so hard, but we was too busy laughing then._

_Well, Raph wasn’t for long._

_Raph was too easy, Mikey bragged. Except, now with some experience, Mikey knew Raph would be on his guard. That’s when he waited until Raph was sparing with me to sneak into his room and managed to fill his bed, drawers, and pillowcases with fake spiders. Classic, except Mikey was getting better with it. If that wasn’t enough for Raph, one of spiders (of course the biggest one) was remote controlled. I don’t even know, to this day, how and where Mikey managed to find it and freak Raph out so much to the point he had to run to me— **me** —to “kill” it. He chased Mikey the whole night until Splinter grounded Mikey and helped reassure Raph there were no more spiders. He found one a couple of weeks later, of course. Needless to say how that argument played out, blaming each other. _

_And then it was my turn to face the wrath of Michelangelo._

_I have to admit; maybe I did let my guard down at bit. This was Mikey’s day. Usually, I’d know when it was coming. But, it made him so happy, I could bear the few moments of humiliation. He got me good that year, pretty good actually. I was training with Sensei. I figured there’d be something lurking for me in my room, or the living room, or anywhere really. I was meditating, really learning how to center myself. It was quiet, super quiet. Then, all of a sudden, I felt ice-cold water soak me from head to toe. I was so freaked out I jumped to my feet and stumbled back. Besides the shock from the water, I couldn’t help but see the culprits! Master Splinter was actually in on it! He and Mikey were both laughing. I felt like an idiot, and betrayed a bit. But, you know, I haven’t seen Sensei laugh that hard in a while._

_Everything seemed so harmless then. Training wasn’t as rigors yet, we were still young enough to not be fully aware of the world. I wasn’t leader, yet. Raph and I hung out all the time, like best friends. Donnie, at the peak of his learning, was so excited to show us what he learned to do—except for that toaster. Mikey, he was happy every freakin’ day._

_But you weren’t, right? There’s no way someone could be that happy all the time. Smiling every day, just wanting to be with the family you love._

_It all seemed so harmless, then._

_When did Raph and I stop being best friends? When did learning for Donnie turn from fun to a necessarily, the line between life and death. When did showing your happiness, and love, turn into the very weapon that strikes back?_

_It all seemed so harmless._

_Until it gets you killed._

_Or worse._

/././././././././././././././././ 

Raphael couldn’t sit anymore. He should be out there, doing whatever it takes to get his brother back. To find Bishop and put an end to this. Wandering around the building, he figured he might as well check in. Pulling out his phone, he quickly dialed.

 

_“Raph! Man, it’s good to hear ya!”_

“Hey, Case.” Raph smirked, it was good to hear his friend’s voice. It’s been weeks since they’ve seen Casey or April. Splinter thought it was for the best if Casey and April went home, away from the Foot—just in case. Of course, they kept in contact whenever possible. But it still didn’t make things any easier. _Just a reminder how far away from home we all are._ “How’s April? Ya two keepin’ out of trouble?”

 

_“April’s been workin’, trying to find out more info about the Gold-dick guy whatever-the hell-his-name-was. It hasn’t been easy tryin’ not to patrol or anythin’. Hasn’t been the same without you guys. How’s the others?”_

“Well,” Raph wondered how in depth he should be going. Don did warn that there was the possibility that their cells could be tapped like it was the other night. _Better keep it casual._ “Sensei’s real quiet. Been trying to meditate a lot, hoping to reach Mikey like that. Don’t know if it’s actually workin’ though. Leo’s getting the hang of his hand, I think, but he still hates it. He’s been worse, but havin’ a hard time. So is Don; ya know him, rather drown in work than talk.”

 

_“How about you, man? You okay?”_

“I’ll be better when Mikey’s home.” Raphael shifted uncomfortably. It’s bad enough not knowing what his brother’s going through, but that they are planning on doing something worse? _Why can’t we just go get him now? I mean, why wait?_

_“Yeah. I feel ya. Look, Raph, he’s tough, you know? They ain’t gonna break him. The minute you guys need help, you better let us know—ya hear?”_

_I wish I could believe you, Case. It’s not looking good. It really isn’t._

_“Ugh. The minute this shit is over, we’re going to kick some Dragons and drink some good stuff. Maybe Mikey’s tolerance got better.”_

“Don’t even get me started, Case. Leo’s still reprimanding me for bringing him home completely wasted—kept tellin’ him to take it easy.” Raphael chuckled at the memory. Splinter was away to see the Ancient One, so it was only Leo in charge. Perfect timing to get away with it, of course. It was a couple of months ago that he let Mikey come with him to hang out with Casey. Needless to say, trying to ‘catch up’ with them ended coming back up all over the dumpster and the rest of the way back to the lair. _Man, I can still remember Leo’s face when I brought him home. Wish I had a picture. Don wouldn’t stop laughing._

_Man, things were really that easy then._

_“Well, I look forward to finding out. You’ll call the sec you need anything, right?”_

“Of course, Case. Tell April we said hi, alright? I gotta check on Don, anyway.”

 

_“You got it. Stay safe, alright?”_

_Can’t make any promises._  

/././././././././././././././././ 

Donatello sat anxiously at his desk. Besides the medical wing, Donnie found a strange comfort being within the walls of the labs. Not only was the technology impressive, it gave him a challenge— _I mean, they’re still using Stockman’s work. Practically has ‘flawed’ written all over it._

“Ya keep fidgeting like that then I’ll really make ya sit still.” Raphael grumbled. He was dressed in his under armor from his Nightwatcher suit, even though he knew he wasn’t allowed to leave. He shook his head, trying not to get worked up over their situation. _What the hell good can I do here? Helping Don? I can’t do computer crap._ Looking over at Don, he was still shaking his leg and staring at some of the files Karai was able to retrieve. Raphael couldn’t remember the last time he saw Don actually rest ever since he gained consciousness. _Maybe this is what Sensei meant by ‘helping’ him._

“So,” Raphael tried to perk up, retrieving his sai. “Ya feel like sparing?”

 

“No.” Short and quick, his eyes never shifted from the file.

 

_Well. This is going well._

“Alright,” Raphael attempted again, grabbing a nearby chair and settled it beside his younger brother. “how about ya give me something to do then?”

 

“I can handle this on my own, thanks.”

 

_Just combine Leo’s stubbornness, with a dash of Mikey’s annoyance, and you get a persistent Don who won’t listen to ya. Let’s try a change of pace…_

Leaning back, Raph groaned. “Well, since ya don’t have the sling anymore I’m assuming ya taking your meds?”

 

“Can’t, remember? Genetic mutation.”

 

“Oh, right.” Raphael bashfully grumbled, feeling like an idiot for nearly forgetting. While Leatherhead and some of the medical team believed it would be harmless, Donnie was apprehensive—refusing to take any kind of drugs. No matter how reassuring Leatherhead was, Donnie did not budge. He insisted all the medical attention should be on Leo, and focusing on his recovery. _Typical Donnie. Always thinkin’ a step ahead for someone else other than himself._

“I’m fine, Raph. Honest. If I wasn’t I know better than to hide it.” Donnie offered a small smile to reassure. “Leatherhead left his laptop for me to use, just in case I needed to look up anything without the Foot knowing. I just really want to see if I can hack into the warehouse’s data files and see if I can get an update on Mikey’s medical record. That is, if they are uploading it somewhere. I can’t imagine it’s just hand written and filed, but anything is possible.”

 

“Wait, isn’t that the opposite of what we should be doin’? Won’t they figure out it’s coming from Foot, and we’ll get caught?”

 

“Of course,” Donnie shrugged. “Technically, the Foot is allied with Goldburg’s people. If I could find the identification or a serial code, I could pretend to be someone who works here and see what I can see. If it’s nothing, I can always just hack into a higher up’s ID—such as, Karai’s for example, and see what I can find. Don’t worry; I wouldn’t do anything that would risk exposing us. I just need to do something, anything. I feel fine, why do we have to stay here longer than we need to?”

 

“Probably cause’ you and Leo can’t fight yet.”

 

“I guess I should be taking you up on the spar offer then, huh?” With one final click, Donnie hesitantly rose to his feet. Retrieving his bo, he shrugged. “I got twenty minutes as it downloads.”

 

“Ya sure? Ya don’t have to.” Raph carefully asked. Sure, Don didn’t look as awful as he did weeks ago. But that didn’t stop him from worrying about his younger brother. “It’s okay to not be ready, bro. Look, Don, ya can talk to me about-.”

 

“I know,” Cutting him off, Donnie sighed. “I know…I just keep thinking about that night. I keep thinking about Mikey, and how every second passes we aren’t getting any closer to bringing him home. And honestly, I’m fine, Raph. You don’t have to worry about me.”

 

“Too late,” Raph mumbled, lowering his voice. “I should…I should have been there. That night.”

 

“Don’t go there,” Donnie insisted, “Please. Don’t. You were doing what needed to be done. We can’t do this, not until Mikey’s home. Right?”

 

“Yeah, right. Let’s see if how good your arm is.” Raphael forced a smile, firming his defensive stance. _Don always just got it, huh?_

 

“Geez, I’m not **_that_** bad. I’ve been though worse. I mean, I ate Mikey’s birthday-cake-with-cheese-pizza and didn’t die so, that’s there.” Donnie teased, trying to laugh. “Come on. The faster I can fight, the quicker we can get back to work.”

 

Raphael smirked, as Donnie gave a short nod of approval as the two began sparing. Outside of the room, Splinter watched his sons. Praying, that he soon will see his family together again. 

/././././././././././././././././ 

Leonardo retreated back into his “room”, which made him feel even more uneasy to call it that. He’s the only one still in the medical wing, but after he awoke they ended up putting all their cots in the same room and sleeping together. It helped, especially early when the aftermath from the poison would hit. Donnie was more sick than Leo was, but that didn’t stop him from being woken up dead in the night having chills and sweating from it.

 

He felt at peace when he was alone. Ever since he awoke, he’s always had somebody with him. Whether it was Splinter, silently praying for his recovery, or Donatello who’d frantically check his condition and his ‘adjustment’ to his prosthetic. Sometimes, it was Raphael who’d sit at his bedside and tell him of the events that happened—both avoiding the questions no one dared asked.

 

_Is Mikey okay? Does anyone know? Have you seen him? Can you feel him?_

_Do you think they’re hurting him? Does he remember us? Does he think we abandoned him?_

_Does he think Don’s dead? That I’m dead?_

_Is he dead?_

He shook his head. Master Splinter said it was of no use to flood his thoughts with hypotheticals.

 

“You wanted to speak with me, Leonardo.” Karai carefully centered the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

 

“Yes,” Leo rose from his bed, unknowingly tracing his fingers over the metal plate on his other wrist. His voice didn’t falter, though, as he looked back up at her. “I…I haven’t had to the chance to speak with you, privately, since I awoke. Everyone here, especially the medical team has been extremely helpful. I was…surprised given our past history with the-.”

 

“As I said earlier, those who remained loyal to the true Shredder returned to Japan in hopes of his return. Not many remained loyal here. Those who did are those who have made good lives here. I look out for those who dedicated their lives to this clan.”

 

“Is that why this Akio is so important to you?”

 

“I…” Karai struggled to find the words. “I suppose so. If it weren’t for him, I would be left with nothing, no one. He kept the morale, so to speak. Whatever his fate, I will bring justice to the ones who have done this to him.”

 

“Then, I need to know something, Karai. And I need the truth.”

 

“I would expect nothing less.” Karai shrugged, leaning against the door. She kept her distance, but her voice was welcoming. She gave a short nod, watching him. “What do you wish to know?”

 

“If this is some game,” Leonardo tensed, testing the muscles of his new hand to grip his katana by his side. “Or a sick trap to get all of us killed—end it. Right. Now.”

 

“You still doubt me,” Karai mused, almost seeming amused by Leonardo’s dark demeanor. “After everything? I’m not surprised. I’ve given you no reassurance not to, after all.”

 

Even after all the years he’s known her, Leo couldn’t help but feel so lost. He believes a good in her, he’s seen her many times. Yet, she will not hesitate to be merciless. His muscle twitches. He blamed the mechanics. “Then stop **_toying_** with me! As appreciative I am for your allowance of my family and I to heal here, your silence and disappearance with Raphael is unsettling, to say the least. You listen to me, and you listen right now. I’m no pawn, Karai, and neither is my family for that matter. If you think these **_‘acts’_** are just ways for us to help ** _you_** advance your in game, then you’ve miscalculated.”

 

“You are truly blinded by your reservations, but more so with your fear.” Slowly, she began carefully moving closer to him. Once Leonardo took a step back, she halted. “It was easy, at the time, to use that against you. Your weakness walks beside you everyday. It is honorable, but it makes you weak. Look at the facts. Have I done nothing but help you in these past weeks? You would have **_nothing_** if I didn’t extend the information to you. In fact you would be dead, if not for me.”

 

“What makes you so sure of that?”

 

Karai hesitated, until she finally spoke, smoothly yet softly, “Bishop did not want to drug, he wanted to torture and kill. I suggested a drug to extend the time, and duration it would take. He wanted to see what made you tick, what would make you break. I told him what would get you best…I suggested your family and your brother just happened to be nearby.”

 

The world completely froze. As if he was swiftly kicked in the gut, Leonardo found himself stumbling back down on the bed. After everything his brother went through, the pain and suffering, and for what? _It could have been me. It was supposed to be me. Oh, God. Why wasn’t it me? It. Should. Have. Been. Me._ Barely composing himself his face paled, trying to find his voice. “You...You stopped Bishop from coming after me? You… ** _You_** -!”

 

Like thunder, Leo shot right back up in a loud growl. Fast like lighting, he was glad for a moment to have his prosthetic—feeling his grasp claw at her arm, twisting it back as he pinned her against the wall. Leaning in close, he whispered darkly, “You **_knew_** , and you allowed my brother to suffer in my place! You knew and put my family at risk-! What makes you think that I-?”

 

“You do not understand,” Karai cut off, trying to turn her head she matched his tone. “I knew if you were the one they wanted, there would be no way I could stop him or have any chance of saving Akio. No matter what, the rest of your family would never agree to cooperate with me. Using your brothers would only-.”

 

Leonardo twisted tighter, feeling himself tremble with rage. “My brothers are **_no_** one’s pawns. Who the hell do you think you are to—?”

 

“You’re letting your emotions blind you, and make you deaf. You are not understanding.” Karai hissed, fighting any grimace of pain. “Let me say this, since you appear to have trouble comprehending it. If I wanted you dead, it would have happened already. I don’t play games, Leonardo. If I were so willing for Michelangelo to be killed, I would have let him taken him and torture your brother that very evening. I could have revealed Raphael’s alias at any point, and subject him to the same cruel methods.”

 

“Then **_help_** me understand why!” Silence fell for a moment. Leonardo felt the weight of his own words, his mind replaying the events over and over. Slowly, he loosened his grasp on her. Taking a step back he looked away, “That night, on the rooftop. You came back. You…you saved my life. You saved Donatello’s and my family. You gave us safety, medicine, protection. Why?”

 

Karai hesitated. Turning back around to him, she too was lost for a brief moment. Her eyes shifting from the ground back to him, softening once her gaze was away from his. For the second time, Leonardo felt her falter. He could feel her searching for the words, carefully. To her, he knew it was almost as if he struck her with his katana and she is strategizing how to strike back. Leonardo held his breath, and he wasn’t sure why. She was human; she could feel and allow herself to say how she feels. That’s being vulnerable, Leonardo understood. _I know you’re capable of better, Karai. I know you won’t say it._

“You remind me of myself a long time ago.” Karai’s voice was soft as she slowly looked back at him. “When I first met you, you reminded me of what I wanted to be. Honor bound, loyal. You did it with ease, while I did not. I have had made many mistakes, and have done many things with no regret. I have threated the lives of your family; I nearly ended your own. And yet, your trust did not falter in me. You offered a truce. You even trusted my information prior to knowing my involvement. It’s…fascinating to me, truly. You have spared my life many times when it was honorable to be taken. I…If you would have perished that night, your family would not be able to assist me any further from stopping Bishop. I should have been dead a long time ago. I could not watch you met a fate that was not just.”

 

Leonardo knew how difficult this was for her. He could only imagine what kinds of conversations with the Shredder were like growing up, the idea of any kind of relationship if any. What was it like? Did he ever love, or support her? What is like, being so alone? He couldn’t begin to imagine how his own life would be different without his family. She didn’t need to say more, he understood. _I hear you, Karai._

“And my brother’s mask?” Leonardo carefully asked, “You risked a lot to see him, to get it. You lied easily about his location, and yet you return with this and reassurance of his safety. Why go through all that for something like this?”

 

“It matters to you, does it not?”

 

“Yes, it does.” Leonardo’s gaze never left hers, as he spoke. “Thank you. I…I’m sorry for attacking you. It wasn’t right, I was…I’m sorry-.”

 

“You are wise to keep your guard. It will surely keep you alive in these upcoming days.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Tell me,” Karai mused, “How do you feel about allowing yourself to be caught?” 

/./././././././././././././././././././


	18. Chapter 18 // "Lost & Found"

/./././././././././././././././././././ 

_I am with you, my son. Be strong._

_Father?_

 

Michelangelo found a strange comfort as he opened his eyes to the white ceiling above him. Everything was the exact same as it was before. He felt better knowing he wasn’t at least moved to a different location. Slowly, he sat upright. Rubbing his eyes, he felt the absence of his mask. Sighing, the memories of Karai flooded back. _She totally took my mask! Ugh, so not cool. Why do that? Wait, she’s still an ally right? I just need to wait for her to come back. As if._ For him, it didn’t matter how long he was out for. He just needed to get out, and fast.

Noticing the IV still attached, his attention went toward the cameras above the door. He figured he’d be under surveillance, most likely on the clock. The eerie feeling crept back in. Mikey couldn’t help but wonder why he was still here, after all this time. _I should have been wacked out for real. But, I’m better—way better than I felt in a while. Why? Ugh, I feel like I’m getting punked._

A loud clang shook Mikey’s attention straight to the front. With a swift shut, his captor smirked as he approached him. “I see you have finally awaken. It’s no surprise it took so long given the amount of toxins in your system. Although, it appears your mutation greatly benefited you in the case of your recovery. It’s rather impressive, truly.”

 

“What can I say,” Mikey shrugged, forcing just as snaking of a smile. “I was voted ‘most likely to impress’. Now that your little science experiment is over I’d really like to leave, thanks.”

 

“I’m more interested in the fact that you’re no longer wearing your mask.” Bishop noted, lifting his head slightly as he shut the door behind him. Mikey almost forgot about it, absentmindedly tracing the ghost of what was. His mind raced, trying to piece together his thoughts. Even though it was fuzzy, he _knew_ that was Karai who took it. He had no idea what ever happened to her, or where the rest of his family even is. He knew he had to think quick.

 

Shrugging, Mikey said, “I just woke up, dude. I mean, this whole thing has been creepy enough but taking my mask is a little weird, dude. I’m sure my blood or whatever the hell you kept me here for was all fun for you but I’d like to get out now-!”

 

“We are only getting started, Michelangelo.” Sliding a chair, Bishop sat in front of his bed. Crossing his arms, he leaned back against his chair. “You see, I seemed to have underestimated you. In fact, it was lucky. Although my creation was successful, it wouldn’t have been enough—I assumed you’d be much easier to influence, but I was wrong. Giving your mutations, your core memories, it would have been a difficult process to maintain and would have consumed resources over time. But, there is a way. To guarantee your submissiveness, without question. You see, you four are not so different from myself. We are not human. I did not ask for the life that was given to me, and yet here we both are—doing the extraordinary. In fact, our mere existence is highly debatable and secret. Our true purpose was never to be human, but to exist. And to exist, we must survive and prevail. A new world will dawn, and I will be the one to bring it. And you, of course, thanks to the DNA I’ve extracted overtime from the rat, and you four, I will be the catalyst for the new age.”

 

“Geez,” Mikey breathed, rolling his eyes. “I give you credit, dude. You must have practiced that a lot to deliver that spiel.”

 

“The city’s fate is inevitable. However,” Bishop leaned in closer, his smile twisting as he mused. “Your family’s, on the other hand, is negotiable. Tell me, what will you do to save your little family?” 

/./././././././././././././././././././ 

“How do you feel about allowing yourself to get caught? Of course,” Karai added. “It won’t be as easy as it sounds. You can get in the inside, but you’ll be putting yourself at risk for whatever they want to subject to you. Getting yourself and your brother out will be difficult.”

 

Leonardo was taken back. His gut couldn’t stop screaming at the possibility of a trap. Of course he’d be baited right into the heart of the enemy for the sake of his brother. The answer didn’t come as easily as Leonardo thought. Of course he was willing to do whatever it took to save Michelangelo from whatever he was facing, no matter what.

 

But, his mind couldn’t help but shift to his brothers. After everything himself and Donatello went through, could he put them in that position again? Is that the most rational thing to do? _It has to be me. It can’t be the others._ “What I’m having trouble understanding is where your role is in all of this. You have access, you got in where he was. Yet, you want to dance around that just to make things more complicated. Why?”

 

“I am just in a mixed position as you are, Leonardo. It is not as easy as you make it sound. Your brother is on 24/7 consistent surveillance, with 7 different firewalls to block security-.”

 

“That’s not my problem,” Feeling himself growing more frustrated, Leonardo couldn’t fight it anymore. “We’re healed, mostly. We must make a move. I’ve chosen to remain here to work together, not hang back. I am going to get my brother back, with or without your help. But if we’re keeping this alliance, you have to cooperate with me. You said it yourself—we don’t have the upper hand anymore. Why are we not planning a strike against their defense?!”

 

“Because there is something more dire at stake that I do not yet know. That is why I’m arranging a meeting with Bishop, Goldburg, and myself. They’re expecting news in regards to Raphael or any of your locations. Even though I do not have as many numbers as I once did, they will be suspicious if I show up empty handed. If you agree, I will provide your location. That will shift their focus, or most of it, to you. Giving your brothers an opportunity to infiltrate the building to get your brother, unless they have moved him. Regardless, the risk is present.”

 

“So, I’m bait.” Leonardo sighed, pacing toward the far end of the room. Karai was pushing him; there was no doubt about it. _If it means Raph and Don are off the radar, I have to do it. No matter what..._ Unknowingly, Leo began tracing the metal band around his prosthetic. A permanent scar, a reminder of his mistakes for the rest of his life. Splinter has been trying to cope him through, encouraging him to see it as an opportunity for protection. _And that is what I must do, for them._ “If you can guarantee it will get me to my brother by nightfall tomorrow I’ll do it, under one condition.”

“I figured so,” Karai scoffed, watching Leonardo anxiously graze over his hand. Regardless of their disputes, Karai couldn’t deny Leonardo’s valor. Never did he hesitate, nor did he think of his own consequences. How could such an act seem so simple?

 

“You must swear to it, that no matter what happens to me—my family is safe. If it comes down to leaving me behind to save my brothers, do it. I…” Leo paused, slowly becoming aware of the weight of his own words. Turning around to face her, Leo’s gaze locked onto hers. “I know you’ll do the right thing, when the time comes. If there is one last favor you do for me, it will be that. Do we have an understanding?”

 

“Did you ever want this?” Karai breathlessly questioned, her eyes genuinely studying his. “The burden you carry. Was this the life you desired?”

 

“It was the life I was given.” Leo spoke softly, so simply, matching hers. “I would do anything to protect my family, I love them. I grew up watching them, guiding them just as my father did. It is who I am. It was what I was raised to do. You speak as if you wouldn’t know. After all, you protected your father, regardless of his cruel actions. Did you want something different?”

 

“Mistress Karai,” A low voice at the doorway drew the tension away. One of her ninja quickly bowed as he approached her. “You have a message, it is urgent.”

 

“Thank you,” Following her ninja out of his room, she halted. Karai looked back to Leo, offering a small smirk. “We will see, won’t we?”

/././././././././././././././././././././ 

_“Raphie? Can you teach me how to not be afraid?”_

_I groaned. I didn’t know what to do. Actually, scratch that, I knew very well what to do._

_It was 1:30 in the freakin’ morning and I was still beat from trainin’. He had his ‘lucky’ blanket wrapped around himself, sniffing as these big crocodile tears streamed down his face and all my ten year old self kept thinking was, ‘Why me? Why not anyone else’?_

_“Mikey, come on!” I pleaded, “Can’t ya go bother Sensei or Leo or **anything** else?” _

_Keeping his distance, Michelangelo stood at the edge of his bed. He shook his head rapidly, gripping his blanket tighter around his neck. His voice cracked as his eyes shot down to his feet, “I-I had a scary dream. I don’t know how to not be scared like you…”_

_At the time, I always just shook those things off. We didn’t have anything to be afraid of back then. Not until we went topside. I started to see where he was coming from, all those years later. But this wasn’t now, this was then. And Mikey was looking at me, the same way I’d never admit to looking at Leo sometimes, probably hoping I would take away all the monsters._

_I wasn‘t any better than what Mikey pictured me to be._

_Leo always knows what to do, even when he doesn’t—he just does. He doesn’t hesitate, no matter what. I’d just react; think with my gut first then when things turn to shit I’d figure out how to pick up the pieces then._

_Donnie always can take a step back, even when he can’t. His mind would go a hundred paces per second while can still hold his on in a fight. He can get us out of any crappy situation. I’m usually the reason we ended up in them in the first place. Donnie fixed everyone, no matter._

_Maybe, Mikey already figured that out. He didn’t need someone to tell him what to do, or fix his fears- he needed someone to teach him how to face it._

_I wish I did._

_Maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess._  

/./././././././././././././././././././././ 

“You seem distant this evening, my son.”

 

Leonardo sighed, returning his katana back at his side. Training always grounded him, until recently. Looking back up, Raphael and Donatello were still sitting beside Splinter. Splinter offered a small, weak smile. He looked so tired, fighting to be the face of hope. Raphael took note of this as well, occasionally eyeing his father with a hint of worry before watching Leo’s—or as Leo noticed, his hand specifically. Donnie masked a whole new persona. While usually quiet, his eyes were distant. Probably coming up with a million and one new ways to get their brother and go back home, Leo figured. Splinter looking so much older, fragile. Raphael so defeated, his eyes dulling more as each day past. Donnie, so speechless. This picture was broken, cracked.

 

They should be home right now. Donnie should be drawing blueprints for the battleshell, happily humming some tune as he strikingly goes to work. Raph should be complaining about something on the news, itching to go topside and set things right. He’d be having tea with Splinter, talking about anything and everything. And Mikey would be-.

 

_He’d be home._

 

This wasn’t right. It should have been right, it should have been. But it wasn’t.

 

And it made Leo want to scream. Scream at the tope of lungs in hopes to drown out his own thoughts, erasing these images in front of him. He felt his chest tighten, squeezing the grip of his weapon as tightly as his metallic limb would let him. This had to stop; he had to stop the noise. He could not crack, he can never falter. That was his duty, his responsibility.

 

“I’m sorry, father.” Hoping he sounded more confident than he felt, he forced a reassuring smile. “I don’t mean to be. It won’t happen again. I guess I’m just a little distracted…”

 

“You apologize for stating a feeling we are all experiencing too well. I know this is difficult for you, for us all. Perhaps some meditation can bring some ease, hm?”

 

“Whatever fuckin’ good that does.” Raphael scoffed under his breath, low enough for at least Don to hear. Don gave a small shrug, his gaze still away from the others.

 

“Raphael,” Splinter turned, “Is there something you wish to say?”

 

“Why bother?” Raphael chuckled darkly, sarcastically scoffing. “It’s not like we’re gonna do anythin’ about it, right? We’ll just sit here, all nice and patient until that bitch gives us ‘permission’ to go out and **_maybe_** get Mikey back. But no, that’s all right. We can just ‘meditate’ and hope he gets a psychic message saying, ‘Yeah, bro, we’re here and we’re ok but yeah you need to wait another month until it’s **_convenient_** for us to come, hope you understand, bye’.”

 

Everyone’s attention was on his. Splinter looked hurt, desperate to find the right words. But that didn’t stop Raphael as he raised his voice, frantically exclaiming, “You know what’s even better, and here’s the real kicker, ya think it’s okay. I mean, Don barely takes care of himself unless I make him and hasn’t said one fuckin’ word since he woke up and when he does he’s at least tryin’ to do something. While this mediation crap is a waste of time, at least Sensei is giving Mikey some type of ‘spirit’ or whatever comfort. But you,” Raph venomously shot at his oldest brother. “You practically gave up. The only person you talk to is that bitch who’s- ** _playing_** you! Just because she barks an order you just lay back and take it like a **_bitch_** -!”

 

“Raphael!” Splinter exclaimed, stopping his cane to the ground. “That is enough-!”

 

“While your brother is out there going through whatever the fuck what-!” Raphael reached for his belt, pulling out his mask. Gripping it tightly as he stormed closer to Leonardo. “See this? I don’t forget why we’re here. Ya just gave up, you fucker! Ya let her take over us, over you!”

 

Leonardo didn’t dare move as his brother tackled him right to the ground. He knew he hit his head first, feeling the pulsing that clouded his vision briefly. He could make out Splinter, remaining so still. His father’s eyes closed, as he looked bowed his head as if in prayer. A desperate plea, Leo thought. Leo could hear Donnie crying Raph’s name, his voice sounding more alive than he heard in weeks. He didn’t give any resistance as he felt Raphael deliver punches over and over. Leo couldn’t feel much besides the desperate cries coming from his younger brother, who gripped his shoulders. “Ya should have stopped him! Ya shouldn’t have let Mikey go-! I…I was right there! Don’t you get it!? If ya left me behind, I would have been able to…to save him…It should have been me, it-!

 

His attacks ceased, allowing Donnie to pull him away from Leo. Raph hung his head, his hands still twitching from the fight. His eyes looked desperate, horrified by what he had done. Snakingly he reached out to him, holding out his hand, “L-Leo, I’m sorry, I-.”

 

“You’re right.” Leo coughed, refusing Raph’s assistance as he slowly rose back up. “You’re right, Raph. I…I’ve been too cautious, playing it safe. I was using my…injury, and Don’s to wait until the time was right. I was waiting for Karai to…to help get Mikey back. I made the wrong call…I was trying to keep us all safe, and almost cost all our lives. I have the scar to remember that. But I’m not going to let this blind me from doing what has to be done. It is my duty to protect you all, and I failed. I will be the one to pay the price, if it comes. Tomorrow night, with or without her help, we’re getting in. I swear, on my life, we will stop Bishop and bring Mikey home—no matter what.”

 

Donnie saw a fire in his oldest brother’s eyes that he hasn’t seen since that night. It ignited a hope that was dormant for him for the longest time. For the first time, Don felt a hope that had faded since Mikey left. Stepping beside Raph, Don smiled.

 

Leo felt powerless as he practically watched Raphael’s mind spiral. Approaching him, he placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder, reassuringly, “Raph, you did everything you could. You had no idea what could happen, and if you didn’t come back…Don and I wouldn’t be here. Mikey wouldn’t blame you, I know we don’t.”

 

“Thanks,” Raphael croaked awkwardly, shrugging his shoulders. “I…I’m sorry I wailed on ya. That wasn’t right, I shouldn’t have hurt ya-.”

 

“I think I sort of deserved it,” Leo offered a small smile. Mikey would be the one to break the tension between the two, or crack some kind of joke to help ease his brother. Waving his metallic limb, he attempted to channel his youngest brother, “I mean, it wouldn’t really be a fair fight I hit you with this, huh?”

 

“Probably not,” Raphael allowed a small smile, as he clapped his brother’s new hand with his. “Be sure to give Bishop that pleasure, huh?”

 

“He won’t know what hit him, literally,” Don perked, until he noticed Splinter. His gaze shifted to Splinter, who still had his head low. His face twisted, Don pointed Raph and Leo toward their father.

 

“Sensei,” Leo and Raph spoke simultaneously, both approaching him. Leo got down on one knee, worryingly checking over his father. “Sensei, I’m sorry I let this scale—it won’t happen again I’m-.”

 

“My sons,” Splinter finally lifted his head, smiling warmly as he held his oldest hand. “Your brother, I can still sense him…But, I’m afraid, I feel his spirit is weakening, the time to act is now. This has been a difficult time for us all, but we must remain together in these dark moments. Only together can we all return home.” 

/./././././././././././././././././././././ 

The digital clock flashed, 1:30AM. His head snapped up, gazing up on the bleak concrete wall in front of him. A flash of panic tightened his chest. He thought he was home. Until he realized he wasn’t. He, and his family, still in Foot headquarters.

 

Donatello didn’t know when he ended up falling asleep slumped over the laptop, a dim light from the opposite side of the room flickered. Picking up his head, he felt a blanket slip off his shoulders and onto his chair. Turning around, he was comforted by a low snore from Raphael. Still sitting upright on the cot, Don found Raph sleeping hunched over. Donnie smiled sadly, he knew how badly his brother wanted to be out just as much as he wanted to be. But after today, Don thought sadly, maybe it could happen. For now, there was peace. And he’d give anything to keep it, just for the moment. Carefully rising, he treaded quietly and gently placed his blanket over Raph. Donnie felt uneasy noticing Splinter’s and Leo’s absence. Knowing they’re both never usually up this late, he began to worry. _I don’t want to wake Raph and freak him out._ _Maybe I should give them a call, or at least go looking for Leo. Maybe a text wouldn’t hurt._

 

Returning back to his desk, his gaze was drawn to his shell cell. Shrugging, he didn’t expect anything until the flashing on his screen said otherwise. He was surprised at the notification that flickered on his screen. _You have 4 UNREAD Messages._ Curiously, Donatello slid his phone open, reading the first message.

_ Leatherhead: [11:30PM] _ _Donatello, I ran the diagnostic for you. No one has tried to infiltrate your lair since you hid. It appears that their search is starting to end. I will continue to keep an eye down here, in hopes for some news. I do hope you are all taking care of yourselves, my friend. I trust in your instincts, but do be careful. Please let me know if you need my assistance further. Also, Klunk has tried to escape many times. I believe he wishes to be with you, but I will continue to take care of him until your return. L.H_

Donnie felt guilty for almost forgetting about Klunk. Of course he’d want to go back to the lair, he’s smart enough to know where Mikey hides all his treats. But, most of all, it’s his home. _We all should be home._ Not wanting to think about it any longer, quickly, Donnie wrote back.

 

_ Donatello: [1:32AM] _ _Hey, L.H. Thanks for the update. We’re feeling fine, Leo’s getting there. Just sick of waiting, but you knew that. I’ll look over the diagnostic and let you know if I find anything. Thanks again. P.S—Don’t feed Klunk after midnight, or he’ll never stop meowing. Hope you didn’t find out the hard way!_

Leatherhead had already done so much for all of them after sneaking into the Foot headquarters, despite his own trauma from labs. Donnie knew without him, they never would have created Leo’s prosthetic as effectively, let alone in time. He knew Leatherhead took a great risk in seeing them. _After everything he’s been through he didn’t hesitate once to help us. I owe you, L.H, big time._ Donnie flipped to the next message.

 

_ April: [12:15AM] _ _Hey, Don. I hope you’re taking care of yourself—yes, that includes sleeping and eating! I miss you guys, and I’ve been hoping for anything from Mikey. Don’t worry; he’s a tough cookie. I’m not sure if Casey told you, but Goldburg hasn’t been at work for almost a week. I tried to see if he got fired, but it looks like he’s on vacation time. I’m going to find a way to get into his office. Maybe he’ll have some files or something. I’ll let you know tomorrow what I find._

Don couldn’t fight the small smile that grew. He wasn’t surprised that April would seize any opportunity to get herself into the action—or trouble, mostly trouble. Even after her attack, she still did what she could to stay part of the team. April never gave in. She recovered a week early than the doctor thought. After that, Don found her sneaking down to the lair just so she can make movie night.

 

Don’s felt his face get warmer, thinking of her. April, no matter what, did her best to put himself and his family first. After all these years, and she still puts her life on hold for them. He knew he couldn’t stop her. Once April had her mind set, she would give 110% before giving anything up. _I guess that’s what love does to people. I owe her, and Casey, so much more._

_ Donatello: [1:36AM] _ _Hey, Ape! Thanks for the check in. We’re hanging in there. Stir crazy, but hanging. And don’t think I’m supporting your ‘Nancy Drew’ career track. But, I rather be your ‘Hardy Boy’ (Totally Frank, by the way, Casey can be your ‘Joe’) then you do this solo. Please don’t do anything reckless, ok? And call me if anything happens._

Clicking the send button, Donnie sighed. Realizing how late it was, he knew he shouldn’t have reached out to April. Hopefully he didn’t wake her. Donnie quickly flipped to the next set of messages, quickly regretting the chance of startling her awake. He almost forgot about the next set of messages pending on his screen. Reading the name across the screen hitched his breath, ‘ _Mikey: 2 UNREAD Messages’._ Donatello knew nothing good was waiting to be seen. That didn’t stop his impulse form clicking the small screen.

_ Mikey: [1:01AM] _ _I am a cage, in search of a bird. (2)_

_ Mikey: [1:15AM] _ _Dude, remember when we used to play hide and seek? You remember my favorite hiding spot. Don’t you? Won’t you come find me, Don?_

_Favorite hiding spot? From when we were kids? Why would that matter?_ Donnie froze his gaze onto his screen, while his mind racing on. The seconded message sounded too much like his little brother. But, there was no way he’d get his phone without Bishop’s intervention. _Unless he’s making him. If that’s the case, I know how to check._ When Donnie first created the shell-cells, they created a secret-code just in case they were ever in a sticky situation. How to address it, was a whole new move itself.

 

_First thing’s first._ While it was most likely Bishop removed the tracking device, Donnie quickly connected his shell-cell to his computer and began trying to override the lockdown code. Perhaps, with luck, Bishop left it in. Sighing, Don shook his head. _He’s no fool. Even if he kept it in, Mikey’s still at the warehouse. I better put up a couple of firewalls just in case he tries to find us. I can’t risk our location. But he’s willing to risk Mikey’s. Why?_

 

Donnie knew Bishop was either writing these himself, or forcing Mikey to do it. Of course, hide and seek is a simple child’s play—anyone could think of it. Don figured if he could prove it was at least his brother on the other line, that’d be a step forward. How to send it, on the other hand, was a whole other story.

 

A part of Don felt guilty; he knew he should be waking up Raphael, or finding Leonardo and Splinter. This was huge; this was the first time in weeks they are—sort of—reaching out. But time was ticking. _I can’t risk Bishop giving up on the idea. Not when Mike’s this close. I have to act now._ Carefully, Donnie composed his message.

 

_ Donatello: [1:36AM]  _ _Yes, you hid under the sink- it was the only place you fit._

Donnie anxiously sent the message. He knew if it was the real Michelangelo, he’d know there was no way to fit under the sink. Mikey never had a set hiding spot, he always changed. If was Bishop making him, Mikey may also lie to protect himself. Suddenly, Don’s memory clicked. _His earpiece! While he’s most likely not wearing it, it has to be somewhere! That has a chip! Maybe I can access it-!_

Staring back down at his phone as he frantically searched. Don wasn’t sure how much longer it would take for a message to come back. A notification popped up on his screen, halting his typing. _Mikey’s earpiece…is active? Bishop never took it apart? Wait a minute…If his earpiece never turned off, and his frequency was still hooked onto everyone but Raph’s when they took him-?_

“Oh, shit, shit, **_shit_**.” Donnie gasped, quickly deactivating the frequency. How could he have been so careless? How did he not know to destroy the frequency? Remembering he was unconscious for most of the time, he cursed at himself for not thinking of it a head of time.

_ Mikey: [1:39AM] _ _I can be flipped and broken, but I never move. I can be closed, opened, and sometimes removed. I am sealed by hands. What am I?_

_A deal. He wants to make a deal?_

Suddenly, a blue flashing light dinged onto his phone. _Oh, no._ After a few flashes, a loud alarm rang out along with Raphael’s that was resting on the nightstand. Donnie cursed under his breath. _He activated Mikey’s emergency alert. He has to know that’s going to give away his location to all of us. It has to be a trap._

“What the-?!” Raphael voice cried out, snapping right awake as he reached for his phone. Raph shook his head as he read the alert across his screen. His tone grew grim, as he shot over to his brother. “Don, the hell is this…?”

 

“It’s Bishop,” Donnie quickly began opening the navigational system. “He’s using Mikey to talk to us. He’s practically giving us his location. He wants us to go after him.”

 

“Using him?” Raph echoed, pacing his way over to Don’s desk. “What do ya mean?”

 

“He’s messaging me,” Donnie hesitantly showed him his phone. “It’s not just Mikey, though. Bishop’s hiding behind Mikey, using his riddles. He’s talking about some kind of deal, and quite literally a trap.”

 

“So? Bishop could be hurting him! We gotta go-!” Raphael reached for his sai, and dashed to door. Finding Leonardo blocking him. A still silence filled the room as the two waited for each other to strike. Raphael felt a sting of guilt as he saw the reflection of his brother’s bruise on his eye. He retreated a step back, trusting his brother whatever decision he makes.

 

“You’re right.” Leonardo nodded, as Splinter appeared beside him. “We plan our strike, tonight.”

/./././././././././././././././././././

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote by Franz Kafka


	19. Chapter 19 // "Surrender"

/./././././././././././././././././././ 

He knew he sealed his fate.

 

The numbness was almost comforting, feeling the all too familiar sensations slowly grey his mind.

 

Standing above the edge of the building, his grip tightened underneath the metal glove.

 

He was lucky he had the mask. He couldn’t let him see him cry. His body trembled, knowing what he must do. What he had to do. He prayed for forgiveness, he prayed for some kind of powerful salvation to save him.

 

But there was no one. Just him. Footprints echoed behind him, familiar voices call out. Was this real? Or not?

 

It didn’t matter. They were here. And he had a job to do. Who would he choose, what would it mean? His clock is ticking. Soon enough, it will be over. Maybe, he gave them enough time. Maybe.

 

Don’t look in the eye, just do it. Don’t listen to their voices, just do it.

 

“Forgive me,” The monotone voice prayed silently before striking at the forces behind him.

 

This would be the end, one way or the other. 

/./././././././././././././././././././ 

_Holidays were my always my favorite days. They were days we were able to celebrate something special, even for a little while, together as a family. Of course I’d count April Fools, even if my brothers totally deny it. But, the best ones were our birthdays._

_When we were younger, Master Splinter let us pick days we’d like to celebrate. Leo got to pick first, then Raph, and Donnie and lastly the best turtle! Leo picked January, Raph was March, and Don picked September._

_I knew I wanted it to be April, right after April Fools day so I got double the fun. It wasn’t until after I picked the day that the rest of my bro’s quickly regretted not picking the month. I was so excited, and for years after. For me, just being around my family and having fun mattered the most—so why not have that back to back?_

_Well, the older I got, the more my pranks improved—as well as my brothers’ blackmailing skills to take away my birthday present._

_It was my tenth birthday, and I was prepared for a full on attack. I planned out my strategies, I knew where to infiltrate. It wasn’t until Donnie teased that I had “the coolest present” waiting. Well, you can imagine how fast my white flag went up._

_The next day, I woke up with nothing. Wait let me rewind here. Sensei got me a new pair of nunchucks—did I mention I dropped my first pair into the sewers? Yeah, gross. But, it was still cool. Usually, the three pitched together present since we didn’t have money or anything like that. Usually it was something we made, or something we found if we got lucky. Anyway, my bro’s showed up empty handed when it was celebration time._

_And let’s just say, ten-year-old-me freaked out. Like, hysterical crying running into my room freaking out. Yeah, mega embarrassing. But it still hurt!_

_That year, I asked Sensei to show me how to sew a blanket for Donnie since he used to end up sleeping on his desk with a book—spoiler alert, he totally still has it even though he said it totally looked like it should be a rug. Side note, that’s exactly the purpose of my present now. Yeah, not cool._

_For Raph, I originally wanted to get him these really cool roller blades. But, Sensei said that wasn’t possible. So, instead, when I was out with Splinter—I found these really cool, old brass knuckles. Splinter told me I shouldn’t give him that, to maybe instead make a card and give him an old board game we found. So, I did. But I totally snuck those brass knuckles back to the lair, and put them under Raph’s pillow with a note. He thought they were cool—in his huffy, “trying to be cool” kind of way._

_Leo was tricky, cause’ all he ever wanted to do was train—like barely any hobbies unless we forced him to pick one up. Huh, some things really don’t change. Anyway, that year I was lucky enough to find these really cool, old, marital arts book that someone threw away. It was kind of lame, but Leo didn’t think so. That’s what counted._

_Just some backstory into why I was freaking out when **none** of my brothers gave me anything. So, my ten-year-old self did the only rational thing my mind could think of—if my family didn’t want to give me something, then I’ll go out and find my own present!_

_Huh, Leo always did joke how sometimes I had Raph’s temper if I was pushed hard enough._

_So, I grabbed my cool neon green flashlight and all the motivation I had pent up inside and snuck out of the lair. Our older lair was easier to sneak out than the one we have now—probably for Sensei’s benefit. Anyway, I remembered where Sensei and I used to find a pile of junk from topside so I figured I’d head there hoping there was a cool comic or something._

_Emphasis on ‘ **thought** ’. I got lost. Mega lost. I felt like I was wandering around for hours. It started to rain really hard, hearing the echoes of the thunder shake the tunnels. Then the absolute worst thing could have happened—worse than the Foot, or Shredder being at the end of the tunnel._

_My flashlight died._

_Yeah, that’s probably when I regretted going off on my own._

_So, I did the next rational thing my mind could thing of. First, I cried because I was scared. It was bad enough I had a really bad fear of the dark, but sometimes I could have sworn that’s how my nightmares started. Then, I tried calling out my family. No one answered. So I ran. Sensei always said if I thought someone was with me, I should run. Don’t stop running until you’re safe, he’d say. So that’s what I did—I didn’t stop running. I didn’t look back, I kept going. And going. It was cold. I felt alone._

_There was no light left—only darkness ahead. I was alone. I made a mistake, and it cost me my family. My body shook, my breath hitched, my heart raced._

_Then I realized…_

_It’s happening again._  

/././././././././././././././././././ 

“The city’s fate is inevitable. However, your family’s, on the other hand, is negotiable. Tell me, what will you do to save your little family?” Bishop placed a disgust emphasis on the word family. A sly, hellish grin stretching form ear to ear.

 

“Leave them out of this.” Michelangelo didn’t hesitate; his breath never shook as his eyes pierced. There was no question when it came to his family. For the majority of his life, he was the one hearing those words. It didn’t matter how powerless he felt. Speaking the worse gave him a rise, wondering briefly if this is what his older brothers felt like. His voice lowered, his gaze never faltering. “You already got me. Isn’t that enough?”

 

“We will see,” Bishop mused, shrugging his shoulders. He paused for a moment before leaning in slightly closer. He chuckled darkly, as he amused twistedly, “Perhaps I don’t need a drug after all to get you to obey. You are quite theatrical, after all. I wonder how well you can preform.”

 

Mikey tensed up, leaning back against his bedpost. _Man, the creep factor is through the roof._ Reflecting Bishop’s shrug, Mikey forced a chuckle. “Uh, okay. Wow. Just…Wow, you’re seriously getting way too-.”

 

“Do **_not_** disrespect me.”

 

His joke was cut off with a brute force that made his head spin. Almost quite literally, to Mikey’s understanding, as his head hit the wall hard. His vision blurred, as struggled to pull himself up. His voice slurred, piecing together his own mind, “Ow. Ugh, that was a little unnecessary I didn’t-!”

 

He felt the cold leather gloves wrap around his throat, clearing his attention back to his capturer. Bishop snarled, squeezing tighter, “You’re lucky you’re still part of the plan, otherwise you would have been disposed of weeks ago. I spent too much money, and time, on perfecting the virus. I will not waste the opportunity because of **_you_**. Don’t bother to fight back. If you do, then I will end you and your family. And the deal is off.” Releasing his grip, he took a step back.

 

“Virus?” Mikey coughed, “A deal? Fine, I’m listening.”

 

“Good. Now, all you need to now is this,” Bishop reached for his pocket, pulling out an all too familiar device.

 

“My cell?”

 

“Yes, this is how you will contact your family under my direction. You will only have this to write what I tell you to write.”

 

“Okay,” Mikey hesitantly took his phone. “Still waiting for your evil twist to come in.”

 

“You see,” Bishop’s lips twisted into a sick smile, “I’m going to make you a deal. Simple, really. This whole city will fall before me, then the world. I didn’t go underground for years without a true calling, or without the right help. A virus. You see, using your blood analysis, and the rat’s—I was able to finalize the mutation of the virus. The whole city will...Well, their minds will be lost. Practically soulless. It will be beautiful.”

 

“That’s sick!” Mikey snarled, “You can’t take away their humanity! Thoughts, feelings—you can’t just take that away with some stupid, cliché, weird zombie virus!”

 

“You’re correct. But, I can minimize their capability. Paralyzing the part of the brain that feels, thinks. It worked to the point where Kito had no desire, or memory, to breath. It can kill, it can submit. And it was your final blood analysis that completed the process. Now, I’m not without some compassion. After all, you were such a huge help. The Shredder would have you dead if he was here, but I will not kill you. Not yet. If you cooperate with me, I will not submit your family and friends to the virus.”

 

“So, they’re alive?” Michelangelo said softly, feeling the first sense of hope that he did since he got here. They were okay, Leo, Don, Raph, Sensei—they got out. They were alive.

 

“For now. How you keep them away is where you come in. I’m well aware of your brother’s infiltration in my drug deal—The Nightwatcher?”

 

A guard entered the doorway, carrying pieces of armor. Dropping them on the floor in front of Michelangelo’s bed. It didn’t take him long enough to piece together whose it belonged to. His heart sank, “No- **_NO_**! You said they were safe-! You said-!”

 

“I meant what I said. What matters, is your cooperation. Now, I’m offering you a chance to safe your little family. You have to break them, completely. I will make it seem like you broke out of here, giving you an opportunity to distance yourself. Then, you will wait for them to arrive. When they do, you will attack.”

 

“Attack…? But why would I-?”

 

“You will inject one of your brothers with this sedative,” Bishop reached into his other pocket, pulling out a bright green sedative. “This will paralyze their bodies, even stopping the heart for a few moments. It will appear that you have killed them. It will only last for a few minutes, giving you a chance to flee.”

 

“I-I can’t! I won’t hurt-!”

 

“I thought you’d say that,” Bishop mused. “The withdrawal effects are pretty nasty, I’ve read. Even though your body is recovering, you will still relapse. I found a way to trigger that for you, clever, hm? That’s why I chipped you. If you disobey me, you will receive an electric shock that will worsen your symptoms after every one. You will let them see it is you, you will betray them, and then return to me. They will be alive, and you will remain here to continue to enhance the virus.”

 

“They’ll figure it out, they’ll come back-!”

 

“And if they do. You kill them.”

 

“You promised they’d be safe-!”

 

“I said I will not subject them to the virus. It is up to you to keep them away. If they get in my way, I will—or should I say, **_you_** will do what it takes. If you want, I can help. I can take away all your feelings, and thoughts, like a puppet. That way, you won’t feel anything when you leave your family.”

 

Michelangelo’s eyes were drawn back to the Nightwatcher’s armor. His mind replaying the last few moments he could remember. Everything was for nothing. He should have never convinced Don to let him go, how could he think he was clear enough to go fight? Everything didn’t matter anymore. Betray his family? After watching what happened to Leo and Don—if they’re even okay. _I promise, I won’t be a liability anymore. I’ll figure this out myself, and I won’t bring you guys down with me._

“No.” His voice matured, his gaze meeting his. “I’ll do it. Myself.”

/./././././././././././././././././././././ 

_It’s almost time._ Raphael kept repeating over and over in his head as he twirled his sai around impatiently. Anything to drown out the arguing. He trusted in Leo, more than anyone, but his mind still couldn’t wrap around why he needed to **_consult_** with Karai. Now he was stuck in one of the smaller conference rooms with her. He sat on the edge of the room, staring out the tall window building. Splinter remained in the infirmary, hoping to mediate to reach Mikey—as distant as he felt. Leo was standing beside Don, updating her on **_their_** information.

 

Half of it made sense to him; she had numbers and tactical advantage. If Bishop were planning something bigger, they’d need the backup. Yet, something ticked him off so much to ask her for help. They’ve infiltrated Shredder’s headquarters all the way to the freakin’ top floor, they fought in the Battle Nexus, they became **_dragons_** to fight off the demonic Shredder—and yet, Raphael couldn’t help but feel so helpless in the situation. Only a few more hours until nightfall, then he’ll be giving Bishop all the hell he deserves. That was, unless a certain ‘someone’ stops him.

 

She was standing in front of Donatello, her voice struggling to remain calm, “So, you’re telling me he’s known our location for **_weeks_**?”

 

Donatello sighed, frustrated. “If Bishop was able to call using Mikey’s shellcell, then yes, he most likely knows how long we’ve been here. But, look, that’s not the point. Right now, we’re focusing on getting to where Mikey is. He’s south, near the east-end docks right now—if we wait-!”

 

“The true question is if he is alone.” Karai turned over to Leonardo, crossing her arms she sighed. “I was supposed to have a meeting with Bishop, but I suppose then our plan needs some reconsideration.”

 

“Plan?” Donnie echoed, “What plan? You two had a plan?”

 

Leonardo sighed, as he rubbed his template. “Look, that was before we received Mikey’s, or Bishop’s, messages. I was going to go in as bait, letting them think Karai captured me. The rest of you guys would infiltrate from behind, giving me time to go in and get Mikey. But if he’s out, somehow, that’s out the window. Or it’s Bishop, using his phone to reach us. We are not splitting up again-.”

 

“Or he probably knows that,” Raphael mused, shooting his head over to him. “I mean, he’s practically makin’ it loud and clear he’s baiting us—knowing we’re taking a risk either way. If we split, we chance gettin’ him and Mikey. Or-.”

 

“Or it’s actually Mikey,” Donnie cut off, worryingly looking down on his phone. “But it’s not him, he wouldn’t talk like that—making him breaking out himself and alone even more uneasy. Or, he’s been drugged enough to…Ugh, even if Mikey broke himself out and got caught, Bishop is either with him telling him what to say or locking him up somewhere. Either way, we’re-.”

 

“So, why don’t we call and find out?” Raphael jumped to his feet; rushing over to Donnie he snatched the phone.

 

“Raphael!” Leonardo instinctively reached out to his younger brother, not realizing the strength of his metallic limb as he grabbed his wrist. Just as Raphael grimace, Leo pulled back. “Sorry. Look, we have no idea what could even happen. If you call, we risk giving away our location if he has it already-.”

 

“And?” Raphael impatiently groaned, crossing his arms. “Look, this is going down one way or another, right? If he’s plannin’ something we gotta act now, right?”

 

“And what would calling accomplish? You think you can just ask him what his huge mastermind plan is, if Mikey is with him or-?!”

 

Suddenly, everyone’s eyes shot to Leonardo as the phone began ringing in his hand.

 

Raphael smirked smugly, shrugging, “Or he can just do it himself.”

 

Donnie quickly grabbed the phone, plugging it into his laptop. “I can try to trace his location, and have it recorded. Looks like we’re playing devil’s advocate after all… ”

 

With a short nod, Leonardo hesitantly answered the call. He hesitated for a moment, unsure of who or what to even say it to. “…Hello?”

 

A desperate voice cried out. An all too familiar voice that he thought he’d never hear again. “Leo? Leo! You gotta help me-!”

 

“Mikey!” Leonardo couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his face. Hearing the sound of wind and the huffing, his enthusiasm quickly diminished. “Mikey, where are you? Are you okay? How did you-?”

 

“Whoa! Whoa! One question at a time, dude! I’m fine, I’m trying to get some distance from the manic!”

 

_Something’s wrong._ Leonardo looked over at Raphael who had a similar reaction—uncertain, and concerned. Karai stood on the far side of the room, allowing the family to unfold the situation themselves. She watched Leonardo carefully, waiting. Donnie’s eyes never left his computer screen, quickly whispering to Leo, “He’s moving. Closer to the river. We have to move now if we’re going to reach him fast enough. Keep him talking, I’m checking for other heat signatures near him.”

 

Leonardo couldn’t fight the dull twist in his stomach. He knew something wasn’t right. Leo knew it was risky, but he had to know if he was truly safe. “Listen, Mikey, I need you to meet us in one of our zones. Can you do that?” As they got older, they set up areas throughout city they marked as ‘safe zones’. Places like junkyards, warehouses, hidden sewer entrances—placing if they needed a placed to say hidden, they’d be safe, knowing eventually they will find each other’s locations. Leo just hoped it was worth the risk.

 

“Uh, can’t right now!”

 

Raphael stepped beside Leo, worryingly looking from Don’s computer screen to Leo. “He’s right near one. Why isn’t he just going there? He knows how to get there, what the hell is he-?”

 

“He’s luring us.” Donnie said as-matter-of-fact, his voice lowering as he pointed to his screen. “I’m not getting a heat signature, just like before. I’ll try security cameras.”

 

“L-Leo?! Dude, please, I’m really freaking out right now-! Where are you? Are you coming?” His youngest brother sounded so desperate, how else could Leo think it was a trap? _If Bishop is making him, what happens if we don’t go?_

 

“Mikey, I need you to listen to me. We’re trying to get to you.” Leonardo quickly responded, his voice becoming more cautious. “You remember where the zone is, and you know Don’s code to access the gate—get there, seal it behind you and we’ll be right there. Is Bishop following you?”

 

“Yes-! I-I mean, no, I…I don’t know! He’s gone! I barely got out of there, I don’t think—I can’t get there, Leo—AH!” His voice suddenly cried out in pain, hearing something fall the line suddenly went dead.

 

“Mikey? Mikey! Damn it,” Leonardo slammed the phone down on the desk. “He didn’t remember the zone, or maybe even where he was. What if…What if he’s still drugged?”

 

“I have something that will help if that’s the case but—Leo, if we don’t go now something worse may happen.” Donnie shot up from his seat, reaching for his bo staff. “We have to go.”

 

“Donatello is correct.” Splinter entered the room, slowly. His weakened frame looked so exhausted, Leonardo figured from meditation. “My sons, I am greatly concerned. Michelangelo is actively blocking me.”

 

“He’s **_what_**?” Raphael shot; rushing over to Splinter he assisted him closer to a chair. “Wait a minute—How can he-? **_Why_** would he-?”

 

“Michelangelo’s mind is usually free, his spiritual connection was always the easiest to connect to. Even though he struggled with meditation, his connection to the spiritual plain was always advanced. But, this isn’t an outside force or influence. Michelangelo is preventing me from entering his feelings, thoughts, and insight.”

 

“Why would he do that…” Donnie echoed, unable to mask his own defeat. “I-I didn’t think the drug could—but if it’s not the drug. If it’s spiritual how could Bishop get enough power to?”

 

“Or it’s Mikey who’s doing it, just Mikey. He could have been…” Leonardo stated grimly, unable to finish his own thought. He didn’t have to. The hopeless expression of his whole family filled in the gap. “We don’t know what Mikey went through. Regardless, we’ll bring him home.”

 

“My men will be nearby,” Karai cut in, stepping closer. “I still believe Bishop has ulterior motives than just your family. They will attempt to retrieve information; some will remain near your location just in case.”

 

“And yourself?”

 

“I believe your friend, April O’Neil has access to Goldburg’s information. I will reach out to her and Mr. Jones for their assistance to access his work.” Immediately noticing the conflicting expression, Karai’s voice soften. “Leonardo, if I wanted your friends assassinated it would have been done. What Bishop is working with is bigger than that, or us for that matter. I will not jeopardize the lives of my men, and their families for a vendetta. You can have my word on that.”

 

Leonardo looked back over to the others, knowing after their recent argument how they’d feel. Donnie was almost out the door, for the first time in weeks his eyes were piercing and dark. He was itching for a fight, and to bring Mikey home. Raphael wasn’t too far behind, impatiently watching his discussion. Giving a short nod, Raphael didn’t need to say no more.

 

“Alright. You know our frequency stay in contact. And for Master Splinter….”

 

“He may remain here, under protection.”

 

“Thank you.” Leonardo gave a quick nod before rushing over to his team. Before he took a step, Splinter grabbed his arm.

 

“My son, I fear there is something more sinister at play. Stay together, no matter what.”

 

“I understand. We’ll bring him home, Sensei, I promise.” Reuniting with his younger brothers, Leonardo lead them rushing out. Hoping there was some luck left to bring this nightmare to an end…

/./././././././././././././././././


	20. Chapter 20 // "Add it Up"

/./././././././././././././././././ 

“I’ll do it myself.”

 

And he did. Michelangelo knew when it was important to focus his attention. His stomach turned, his heart felt like it was jumping up and down, but he fought to keep his firm stance. _Act like Leo, be tough like Raph, be smart like Don._

Once his messages were sent, Mikey suited up. He knew in his comics when the sidekick put on the hero’s costume, it either felt really weird or empowering. Mikey felt weird. Without the under armor it felt stiff, uncomfortable. His mind wandered into how Raph even fought in this. Mikey was more flexible, he was never still and moved a lot when he fought. It was freeing, it was how he is. Now, it doesn’t seem so hard. Not only did it not fit him right, but it wasn’t him. _It’s not Raph either. It’s the Nightwatcher. Man, we **really** should have gotten rid of this! _

 

Bishop handed him with the syringe, it was a light red liquid, and a small earpiece. “Now, you will lead them away from the building. Once you are more than a mile away, send the emergency alert. They will be following you, no doubt. This will keep us in contact, I set it up in the helmet. And the sedative will do the job. Remember, I am always nearby. Disobey me, and I will have your family apprehended and—“ A sinister smirk stretched across his face, “let’s just say you their demise will be far, **far** , worse. Have I made myself clear?”

 

“Yes.” Mikey gave a quick nod. He was itching to be out of the building, but more so to figure out a way out. “I’m ready.”

 

“Oh, and one more thing…” Bishop quickly grabbed his arm, twisting it back Mikey struggled back as he quickly stabbed his neck with a smaller needle. “Just in case your _loyalty_ is questioned.”

 

Mikey maneuvered his way out of his grip, instinctively putting his hand over his neck. “N-No, you said you wouldn’t do this! I said I’d do it!”

 

“I’m aware,” Bishop casually shrugged, returning his hands back in his pockets. “I just enjoy you being my little test dummy. I mean, I could always recruit one of your other brothers. I’m not sure about Leonardo, he was rather easy—I should have kept his hand as a souvenir for you. So much for being so ‘fearless’, hm?”

 

“Shut **_up_**.” Mikey hissed, feeling his glare intensify.

 

“Donatello is always an interesting asset as well.” Bishop continued, his smile growing wider at the sight of the turtle’s anger. “I wonder what would happen if I dissected him while he was still alive, what would that do to that brilliant mind of his. Or I can always count on Raphael, as well. I wonder how much it would take to break him, oh that’d be so much fun to watch him slowly crack and crumble—all because of **_you_**.”

 

“Shut **_up_**!” Mikey was standing by his old bed, and then he wasn’t. Somehow, he moved like lighting. His strength intensified as his vision clouded. He found himself raising his kusarigama blade to Bishop’s neck. His mind screaming to end it, but his body refusing to move.

 

“Just as I suspected,” Bishop dully noted, his smile remaining. “No matter how much you want me gone, your brain sees me as an ally—you cannot hurt me. Good to know. I wonder what will happen if you let your anger get the best of you in front of your brothers. Would you stop just the same? You best begin moving.”

 

_“My son,”_ A distant voice called out to him, sounding much closer and further. More like an echo in his head, _“Let me help you.”_

 

_You can’t, Sensei. I need to figure this out myself. I’m sorry…_

 

Michelangelo waited until Bishop was far enough to glue his eyes to the ground, pretending to fidget with his—no, _Raphael’s_ —gloves. Was he really about to fight against his brothers? Would the drug make him do it? _If they find out…They can’t. I’m sorry, guys._ Mikey has never actively tried to block them from his mind. Of course, most of the time it’s out of desperation. Although Donnie and Leo said they heard Splinter in their mind, once, he or Raph never had a direct experience with it. Mikey didn’t necessarily know how to stop it from happening, but he drew every force of inner strength he had to focus his mind on the task alone. He didn’t know if it could work or not, but he had to believe it was enough.

 

After all, they didn’t hear his cries for weeks. What are the odds any of them hear him now?

 

_I can’t let Bishop release that weird stuff into the city, drugged or not I’m not hurting my brothers either. Man, I wish the Nightwatcher actually had superpowers or maybe—!_

_Wait._

_“Remember,” Leonardo’s voice echoed in his head. “All our earpieces that Donnie gave us let’s us hear exactly what Raph heard. Only mine, and Donnie’s, can actually communicate with Raph only if an emergency. Remember, there are two frequencies you can switch on and off to. Frequency #1 is Raph that you can all hear. Frequency #2 is to the rest of us, besides Raph, where you can talk amongst each other in case for some reason we all get separated. Too much chatter can raise the frequency, hence why Raph is on his own…”_

_If Bishop hooked up the communication with the channel, then the helmet is on Frequency #1. Raph never switched to Frequency #2, or at least I don’t think he did! If I switch frequencies, then I can hear **and** talk to my bro’s! Wait, if that’s true, then Leo and Don—if their even still using these frequencies—can hear whenever Bishop talks to me directly since we’d all be on the same channel. If they hear him talking to me, they’ll know I’m ‘planning’ on attacking them. I can stop this, somehow. I **will**. _

/./././././././././././././././././ 

Any other chance to do this would have been wicked cool. But this was the opposite of cool. Michelangelo knew he was in deep when he was escorted, out of his white-coated-prison room into what looked like to be Bishop’s office. His heavily armed guards didn’t give him much conversation either, regardless of his efforts. His eyes wandered through every passing room, hoping to recognize someone, anyone, to help. Mikey thought of Karai, for a quick moment. Last he knew, she was a temporary ally. The Justice Force did that plenty of times before and it didn’t seem to bite back as much! But she wasn’t there, no one was.

 

_A freaky virus is about to unleash and there are no mad scientists to be around to have a party? What the hell?_

His thoughts were quickly interrupted by a shove of one of the goons out the back door. Mikey cried out, rolling his eyes. “Alright, alright! I mean, the shoving was totally not necessary. I _can_ walk!” Mikey forced a laugh, anything to make light of what was happening to him—what was going to happen.

 

Now he found himself outside, in the brisk air. He took a deep breath, painful breath, before taking off in a dash. He had to move, his body begged for it. His instincts kicked in as he rushed to the top of the building and ran as far away as he could. He ran as if he was leaving the whole world behind. He was the fastest after all. He joked to himself, maybe he can run away from Bishop—from everything—and just go home.

 

But Mikey was far from home, away from safety and his family. _But not for long._ Opening his shell-cell, he clicked the emergency frequency. Picking up his pace, he continued forward.

 

Mikey knew he got always got himself in sticky situations, but he always found a way around it. Usually he wasn’t alone, or his brothers weren’t far behind. His anxiety grew with every step he took. He was alone, and after what Bishop wants him to do—Mikey’s heart sank, knowing it may be something he needs to get used to. _Looks like I’m going to have to go solo. Leo, Raph and Don have done solo missions and got themselves out. I’m not gonna let Bishop start the zombie apocalypse, and there’s no way he’s making me hurt my family. I gotta focus, I gotta get myself out. Come on, think!_

“Call them,” Bishop’s voice caught Mikey off guard, almost forgetting his availability on the frequency. “Make it sound believable, or else I will. Don’t stop moving.”

 

Like ripping a Band-Aid, he flipped open his shell-cell clicking on Leonardo’s number. The dial rang twice before his oldest brother’s cautious, low voice, spoke. _“Hello?”_

 

Mikey wanted to scream. Leo was okay! He was talking, he was alive—somehow—but that didn’t matter how. For weeks, or however long it actually was, he was desperate to hear his brothers’ voices. He wanted to be home so badly. _Oh, right. Let’s hope those April Fools Acting Skills still work…I’m sorry Leo, I’m sorry._

“Leo!” Mikey allowed himself to be vulnerable for that moment, desperately wanting his family to come. “Leo! You gotta help me-!”

 

_“Mikey!”_ Leo sounded just as relieved, but it didn’t last long before he went into full leader mode. _“Mikey, where are you? Are you okay? How did you-?”_

_I wish I could tell you, Leo._ Mikey wanted to cry, he sounded so desperate. Leo just wanted him to come home. He forced himself to continue his act, “Whoa! Whoa! One question at a time, dude! I’m fine, I’m trying to get some distance form the manic!”

 

There was a silence on the line, only his own huffing through running the bitter cold. He thought he could hear Donnie’s voice in the background— _Donnie! He’s okay too!_ —but it wasn’t enough. They weren’t saying anything. Did they figure him out already? Do they already know about the frequencies?

 

_“Listen, Mikey.”_ Leonardo’s voice was stern, as if he was suspicious already. _“I need you to meet us in on of our zones. Can you do that?”_

_Why isn’t he asking about if I’m okay or sounding more worried? I mean, he lost a freakin’ hand and all he’s thinking about is—!_

_Wait. The zones?_

_Oh, shit! The freakin’ pizza location named zones! How did I completely forget about that? That would have been a **way** better plan… _Michelangelo knew he had to recover fast, knowing Bishop was both listening and nearby. “Uh, can’t right now!”

 

_Oh, that was real good. Megan Fox is better at acting then me. Crap. Crap!_ The silence returned, raising his anxiety even more. He can’t let them find him, and going there would have been a better option. _I can’t go there unless Bishop is away from the frequency and me. Why aren’t they **saying** anything? _ He had to get them to talk to him, anything to silence the anxieties. “L-Leo? Dude, please, I’m really freaking out right now! Where are you? Are you coming?”

_“Mikey, I need you to listen to me.”_ Leo’s voice was so calming; he made it so much easier. _“We’re trying to get to you. You remember where the zone is, and you know Don’s code to access the gate—get there, seal it behind you and we’ll be right there. Is Bishop following you?”_

_Dude, what about ‘can’t right now’ does he not get?! Typical Leo, always sticking to his plan—!_

_Wait, why would he want me to go there so badly? I can’t say that Bishop is-!_ Mikey cursed under his breath, as he halted his running. Catching his breath. His mind was flooding, he felt his head grow heavier. _No, I can’t let it happen again._ His stuttered, trying to fix his story. “Yes, I mean, no, I-I don’t know! He’s gone! I-I barely got out of there, I don’t think—I can’t get there, Leo. I’m—AH!”

 

“Enough!” Bishop barked in his mind. A wave of electric shock singed through his body, screaming through every muscle in his mind. Collapsing on his knees, he tried his hardest to fight. To fight Bishop from gaining the pleasure of his suffering. To fight Sensei from entering his weak, stupid, broken mind. To fight the very idea that he has to hurt his family in order to save them. To fight the drug seeping through his veins. He allowed himself the few seconds of screaming, it was comforting to hear it echo out in the sky rather than his own head. He wanted it to end, all of it. It was too much, too suffocating.

 

Mikey didn’t know what was worse. Letting Bishop be the upper hand, or himself.

 

But Mikey knew what would hurt more.

 

He rose back to his feet, and picked up the pace.

 

He had to end this, one way or another.

/././././././././././././././././ 

“He’s still moving, we’re close! Stay straight!” Donnie called out from the rear of their herd, treading only a few feet behind Raph and Leo. His eyes shooting from his shell-cell to the way ahead. “Guys? What are we going to when we get to him?”

 

“I don’t know,” Leonardo quickly responded, hoping to avoid the possibilities. “We won’t know until we see what state he’s in. If anything, we calm him down like before—if he gets hostile, use the tranquilizer dart. The sooner we get him home the better.”

 

“And if Bishop is followin’ him?” Raphael retorted, matching his pace with Leo’s. “If he attacks again and he uses Mikey-.”

 

“We’ll handle it. Getting him away from Bishop is the top priority.” Leonardo saw a flash of movement ahead of him, jumping to the building on his right. Turning his head, he saw something run further away from them. “Don? Did he just move?”

 

“Yeah! Hang right!”

 

“Is that him?” Raphael asked in disbelief, as they ran closer behind him. “Is that? Is that **_my_** suit? What is he doing-?”

 

“Stay on him!” Leonardo ordered. “Raph, go in from the left. Don, you take the right. I’ll stay on his tail. Move!”

 

_Please, little brother. Don’t be hurt, don’t be drugged—Just end this. Come home._

/./././././././././././././././

It was empty, silent. It made Splinter uneasy. His youngest was never quiet, especially in his mind. Splinter taught them young the significant of the spiritual realm, and their ability to train the mind and body together. It gave them an inner strength to outstand even the darkest of times. It guided Leonardo back to them when he was away, eased Donatello’s pain even through torture, and hesitated Raphael before acting too brashly. Even when their identities were changed, it was the happiest memories that snapped them back into reality. Each of his sons connected with their spirituality and their abilities differently. Perhaps, Splinter mused, he should have spent more time fostering that relationship more.

 

Leonardo was always fascinated with his lessons with him. Always eager to learn more about how to enhance his ability. He was quick to master, to understand. It was his discipline that made his connection, at times, uneasy. It was his doubts at times that clouded his mind. Splinter wondered if was the amount of pressure Leonardo faces, from himself and his own father that shaped his perception.

 

Raphael fights with his heart, trusting in his instincts to act first. Raphael struggled to understand the spiritual complexity, shrugging it off while focusing more on his physical training. While he respected it, and learned the necessary trainings in order to fight against an unseen force, Raphael rarely engaged in these activities. Splinter knew, like all his sons, Raphael’s own spiritual connection differed than his brothers. His heart was his center, his passion speaking volumes for the connections he feels.

 

Donatello easily grew frustrated throughout the training. His mind was incredibly advanced, logical. He trusted in what he knew, taking comfort in the ability to comprehend and execute action that he could calculate. Trusting in the unknowing was challenging for him, and like all his sons approached it differently. It wasn’t until the Tricertons captured him and used their machines to search his mind that snapped him back. Splinter heard his son’s desperate cries. Donatello was in so much pain and distress; Splinter could feel his mental walls come down—desperate for anyone to bring his sanity back to him. Donatello learned to trust in his spiritual self, knowing he had the strength within him to fight back. Even through the mutation, Splinter could tell Donatello was still using his spiritual self to fight through and not hurt his brothers. Perhaps, Splinter thought, it comforted Donatello to know it’s significant presence was enough.

 

Michelangelo was as interested as he could be. Splinter understood his son’s tendencies to easily lose focus, or become distracted. Knowing they were not human, and there was no means of trying to help him medically, Splinter did the best he could to tailor their training to support his son. To his surprise, it was the spiritual training that became an easy strength. His mind was so free, open, and so happy—overtime, Michelangelo became the first to access his connection the easiest. Watching, Splinter wondered if perhaps his spiritual connection was simply _himself_ – carefree, warm, energetic.

 

_Then why is it so quiet?_

_Splinter treaded cautiously within the plane. Feeling himself treading over the emptiness, the darkness—so opposite of his youngest. He circled around what felt like months in his mind, searching for hopes of any light. He mentally held his breath, feeling he was no longer alone._

_“My son,” Splinter warmly reached out to nothing, “Michelangelo. I am here for you. Whatever happened, you do not have to fear me. Come, I can help you. But, you must come out.”_

_“You can’t,” It was a whisper from behind, or was it beside him? Splinter still mentally turned. It sounded like his son, but it didn’t. The voice sounded older, almost like Leonardo’s but it wasn’t. “Please, Sensei. You can’t—I don’t **want** you to be here.” _

_“Let me help you, Michelangelo.” Splinter mentally raised his voice, “You do not need to face this alone. Your brothers are coming to help you, I can help.”_

_Suddenly, Splinter heard his son cry out in pain. A white vision flash before him, and he was no longer in the darkness. He was outside, cold and standing on a rooftop. Then suddenly he felt himself collapse down to his knees, feeling the electric shocks tremble his mind and body. Splinter knew this was in his head, and that this was no longer his mind. He was with his son, feeling the same pain just as he did with Donatello. Splinter felt guilty for seeing the benefit of the opportunity in front of him, but if his son was weakened he could break the wall more easily._

_“My son,” Splinter softly spoke through the pain. “You’re stronger than what is happening. Do not let this break you. Fight back.”_

_“I **can’t**!” Michelangelo cried. Splinter felt his head look up to the night sky, surprised at the amount of stars that were out. Splinter knew this was an out of body experience, he recalled this happening previously with Donatello as well. Splinter knew the risks, fighting to stay just a little longer._

_“Go!” A different louder voice crackled, Splinter felt himself—or Michelangelo—reach for his head. “End this chase or I will.”_

_It was Bishop, he was forcing his son to fight against his own family. Splinter didn’t have much time, he could feel his spiritual connection slowly fading. Splinter struggled with his own thoughts, could his son be drugged? Was he tortured into this? Unknowing, he did his best to quickly comfort, “My son, trust in yourself. Trust in your family. They will understand, let them help-!”_

_“Ah!” He struggled back on his feet, stumbling to keep on running._

_“Mikey! Stop!”_

_“Don, cut him off!”_

_“No, they’re getting too close!” Michelangelo was so desperate, so lost. Splinter felt his speed pick up, rushing over to the next building. He was shocked again; Splinter felt his own self cry out in pain as his youngest tripped over himself. He stumbled over the concrete pavement, his head eventually hitting the ground. His body twitched over the last few shocks.He felt himself look down at his hands, which were covered in the same materials as Raphael’s suit. Splinter didn’t have the time to wonder, his head turned over, noticing his other sons running not too far behind. Michelangelo’s voice returned to him, as he felt himself stand back on his feet and kept running. “Sensei, tell them to **stop**. They can’t come near me, please!”_

Splinter felt himself get knocked back into reality. His head hung, knowing he was defeated once again. Aging was hurting him more than he thought, feeling his mind and body physically greatly weakened. He knew the out-of-body experience was extremely dangerous if not mastered. To experience another’s thoughts, feelings, even what they are seeing, hearing, and physically feeling—it can become dangerous.

 

Trembling over to his shell-cell, he quickly speed dialed the first number he could easily access. His mind prayed for any salvation for his family, any hope to stop this nightmare from becoming any more horrific… 

/./././././././././././././././

_Growing up, we didn’t have much around the lair. It wasn’t until we were almost teenagers that Donnie was able to figure out how to get the electricity up and running enough to support more than his laptop. Before that, we usually managed with the little things—broken board games with pieces missing, books that we were able to salvage over the years, half complete puzzles—anything to keep our minds busy when we weren’t training._

_Donnie’s mind was born for those kinds of things. Even when we used to play with the puzzle ‘together’, Don would wait until our attention was distracted enough to carefully examine it himself. I remember he liked to try to fill the pieces that were missing, recreating the empty spaces with his own drawings or crafting using old cardboard. I always admired his flexibility to think outside the box, able to make even the most broken things whole again somehow._

_I was the most patient with Don, ending up with me probably playing the most with him. I mean, Don practically hand-made a chess set that didn’t have all the pieces. Sensei taught us how to play but Mikey would be easily distracted, and Raph would get bored or annoyed—Don took his time, piece by piece. That’s when we had a tradition of just playing together. Usually we tied, I never had to ‘fake’ it. Don was just that good. While I focused on my defense, he was tactically planning the offense. I never truly told Don how much I loved to just watch his eyes light up when he read something enlightening, or when he fixed something just right, or when he first got the infamous toaster to work._

_Sometimes I wonder if he ever feels like that anymore. Do things like that fade? When did a discovery become just something helpful to keep us alive?_

_Raph was more into the “doing” side of games, like me. When we were little, we always hung out the most together. Donnie took his time with games and puzzles, Mikey was too energetic to focus on one thing—Raph and I liked to be more active, which usually was us sparring together. I loved learning; Raph loved the thrill of it. Anything to keep him moving, feeling the rush._

_Mikey is different. It’s the experience that makes him the happiest. It was a few weeks before his birthday, when Raph and I were exploring around the sewers. That’s when we found it, broken and scratched up. Someone’s trash is another one’s treasure, Sensei used to say. Raphael picked it up, his eyes lighting up as he shined his light over it. A skateboard. Mikey always talked about wanting one of these. I can remember him looking at me, hoping we were thinking the same thing. Don can fix it, Raph and I can make it look good—It was fate._

_And that’s what we did, in secret of course. Mikey was always on the tail end of whatever we were all doing, and secrets were the hardest to keep from him. We had very tight spaces in our first lair. As if sharing rooms didn’t cause late night arguments and fights, we only had the one large living area, Sensei’s room, and a derailed train car where Donnie kept all his scrap materials._

_Since Donnie spent the most time repairing it, Raph and I had the dangerous task of keeping Mikey distracted. The first few weeks felt like months to us, trying to keep Mikey away from seeing Donnie at work. Whenever he’d get suspicious, we’d immediately play into anything he wanted to do. Which meant a lot of make believe playing, coloring, and all his made up games that ended with all of us laughing so hard our sides hurt. Even though his games were silly, it was authentic—playing as kids, it was the only time we were actually kids. It wasn’t as bad as Raph and I made it seem, I caught him smiling more than rolling his eyes._

_Once Donnie actually finished fixing it, with Raph and I taking turns distracting Mikey and helping him—we went straight to making it look nice. Scavenging through the sewers for paint, Donnie actually **trying** to make paint (which was disastrous)—Don got lucky enough to pitch together enough supplies to fix it right up. _

_“Is it ready yet, Donnie?”_

_“Almost!” Donnie smiled, carefully “I finally got the wheels turning just right, and everything else just fell into place! Just waiting for Raphie to finish up the paint and then we’re all set!”_

_“ **Don’t** call me that,” A loud voice echoed from across the room. Raphael was sitting on the floor, carefully brushing the paint over the wheels. “You’re gonna make me mess up!” _

_“Once the paint dries we can do a test run!” Donnie was so excited. I mean, he was always fixing things around the house, trying out new stuff for his own learning—but this was one of the first things he made for us to use._

_With Mikey’s birthday the next day and the paint all dried, the board was ready for practice. Now, looking back on it—this was the worst thought out plan. We were overconfident, Donnie spent hours working on it, Raph worked really hard on the paint, I helped Donnie find the pieces and put it together—of course it’d be fine. We thought one test run would be good, just in case the wheels needed it._

_So, being the most ‘balanced’ one—I tried it out first. Just roll it down the sewer pathway, nothing fancy. Donnie distracted Mikey while Raph and I went out “scavenging”. I’ve never been on one of these, but how hard could it be? I mean, we were practically ninjas at this point already. How hard could it be?_

_I didn’t even make it to the end of the pathway before the wheels broke, sending me and the board straight into the sewer water. After Raphael’s hysterical laughing subsided, I emerged from the vaguely passable ‘water’ with the completely ruined board. That stopped him quick._

_“ **Leo**!” Raphael complained, snatching the broken board. “You ruined it!” _

_“I told **you** we should have tested it sooner!” I defended, feeling both embarrassed and defeated. “Mikey’s birthday is tomorrow! We have to fix it!”_

_Raphael and I argued most of the way back, sneaking past Mikey and desperately begging for Donnie to pull a miracle. And he did, like we always ask him to. The next day came, and Mikey was full of excitement. We had a few hours left before we celebrated, and Mikey was soaking most of my attention. By the time Splinter took him away for training, knowing what the rest of us were planning, I rushed back to the others._

_Donnie was near tears, and Raph was just as furious._

_“What happened?!” I whispered loudly as I shut the train door behind me, “Where’s Mikey’s present?”_

_“It’s doing the same stupid thing it did yesterday!” Raph crossed his arms, “Now he’s gonna freak out!”_

_“I-It broke again, Leo.” Donnie hung his head, “R-Raph was trying it out just to make sure everything stayed and it broke. I-I tried, Leo! I did!”_

_“I know you did, Don. It’s okay,” I put my arm around him, looking at the broken wheels “Hey, look, we still have some time before cake. Raph can keep Mikey busy, I’ll help you fix this, okay?”_

_“Okay…” Don sniffled, rubbing his eyes before getting right back into work._

_“Why do I have to distract him, **again**?” Raph complained, awkwardly shrugging his shoulders. I knew he felt bad for breaking it. He sighed and finally gave a short nod, as he put his hand on Don’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Don. I’ll play that stupid Twist game with him. Leo’s got ya, okay?”_

_“It’s Twister,” Donnie chuckled, offering Raph a small smile. “But, thanks for trying…Better now then when we give it to him, right?”_

_Donnie and I went straight to work, well to be fair it was mostly Donnie. I was trying to pick up to his pace and figure out what to do correctly. Suddenly, we heard Mikey’s excited cheer._

_Which meant it was time. Donnie frantically shook his head. We weren’t even done yet._

_I don’t know what hurt more. Was it the fact we weren’t ready in time and that we were about to show up empty handed? Or was it that no matter how hard the three of us tried, it never was suppose to work out?_

_Sometimes no matter how hard we try, we still pick up the broken pieces in hope to create something new—better. I just hope Mikey isn’t broken enough to piece together…_

/./././././././././././././././././ 

_I didn’t have a chance to stop him._

_I was always the one to think fast. Even if it didn’t make sense, it just had to work. But, I wasn’t as quick then. And he already ran. Ignoring our cries to stop. We didn’t even have a chance before Sensei stepped in._

_“Michelangelo!” Sensei tried calling out first, taking a step forward. Mikey was too fast, and the door was already shut. With the slam of the door, that’s when he snapped to us. Looking more hurt than disappointed, he slowly addressed, “Leonardo, explain why is it you and your brothers are empty handed?”_

_I felt awful, especially when Sensei gave us that look. You know, that ‘what did you boys do now’ look that he gave us more times than others. Of course, while he meant it to go to all of us—it mostly went to Leo. Raph and I were too little to understand, we saw it more as a saving grace. A way to avoid Sensei’s disappointment, letting Leo take all the heat. Now I really wish I stood with Leo and not behind him watching._

_I can remember the anxious stutter he used to do when he felt guilty. Frowning, Leo quickly tried to recover, “N-No, Sensei, it’s nothing like that! We didn’t finish his present yet! We—I thought it would be done in time! I-It broke when Raph tried-!”_

_“I did not break it!” Raphael defended, crossing his arms. “It was already messed up! **Leo** broke it first! **Don** was the one who messed up the pieces-!”_

_“I’m sorry!” Guilty was an understatement. It was my job to make sure everything was fixed properly. I was the one who convinced Leo and Raph that I could fix it in time for Mikey’s birthday. I’d fix it and everything would be fine. Failure could always happen, but I did my best to make sure it only affected me—not the others._

_“It is alright, Donatello.” Sensei comforted, still looking distressed. “Accidents happen, and you three tried your best to make it right. Now, you must reconcile with Michelangelo.”_

_How? I kept wondering, over and over. How can I say I’m sorry for something that should have been done weeks ago? I didn’t plan ahead, I didn’t anticipate the delays. I wasn’t ready._

_I thought I was._

_I hope I am._  

/./././././././././././././././ 

_How is it almost 2:30AM? Have I really been at it this long?_

 

April O’Niel found herself reaching for the shell-cell, hesitantly scrolling through her messages hoping for something – _anything_ – new. She knew it was only a few hours ago she heard from Don through text, but it still didn’t ease the uneasiness she felt. Ever since they resided at the Foot, they all agreed it would be best for them to keep a safe distance—just in case the Foot had other motives. Days turned into weeks, and normal returned. April went back to work after the first few days of their attack, wanting to be close if Don or Leo’s conditions worsened. Casey also took off for a while; staying with Raph no matter how many times he got pushed away. After the first few weeks, Don was finally out of the woods and Leo had his surgery.

 

She could remember the grim, bruised gaze that Donnie had before joining Leatherhead and the Foot specialists for Leo’s surgery. Before he stepped out the door, she gave him a quick hug. Promising hope that everything will be okay, she knew he faked that reassuring smile before stepping out. Raph wouldn’t talk much, at least to her. When he wasn’t having a drink with Casey, he was out running errands for Karai.

 

She knew they didn’t have much of a choice, especially given their conditions. But that didn’t stop April from feeling so _frustrated._ Why didn’t she do more? It’s been the first time in months she’s back in action and they completely failed; Don’s still picking up his pieces, Leo is barely recovering, Raph locks himself up, and whatever Mikey is going through…

 

She had to distract herself. Away from the defeat, from feeling so useless. That’s when her real work began.

 

Despite Don’s concerns, any opportunity to find herself near Goldburg’s office she took. Upon returning to work, she did her best to try to track his locations and activity. Convinced he was truly no longer in the building, April began her plot to sneak into his office. All his numbers were cut off, the higher up’s stated he was away on paid leave—April didn’t buy a minute of it.

 

That’s how she found herself lost within the small hours, sitting on their small dining room table with her second coffee in the evening and typing away with the television being drowned out behind her thoughts. It was late, but she couldn’t sleep. She knew that’s why Casey was staying up watching a late re-run of an older show, waiting for her to finally fall asleep at the table like she’s been. But she couldn’t give up now, not when she felt she was _so_ close. _Don would get this in five minutes. I can’t give up, I won’t._

 

“Don’t tell me…Are you still trying to get into his email?” Casey groaned, tilting his head back against the couch for his eyes to meet hers. The grease smudges across his face spread as he rubbed his forehead, smirking up to her. “You do know these things get you fired, right? We can barely afford this gig with _both_ our jobs—and you remember what it was like living in the sewers before, right?”

 

“It doesn’t matter,” April answered curtly, shaking her head. “Them being home is better than now.”

 

“April,” Casey sighed, defeating. He was exhausted, she knew, from both the job and his vigilante side career. No matter how many countless arguments it was worth, Casey did what he thought was best—staying close behind Raph and making sure the Purple Dragons stayed in their territory. He hoped by mapping out their locations he could get a lead. She appreciated his efforts, knowing his heart was in the right place. But that didn’t stop her from avoiding his glance. “Babe, look, I know you’re tryin’ here but if you get fired what good would that do for anyone?”

 

“Sitting here waiting is just as worse!” Rising from her seat, she paced to their small kitchen to fill up her cup. “I mean, it’s bad enough that they have no idea where Mikey is but that they’re basically _living_ in the Foot lair!”

 

“I know,” Casey jogged over to her, catching her with a hug from behind. “I know, I had to cut Raph off the other night from drinking. We used to do it for fun and relaxing, but now he just doesn’t talk. I’ve been trying for weeks to figure out where they got him, I feel like I’m getting close-!”

 

“Casey,” April sighed, turning herself around to him. Cupping his face, she offered a small smile. “I know you’re trying, but Bishop is just as bad as the Shredder was. Except he’s smarter and has more money, and power. Something bigger than the Dragons is going on. I mean, what if Mikey isn’t even in the city?”

 

“You think?” Casey looked away, shaking his head. “No, he’s here. I know it. The building needs to be eating up electricity somewhere, right? There’s a few more warehouses on the West End I didn’t scope out, no Dragons around or anything. Could be a lead.”

 

“You know what’s still been stumping me…” April sighed, “That night they were still in the lair, when Bishop called Mikey’s cell? When they were taking turns staying up and Raph said that Bishop called his cell, Bishop told him he was able to see in the lair. How long was he planning this? How did we not catch on that there was any tech in there that wasn’t Don?”

 

“You think this asshat was planning this for months? But, why? Like, okay, I get it with the weird mind controlling drug but—what’s his end goal? Just making their lives miserable? By _stalking_ them? It’s like he _knew_ exactly when we would plan our strike, and made sure that he was nearby when he attacked. And he had those really weird microphone bugs around their house too, with the pizza, remember? Man, talk about your freak obsession... Creepy.”

 

“We really should do a scope of the lair you never know-.”

 

“There’s no point in that anymore,” Casey shrugged, reaching for the fridge to open another beer. “We can do that when they go home—Bishop already saw and got whatever the hell he wanted from them. The problem is what he’s going to do with that drug. With Goldburg disappearing, I’m starting to wonder who Bishop’s ‘friends’ actually are. The Purple Dragons retreated back to their territory besides a couple of them, Hun included. They always want a cut of the action. But, if the Shredder was able to schmooze his way to the mayor, Bishop had a freaking army at one point. Do you think he’ll expose the guys?”

 

“Maybe I should give the guys a call-.”

 

“I believe they are currently unavailable at the moment.” The couple snapped over to the source of the voice. Sitting on their dining room table, the window behind her opened she shuffled through their mail that was sitting on the table. Karai smiled smugly, flipping them back onto the table. “You two must be getting old, you didn’t even hear me knock. I just had to let myself in. Rude indeed.”

 

“ _You_.” Casey hissed, instinctively putting his arm over April as he stepped in front of her. “Can’t imagine what brings you over to our parts. Where are the guys?”

 

“Busy,” Karai answered simply, rising from her seat. “It seems that Bishop has moved to the offense. The turtles are pursuing him.”

 

“The offense?” April echoed, worry rising in her voice. “Wait, the guys are out? What’s going on? Why didn’t they-?”

 

“It all happened rather quickly,” Karai cut in, walking over to their window she stared up. “They received a distress call from Michelangelo, it appears Bishop was ready act before we could. They are perusing his location. But something is wrong; Bishop does not let his resources go—he uses them to get more—most likely an attack to get all four of the turtles. That is why my men are following behind, carefully. And that is also why I am here.”

 

“To recruit us?” Casey joked, crossing his arms. “Sorry, lady, don’t think we’re cut out for the Foot.”

 

“You’re not.” Karai amused, looking back at the couple. “But your assets are. Ms. O’Neil, I believe you work in the same building as Goldburg, yes? I believe Bishop’s attack is much greater, and dangerous than we believe. I will need you to give me access and bring me to his office.”

 

“I-I’ve been trying for weeks,” April admitted, “I mean, even if I could get in—he hasn’t been around for just as long. What makes you think he kept _any_ of his work with Bishop in there?”

 

“I believe your building is where he is creating his drug. Goldburg is hiding, a trail is always left behind. With your hacking, and my investigation skills, I hope to work together to put an end to a potentially disastrous event. I already spoke with Leonardo and he agreed, so you do not have to worry about this being a trap or however you believe.”

 

“Oh, there’s no way in _hell_ I’m letting you take her with you alone.” Casey defended, holding April’s hand. “I’m going with you, to be sure she’s safe.”

 

“You don’t trust me…” Karai said, sounding more to herself then out loud. Returning her gaze back at them, she offered a small smile. “Understandable. But we’ve delayed long enough, we must infiltrate now before the lose anymore time.”

 

“Now?!” April echoed, “It’s closed-! How do—oh, you plan on breaking in don’t you.”

 

“With your access, I hoped it wouldn’t be so. But, we have no time for this. We must move. Now.”

 

April looked over to Casey, who looked just as uneasy as she did. If this was any bigger than either of them think, and it sounded like Leo gave his word— _Anything is better than doing nothing. I just hope we can trust her long enough to get through this…_

/././././././././././././././././././././


	21. Chapter 21 // "I Saw the Sign"

/././././././././././././././././././././ 

“So…Watch anything good lately?” Casey spoke again, his gaze occasionally shifting from the road to his rearview mirror where Karai was sitting. Her eyes didn’t move from the window as she remained silent. “No? Okay, I get it. Nothing good on, anyway. You into music or do you prefer hearing the sounds of your enemies screams…?”

  
“Casey, please.” Pleading with Casey for the third time, April gave a light slap on his arm. Talking over his laughter, she tuned back to Karai. “I’m really sorry, just ignore him. He’s a real pain.”

 

“To say the least.” Karai’s voice was low, her eyes glued to the window. Her eyes shifting up towards the sky, most likely scoping the area for her men nearby. April felt uneasy, to say the least with the turtles’ once arch-nemesis sitting in the backseat. If Leo could have enough faith in her, shouldn’t she? April felt for Karai, whatever little it was. Losing your ‘father’, picking up his messes from dealing with the turtles to convincing the mayor that her father simply passed away—April couldn’t help but wonder why Karai even bothers continuing her father’s work. A chance at freedom, any chance to start anew—why not take that?

 

April’s stomach dropped. Is it possible that Karai never did let go of her grudge against the turtles? After everything Leo has risked to give her hope? April worryingly glanced back over to Casey. His hair had grown long enough to throw it back in a bun, regardless of how many times she’s pleaded him to get a cut. She couldn’t help but smile slightly at the way he’d chuckle whenever he was making a joke, or the way he’d smirk when he just knew he was getting under your skin. Reaching for his arm, she squeezed as she desperately sent psychic signals his way to be cautious. _Please, Casey. Don’t._

 

Casey’s smile widened as he wrapped his hand with hers, keeping one hand on the wheel. Giving it a light squeeze, he smiled to her. Softly, he leaned over toward her enough to say, “Don’t worry, babe. The guys can take care of themselves, and I’m built like a tank. We can handle this.”

 

With a short nod, Casey’s eyes quickly darted toward his rearview mirror. Karai’s gaze never left the window. That didn’t stop Casey from continuing his antagonizing with a chuckle. “So…Do you at least have a life outside of being the princess of the Foot? You know there’s this thing called dating- OW!” With a harder hit on his forearm, Casey quickly cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes on the road. “Geez, okay! We can’t small talk, fine, then let’s real talk here. Where exactly are the guys? I still think it’s rather convenient we haven’t heard from them and yet here you are expecting us-.”

 

“You did not have to accompany us, Mr. Jones.” Karai commented, smugly. “Myself and Ms. O’Neil are more than capable of accomplishing the task ourselves. I would have gladly given you their destination if you asked. But, you appeared rather insistent. I am not expecting you to do anything except jeopardize the task at hand.”

 

Casey rolled his eyes, sarcastically mumbling, “And, yet, here we are with no idea what we’re walking into.”

 

“The fact you are shows some trust for me, or the cause.”

 

“Not you.” Casey quickly responded. His eyes returned to the road, “If what you say is true, I’m trusting Leo on this. If Bishop or whoever is planning on bringing more destruction to the city, or if there’s anything in there to help Mikey—that’s why we’re doing this. There’s been enough destruction in this city. I’m sick of the guys always taking the hits for it. It’s about time we get a chance to make it right.”

 

“Why do you care for a city that has done nothing for you?” Karai’s abruptness caught the couple off guard. Immediately catching their attention, Karai softly spoke. “There will always be people in the world who want more, and will stop at nothing to get it.”

 

“And what does that make you?” Casey said venomously. Even after the evening of the Shredder’s demise, and the efforts she provided to the turtles—Casey Jones knew better than to trust someone who’s backstabbed you before. His father knew all too well, and he paid the price for it. He’d be damned if he watched another go through what he did. “You ain’t a martyr yourself. You caused your own hell, practically following the devil himself. Why not let this city burn or whatever the hell Bishop wants? Why not trap April and myself to get to the guys?”

 

“I cannot justify my actions, nor do I intend to.” Karai appeared somber, her gaze shifting to her feet. “If Leonardo had to harm innocent lives to save his family, would you question his motives? Yet, if Bishop believes purging this city will begin anew, it is not question to his madness. Perspectives, and persuasion, are powerful tools. Something my father mastered well, something even the rat knows too. If Leonardo told you this was a trap, you would attack me no doubt. But if he told you it was not, you would continue. Now, if I told you this indeed was part of my plan—you would trust in the threat, not me. Trust is difficult, yet it is what gets you killed. Your father knew that Mr. Jones, Leonardo knew this when he broke mine—truth, and faith, become blurred when it is the people you care most about.”

 

“We’re here.” April’s voice broke through, gesturing for Casey to pull over. “Better not stay too close, just in case.”

 

“Right.” Casey nodded. Turning the car off, he turned over to Karai. Lowering his voice to a whisper, “I don’t really care what you think and I won’t hesitate to knock you down if I have to.”

 

“Of course,” Karai swiftly replied as she stepped out of the car. Passing through the front of the car, she turned back to the couple still remaining. “We must hurry. I fear we do not have much time.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Casey shut the car door behind him. “And we’re supposed to waltz in with hundreds of security footage waiting?”

 

“My men have temporally halted the electricity and all footage until we are in Goldburg’s office. Unlike yourself, Mr. Jones, planning ahead for these things will minimize attention. Something you seem to enjoy.”

 

“Whatever. My way is more fun anyway.” Casey grumbled under his breath. Locking the car door, he reached into his duffle bag for his mask. He hesitated, looking from the mask back to April. He knew the risk she was taking sneaking into her office for the sake of the turtles. Rushing to her, he handed her his mask. “Here, take it. It’s your face they shouldn’t see anyway, just in case something happens.”

 

“I think scary-hockey-player isn’t really my thing. You do it better.” April smirked, handing it back to him. “Thank you, but I trust Karai on this- whatever little it is. Come on, we have to move.”

 

Rushing behind, Casey reluctantly pulled his mask on and caught up with Karai. “So, we just walk in his office and hope there just happens to be anything? Shouldn’t we be going straight for Bishop?”

 

“Bishop needed the technology from this facility, and Goldburg was funding money through his grants.” Karai swiftly walked through the entrance, heading towards the staircase. “Whatever he is planning for the city, Goldburg must have a name, address, somewhere.”

 

“Again,” Casey dully noted, jogging closely as they rushed up the stairs. “Convenient that you’ve been spending weeks with the psycho and you have **_no_** idea what he’s doing or where he’s been doing it. I don’t buy it. Since when did you start getting suspicious?”

 

“When he began interacting with Goldburg behind my back. I believed he knew I was allowing the turtles sanctuary, and knew better than to attack my own headquarters. Goldburg is unnerving to say the least. He was interested in my father’s investment in this serum—he too hoped for a ‘clean slate’ to say the least, to wipe all the memories of the victim to create loyal ‘servants’ to the cause. Of course, after Bishop’s extensive history—they hoped to create a super weapon, no humanity—just a vessel for their cause.”

 

“Figures, why torture people endlessly for information when you can just physically extract it or wipe it out form the person.” Casey cursed under his breath, struggling to catch it as he began jogging up the stairs. “Figures people like you would be into that kind of thing. Less blood on your hands, right?”

 

“Not exactly.” Karai kept her pace, looking over at the couple. “My men are honorable. They joined my clan to fight and respect a justice cause. Too many ninja lost their lives to a hopeless cause. I owe it to them, and their families, to earn back the respect they once had for this clan. Now, enough talk. We must keep moving!” 

/./././././././././././././././././././././ 

“Raph, come from around the back! Don’t let him see you!”

 

“Trying, Fearless!”

 

“Don, cut him off!”

 

“Working on it!”

 

Raphael felt the crisp fall air sting his pacing breaths as he slid town the fourth fire escape. His body pushing against time itself while his mind felt like it was running in circles. Every gut instinct was screaming at him to find and face Bishop. After what he had done to his brothers, Bishop was the only target he was set on hunting. Instead, he’s crouching behind an abandoned apartment complex fire escape waiting for Leo’s signal to grab Mikey. Above, he could see Leo jumping over to reach the rooftop.

 

“Stop!” Raphael could hear Leo’s voice over the howling winds, immediately beginning to make his way to the top of the roof. The closer he got, he could hear Donnie cry out, “It’s just us! We don’t want to hurt you!”

 

Peering his head over the corner, Raphael watched as Leonardo began approaching Mikey with Donnie cornering him on this right. If Mikey were trying to get away, he’d book it right to him. He had to be ready, prepared. But Raph found himself scoping the surrounding area. _If Mikey’s here, Bishop is nearby. He’s using Mikey, we can’t let him think he’s got the upper hand._ Clicking on his new earpiece, he whispered, “Leo, if Bishop’s around here. I can-.”

 

“I said no,” Leo said in almost a whisper, quick to raise his voice again. “Mikey, stop running. It’s us. Remember?”

 

Raphael could barely hear Donnie even through his earpiece. Softly, he could hear how hurt his younger brother was. “Mikey, let me help you. Come home, okay? We’ll just go home. Or the farmhouse, we don’t have to stay here-.”

 

“I **_can’t_**!” The sound of weapons clashing was his signal to begin moving. Waiting until he saw Mikey’s back completely turned, Raphael carefully pounced up behind him.

 

“Enough, already!” Raphael cried out, wrapping his arm around his neck. “Come on! Stop fighting!”

 

“Let go!” Mikey was fast enough to elbow Raph fast enough before kicking him off and running off in the other direction.

 

“Damn it!” Raph cursed, quickly recovering. Leo and Donnie caught up with him, giving him a short but irritated look. “He’s trying to keep this goose chase running!”

 

“Come on, we can’t lose him!” Leo barked, already running over to the next rooftop. 

/./././././././././././././././././././ 

_Mikey has no problem showing what he was feeling. Happy, sad, energized, tried, hungry—Anything that had a facial and vocalized reaction, he had it. He showed it, with no shame. I respected that about him. The ability to just expresses yourself in your own way. Something we all kind of struggled with._

_Training taught us to remain vigilant, still like the waters—unmoved, flowing through. I remember Splinter once telling us that_

_I can’t remember the last time I ever saw Leo cry. I’ve seen tears swell up when he broke his ankle when we began training as kids. I remember seeing his eyes gloss over when Raphael was really sick. He has this look, a somber way of letting himself lock away his own pain. And for him, that was enough. Maybe he was too busy comforting Mikey from his nightmares, or me from blaming myself for making a mistake. Or being hardened enough for Raphael to take him more seriously. Leo was always closest with Splinter, maybe confiding in him gave him enough support. But, not usually from us. Or in front of us, for that matter._

_Me? It was usually the toaster that did it for me. I was easily frustrated as a kid, and quickly locked it off to myself. I just wanted to grab anything that I didn’t know and understand why, figure out what makes it tick. Where did it come form? What can I learn from it? I worked myself hard enough to the point when I’d get so overwhelmed I’d end up just grunting at the walls and working myself up to the point of anxiety and migraines. Luckily, for me, everyone knew when I was almost reaching that point._

_Raphael would dunk me in sewer water before admitting he got teary-ended during “The Fox and the Hound”, throwing popcorn at the screen and yelling about how terrible the old “hag” was for abandoning the fox. Luckily Mikey fell asleep during the movie and Leo didn’t notice, leaving me to be the one with the actual threat of being dunked if I ever repeated what I saw to the others._

_It wasn’t a second thought for Mikey to just let out whatever he was feeling. Which made it strange after his return from keeping his title as Battle Nexus Champion. I expected cheers, shouts, gloating to the point of irritation, enthusiasm—anything but the silence as he retreated to his room for the rest of the day. At the time, we didn’t pick up on it at first. Leo was still struggling through his own demons, Raph needed his space, and I just wanted a breather away from all the chaos that surely finds it’s way to us._

_So we did our own separate thing. Something Leo got really good at the time. I didn’t blame him, neither did Mikey—I had a glimpse at the weight he carries. I just wish I could have done better to support him through it. Raph went topside with Casey, he too was growing more frustrated with Leo’s new demeanor._

_Leaving me to pick up whatever pieces I could. Mikey was always the easiest to start with, I figured I’d get the ball rolling. Mike was in his usual spot in his room—curled up on his bean-bag chair with one of his comics. He didn’t pay much attention to my entrance, keeping his eyes glued to the pages. I noticed his medal was tucked away under a pile of comics. Ever since his trophy was destroyed from Karai’s invasion, I figured that would earn it’s place right above the T.V. Why would he burry it away? I let it go, assuming he probably just tossed it aside to read. But he didn’t have much of a reaction to me anyway._

_“Hey!” I perked, sitting at the edge of his bed. “What are you doing in here? I figured you’d be pumped to make your noodle-spectacular to celebrate or your specialty pizza! April picked up the stuff and everything.”_

_“Not really feeling a celebration, bro.” Mikey turned a page of his comic. Shrugging, his voice dropped low. “Leftovers are fine.”_

_Mikey’s guilt trips usually got me, but I figured I’d take a spin at it to get him to talk. “But, April just bought all the ingredients for you! Casey and Leatherhead were going to come too- you wouldn’t dare subject them to Chinese leftovers!”_

_“Then just do pizza, okay? I thought you were supposed to be fixing the shell-cycle before Raph freaks.” Mikey’s short, not-so-sweet, answers were alarming enough. When Mikey’s hung around Raph too much as a kid to pick up some of his habits—especially when he’s upset. Although neither would admit it._

_“Okay,” Snatching the comic from his hand definitely got his attention. Using my slight height advantage, I raised it high. “Stop dismissing me. What’s going on?”_

_“Really, D?” Mikey huffed, jumping up from his chair he held out his hand. “Not cool. Can I have it back now?”_

_“Not until you tell me why you’ve been isolating yourself since we came home.” Tilting my head over to his pile of comics, I gestured to the medal. “Or why you’re hiding that—it’s like super old, by the way. It’ll do no good there. You don’t want to hang it?”_

_“No.” Mikey’s demeanor dropped, finally giving up on the chase and settling back down in his chair._

_“Why not?”_

_“You guys were right…It doesn’t really mean anything. It’s stupid, and I shouldn’t have been rubbing it in your faces. It’s nothing to brag about, really. Plus, that totally gave me some mega bad karma so…Yeah.”_

_“Okay, I’m not gonna lie, maybe the first time was a little much.” I shrugged, sitting next to him. “But you earned it this time. You won on your own, even with all the odds against you. I think that’s pretty cool.”_

_“It wasn’t like that,” Mikey shook his head, quick to shut me down. His eyes glued to the floor. “I wasn’t thinking about winning. I wanted to stop him before…Like, I tried really hard but he was just too strong. Something snapped, right before he was about to finish me off. I had to do something before…”_

_“Before?” I pushed, hoping he’d spill. “Before what?”_

_“He was going to kill you guys.” The air felt thin, as his face fell. “That’s what he told me. Once he got rid of me, he was going to go after you guys. I couldn’t let that happen, I wouldn’t allow him to. I figured at first, well if I’m still kicking he’d have to get through me first, right? And then just like that- Bam. I felt like Captain America when he found out Bucky was still alive. Something just snapped, and all I can think about was how I couldn’t let him get near you guys. Not because of me.”_

_“And you didn’t,” I reminded him, lightly elbowing him. “You won, remember? Not because of dumb luck, or fate. You had it in you the whole time, and when it came down to it—you did the right thing. You had the choice to end it your way, and you let him live.”_

_“I was scared, though.” Mikey admitted, shrugging from embarrassment. “I knew I was done for. But that didn’t matter, I really didn’t care. But the thought of him coming after you guys, that’s what, did it. It wasn’t noble, or anything like that. It just….was. I kind of get why Leo’s been really low lately…I didn’t really think about it from his side, until now. Maybe that’s why he helped me, because he knew what it was like facing against someone stronger than you…”_

_“But you had something Kluh didn’t. Something to fight for.”_

_“Yeah….” Suddenly he busted out into laughter. I was taken back at first, immediately wondering if I said something wrong. He smiled at me, “Geez, D. You’re mega sappy right now.”_

_“What? Me?” I couldn’t help but laugh with him. There was no meaning, no purpose for besides for being the sake of the present. We laughed forever, a feeling we haven’t really had at home for a while. I got back up on my feet, reaching for the medallion. “Come on, shell-for-brains. Let’s put this back over the T.V.”_

_“Hey, Donnie?” Mikey waited until he had my attention to continue, “Thank you. For believing in me. Even though you, Raph, and Sensei totally ditched me and don’t think I didn’t see you and Raph laugh when I got those first few hits in!”_

_“Oh come on!” I wrapped my arm around his neck, “How was I supposed to know Kluh sabotaged the area?”_

_We continued our banter for the rest of night, eventually ending over a competitive game of Mario Kart. It was one of the only nights the four of us were laughing and smiling in a room together. Even Leo, who still sat in the corner, chuckled a few times during our commentary. It was just a small breath of fresh air during the toughest times._

_It’s the moments like these that I put my faith in._

_I just hope it’s enough._

/././././././././././././././././././././ 

_It was my job, even then, to make sure everything was going according to plan. Even if it wasn’t my order, or my responsibility—it always is. All the regrets and doubts clouded my mind. It was Donnie’s desperate look that brought me back as he clenched the broken board in his arms._

_“Guys?” Donnie called, quickly running toward us. “Mikey’s not in his room! I-I think he must have ran off or something! We have to get him back!”_

_“There’s a storm tonight,” Splinter said-as-matter-of-factly, worry flooding his voice. “If Michelangelo wanders too far he could accidently end up outside of the safe zones. He must be home before it gets worse.”_

_“Then what are we waiting for?!” Raphael impatiently exclaimed, already running out the door._

_“Wait!” Donnie called out to him, holding onto the board as he reached for his backpack. “Raph, take a flashlight! I-I should get the map we made-!” His voice faded as he followed swiftly behind._

_“Leonardo,” Splinter’s firm grip caught my shoulder. His voice was gentle, as he knelt down in front of me. He looked guilty for a moment, almost unsure. “Sometimes our focus is so narrow, we forget the world around us. Do not lose sight of your surroundings, regardless how badly you want to believe you are right, and true.”_

_“Leo! We have to go!” Raph’s voice snapped be back to reality. “Now!”_

_“I know! Sensei-!” I pulled from his grasp, feeling every ounce of anxiety pound in my chest. “I-I gotta go!”_

_“I know. Be safe, my sons.” Sensei sighed, watching as I ran off to join the others. I looked back one last time, watching as remained still._

_I never understood why he had to stop me right then, knowing Mikey could possibly be wandering into danger. Was he trying to clear my head?_

_It didn’t matter then, but maybe he was trying to tell me something after all..._  

/./././././././././././././././././././././ 

Splinter regained enough strength, struggling to steady his stance. His mind, and heart, still weighed him from the experience that weakened him. Gripping his staff tightly, he shook past his dizzy gaze. Reaching across the table for his shell-cell he quickly pushed the dial to reach Leonardo.

 

His head grew light again. Splinter clutched the nearest chair, collapsing into it. Allowing the dial tone to drown out his heaviness within him. Splinter cursed himself for not staying another moment longer. He understood the risk of staying any longer, but that didn’t silence his sorrow as he waited for seemed like decades for any sign of hope.

 

“Sensei?!” Leonardo’s voice shook Splinter back into reality. Leonardo’s voice shouted over the winds, “Are you okay? What-?”

 

“My son,” Splinter gasped, fighting through the wave of dizziness. Taking a shaky breath, Splinter forced himself to remain composed. “Leonardo, the more Michelangelo resists you the worse Bishop inflicts him pain. You must find a way to subdue him without getting yourself or your brothers hurt.”

 

“Got it!”

 

Splinter heard the line cut off, leaving him with nothing but a prayer and hope for the safety of his family.

/././././././././././././././././././././././ 

Once he was close enough, he quickly tackled his youngest brother to the ground. Using his metallic limb, he quickly pinned his hand down. “Mikey! Let me help you!”

 

“Get off!” Mikey resisted, kicking Leo square in the jaw. As Leo stumbled back, Mikey reached for his katana. Jumping back onto his feet, he immediately went on the defense as Donnie attacked.

 

“Leo!” Raphael quickly stepped over to Leo, helping him back on his feet as Donnie continued to approach Mikey. “What did-?”

 

“We can’t hurt him. Splinter said Bishop is somehow manipulating him somehow.” Leo quickly responded, watching Donnie block one of Mikey’s attacks. “Maybe he manipulated the suit. We got to get that helmet off of him.”

 

“I don’t think he’ll fall again for another sneak attack, Leo. We got to find Bishop! He’s the one whose-!”

 

“I know- Mikey,” Leo softly spoke, his katana still gripped in one hand while holding up his other. “I know Bishop is making you do this to us. We want to help you, but you have to stop **_resisting_** us. Don’t make me hurt you to stop you.”

 

“You can’t.” 

/./././././././././././././././././././././ 

April lead the group, armed with Donnie’s flashlight, down the dull hallway. “His office is at the end of the hall. With the power out we should be able to-.” Ajar, the door to Goldburg’s office revealed complete chaos. Paperwork scattered all over the room, chairs and tables flipped over. “Someone got here before we did-?”

 

“Or someone was trying to leave, quick.” Casey noted, arming himself he gently pushed April aside to step in the room first. “Again with the convenience, but it a look like his laptop is still—oh shit. Shit. April, stay back.”

 

April gasped, finding the deceased body of Dr. Goldburg lying beside his office desk. April looked away, hanging her head. “Oh my—D-Do you think Bishop came here first?”

 

“Possibly, but you see.” Karai felt no reaction as she knelt beside the body, carefully examining it. “Strangled. Given the distinctive markings, it seems our dear Hun arrived here first. At least 24 hours.”

 

“Hun?” Casey hissed, “Thought the dragons were backing out of this operation.”

 

“As did I…Quick,” Handing a pair of black gloves to April, she returned to her side. “Put these on. Don’t want fingerprints left behind on this. There must be something left behind.”

 

April nodded, quickly typing frantically. “Right. Just give me a minute.”

 

“Looks like Bishop didn’t want any lose ends.” Casey noted, looking back over to Karai. “So, what does that make you?”

 

“We shall see, won’t we?” Karai crossed her arms.

 

“I’m in! It looks like he’s been keeping track of his work with Bishop. It was approved, and everything. Most likely why Bishop had him eliminated. Everything’s still in the hard drive—the creation of the serum, reports of previous test subjects, tracking the turtles. Goldburg had it all here. It looks like they’re trying to change the serum into a toxin—like a gas to release. Wait, what are these?” April mused as she began opening files, “Coordinates? These are major city areas…Are these…bombs?”

 

“Not explosive,” Karai shook her head, pointing at the bottom of the screen. “Toxin. Nerve toxins. It appears Bishop graduated from sedatives to viral infections.”

 

“Wait, this is Raph’s suit.” April panicked, quickly skimming through the report. “Oh my god. It’s not just a suit—it’s a bomb. It has-!”

 

“I don’t get it! What’s this mean-?” Casey frantically exclaimed, “You can’t mean-!”

 

“Michelangelo is not just luring the turtles,” Karai’s eyes widened, “ ** _he_** is the trap. If they break that suit open or try to take him out of it-.”

 

April gasped, taking a step back away from the screen. “Oh my god, if they do enough damage to it, it’ll be released into the air—infecting anyone and everyone near them. Including the guys!”

 

“And Bishop can do it in a touch of a button.” Karai dully noted, looking back over at April. “We may be too late…”

 

“No, no, **_no_**.” Casey was already shaking as he began dialing Leo on his shell-cell. “Pick **_up_** the damn phone, Leo! Come **_on_**! Fuck! Come on, somebody answer their phone!”

/./././././././././././././././././././././ 

_“Pick up the katana and attack. Now.”_

 

Michelangelo found himself trembling as he carefully picked up Leonardo’s katana and holding it outward. He found himself counting his blessings for having his brothers unable to see his reactions. Faking it until you make it, that’s what Donnie used to say when he would patch up Raphael as a kid. Maybe that could be enough to make it through. Mikey helplessly watched as Raphael helped Donnie back on his feet, Leo immediately stepping in front of them—as he should. His mind frantically racing as he began to slowly back away from his family, quickly looking back to find himself already at the edge of the building.

 

_“Attack Leonardo. Now. If you disobey me, your family will suffer from your hand.”_

“Nowhere else to run, Mikey.” Mikey felt the sting of hurt in Leo’s voice. Quickly it was that of intimidation. “You want a fight? Fine. Leave my family out of it, okay? Bishop’s making you play games, then you’re playing in my court. You and me, one on one. You win, you do whatever you want. If I win, I’ll take Mikey’s place. Does that work—Bishop?”

 

_“Hm. Predicable, yet honorable. Honorable, indeed.”_

“You’ve done enough to him! I will not hurt him.” Leonardo shouted, quickly scanning the area before locking his eyes back with the empty mask. Throwing his single katana on the ground, he kicked it over to Mikey. “I know you’re fighting this, Michelangelo. You hesitated when you could have hurt Donnie, you have yet to go after me now. You want to come after me, then do it. But I will not let you use my brother against me!”

 

_“No. They must strike you! **Make** them fight you!” _

_“My son, trust in yourself. Trust in your family. They will understand, let them help!”_

“I trust you,” Mikey spoke, barely in a whisper. He was tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally. He wanted it to end. If it means putting trust in his own family to do it for him, then so be it. Like waking up from a deep slumber, he slowly felt himself become more energized. More alive—more ** _himself_**. “I-I won’t hurt my family, Bishop.” Like ripping a Band-Aid, before the electrical current could shock him. He reached to take off the helmet.

 

And it was in that very moment that his very being was stolen.

/././././././././././././././././././././././././ 

Raphael steadily helped Donnie back on his feet, watching Leo cautiously step forward. “Any ideas, Donnie?”

 

“I think-.” Donatello felt his shell-cell vibrate; he hesitantly reached into his duffle bag and flipped it open. Whispering, “Casey?”

 

“Don! Mike’s suit contains the toxin! B-Bishop is trying to infect you guys! **_Don’t_** damage the-!” The line suddenly cut off.

 

“MIKEY!” Donnie desperately cried, pushing out of Raphael’s grip. “ ** _Don’t_** take that off-!”

 

Static echoed into the phone line, then immediately to their earpieces. A dull, monotone voice eerily spoke. “A cage went in search of a bird. But now the bird is gone. The bird has changed (1).”

 

And in that moment everything clicked in Donnie’s mind. The distraction, the purpose of the Nightwatcher’s suit, Bishop’s plans—Bishop got what he wanted. Mikey was the trap. Donnie jumped out of Raph’s grasp as he began bolting toward his brothers, desperately shouting, “Leo! MOVE! The suit has toxin! We can’t be near-!”

 

Right as he cried out, a flash zoomed past him and Raphael and narrowly passing through Leo. The flash ended right into the Nightwatcher’s chest plate. A long arrow stuck right in the center of the plate, appearing to be heavily metallic and armed. Bulletproof, Donnie mentally praised Raphael for thinking of it. Mikey, miraculously, appeared to somehow stand his ground as he desperately gripped the arrow to remove it. Suddenly the arrow began electrocuting the entire suit, creating small cracks around the armor.

 

“ ** _Mikey_** -!” Leo instinctively stepped forward. Don quickly tackled Leo, beginning to pull him away. “Don! What are you-?!”

 

“It has a toxic gas- you’ll get infected!” Donnie pleaded, struggling to keep Leo back. Quickly looking over at Raphael, he remained frozen in place. His eyes widened with panic, desperately looking over at them for what to do.

 

Everything was moving too fast for him. Mikey’s screams made Leo fight harder, Raphael snapping back into reality, and Donnie desperately trying to keep his family together.

 

“I **_won’t_** let you!” Donnie watched in horror as his little brother somehow managed to remove the mask off his head, and with it threw himself off the building—straight into the river.

/./././././././././././././././././././././

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote by Franz Kafka


	22. Chapter 22 // "Torn"

/./././././././././././././././././././././

“I **_won’t_** let you!”

 

This was the part where the superhero would make the ultimate sacrifice in order to save those he loved. Michelangelo hated clichés, but he began to understand the irony of it all. His brothers, falling right into Bishop’s hands—because of the choices he made. The ‘what ifs’ didn’t have the time, or importance, to flood his mind. If he was going to fight through the pain, he would be damned if he brought his family down with them. “I’m sorry,” He choked back, more so to his family than for himself as he allowed himself off the building.

 

Although, Mikey considering himself pretty lucky at times. Many of the times, the odds were in his favor—even with their luck. When a throwing star would just miss him, or the day he thought he’d sneak some of Raph’s leftovers and not be met with a slap across his head. Mikey always believed in fate, a strange magical way that allowed him to get away with almost anything.

 

That feeling wasn’t with him when he allowed himself to fall back from the building. Luckily, his body wasn’t protesting either. He couldn’t look ahead, he couldn’t dare watch his brothers desperately following. He hung his head back, the electrical current from his suit still reacting. Air began to seep through the cracks of the suit as he struggled to gasp for air. Watching the black sky while the echoes of his family began to slowly drown out.

 

_“The toxic gas- you’ll get infected!”_

Tight, suffocating—he desperately reached for his throat with little success. Well, Mikey mentally shrugged, if Donnie can get through a second mutation he sure could. But wishful thinking didn’t stop the pulsing numbness that froze his body stiff.

 

“ ** _Leo_**!” Was the final cry he heard as reality gracefully plummeted. His body finally collided with the icy water. For a moment it felt like a relief that was until he tried to breath again. He couldn’t move, Mikey knew the suit was weighing him down. Finally, fight or flight kicked in—in Michelangelo’s case, it was panic.

 

The pure physical panic that Splinter taught them all to fight through was slipping. He was sinking deeper. If only he could just get one arm up closer enough to remove the rest of the mask. His eyes opened for a moment, catching a quick silhouette rushing closer to him. Was something grabbing his arm? Did the sinking stop? Reality wasn’t being so helpful anymore as his body finally began to shut down.

 

And that was the moment that’s when Michelangelo felt himself to blissfully fall into the darkness…

 /././././././././././././././././././././././././././

The scariest things in life were those that you could never control. Knowing no matter how hard you fight, everything can slip away from you in a heartbeat. And it was happening right in front of his eyes.

 

Donatello froze. As if time had just stopped around him, everything slowly seemed to let go. His job to act when no one did, to think fast before the inevitable—was slowly slipping away.

 

“ ** _Leo_**!” It was Raphael’s frantic cry that shook Donnie from his foggy gaze. His heart leap when he realized Leo was no longer in his grasp, but dashing across the building. In a few short steps, Donnie helplessly watched as Leo jumped right off the building.

 

Raphael wasn’t far behind, fighting vigorously to follow Leonardo. But he simply shuffled back as he watched him jump straight into the river, leaning over the edge and shooting a desperate look back at Donatello. “We have to get down there! **_Now_**!”

 

Donnie was quick on his feet, rushing over to where Mikey was standing. Reaching for his goggles he quickly scanned the area, that arrow had to be shot nearby and if there were any more…

 

“They’re not coming up!” Raphael panicked, practically hanging off the building as he desperately looked down in the river. “Don, they should be coming up! Why aren’t they coming up? I don’t see them!”

 

Cursing under his breath, Don’s eyes widened as his scanners locked on a signature not far from their location. Bishop, he was certain. But he wasn’t moving, not even a hint of acknowledgement of their presence. _What is he waiting for?_

“ ** _Don_**!” Raphael desperately cried, tightly grabbing his arm and pulling him close hoping to grab his attention.

 

Donnie’s head didn’t shift, his eyes locking on his target. Standing high above a nearby building, he still holding what looked to be a bow-gun. His dark sunglasses shadowing his gaze, appearing only to be watching in the water—most likely looking for Leo and Mikey. He hissed, “Bishop. He’s here. Watching.”

 

“What? Don, we’ll deal with that **_later_**!” Raphael hissed, frantically returning to the edge hanging his head over. “Wait- There’s Leo! I don’t see Mikey!”

 

That caught Don’s attention. Allowing himself to look back down at the river. It was Leo who popped his head out for a moment, panting before taking another breath before plunging back down. Don felt his stomach sink, he was right behind Mikey. With his metallic limb he should have been able to pick him up with no-.

 

“His hand.” Don gasped, “Mikey may still have electric current running through your suit, it must be shocking Leo as well if he grabs him!”

 

Raphael growled in frustration. “Then what the **_hell_** are we waiting for? We gotta get down there! Follow me!”

 

“Not so fast.”

 

Don’s gut instinct kicked in. Something was coming. He was quick to turn his head to find an arrow heading straight for him—no, speeding to Raph. Don stepped in front of Raphael, catching the arrow with the end of his bo. The speed of it sent him a step back, bumping into Raph. Shooting his head up, Bishop was casually approaching the two.

“ ** _You_**.” Raphael was armed and ready, feeling his blood boil as he squeezed the ends of his sai. Donnie reached his other arm out to stop Raph from charging right at him. Not giving much of a fight, he retreated and remained firm by Don’s side.

 

“I must say, Raphael, I doubted your abilities to create such impressive armor. No matter, the toxin inside the helmet would have suffocated and infected him by now. I do hope your brothers learn to finally stay down, I am growing tired of them kicking back up again. Although,” Bishop chuckled darkly, “It was so much fun. My, my, I wonder how you two would do.”

 

“Where are the other bombs?” Don demanded. His mind already beginning to calculate, preparing for anything for Bishop to throw at them. He couldn’t think, or doubt. He had to trust, and he’d be damned if he would let him win.

 

“Ah, I see your friends have done their homework. It won’t matter soon enough.” Bishop smugly commented, twilling his sword around. “I gave your brother a chance to allow you all in my new world. I see he choose the latter, pity. No matter, perhaps you two can still be of use to me. I can always use new subjects.”

 

“Like hell, dipshit.” Raphael spat, defensively stepping in front of Don. “Where are they?”

 

“You know, I’m feeling generous this evening.” Bishop smiled, eerily. “I will make you a deal. You see”, Bishop reached into his pocket, pulling out a small white bottle. “The nerve toxins will kill within ten minutes, but I have the antidote. Your brother has, let’s say, about five minutes left to live? I will give you this, and allow you to give it to him. But, you must take it from me first.”

 

It could be a bluff, Donnie thought, anything could. But he hasn’t lied so far about Mikey’s condition. He fought the urge to return to the edge in hopes of finding his brothers safe onshore. But Raphael was quick to fight back. “Fuck your deal. I’m sick of this game. Where are the bombs?”

 

“It ends. Now.” Bishop wielded his blade forward as he headed straight for Donatello. A swift kick sent Don’s bo flying out of his hand, met with a fist straight into his already bruised eye sending him flying back. His vision blurred for a moment as he stumbled to the ground. Struggling back on his feet, he could make out the shimmer of the blade about to strike him down. Don sidestepped, back flipping over the swipe of the blade. Raphael was not far behind, going for a personal approach. Tackling Bishop from behind, he wrapped his arm around his neck, impaling his side with his sai. Bishop hissed, quickly to break free from Raphael’s grasp. Twisting Raph’s arm enough for him to cry out and send him flying.

 

Bishop wasn’t returning for either. Donnie used the opportunity to rush to Raph’s side, assisting him back on his feet. Bishop was walking towards the end of the building, simply watching over the edge. Keeping his sword in one hand, he reached into his trench coat to pull out a bow-gun. He arched it high over the edge. “NO!”

 

“Stay the **_hell_** away from them!” Raphael roared, blindly dashing forward right to Bishop.

 

“ ** _Raph_**!” Donnie howled. Raphael was quick to dodge before Bishop’s blade could slice his side, quick stepping around him. The two continued to spar, until Donnie was able to get back on his feet., leaping back on his feet as he jumped back. But Bishop was already advancing on Raph, enough so that he was able to kick him straight into the concrete ground. Pinning him to the ground, Don watched as Bishop’s blade barely missed Raph’s neck—instead, piercing through his shoulder.

 

Suddenly a blade whisked past him, soaring right into the back of Bishop’s neck. Donnie turned around, hoping it was Leonardo. Instead, it was foot ninja. “Well played…” He coughed up blood, which he was quick to brush away. “It seems the bitch does have a heart after all.”

 

Donnie froze for a moment, unsure of their intentions. Suddenly they rushed right past him, attacking Bishop. He was quick to knock them on their backs, but not without repercussion. He was showing off multiple cuts, and stab wounds. Seizing the opportunity, he grabbed Raphael’s fallen sai and attacked from behind. Pulling him as far away from his brother as he could, he pinned him down to the ground.

 

“It’s over.” Donatello whispered, gripping Raphael’s sai dangerously pressed against Bishop’s neck. He only chuckled, his eye glaring through his broken sunglasses.

 

“You’re right. It is over. Your brothers are probably dead, and you lost. Ah, Donatello. You and I are more alike than you think,” Bishop mused, remaining completely still as his eyes locked onto his. “Our minds are a blessing, and a curse you see. We’re allowed to see the world in a way others cannot, a way your brothers can’t. We believe in facts, the truth. Something your ‘morality’ can’t make clear. You see, I know you won’t kill me. You can’t kill a **_god_**. Your brothers couldn’t do it, and neither will you. And I will be your demise. I will make your family wish for death.”

 

“Like hell you will.” Donnie gripped Raphael’s sai tightly as he plunged it deep into Bishop’s chest.

 

“I will not fall, not to you. Not to anyone. You fool! No, I will **_transcend_**.” His eyes never closed as he grew still, and the air was silent.

/./././././././././././././././././././././././././ 

Splinter learned early on that loving his children would never be enough. As much as he wanted to wrap his arms around his sons and protect them, he knew all too well what lied above. In a world that was so unforgiving, filled with fear—a world he didn’t want to subject his children to. Splinter knew he had to teach them how to live, to survive—to protect each other in helping create a better and safer world.

 

As his each grew older and learned more about the world above, Splinter knew they would each grow and become their own person. And so that love would look different, but never change the amount he cared for each of them. Or so he told himself.

 

Leonardo, practically born into the role of leader. Raphael, a fierce soul with a fiery passion for justice. Donatello, a mind so brilliant with a heart as just as immense. Michelangelo, a light filled with hope and potential for greatness.

 

But it wasn’t enough to simply love his sons. Love didn’t bring Leonardo home. Love didn’t stop Raphael from falling deeper into his own grief. Love didn’t relieve Donatello from the concerns of their family. Love didn’t reassure Michelangelo.

 

Nor would it spare his family from pain, hurt, and loss.

 

Splinter knew there was only so much he could do at his age, his body painfully reminding him of the fact. He knew if he tried to reach his youngest again, his physical self would not be able to handle it again. Perhaps, he prayed, a final spiritual connection can return his son home. One final hope that could lead his son away from the night… 

/./././././././././././././././././././././././././ 

_…So dark that I couldn’t even see my own hands in front of me! No amount of growing up, and endless supply of nightlights could change my mind otherwise that the dark was creepy. I don’t know how I ended up here, but suddenly everything felt bigger around me. I was a little kid all over again, and I’ve been stuck in this nightmare. And Splinter was waiting, knelt in the dojo. He looked old, and tired. I don’t want to keep him waiting._

_Man, everything still hurt so bad. I didn’t want to think, I pushed myself to run right into him. Wrapping my arms around him, I put all that weight on him. He’d make it go away, I can’t carry it anymore._

_“My son,” He sounded so sad, allowing my embrace to continue. “What frightens you so?”_

_“A nightmare.” Choking back tears—ninja don’t cry, Raph says—I burry my face. “It’s so dark, Sensei. I’m so lost. I just want it to stop. It won’t stop.”_

_Cue Splinter’s words of wisdom of the week…_

_“My son, perhaps you are convincing yourself that you are afraid of the dark solely for the purpose of giving in.” Splinter soothed, he always had a way to make me feel calmer even when what he was saying was kind of harsh. “You are ninja, darkness is a friend- not a foe. You are a force stronger than any darkness. You can blend in with it, use it to your advantage- and when you find it flooding you- you release yourself from it.”_

_“Sensei?” I smiled weakly, lost enough in his words. “Can’t I get a new nightlight? Or put Leo on monster-checking-duty?”_

_He chuckled as he scooped me up in his arms. “I too used to be afraid of the darkness. But, not so in the same as you. Do you remember when Leonardo and Raphael were playing in the sewers, alone? And they faced that terrible crocodile? I was not there to protect them, and I did not know where they were. The darkness is unknown—that is why many are curious about it. You see, darkness is an ally to the ninja. Darkness is a source of power for the corrupted, using it to toy with its victims. Darkness can also be a place of peace, for those who find comfort in it. It is the trust you have in yourself, others, and the world around you that can change how you handle it. You see, Michelangelo- there are no monsters hiding in your closet, no matter what Raphael tells you. But, if you believe they are real—and that they are stronger than you—then it will conquer. You are not weak, my son, and life will work at you to try and make you think you are. But, you must not believe it. As terrible and cruel the reality may be, there is always hope. You have a family here that loves you, and a world who needs you to make it a better place. You must rise above it. Get up, my son. You must.”_

_I didn’t want to let go. I wanted to stay, it was warm and safe. “I don’t want to. I want to stay here. I’m tired, dad…”_

_“I know, my son. I am too. I cannot stay here with you for much longer. You are strong, and you are loved. Come home, my son.”_

“—No! Don’t do this to me!”

_“I don’t know how,” I admit, keeping my eyes closed. I feel so much lighter, all the pain is starting to go away. “I can’t go home, I screwed everything up. Leo—I hurt him really bad, and it’s all my fault. He’s hurt forever now. Don, Raph—everyone almost died because of me. I couldn’t stop it.”_

_“I believe you can. And you did.” Splinter sat me up against him, lifting my hand up. I was holding something? I couldn’t remember. Unfolding it, I found a small flash drive. I remembered, I grabbed it out of Bishop while he was interrogating me. He didn’t see it. I didn’t think much of it, I just hoped it’d get back to Don._

_“Mikey!”_

_Suddenly, a light turned on at the end of the hallway. I was drawn to it, someone must be up. That’s probably who’s calling me. Maybe one of my brothers needs me for something, I felt like I should go. I can’t leave them waiting, after all. Splinter gave me a final hug. “Be brave, my son.”_

“Please! Wake **_up_**!”

_A bright light flashed in front of me as I gasped for air._

/././././././././././././././././././././././ 

Karai knew from her training at an early age that allies are useful only in the sake of battle, anything further than that could become problematic. Even in the heat of battle, you always watch your own back. But, overtime she began to see things in a different light. She blamed Leonardo. But, as Karai watched the couple frantically panic, she had her priorities.

 

She found herself opening her phone, plugging it into the laptop. If she could take the information for herself, perhaps someone at headquarters could locate the locations. Her mind wandered for a moment to her father, a man she thought she could rely on. There was no surprise in her mind with his involvement. But without telling her? Her father trusted her, that was no question. But were his motives? Karai knew those answers would never come. And yet, she finds herself wondering if she would discover them…

 

“Damn it!” Casey huffed, rejoining April by her side. “They’re not answering. The line’s dead. I hope Don heard me in time…”

 

“He did.” April’s voice shook. “He had to. There’s four bombs each at different ends of the city, we’re close to one but we’d have to leave now before they’re detonated. There’s no time or anything, we’d be making a risk. Casey, call Leatherhead he can probably get the one-!” Her attention went back to Karai. Her eyes widened as she watched Karai plug in her phone, beginning to delete files off of the computer screen. “Wait- What are you doing? We still have to The police will know the files have been-!”

 

“They won’t once I destroy it. No one should have this information that can be accessible.”

 

“Oh, and you can?” Rolling his eyes, Casey scoffed under his breath, “Figures you’d want all the dirty details to yourself.”

 

“It is not for me. If possible, I can use Goldburg’s information. If I could find a way to cross-reference Bishop’s database with the information on here, we can find a way to stop it. Or contain it, if they already detonate. Or you can find Hun and ask him yourselves.”

 

“Right. And how’s **_that_** going to make things any better?” Casey retorted. He may not be a technical guy, but he considered himself a sort of realist. “He probably has the detonation on him, for all we know they’re already going off! And we’re supposed to believe that all that time you spent with him you knew **_nothing_** about this, cause I don’t buy it, sweetheart.”

 

“Casey, please call Leatherhead.” April fought to straight her own voice, but she already felt like she was drowning. Toxins in the city, no word from Donnie or anyone, Karai supposedly on their side—what could she trust?

 

“Okay, okay!” Casey dismissed, quickly flipping his phone as he searched for his contact. Casey cursed, kicking a nearby chair. “Fucking service. Don’t tell me he cut that off too, son-of-a-bitch!”

 

Karai paused for a moment, contemplating her own thoughts. Her attention shifted to her phone screen as she watched the download. “Believe what you want. My time with Bishop was brief, at best. He shared with me the testing he was doing, in particular with Michelangelo. My request for a cure was being ‘supposedly’ executed, not too much attention was on it but enough for my men to use the work to complete the rest on their own. I found Akio already killed. I thought being there would make a difference, and he was held captive the whole time. Unnecessary, and at the end he was tossed aside. He was my closest ally…and friend. That was when I snuck past security and cured Michelangelo, as well. After that, Bishop cut his staff in half—Goldburg did not show, Hun on occasion with his men. I believe Bishop knew about my position at that point. By that time, he disappeared. Thus, here we are. Picking up his trail…”

 

Casey didn’t want to buy her ‘act’, but he found himself questioning it. Maybe she was as much of a human as Leo believed her to be. _Or maybe not._ “Whatever. Staying here is useless. Just get those coordinates and I’ll try texting Leatherhead. Let’s just get there and try to reach the guys outside.”

 

A phone starting ringing, immediately catching Karai’s attention as she unplugged the phone and quickly answered. A deep voice was on the other end, “Mistress, status?”

 

“Bishop set up bombs around the city—there isn’t much time, I will need-.”

 

“Mistress, Bishop is engaging the turtles. Two have fallen off the building, but the red and purple ones remain. Bishop is engaging with them. Your orders?”

 

Karai hesitated. And in that moment she thought of Leonardo. Her father would have made her regret even thinking this way. Was it enough to gamble for the sake of the city? She laughed to herself, mentally, finding herself stuck in a situation she never thought she could be in. Bishop was a manipulator, there was no doubt. Has Bishop’s grudge turned into madness just as her father’s? Was that enough to risk a city—innocent lives—for this?

 

_His eyes are soft. He was vulnerable, shoulders relaxed. She watched his gaze meet hers, and it was real, genuine. “You must swear it, that no matter what happens to me…My family is safe. If it comes down to leaving me behind to save my brothers do it. I…I know you’ll do the right thing, when the time comes. If there is one last favor you do for me, it will be that.”_

_Damn you._

 

“Assist them. We need them to stop Bishop.”

 

“Understood.”

 

“What’s going on?” Casey demanded.

 

“I believe,” Karai unplugged her phone, stabbing her blade through the computer. “the turtles need assistance. We must hurry.”

/././././././././././././././././././././././ 

_I used to think we were different. That each of us had something about us that made us stand out, something that made us special. The good, the bad, and the in-between—it mattered. And I wouldn’t change that._

_Leo was the born leader, Donnie was the creator, and Mikey was the light. It clicked. It made sense. Even though Splinter raised us all, we each became something else. Something unique, something we at some point wish we could be. There were many days I wish I could be as focused and determined as Fearless, and be exactly that. Even when the tensions rise, or even the stakes, he never lost sight. Other days, I wish I could be as patient and wise as Donnie. As the older brother, it was supposed to be me—and I’m happy it’s Donnie. Don always had a way of just getting it, and not just with the technical stuff. But about everything, and everyone. And Mikey just knows how to make everything better. Even when it’s so bad, Mikey just had a way to make you smile and laugh even for a moment. As chaotic as he could be, it brought peace to the lives we live every day._

_It was never a question when Leo became leader. Through our countless fights, and my confusion—I was just fed up trying to figure out what I did well. Donnie stood up when someone got hurt, becoming the unspoken medic of the team. Mikey felt everything for us that we couldn’t say, feeling no shame in feeling it either._

_I became the resident hothead, so to speak. Splinter calls it passion, Leo calls it blindness. I’m still trying to figure that out._

_But, April used to always joke how there are times were we are all the same. I never thought of it like that, I didn’t want to be like them. I wanted to be me. Knowing we are the only of our kind, and that someday we won’t be around—I guess I wanted to be remembered in my own way. So, I shrugged it off. Until I started to pick up on it._

_It was the little things, at first, April was sure to point out._

_The way Don would huff when he couldn’t get something workin’ right, just as the way Leo gets when he doesn’t get his way—their own perfectionists at the end of the day. Or how Mikey prefers to talk his heart out, I rather hit something—we don’t like keeping things in._

_When Donnie gets really worked up, like stressed, he paces around the room like Leo does sometimes. Leo’s way of showing he cares is though orders, and sometimes yelling—something he and I share. Mikey and Donnie typically have the same sense of humor, usually meeting each other’s lame jokes with a belly laugh. Donnie likes to do things to keep himself busy, like me. That’s become our thing, we’d hang out and talk while working on my shell-cycle._

_As the oldest pair, Leo and I did spend a lot of time together. Even though he’s my first resort for butting heads, he—like Donnie—was always the most patient with me. Sure, he’d get fed up with me. But after a huge blowout, he’s the first one to knock at my door to make amends. Even when I was wrong, Leo was able to swallow his pride to fix it. That’s what we do, we duke it out and eventually after a few hits we eventually come to our senses. That’s why Sensei thought I got fed up so much during Leo’s absence—that it was suddenly all on me. Even though Donnie took head of house, it didn’t change the fact that Leo told **me** to take care of them before he left. _

_Mikey hung out with me too much as a kid, unfortunately picking up my worst habits. Sensei used to tell me that Mikey feels as much as I do, just like the others we all show it differently. Although he doesn’t show it much, when he does it’s like hell. He’s not an angry guy like me, but like Donnie—he builds it up and let’s just say, you don’t wanna see it pop._

_It’s the little things that we don’t really pay attention to…_

_When Leo refills Don’s coffee cup without him knowing._

_Or when I know Don could have fixed the shell-cycle in less time, but leaves it because he knows I like to work on it with him- together._

_Mikey would just know when something was up, and spend just a little more time with ya to cheer you up._

_After a fight, I apologize first to Leo because I know he’s already guiling himself a hundred times over._

_I know after a big brawl, sometimes Mikey likes to be alone—especially when things get intense. But we’d all still sneak in a family game night to cheer him up._

_When one of us gets hurt really bad, Don’s anxiety is through the roof—so bad that I’m pretty sure I catch him trembling when it’s real bad. That’s why we all decided for him to teach us anything we could learn about medicine from a simple patch up, to maybe a really serious injury._

_But suddenly, all that can go away. In an instant, everything you know could be gone._

_I was watching that happen right in front of me._

_And my entire mind screaming was how to make it stop._  

/./././././././././././././././././


	23. Part 5 (Chapter 23) At the Beginning

Author's Note: Oh my...Yes, it has been a VERY long time. I first want to apologize. These past few months have been hectic with school, work, and just life catching up to me. I've worked on this piece by piece in the past few months, and really wanted to wrap it up before the new year-- and I'm a little late. I'm in my final semester of my Master's, quickly rushing to apply for jobs and figure out my own future. We are at the end, everyone! I'm planning on doing either a chapter (maybe 2, depending) of epilogue/closure. I've been torn whether I'm gonna start another long story, which I probably will soon! I hope you enjoy! :D

Disclaimer: Song quote from "Right Here" by Ashes Within.

...

A Turtle & His Sisyphus

...

"I will show you the way back home, never leave you all alone. I will stay until morning comes."

...

/./././././././././././././././././././

Splinter could do nothing but wait. Age reminded him often of his peeking limitations as a sensei, and worse, as a father. Splinter knew the day would come that his body would fight back at him, forcing him to stay as a guest inside the Foot. His fingertips tapped at the wooden table as his gaze never left his 'shell-cell' as Donatello so cleverly named. He was not certain what to hope for. A call could only mean relief, knowing if the news was grave they would return. He closed his eyes, and hoped meditation would ease his worried heart.

/././././././././././././././././././

The air was an eerie stillness as the whole world seems to freeze around Donatello. He could have sworn that he didn't even dare blink at the mess he created in front of him.

"Don?" Raphael's voice broke through. He carefully treaded, slowly, toward his younger brother. Donnie still gripped his sai into Bishop, his eyes never leaving the body.

He knew his brother wouldn't snap to him, but Raphael was in awe. Of course, over the years, some fights got too physical—and while they knew how to kill, no one necessarily went straight to it. Of course, when it was between a life- his brother's life- there was no hesitation. Raphael could think of moments that himself, and Leo, went there. But never Don, or Mikey. No matter how messed up, or evil, Raphael believed Bishop to be—this was Donatello, and he left no room for failure as he always does.

"Donnie," Raphael spoke gently, kneeling down beside his frozen brother. Placing his hand on top of Donnie's, he softly pressed, "Don, we have to get to Leo and Mikey. Let me-."

"No." His voice cracked, as if he just awoke from his own nightmare. He turned to Raphael, as he loosened his grip on the sai. Desperately struggling to find the words, his voice could only whisper a spur of stutters. "Raph, I…I shouldn't have- I should have-."

Despite how cruel the world can be to him, Donatello did his best to see the hope in everyone. Even when the Shredder was still around, he just wanted him to be stopped- not dead. Leo and himself knew what needed to be done, and did not hesitate to take a life if needed. Raphael doesn't like doing it, but he will do whatever it takes to protect his city and family. But Donnie, and Mikey, were not like them. Raphael knew he was losing his brother in his own thoughts, his own guilt. Guilt for taking a life, no matter how awful it was.

Raphael grabbed his brother's shoulders, shaking Donnie to face him. He voice grew softer with his grip, desperate to move past this, "You saved me, Don. You did what any of us would have, okay? Don't worry about that now." Raphael softly spoke as he carefully pulled Donnie's hands away from the sai. "We have to move. We have to get to the others."

Donnie watched as Raph's eyes shifted from the body to a group of ninja. The foot. Karai sent them? They stood idly by, as if they were waiting for orders. He was taken back at first, instinctively stepping in front of Donnie. Yet, the ninja did not budge. They waited for orders. I owe Leo one for trusting her, for now.

Raphael stood back up, bringing volume back into his voice. "One of you stay with him," Raphael pointed to Bishop, "the rest of ya go scope out the areas. We gotta make sure he didn't leave any more messes behind."

The ninja dismissed, besides the remaining one. Raphael helped his younger brother to his feet, retrieving back his sai. Donnie rose back to his feet, awkwardly handing back Raphael his sai as he continued to watch the body. He didn't know what else to say, or do, besides, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Donnie breathed, taking one final glance at the body before snapping back into reality. Retrieving his bo, he looking back to Raph. "Come on, Leo can't be too far."

Raphael hesitantly watched as Donatello snapped back into reality, and dashed off ahead of him. He paused, taking one menacing last look at Bishop before following behind his brother—saying anything close to a prayer in his mind that his brothers were as lucky.

/././././././././././././././././

_Keep running! Don't look back!_

_Cause' I was 95% sure that if I did, a monster would be chasing behind me._

_Today, I know what an idiot I was for running out of the lair in a pure fit of dramatics. Trust me, Splinter didn't hesitate to remind me 100 times—literally, the punishment was 100 katas._

_But, at the time, it really did feel like I was just erased from the picture—from my brothers. And that hurt like hell, so I did what I thought I could. Run off, maybe meet some new friends, have a wacky adventure, learn about myself, sing some Oscar worthy songs, and then years down the road have my huge homecoming—but this wasn't a cartoon. This was real._

_And my battery died, and I was just aimlessly running around in the freezing cold._

_Every creak, and splash that wasn't my own, just amplified the very fear that I was going to be alone down here forever. That I was so lost, that probably no one would find me. Feeling completely hopeless, I just fell to my knees on the cold concrete. I was cold, and alone—and I didn't want this._

_Raph always says that—"I can't wait to run away" or "screw you guys the first chance I get I'm outta here". But, I don't think he can ever really mean it._

_I just want to forget this ever happened. Press a rewind button somewhere so I won't feel so stupid about what I did._

_But I couldn't give up hope._

_Not yet._

/./././././././././././././././

The icy cold water felt like nothing compared to the pounding in his chest. By the time he was able to carry his brother out of the water, his whole body was trembling. The fear, that very moment that he swore to his father to prevent, was happening in front of him.

He felt this only a few times in his life. The first time was when they were children, still naïve to the world above. When trainings were simple, full of knowledge and purpose for good. When play was free, and they could roam the sewers. That's when himself and Raphael tangled with the albino crocodile, nearly losing his younger brother in the process. Splinter sat him down, warned him of the dangers that their family can face. That's when play turned into security, if he let his guard down one of his brothers could be hurt. Splinter began training him as leader, to encourage him and steer away from his fears just like he did with his heights. But this wasn't a valued lesson at the end of the day, this was his family—and he wore his new position like a mask.

So closed off that it practically ripped his family apart—many times. Fighting the Shredder, when the Kraang ended up saving their lives when they were seconds from death. It all was the same to him, the same terrifying truth. Death, is inevitable. But life can be protected, it can be nurtured and grown. And he swore he would be damned if anyone were to go before him.

But his intentions, unknowingly, caused his family tremendous pain. Arguments with Raphael, still leaving a sting from their exchange of words—especially from that night, the night that they hve yet to speak about again. Bickering with Donatello, his unofficial second in command, that were so meaningless. Reprimanding Michelangelo for just being. All little moments that snowballed into massive arguments, fights that he lost on purpose so Raphael could feel like he made a point. Letting Donnie sleep in his lab so he can contribute to the team. Smiling at Mikey's jokes, and making some back.

Of course going to South America made sense, Splinter approved. His six-month trip turned into a year. Letter writing every month turned into silence for 6 months. This wasn't like his training with the Ancient One, or sparing with Usagi- this was isolation, Leo realized. It didn't make him a better person, and it did no good for his family.

More moments appeared in his life, when his fear suffocated him so. Splinter growing ill, or when he was injured. Donnie's mutation, watching as he lost his brother and the crippling fear that he could never be himself again. Raphael taking Leo, or anyone's hits, that ended him up in Donnie's infirmary for months.

"Stay with me!" Leonardo cried out before even gasping his own breath of air, carrying his brother on his shell as ever fiber of his own being fought against the waves. Pushing his body already past it's nearing limit, he struggled against the remaining waves as he rode it back to shore. Once able to stand on his feet again, he raced to carry his brother away from the sea. Freezing wouldn't to justice how cold it truly felt for

"Hang in there!" Leo shouted over the waves as he pressed down repeatedly on his brother's plastron. Every crash of a wave he punched and pushed with every shiver down his spine. He fought against it, as he always does, pushing himself beyond the limit. Upon riding the final wave to the shoreline, he gently placed his brother back onto his shell. His pale, cold skin didn't tell him any news—but his faint pulse did.

Panic arose in him. The same, stomach turning, panic that he felt when Raphael's sai was inches to his throat. When there was a chance Donatello would not return to normal, and remain a beast. No. Leonardo refused for all this struggle, and pain, to end like this. He pounded on his brother's chest, desperately trying to hear Don's soft-spoken voice telling him what to do step-by-step. Like every ounce of himself left was being pushed into his brother's life, and he'd be damned if he would lose it. He repeated over and over, feeling like a lifetime was passing by as his brother's body made no effort to comply.

"Come on! I won't let you! Not after all this! Please…" Leo croaked, feeling the freezing aftermath beginning to stiff his body. He didn't stop fighting, he continued putting more pressure on every word, feeling warm tears brink the corners of his eyes. "Please…"

"Leo!"

His heart sank, as he heard his brothers' cries. He was failing—failing once again as a leader, and worse, a brother. How could Raphael accept it? Can Donnie fix this? Leo didn't stop, he wouldn't stop. Heavy footsteps were rushing over for moments before collapsing beside him. Raphael knelt beside Leo, tightly grabbing Leo's shoulders. Donnie swiftly moved toward Mikey and desperately picked up where Leo left off. By the time he did, he soon realized—he didn't need to. Not anymore.

/././././././././././././././././

"Please…"

The first thing Michelangelo felt was a tight grip on his shoulders that shook him down into what could only feel like concrete. His eyes were heavy, struggling to cough up anything that was left in his stomach that stopped him from breathing. The painful grip stopped as he was met with a warm embrace, with someone choking back a sob as it held him close.

It was warm, but it was shaking. His body wheezed against anything that was left inside, and still was met with a tight embrace. For the first time in a long one, he felt safe. Then a familiar voice cracked, "You're okay, you're okay, we're okay."

It was repeating over and over as if it were a prayer. But maybe it was, Mikey thought, as he fought so hard to just open his eyes. But it wasn't working, cause Leo was still shaking. Was he cold? Oh right- the river, he remembered. The memories kept flooding back as he tried to feel anything besides the crushing pain in his chest. But there were voices, so many more voice.

"Mikey!"

"You're back!"

Everything felt so right, so safe for the first time in weeks. He leaned against Donnie as the others embraced together. Everything was going to be okay. _I'm home_.

/./././././././././././././././././

Casey Jones was no stranger to the unexpected. He always found himself as the 'go-with-the-flow' kind of guy, easily able to adapt to anything. Losing his father taught him survival. He kept to himself years after, knowing all too well the consequences of those surrounding him if the Dragons ever knew who he was. It was the reason he unexpectedly cut ties with some childhood friends, never dared go any further than a one night stand, and convinced his own mother to leave the city. He needed to be alone, he had to be reminded of the pain he felt as a child—a grim reminder of why he alone had to stop the Dragons.

Casey always saw himself as laid back, and not giving a damn about anything but his resolve. That was, until the turtles landed into his life. It wasn't until years after that Casey noticed something had changed about him. His resolve wasn't from a place of rage, or hurt—it came from love. He gained a family, one who was just as misunderstood as he. Leonardo, the ever fearless leader, at times reminded him of his own father—no matter how much he nagged, he always was there to provide stability. Raphael quickly became his best friend, an ally who didn't need to ask questions to know where he was coming from. Before Raph learned how to tune up his own bike, Donnie was the go-to for fixes. Casey found himself getting to know Don through repairs, quickly bantering over inside jokes. Michelangelo was that annoying little brother a part of him wish he had. Video games, pizza, (until recently, drinking)—he always found a way to pick him back up.

This was the family he would not lose again, this time he was going to fight for them regardless. And of course, she knew that. She always did. April. Fierce, brilliant, and practically perfect—Casey still cant get over how someone like him could even be associated with someone like her. After all their ups and downs, he would lay his life down for hers at any moment. He felt a warm hand touch his, drifting his attention away from the road as he looked over at April. Her face was scrunched up with worry, as her eyes practically screamed, 'Are they okay?'.

Casey offered a short nod, catching Karai in the backseat talking in Japanese to what he could only assume to be the Foot. He tried to shut his skeptical mind, but his mouth was always faster. "Well? What are they saying?"

"The situation has been neutralized." Karai ended her call. Pausing for a moment, almost in thought before she carefully continued. "Raphael and Donatello are confirmed safe."

"What about Leo and Mikey?" Casey didn't know why he bothered to even ask. He bit the inside of his lip, having a dreadful feeling what news was next. Casey trailed off, "Are they…?"

"I'm not certain. The other two went after them, so they can't be far."

"They have to be, I just know it." April spoke softly, Casey knew probably to herself. His hand reached over, caressing her arm gently.

"They should be-."

"Leo!" Her desperate call shocked Casey enough to slam on the break. April swung the car door open before he could even say a word. It took him a moment to catch his eye, finding not three but all four of them huddled together. Although it was almost a month since she last saw him, Leonardo just didn't look the same. He was exhausted, shivering as he held his brother close to him. Casey watched for a moment from the car as she embraced them warmly.

"Thank God," Casey sighed to himself with a smile, feeling the weight come off of him.

"As always," Karai's voice broke through the moment. "those four always seem to come out in one piece."

"Yeah, not without scars though." Casey was taken back at his sudden interest in conversing with her. Putting the van he park he turned over to her, knowing he had to be the one to make the first move. "So, what now? Bishop's out, his goons are gonna disperse, the Dragons and the mafia are retreating to their parts. What's the Foot gonna do?"

"I did my part. What happens next? That is none of your concern," Karai curtly replied, stepping out of the car. She walked toward the driver's window, offering a small smirk. "I know it does not mean much to you, but you could have went against me at any point. You kept your word to Leonardo. But, as did I."

"So?" Casey scoffed.

"Loyalty is powerful. It can be like a trance, unable to see anything else. It's what Bishop tried to use as a weapon. As noble as it is, it nearly cost the life of the city—of my men. You put your life, and Ms. O'Niel's, for those four everyday. You know the costs, as did I when I agreed to this 'alliance'. I can trust in words, but it is the undoubting loyalty that overpower it."

"And…what's your point?"

"Do you know why people like my father, and Bishop, can never win? Why I, could never win? Because at the end of it all, they can never trust another. My men are loyal to me, that is no doubt. But…I do not trust them with my life. Lone wolfs only survive for so long until they realize they need a pack to thrive. People like Leonardo earned…my trust. He had many times to end my life, when it was just, but he let me live. That's my point. You can only shut out the world, Mr. Jones, until it consumes you entirely—and you do not want to be alone when it does."

Casey wasn't fully sure of the woman standing beside him, and was taken back at her sudden change of person. He didn't even think of a response before watching her walk away from the truck…

/././././././././././././


	24. Part 5 (Chapter 24) Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: PLEASE READ. Okay, wow, first of all- I want to apologize. I did not expect there to be this much gap between the last chapter and now. A lot has happened between then and now, let's just say my last year of grad school REALLY kicked my butt. But, all is well! I graduated with my master's, I officially started working full-time in my career, and moved. For the first time in while, I found the peace and time to actually sit and finish. While this is the last major plot chapter, I will be writing a epilogue to conclude the brothers' interactions and more! I will also be teasing very briefly in the prologue a NEW chapter series I will be writing! This story has been so close to my heart, and honestly reflects A LOT of transitions between when this started in 2012 all the way to today. Each one of you who has read, followed, and shared your thoughts mean so much to me. Every one of you have inspired me to continue. Please message me or review your thoughts and reactions. Every one counts! Thank you all for tagging along. And I HOPE to see you all in the epilogue (COMING SOON- I will promise that!) and in my new series as well. Thank you all so very much.

/./././././././././././././././././ 

_Everything’s dark. Everything’s cold. Guilt and regret were the only feelings that made me feel anything besides my fingertips probably turning blue. I sat at any corner I could feel and bury my head in my knees. I just wanted to erase everything that happened. Just smash the rewind button and go back home. I could imagine hearing the guys freaking out at me. Splinter, giving me disappointing frown that would speak thousands. I’ll get by ass kicked in training or by my brothers—but probably both. But, somehow, I could feel it get darker around me as the air grew still. Knowing that any moment could be the final chapter in my young life._

_Thinking about it, I’d much rather the wrath of my own family than any demon about to get me._

_Now, I won’t lie. I tapped out. I got to the awful, helpless, point of just mentally stretching out my arms and being like ‘come get me’! I was being a brat, honestly. But, I hoped for anything._

_And you take what you can get._

_For me, it was a very echoy voice that sounded miles away. But that was enough for me to jump up and run toward it. Human or not, anything was better than nothing. The further I ran, the louder my steps were. The darkness didn’t help much as I tripped often over the edges of the pathway near the sewer water (gross, I know). But, once I was at least close enough to the main tunnel—a light shined at the end. I panicked and jumped back to the corner for a moment, fearing that a human could in fact be down here._

_The flashlight was growing brighter with every step. Each one getting louder as a small voice followed. “Mikey?”_

_I knew I’d recognize Don’s quiet voice from anywhere. I nosedived right for him with a loud cry. Don was completely off guard as I wrapped myself around his arm and tripped onto my knees. No matter how mad or upset I was, nothing could be worse than the fear that I could have been completely alone. I could feel tears welding up in my eyes as I kept my head low, “I’m sorry, D. I’m sorry.”_

_“Guys! I found him!” Donnie called out ahead before crouching down with me. He always had the softest smile. Grabbing me into a half hug, he shrugged with a laugh. “Geez, you take ‘it’s my birthday I could cry if I want to’ to a whole new level, huh?”_

_God, he could be **so** lame. But I was so happy that even I began laughing. Helping me back on my feet, Don continued, “Are you okay? How far did you-?”_

_“Mikey!” A loud, definitely pissed off, voice stomped over. Raph was defiantly not as warm as Don, but I could tell he was really worried. Mostly cause he shoved me out of Don and pushed me not-as-hard-as-he-could-have and hissed, “ **Don’t** do that again! We spent forever looking for you!”_

_“I’m sorry,” I said pretty weakly. He wasn’t wrong, and that hurt more than the shove. I knew I deserved both._

_I think Raph noticed, and swiftly recovered like he always did. He put his hand on my shoulder, his glare slightly lessening. “Look, we’re sorry about your present, okay? Don- uh, we all kinda tried putting something together for you and messed up. We’ll make it up to you.”_

_“But don’t do it again!”_

_Ah, there was the mini-fearless leader himself—definitely aging in voice and stature. Returning to Raph’s side, he looked a lot less pissed than I thought he was. Assuming he saw the blunt of Raph’s rage, he lessened his own in order to check on me. While he was noticeably upset, his voice was more concerning, “You can’t just run off like that, Mikey. What were you thinking?”_

_“I, uh, wasn’t.” I said honestly, feeling even more embarrassed. “I…I just wanna go home now.”_

_I knew what waited for me at home. Katas, regret, yelling, regret, more katas—oh right, and Splinter. But anything was better than here, including all the punishments. I stayed close to Don, like he was my shield, keeping my head hanging low to avoid any more eye contact. Leo just deeply sighed. His voice softened as I felt a warm hand pat against my head, “Okay. Let’s go.”_

_The idea of a ‘home’ is weird. It could be a place you go to every day, where you know ever corner and surface that feels like it’s a part of you. It could be a memory, one filled with love and happiness, and able to take on the world. It could be a person, or others—who guide you through the darkest times. But life doesn’t cooperate—it changes, it shifts, it gives, and it takes away homes in an instant. It leaves you feeling so lost, alone, empty. I feared that so damn much. Every beating, every injury I watched my family endure—I could feel the foundation in my heart crack. But we supported each other, we were always together._

_Maybe, I too was their home._

_Maybe, that’s what can keep me awake right now._

/./././././././././././././././././././././

April grew too familiar with recognizing a lie. She was no stranger to her innate ability to be able to read those around her. It was probably what gave her an edge as a student, and eventually working under Stockman. She was direct, and fearless to find the truth. This often cost her a fair deal of rocky relationships, not that it mattered much to her at the time. She hated feeling lost or naïve to anything around her.

 

Closer she got to the turtles and Casey, she grew very protective of them. Able to recognize the way Leonardo stares out blankly ahead of him when he gets to overwhelm, or when Raphael is upset he actually gets more quiet than loud. April keeps Donatello’s secrets, mostly with his anxiety attacks after patching up one of his brothers. She’s found herself to be the keeper of these moments, realizing how little they could know still about each other. Michelangelo was so easy for her to see that she almost missed his deep sense of wisdom and respect. She always overheard Splinter’s projections of hope for his growth as a ninja, but wasn’t until years later able witness his flexibility and natural instinct he had for the art with ease. Deep down, she always wondered if Mikey purposefully kept that to himself. Or, perhaps, he truly didn’t feel like he could measure up to his siblings.

 

This tugged her heart, a sting of guilt sinking deep in her gut. How could she have missed this? He was hurt, isolated—was she too caught up in her own lifestyle that she wasn’t there to support him? How many other opportunities did they need her without her being there for them? Could she ever be?

 

April shook her head, recalling back to her assault from the Purple Dragons. Her first recollection of conscious was feeling a hand squeeze hers and a choked sob. Her first glimpse of reality shook her. Casey, looking far too old for his age, was completely disheveled and distraught as he jumped from his seat and hugged her close. He begged her not to go back to sleep as he shouted for doctors to return to her side.

 

Casey must have sensed her darkened thoughts as she’s already drowned out his argument wit Karai. A familiar warm hand gently squeezing over hers caught her attention. April turned over to him, met with a smirk on his face as he continued his banter.

 

Returning her gaze ahead of her, she sat up in her seat as her phone’s GPS began ringing faster as they got closer to the docks. Even in the dark of the night she was able to make the familiar silhouettes. She mentally counted each one by one, feeling her heart freeze when she only counted three. April felt the car slow down as she lowered down her window and called, “Leo!?”

 

The car suddenly slammed into a halt. Ignoring Casey’s surprised grunt, April found herself already unbuckling her seatbelt and hopping out of the nearly moving vehicle. She ignored Casey’s cries as her feet already began racing.

 

Raphael was the first—ever the protector as he stepped out of the shadows first to evaluate his surroundings. Upon leaning into the light, April was able to see the damage he had taken. April recognized a significant amount of blood pouring in between his collarbone and shoulder. Immediately, April took off her scarf and rushed to him as she offered a small smile as she without question began wrapping it for him. He looked completely drained, nevertheless pale from the blood loss. “Raph! What happened?”

 

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Raphael rushed, instinctively flinching at April’s quick response to his wound. He allowed her to continue, knowing there was no stopping her. He turned back toward the others as he waved them over. Taking a quick glance at the wrap, he began stepping away and going toward the others, “April. We gotta get home. **_Now_**.”

 

“Wait-!” April reached back out to Raphael.

 

“April!” Leonardo stumbled, carrying Michelangelo on his left side as Donatello assisted on the other side. Shivering noticeably, his skin eerily nearly matched the color of his own mask. Leo began struggling, limping on his other side in order to focus all his strength on supporting Mikey. April swiftly moved without word, knowing she couldn’t possible carry the youngest turtle on her own she still moved in between in order to alleviate Leo. Luckily, Raphael was able to pick up on her cue and began assisting Leo. April was able to switch her attention to Mikey, who was half awake himself. He somehow looked smaller to her, unsure if it had been time or what else happened to him that made him seem so different. She could tell he was struggling to stay awake as he forced a smile.

 

“Hey,” His voice was raspy and small, yet still had enough strength to smile at her. “l-long time n-no see, huh?”

 

_They bounce back, they always do. They have to._

“I’m so happy you’re okay!” April felt a lump in her throat. It felt so long without seeing the four of them together, battered or not—they were getting closer to home. She gently caressed over the youngest face, flitching at his cold skin.

 

“April,” Donatello’s voice broke her thoughts. At first she was taken back at the sudden sharpness of the genius’ voice. His eyes looked glassy, faded, as if he truly wasn’t here at all. It frightened her for a moment before he attempted to repair, softening his voice. “We are going back to the lair. Can you call Leatherhead and meet us there?”

 

“Yeah, of course.”

 

“Come on, we’ll get you guys home.” Casey ushered, wrapping his arm around Leo. Helping Leo over to the van, he looked over at Raphael. Raph was quick to replace Leo beside Mikey, carrying him with Donnie. They looked battered, defeat. _Not exactly a victory march, could I blame them? Is Bishop…?_ He knew he shouldn’t ask, but that didn’t stop him from abruptly turning to Raph. “What about-?”

 

“It’s finished, alright?” Casey found it odd for Raph to be so cut and dry, especially when he damn well didn’t look it. He figured something must have happened, and figured to leave it be for now. Raphael huffed as he mumbled something to Donnie before picking up his youngest brother himself, rushing past Casey as he headed over to the van and gently putting Mikey down. Donnie too slowed down a bit as April joined his side, whispering to him. Probably checking up on him, he thought _. She must feel it too._

 

They were desperate, Casey’s gut screamed. Everything was wrong. If Leo didn’t hold onto Casey so tightly, he’d barley know he was there. Leo was eerily silent, at times looking back to check on the others. Raph usually attempts to shrug off any stress, but he looked cracked. As if he was now the one to keep everyone together. Casey couldn’t place it, but Don looked so distant. _Jesus, what happened?_

“Seriously, Case? Pick **_up_** the pace.” Raphael barked. Shoving himself between Casey and Leo, he pushed him out of the way to finish helping Leo.

 

“I’m fine.” Leo hissed.

 

“Shut up.”

 

Casey knew his place. He rushed over to the driver’s seat and started the car. Through the rearview mirror he watched Raph take full on leadership as he dictated where everyone needed to be and what to be doing. Casey knew what he had to do, and sped off into the night.

/././././././././././././././././././

_It’s over. We’re home again. We’re all here. Everything’s back to normal. Well, the normal for us at least. Splinter, probably saying some prayer alone in the dojo. Leo, refusing to be on bed rest and taking care of himself, he at least wore one of the larger sweaters we found a long time ago as he hovered over Leatherhead watching him check over Mikey. On the outside, he could have been worse. We got him back fast enough to treat all his urgent injuries. Besides looking a but underweight and his face bruised up, he’ll walk out okay once the antibiotics kick in. To be honest, he eerily looked more calm then the three of us combined. He probably felt just as much at peace with all of us here than nothing at all. Raph was close enough in the corner with Casey, observing everything. Just like Leo, refusing to take anything for his own injury. He’d eye me at times, probably wondering as much as I am if we’re keeping what happened between us._

_Was this all our days were going to be?_

_Waiting for the next disaster to strike?_

/./././././././././././././././././././ 

_We all have shadows. Some are larger than others, some hide behind the light. The very existence of a shadow relies on a light. One can’t exist without the other. We must accept both, acknowledge both in our lives. No matter how large the shadow, the light is just as big._

_But this shadow felt big as I watched it come closer to me. I don’t budge, hoping I could fool it. Shocker—it doesn’t._

“Here,” Leonardo carefully placed the plate beside Mikey’s nightstand closer to him before sitting on the end of the bed, “you should eat something since you skipped dinner.”

 

“I’m okay.” His voice was as small as he felt. Picking his head up, he tried giving him a smile, “Thanks, Leo.”

 

Leonardo nodded before giving a deep sigh. “Listen, Mikey…You’ve been avoiding all of us since we got back. I told them to give you space; you were…gone for a while. I…I don’t know what happened to you. And it’s okay to not talk about that, not until you’re ready. But, completely shutting everyone out isn’t good either. It’s safe here; you’re safe with us. Whatever happened, it doesn’t change how much we care about you. I’ll leave you alone, if that’s what you need, but I’m gonna check in to make sure you eat something. Okay?”

 

“Why are you doing this?”

 

“Doing what?”

 

“This!” Mikey exclaimed, sitting up while tucking his knees up to his chin. “Being nice, checking in, you know—being a _good_ brother. I…I don’t deserve that. Not after this, not after what happened.”

 

He didn’t have to say anything more. Leonardo was quick to intervene, his voice full of authority. “Michelangelo, what happened wasn’t your fault.”

 

“Maybe. But what happened to _you_ was.”

 

“Is that what this is all about? Mikey-.”

 

“Come on!” Mikey felt the warm tears welled up in his eyes, feeling his heart hurt as if the floodgates opened. “Don’t you get it? I got you hurt, and not like a recovery hurt—I made your life harder! It’s my fault you almost died, it’s my fault you have to learn how to use your hand again, it’s my fault-!”

 

Leo didn’t speak a word as he stood up to embrace him. For a moment they held the silence. Mikey, for the first time, felt it was safe to collapse. No more walls, no more resistance. This was what safe was like. Leonardo carefully broke the silence, softly speaking, “Listen to me. I never once blamed you. Never. You had no control over what happened…None of us did. What matters now is that we’re all home, all of us.”

 

“Leo, you’re acting like you scrapped your knee or something. If I didn’t fight him-.”

 

“Donnie would have been worse off.” Leo answered indefinitely. “You did what any of us would have done. You’re right. This isn’t something I can walk off, but I’ve adjusted. See?” Pulling back, Leonardo grabbed one of Mikey’s nunchaku and spun it around with his prosthetic. Smiling confidently, he flipped it in the air and caught it before returning it to its side. “See? Just like before, just a little tighter. I can hold heavier swords now, and even stop a blade from stopping.”

 

“You don’t have to be an optimist for me, you know. It still sucks. But…I appreciate you trying.”

 

“Anytime.” Leonardo smiled to himself. _I learned from you to take the small victories._ “I gotta check on Sensei, you eat something okay? I’ll come back in a bit-.”

 

“Wait.” Mikey reached out, grabbing his arm. His voice panicked, “What happened to Bishop? Is he-?”

 

“Confirmed Dead.” Leonardo answered quickly. That was all he needed to know, for now. “His lab destroyed, and all his allies fled. It’s okay now. Rest up. I’ll be back-.”

 

“Wait.” Mikey let go, looking up at him. “Can…Can you stay for a bit?”

 

Leonardo felt his heart warm up, swiftly taking a seat beside him. “Of course.”

/./././././././././././././././ 

Reluctantly, Casey and April returned home after checking with Leo again and again to be sure. Splinter continued to spend most of his evening in the dojo meditating. When he wasn’t there, he sat with Michelangelo as he “slept”. Don knew all too well when Mikey was faking it, probably to avoid any conversation. He figured Splinter knew this too. Leonardo and Raphael were whispering off to the corner, both shared a worrisome serious look. Don felt his gut turn, knowing Raph was probably telling Leo what happened on the rooftop. Maybe they were talking about the possibility of Mikey releasing, or maybe if Bishop wasn’t actually dead? He didn’t bother with possibilities, he rather work with facts. Retreating back to his lab, he ran through Mikey’s blood tests again. Hoping, for the first time in weeks, it’d be negative.

 

For a moment, he felt his gut stir. He hadn’t yet spoken much to anyone; let alone Mikey since his rescue. No matter his own guilt, Don knew he’d have to sneak in to check on his youngest brother soon. _But not until I have actual good news to tell him._

A thought passed him. Does his brother even know that Bishop is out for good? Wouldn’t that help him? His stomach turned, his vision flashing to the blood dripping from his hands. Not his blood, but Bishop’s. The blade twisting tightly into him as he plunged his entire upper strength into it. The sickening relief he felt watching the life fade away from his enemy’s eyes, Don felt as if he was back in that moment.

 

Like a splash of cold water, he heard his heavy lab door swing opened. A gruff voice called out before closing it behind him, “Donnie? Hey, you good?”

 

“Raph, not now.” Don didn’t bother turning to face his brother. His face stiffened as he planted his feet to the ground, tapping his index finger to his knee as he tried to center himself back into reality.

 

Raphael saw his brother spiraling, and he’ll be damned if he didn’t snap him back. Grabbing a chair, he rushed beside him and sat next to him. Putting his hand on his shoulder, he softly said, “If not now, when? Don, look, what happened on the rooftop-.”

 

“I _know_ what happened.” Donnie huffed, feeling himself lose control with raw emotion. “I know what I did. I _know_ it was the right thing, I know he was going to hurt you. I **_know_** that I did what every one of us would have done. Okay? I get it.”

 

Raphael bit his check has hard as he could. He hated seeing Don get this worked up, especially over a low life like Bishop. He was so sick of watching his brother practically kill himself from stress over it. He was angry, and didn’t miss a beat to spit back, “Then why are you _fucking_ acting like you killed a friend or something?”

 

“There was a moment there when something just…turned on for me. Something darker, that I didn’t feel before. I was so angry about what he did to us. I was so pissed that he played me over and over again. I hated feeling so used, hell he turned my own computer systems against me. I hated him. I…” Don paused for a moment, feeling himself returning to the reality of how he truly felt. “I thought that Mikey or Leo were dead and it was his fault. I…I would have kept going if you weren’t there. I just know it. I _hate_ that this is what our lives are. We bleed for this city and it’s people every goddamn day and every time we get kicked and shoved until we can’t get up. I…Raph, do you _really_ wanna spend the rest of your life thinking that tomorrow one of us can be gone?”

 

“You think I’m that morbid?” Reading his younger brother’s stone reaction, he quickly retreated from his failing joke. “Of course not. Geez, Don, I mean yeah we get beat down but you gotta give us—no, _yourself_ —more credit than that, bro. We can break, but we always pick each other back up. Without you, we’d be broken. All of us. It…It took me a long fucking time to realize that. Don’t make my mistake, Don. I know every time we go topside is a risk. We live with a target on our backs everyday, but that doesn’t mean we can just tap out of the game. Bishop’s gone, Shredder’s gone—soon enough some other asshole is gonna step up and cause chaos. But we’ll be there to stop them. Together.”

 

Taken back, Donnie couldn’t help but gaze up at his older brother. In the midst of everything, he’d forgotten how different his brother has gotten over the years. For years, Raphael lost himself in trying to be better than Leonardo. Without Leo around, Donnie felt Raphael take the blow most of all. Since Leo’s return, their relationship had dramatically changed. In the midst of unspoken loyalty and support, he could finally see the respect between the two. Standing beside him, Donnie saw the brother he always he knew was capable of being. Offering him a short smile, he kept his nerve as Don sighed, “Our luck is gonna run out someday, you know.”

 

“Someday, yeah.” Raphael shrugged, offering back a smile. “But after this week, I’ll take those odds.”

 

A loud alarm shook the pair as Don quickly rushed to his computer as he began reviewing the results. For what felt like forever, he smiled to himself, “Maybe you’re right, Raph.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Don’s voice was light, feeling the final weigh free him. “Mikey’s tests! He’s clear!”

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	25. Epilogue

**A** uthor's  **N** ote: I wanted to share a short epilogue to conclude this series. WOW- I'm so SO thankful for all the readers, reviewers, and favorite/followers! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! As this story ends, I'm excited to begin a new chapter series. Check out a short description at the end! Enjoy!

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A Turtle & His Sisyphus

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Michelangelo decided today was going to be a pancake day. Pancakes make everyone feel better, maybe it'll help him feel better too. For the first time in the passing days, stepped out of his room to make breakfast for his family like he did a lifetime ago. Sneaking past Donatello's slightly closed door, he rushed past hoping to find everyone still asleep. He took a deep sigh of relief upon finding the dark and empty room. Knowing Splinter or Leo are the first ones up, he knew he had to make it quick.

A strange pit in his stomach steadied his speed. For so long, his mind was stuck on replay of the painful memories—Mikey felt how strange it was to not think about it. His body continuing stirring instead, resonating the all too familiar guilt he's been carrying for weeks. It all swarmed back to him—Leo, Bishop, drugs—dreading that he'd be stuck in this painful loop of remorse. Mikey always saw himself like a dream catcher—holding onto the bad memories, and letting the good ones pass through. He's the voice of victories in his family, but also keeps the silence of the losses. The too many times his brothers' lives were at risk, he had to bring back the happiness—always looking at the lighter side. But, he knew he was holding in too much anger, hurt, and guilt.

Mikey felt he was on autopilot. Beat the eggs, remember his brothers' worried looks. Stir in flour, remember Bishop's words—rinse and repeat. His face rested a stern frown, attempting to listen to every click and clank of the lair to drown out the crippling guilt. He  _should_  be happier again, smiling and being with his family.  _Why can't I just be…me again?_

But something clicked, like Leo promised. He felt motivated, and frankly bored locking himself in his room. It was his choice to retreat, and like he hoped—his family made sure he wouldn't isolate completely.

Splinter brought him tea and consoled him. Mikey didn't realize how much he missed those moments until they slipped away from him. Leo was always the first up, always knocking before entering his room to leave him food. He'd sit for a minute, checking in with Mikey before seeing himself out. Raphael didn't say much when he'd visit. He'd bring in their video game console, toss him a controller, and sit on the floor as the two played match after match until Mikey said he was done. It took Donatello the longest to visit him, except for the medical check ups. He was the first to tell Mikey he was clear, making it the first time in months Mikey saw Don smile again.

Mikey turned his back to Leo as he began cooking the pancakes. He still couldn't look his brother in the eye, even visit after visit. Was this how it was always going to be?

"You know," Leo leaned against the counter top, smiling sadly. "I was so angry for months after almost losing you all. I hurt everyone, but mostly I hurt myself. I kept everything locked in so tight, I didn't want you all to see me hurt. I'm the fearless leader, I have to keep everyone together. So I was tougher on you guys, more cut and dry. I thought I was doing the right thing. But, in reality, I was a ticking time bomb. Waiting to detonate either myself, or explode so badly around you all that you'd all reject me anyway. And I finally did, to Splinter. God, I can still remember how angry I was. Blaming him every day, growing to the point of nearing loathing him. I kept asking myself why. Why didn't he teach me more? Why didn't he give me enough training to protect you all better? Why wasn't I enough? Honestly, I blacked out in that moment. As much as it hurt, I knew I had to leave. The Ancient One grounded me again. It was the best thing I did. But, that was me. I had to take a step back. That…that doesn't mean you have to. My point is, you can't keep yourself locked away. I did it, and so did Raph and Donnie. I…I don't want to see you do what we all did. Even if it means stepping away from us. If you want, it's okay if you want some time away. I…I can call the Ancient One if you want to go with him. Go spend some time with the Justice Force for a month or so—do whatever you have to do to  _ **forgive**_  yourself. I can sit here all day and tell you how much I don't blame you, how we all don't blame you. But if you don't take care of yourself…it's all meaningless."

Mikey hadn't even realized he burnt the pancake. His knew his eyes were watering as he stared blankly at the burning dish. Leo, hell his whole family, just gets him. He unlocked himself. Allowing the tears to flow silently. He didn't know what else to say, or do, besides quietly saying, "Thank you."

He heard his brother get up, walking over to him as he put his arm around him. He felt his brother's cold metallic hand on his shoulder, but it still made him feel warmer. "I promise you, you'll get through this. You're strong. Always have been."

"Thanks, Leo." Mikey smiled back, trying to compose himself. "I…I appreciate it, but I think I want to just stay with you guys. Being alone kinda sucked and I…just wanna hang out. We haven't had a pizza game night in a while. Pizza's on me? Or…uh…given the recent events maybe Chinese will be better?"

"Sounds good to me. Uh…" Leo chuckled, as he took the pan. "We'll give Raph the burnt one. I heard he lost in Mario Kart last night to you  _ **and**_  Don in a row."

"The fuck you talking about, Fearless?" Raphael growled, rushing over to the kitchen. Crossing his arms he noticed Leo standing beside Mikey. He could easily notice his youngest brother slightly trembling. Leo made eye contact with Raph, smiling as he tilted his head toward his brother encouragingly. Making things normal again, make him smile again. Raphael gave a quick nod. Smirking back at Leo, he spat back, "Right now. You and me. Mario Kart. Loser has burnt pancakes."

"You really should just take your losses, but if you insist." Leo called out to Raph as he began setting up the game. Leo smiled to Mikey before heading over to Raph.

"Why are we shouting so early?" Donnie could practically be crawling out of his room as he slumped over to the coffee machine. Mikey knew Don was in zombie mode in the morning. Don notice Mikey whipping his eyes as he quickly continued cooking.

Mikey cleared his throat, as he smiled to Don. "Uh, well…Raph challenged Leo to Mario Kart over burnt pancakes. I'd get a good seat, it's gonna get heated pretty soon."

"Ah, I see. Knowing them it'll turn into a sparing match too so I'll stay in the safety of the food and coffee for now. If you don't mind me hanging out?"

"Of course not, D."

Far across the room, Splinter felt his heart warmed seeing his family together and whole again. Perhaps his long evening meditation and prayer were beginning to take affect. For each of his sons were so strong, and nothing could ever wavier that.

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END.

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_In chess, a gambit is an opening in which a player seeks to obtain some advantage by sacrificing a pawn or piece._

_A victor's crown is lighter than it's burden. Michelangelo was convinced his first Battle Nexus victory was fated. The second time, he rightfully earned his title. But maybe, it wasn't. Summoned by the Ninja Tribunal, they must face the price of victory. Deep secrets, lies, and duty will shake the turtles as they begin to uncover truths and secrets of the world. The turtles question their actions, and those who influenced them._

_Coming Soon: A New Chapter Story: Retelling of Season 5, TMNT 2003: **The Gambit**_


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